An increase in the number of divorces and a decrease in the birth rate, an increase in crime in the sphere of family and household relations and an increase in the risk of children being susceptible to neuroses due to an unfavorable psychological climate in the family. “Intrafamily life plays a huge role in the formation of personality, and not only the relationship between the child and parents, but also the adults themselves. Constant quarrels between them, lies, conflicts, fights, despotism contribute to breakdowns in the child’s nervous activity and a neurotic state.” These and other signs of family disorganization indicate a crisis state of its development at the present stage and an increase in the number dysfunctional families ny unions. It is in such families that people most often receive serious psychological trauma, which is far from in the best possible way affect their future fate.

The famous child psychiatrist M.I. Buyanov believes that everything in the world is relative - both well-being and ill-being. At the same time, he views family dysfunction as the creation of unfavorable conditions for the development of the child. According to his interpretation, a family that is dysfunctional for a child is not synonymous with an asocial family. There are many families about which, from a formal point of view, nothing bad can be said, but for a particular child this family will be dysfunctional if it contains factors that adversely affect the child’s personality, aggravating his negative emotional and mental state. “For one child,” emphasizes M.I. Buyanov, “a family may be suitable, but for another this same family will become the cause of painful emotional experiences and even mental illness.

Families are different, children are different, so that only the system of relationships “family - child” has the right to be considered “prosperous” or “dysfunctional”.

Thus, the child’s state of mind and behavior is a unique indicator of family well-being. “Defects in upbringing,” says M. I. Buyanov, “are the first and most important indicator of family dysfunction.”

Dysfunctional families are families with a low social status, in any of the spheres of life or several at the same time, who cannot cope with the functions assigned to them, their adaptive abilities are significantly reduced, the process family education child's illness proceeds with great difficulty, slowly, and with little success.

By the term “dysfunctional,” we tend to understand a family in which the structure is disrupted, internal boundaries are blurred, basic family functions are devalued or ignored, there are obvious or hidden defects in upbringing, as a result of which the psychological climate in it is disrupted, and “difficult children” appear.

Taking into account the dominant factors that have a negative impact on the development of a child’s personality, we conditionally divided dysfunctional families into two large groups, each of which includes several varieties.

1. The first group consists of families with a clear (open) form of disadvantage - the so-called conflict, problem families, asocial, immoral - criminal families and families with a lack of educational resources (in particular, single-parent families).
2. The second group is represented by outwardly respectable families, whose lifestyle does not cause concern or criticism from the public. However, the values ​​and behavior of parents sharply diverge from universal moral values, which cannot but affect the moral character of children raised in such families. A distinctive feature of these families is that the relationships between their members at the external, social level make a favorable impression, and the consequences of improper upbringing are invisible at first glance, which sometimes misleads others, however, they have a destructive impact on the personal development of children. We classify these families as internally dysfunctional (with a hidden form of disadvantage) and the types of such families are quite diverse.

Types of dysfunctional families in modern society

A distinctive feature of families with a clear (external) form of disadvantage is that the forms of this type of family have a pronounced character, manifested simultaneously in several spheres of family life (for example, at the social and material level), or exclusively at the level of interpersonal relationships, which leads to to unfavorable psychological climate in a family group. Typically, in a family with a clear form of dysfunction, a child experiences physical and emotional rejection by his parents (insufficient care for him, improper care and nutrition, various shapes family violence, ignoring his spiritual world of experiences). As a result of these unfavorable intrafamily factors, the child develops a feeling of inadequacy, shame for himself and his parents in front of others, fear and pain for his present and future.

Among seemingly dysfunctional families, the most common are those in which one or more members are addicted to the use of psychoactive substances, primarily alcohol and drugs. A person suffering from alcoholism and drugs involves all his loved ones in his illness. Therefore, it is no coincidence that specialists began to pay attention not only to the patient himself, but also to his family, thereby recognizing that addiction to alcohol and drugs is a family disease, a family problem.

One of the most powerful dysfunctional factors that destroys not only the family, but also the mental balance of the child, is parental alcoholism. It can have a negative impact not only at the moment of conception and during pregnancy, but throughout the child’s life. Families with alcohol addiction. As psychologists note (B. S. Bratus, V. D. Moskalenko, E. M. Mastyukova, F. G. Uglov, etc.), adults in such a family, forgetting about parental responsibilities, are completely immersed in the “alcohol subculture ", which is accompanied by a loss of social and moral values ​​and leads to social and spiritual degradation. Ultimately, families with chemical dependency become socially and psychologically dysfunctional.

The life of children in such a family atmosphere becomes unbearable, turning them into social orphans with living parents.

Living together with someone with alcoholism leads to serious mental disorders in other family members, the complex of which is designated by specialists as codependency.

Codependency occurs in response to a prolonged stressful situation in the family and leads to suffering for all members of the family group. Children are especially vulnerable in this regard. Lack of necessary life experience, fragile psyche - all this leads to the fact that the disharmony reigning in the house, quarrels and scandals, unpredictability and lack of security, as well as the alienated behavior of parents deeply traumatizes the child’s soul, and the consequences of this moral and psychological trauma often leave a deep imprint on all future life. life.

The most important features of the growing up process of children from “alcoholic” families are that:

1. Children grow up believing that the world is an unsafe place and people cannot be trusted;
2. Children are forced to hide their true feelings and experiences in order to be accepted by adults; they are not aware of their feelings, they do not know what their reason is and what to do about it, but it is in accordance with them that they build their lives, relationships with other people, with alcohol and drugs. Children transfer their emotional wounds and experiences into adult life, often becoming chemically dependent. And again the same problems that were in the house of their drinking parents appear;
3. Children feel emotional rejection from adults when they inadvertently make mistakes, when they do not meet the expectations of adults, when they openly show their feelings and state their needs;
4. Children, especially the elders in the family, are forced to take responsibility for the behavior of their parents;
5. Parents may not perceive the child as a separate being with their own value; they believe that the child should feel, look and do the same as they do;
6. Parents' self-esteem can depend on the child. Parents may treat him as an equal without giving him the opportunity to be a child;
7. A family with alcohol-dependent parents is dangerous because of its desocializing influence not only on its own children, but also by the spread of destructive effects on the personal development of children from other families. As a rule, entire groups of neighborhood kids appear around such houses; thanks to adults, they become involved in alcohol and the criminally immoral subculture that reigns among drinkers.

Among clearly dysfunctional families large group make up families with impaired parent-child relationships. In them, the influence on children is desocialized and manifested not directly through patterns of immoral behavior of parents, as happens in “alcoholic” families, but indirectly, as a result of chronic complicated, actually unhealthy relationships between spouses, which are characterized by a lack of mutual understanding and mutual respect, an increase in emotional alienation and the predominance of conflict. interactions.

Naturally, conflict family it does not happen immediately, but some time after the formation of the marriage union. And in each individual case there are reasons that gave rise to a family atmosphere. However, not all families are destroyed; many manage not only to survive, but to make family ties stronger. All this depends on what caused the emergence of a conflict situation and what is the attitude of each spouse towards it, as well as on their orientation towards a constructive or destructive way of resolving the family conflict. Therefore, it is necessary to distinguish between concepts such as “family conflicts” and “conflict families,” since a conflict in a family, even if quite violent, does not mean that it is a conflict family and does not always indicate its instability

"Conflicting marital unions"- noted in one of the reference books on family problems - these are families in which there are constantly areas where the interests, intentions, desires of all or several family members (spouses, children, other relatives living together) collide, giving rise to strong and lasting negative emotional states, incessant hostility of spouses towards each other. Conflict- a chronic condition of such a family.

Regardless of whether a conflict family is noisy, scandalous, where raised tones and irritation become the norm in the relationship between spouses, or a quiet one, where marital relations are marked by complete alienation, the desire to avoid any interaction, it negatively affects the formation of the child’s personality and can cause various antisocial manifestations in the form of deviant behavior.

In conflict families there is often a lack of moral and psychological support. A characteristic feature of conflict families is also a violation of communication between its members. As a rule, a protracted, unresolved conflict or quarrel hides an inability to communicate.

Conflict families are more “silent” than conflict-free families; in them, spouses exchange information less often and avoid unnecessary conversations. In such families they almost never say “we”, preferring to say only “I”, which indicates the psychological isolation of the marriage partners, their emotional disconnection. And finally, in problematic, always quarreling families, communication with each other is built in monologue mode, reminiscent of the conversation of the deaf: everyone says his own, the most important, painful thing, but no one hears him; the same monologue sounds in response.

Children who have experienced quarrels between parents receive unfavorable experiences in life. Negative images of childhood are very harmful; they determine thinking, feelings and actions in adulthood. Therefore, parents who cannot find mutual understanding with each other must always remember that even in an unsuccessful marriage, children should not be drawn into family conflicts. You should think about your child’s problems at least as much as you think about your own.

A child’s behavior turns out to be a unique indicator of family well-being or trouble. The roots of trouble in children's behavior are easy to discern if children grow up in clearly dysfunctional families. It is much more difficult to do this in relation to those “difficult” children and adolescents who were brought up in quite prosperous families. And only close attention to the analysis of the family atmosphere in which the life of a child in the “risk group” took place allows us to find out that well-being was relative. Externally regulated relationships in families are often a kind of cover for the emotional alienation that reigns in them, both at the level of marital and child-parent relationships. Children often experience an acute shortage of parental love, affection and attention due to the professional or personal employment of spouses.

The consequence of such family upbringing of children quite often becomes pronounced selfishness, arrogance, intolerance, and difficulties communicating with peers and adults.

In this regard, it is not without interest classification of family unions, proposed by V.V. Yustitskis, who distinguishes the family as “distrustful,” “frivolous,” “cunning”—with these metaphorical names he denotes certain forms of hidden family dysfunction.

"Distrustful" family. Characteristic- increased distrust of others (neighbors, acquaintances, workmates, employees of institutions with whom family members have to communicate). Family members obviously consider everyone to be unfriendly or simply indifferent, and their intentions towards the family are hostile.

This position of the parents also forms in the child himself a distrustful and hostile attitude towards others. He develops suspicion and aggressiveness, and it becomes more and more difficult for him to enter into friendly contacts with peers

Children from such families are most vulnerable to the influence of antisocial groups, since they are close to the psychology of these groups: hostility towards others, aggressiveness. Therefore, it is not easy to establish emotional contact with them and win their trust, since they do not believe in sincerity in advance and expect a catch.

"Frivolous" family. He is distinguished by a carefree attitude towards the future, the desire to live one day at a time, without worrying about what consequences today's actions will have tomorrow. Members of such a family gravitate towards momentary pleasures; plans for the future are, as a rule, uncertain. If someone expresses dissatisfaction with the present and a desire to live differently, he does not think about it seriously.

Children in such families grow up weak-willed, disorganized, and are drawn to primitive entertainment. They commit offenses most often due to a thoughtless attitude to life, lack of firm principles and undeveloped volitional qualities.

IN "cunning" family First of all, they value enterprise, luck and dexterity in achieving life goals. The main thing is the ability to achieve success in the shortest possible way, with minimal expenditure of labor and time. At the same time, members of such a family sometimes easily cross the boundaries of what is permitted. Laws and moral standards.

Such qualities as hard work, patience, perseverance are treated with skepticism, even disdain in such a family. As a result of this “education,” an attitude is formed: the main thing is not to get caught.

There are many varieties of family structure, where these signs are smoothed out, and the consequences of improper upbringing are not so noticeable. But still they exist. Perhaps the most noticeable thing is the mental loneliness of children.

Let's look at some types of families related to hidden forms of family dysfunction:

Families focused on child success A. A possible type of internally dysfunctional family is seemingly completely normal typical families, where parents seem to pay enough attention to their children and attach importance to them. The entire range of family relationships unfolds in the space between the age and individual characteristics of children and the expectations presented to them by their parents, which ultimately shape the child’s attitude towards himself and his environment. Parents instill in their children a desire for achievement, which is often accompanied by an excessive fear of failure. The child feels that all his positive connections with his parents depend on his successes, and is afraid that he will be loved only as long as he does everything well. This attitude does not even require special formulations: it is so clearly expressed through everyday actions that the child is constantly in a state of heightened emotional stress only because of the anticipation of the question of how his school (sports, music, etc.) affairs are going. He is sure in advance that “fair” reproaches, edifications, and even more serious punishments await him if he fails to achieve the expected success.

Pseudo-mutual and pseudo-hostile families. To describe unhealthy family relationships that are hidden, veiled, some researchers use the concept of homeostasis, meaning family ties that are constraining, impoverished, stereotypical and almost indestructible. The most well-known are two forms of such relationships: pseudo-reciprocity and pseudo-hostility. In both cases, we are talking about families whose members are connected to each other by endlessly repeating stereotypes of emotional interactions and are in fixed positions in relation to each other, preventing the personal and psychological separation of family members. Pseudo-mutual families encourage the expression of only warm, loving, supportive feelings, while hostility, anger, irritation and other negative feelings are hidden and suppressed in every possible way. In pseudo-hostile families, on the contrary, it is customary to express only hostile feelings and reject tender ones. The first type of families is called pseudo-solidarity or pseudo-cooperating by domestic authors.

This form of marital interaction can be transferred to the sphere of child-parent relations, which cannot but affect the formation of the child’s personality. He learns not so much to feel as to “play with feelings”, focusing exclusively on positive side their manifestations, while remaining emotionally cold and aloof. Having become an adult, a child from such a family, despite the presence of an internal need for care and love, will prefer non-interference in the personal affairs of a person, even the closest one, and will elevate emotional detachment up to complete alienation as his main life principle.

Researchers studying the psychology of such families identify as the most common three specific forms observed in them troubles: competition, imaginary cooperation and isolation.

Rivalry manifests itself as the desire of two or more family members to secure a dominant position in the home. At first glance, this is primacy in decision-making: financial, economic, pedagogical (relating to raising children), organizational, etc. It is known that the problem of leadership in the family is especially acute in the first years of marriage: husband and wife often quarrel over which of them should be the head of the family

Rivalry is evidence that there is no real head of the family.

A child in such a family grows up with the absence of a traditional division of roles in the family, which is the norm - finding out who is in charge in the “family” at every opportunity. The child develops the opinion that conflicts are the norm.

Imaginary cooperation. This form of family dysfunction, such as imaginary cooperation, is also quite common, although at the external, social level it is “covered” by the seemingly harmonious relations of spouses and other family members. Conflicts between husband and wife or spouses and their parents are not visible on the surface. But this temporary lull lasts only until one of the family members changes his position in life. Imaginary cooperation can also clearly manifest itself in a situation where, on the contrary, one of the family members (usually the wife), after a long period of doing only household chores, decides to get involved in professional activities. A career requires a lot of effort and time, so, naturally, household chores, which only the wife did, have to be redistributed among other family members and for which they are not ready.

In such a family, the child does not develop an attitude towards cooperation with members of his family, or to find a compromise. On the contrary, he believes that everyone should support the other as long as it does not go against their personal interests.

Insulation. Along with rivalry and imaginary cooperation, isolation is a fairly common form of family dysfunction. A relatively simple version of this difficulty in the family is the psychological isolation of one person in the family from others, most often this is the widowed parent of one of the spouses. Despite the fact that he lives in his children’s house, he does not take direct part in the life of the family: no one is interested in his opinion on certain issues, he is not included in the discussion of important family problems and they don’t even ask about his well-being, as everyone knows that “he is always sick.” They simply got used to him, like a piece of furniture, and they consider it their duty only to make sure that he is fed in a timely manner.

Mutual isolation of two or more family members is possible. For example, the emotional alienation of spouses can lead to the fact that each of them prefers to spend most of their time outside the family, having their own circle of acquaintances, activities and entertainment. Remaining spouses purely formally, both would rather go away than spend time at home. The family is supported either by the need to raise children, or by prestigious, financial and other similar considerations.

Mutually isolated young and parent families living under one roof can become. Sometimes they run the household separately, like two families in a communal apartment. Conversations revolve mainly around everyday problems: whose turn it is to clean common areas, who should pay for utilities and how much, etc.

In such a family, the child observes a situation of emotional, psychological, and sometimes physical isolation of family members. Such a child does not have a sense of attachment to the family; he does not know what it means to worry about another family member, if he is old or sick.

The listed forms do not exhaust the types of family dysfunction. At the same time, each of the adults, consciously or unconsciously, seeks to use children in a function beneficial to themselves. Children, as they grow older and become more aware of their family situation, begin to play games with adults, the rules of which were imposed on them. The difficult situation of children in families with certain forms of psychological distress is especially clearly manifested in the roles that they are forced to take on on the initiative of adults. Whatever the role - positive or negative - it equally negatively affects the formation of the child’s personality, which will immediately affect his sense of self and relationships with others not only in childhood, but also in adulthood.

In addition, family well-being is a relative phenomenon and may be temporary. Often a completely prosperous family moves into the category of either openly or hidden dysfunctional families. Therefore, it is necessary to constantly carry out work to prevent family dysfunction.

The influence of a dysfunctional family on the development and upbringing of a child

Family education is a controlled system of relationships between parents and children, and the leading role in it belongs to parents. They are the ones who need to know what forms of relationships with their own children contribute to the harmonious development of the child’s psyche and personal qualities, and which, on the contrary, prevent the formation of normal behavior in them and, for the most part, lead to inability to educate and deformation of personality.

Wrong choice of forms, methods and means pedagogical impact, as a rule, leads to the development of unhealthy ideas, habits and needs in children, which place them in abnormal relationships with society. Quite often, parents see their educational task as achieving obedience. Therefore, they often don’t even try to understand the child, but try to teach, scold, and read long notations as much as possible, forgetting that notation is not a lively conversation, not a heart-to-heart conversation, but the imposition of “truths” that seem indisputable to adults, but children are often not perceived and accepted because they are simply not understood. This method of surrogate upbringing gives formal satisfaction to parents and is completely useless (and even harmful) for children raised in this way.

One of the features of family education is the constant presence before the children’s eyes of a model of their parents’ behavior. By imitating them, children copy both positive and negative behavioral characteristics and learn the rules of relationships that do not always correspond to socially approved norms. Ultimately, this can result in antisocial and illegal behavior.

The specific features of family upbringing are most clearly manifested in a number of difficulties that parents face and the mistakes that they make, which cannot but have a negative impact on the formation of the personality of their children. First of all, this concerns the style of family education, the choice of which is most often determined by the personal views of parents on the problems of development and personal development of their children.

Parenting style depends not only on sociocultural rules and norms, presented in the form national traditions in upbringing, but also from the pedagogical position (point of view) of the parent regarding how to build parent-child relationship in the family, on the formation of what personal traits and qualities in children should be directed by its educational influences. In accordance with this, the parent determines the model of his behavior in communicating with the child.

Options for parental behavior

• Strict- the parent acts mainly by forceful, directive methods, imposing his own system of demands, rigidly directing the child along the path of social achievements, while often blocking the child’s own activity and initiative. This option generally corresponds to the authoritarian style.
• Explanatory- the parent appeals to common sense child, resorts to verbal explanation, considering the child equal to himself and capable of understanding the explanations addressed to him.
• Autonomous- the parent does not impose a decision on the child, allowing him to find a way out of the current situation himself, giving him maximum freedom in choice and decision-making, maximum autonomy, independence; the parent rewards the child for demonstrating these qualities.
• Compromise- to solve the problem, the parent offers the child something attractive in return for him performing an action that is unattractive to him or divides the responsibilities and difficulties in half. The parent is guided by the child’s interests and preferences, knows what can be offered in return, and what to shift the child’s attention to.
• Contributing- the parent understands at what point the child needs his help and to what extent he can and should provide it. He really participates in the child’s life, strives to help, to share his difficulties with him.
• Sympathetic- the parent sincerely and deeply sympathizes and empathizes with the child in a conflict situation, without, however, taking any specific actions. He subtly and sensitively responds to changes in the child’s condition and mood.
• Indulgent- the parent is ready to take any action, even to the detriment of himself, to ensure physiological and psychological comfort child. The parent is completely focused on the child: he puts his needs and interests above his own, and often above the interests of the family as a whole.
• Situational- the parent makes the appropriate decision depending on the situation in which he finds himself; There is no universal strategy for raising a child. The system of parental requirements and parenting strategy is labile and flexible.
• Dependent- the parent does not feel confident in himself and his abilities and relies on the help and support of a more competent environment (educators, teachers and scientists) or shifts his responsibilities to him. The parent is greatly influenced by pedagogical and psychological literature, from which he tries to glean the necessary information about the “correct” upbringing of his children.

The internal pedagogical position and views on upbringing in the family are always reflected in the manner of parental behavior, the nature of communication and the characteristics of relationships with children.

The consequence of this belief is that parents are decidedly unsure of how to deal with a child who displays negative emotions.

The following styles of parental behavior are distinguished:

1. "Commander General". This style eliminates alternatives, keeps events under control, and does not allow the expression of negative emotions. Such parents consider orders, commands and threats, designed to effectively control the situation, to be the main means of influencing their child.
2. "Parent psychologist". Some parents act as a psychologist and try to analyze the problem. They ask questions aimed at diagnosis, interpretation and evaluation, assuming that they have superior knowledge. This fundamentally kills the child’s attempts to open his feelings. A parent psychologist strives to delve into all the details with the sole purpose of guiding the child along the right path.
3. "Judge". This style of parental behavior allows the child to be considered guilty and sentenced. The only thing such a parent strives for is to prove that he is right.
4. "Priest". A style of parental behavior close to that of a teacher. The teachings boil down mainly to moralizing about what is happening. Unfortunately, this style is faceless and has no success in solving family problems.
5. "Cynic". Such parents are usually full of sarcasm and try, one way or another, to humiliate the child. His main “weapons” are ridicule, nicknames, sarcasm or jokes that can “put a child on his back.”

In addition, the styles of parental behavior discussed above in no way motivate the child to improve, but only undermine the main goal - to help him learn to solve problems. The parent will only achieve that the child will feel rejected. And when a child experiences negative feelings towards himself, he becomes withdrawn and does not want to communicate with others or analyze his feelings and behavior.

At the same time, among the unfavorable factors of family upbringing, they note, first of all, such as single-parent family, immoral lifestyle of parents, asocial antisocial views and orientations of parents, their low general educational level, pedagogical failure of the family, emotional conflict relationships in the family.

It is obvious that the general educational level of parents, the presence or absence of a complete family indicate such important conditions for family education as the general cultural level of the family, its ability to develop spiritual needs, cognitive interests of children, that is, to fully perform the functions of an institution of socialization. At the same time, factors such as parental education and family composition do not yet fully reliably characterize the family’s lifestyle, the value orientations of the parents, the relationship between the material and spiritual needs of the family, its psychological climate and emotional relationships.

The presence of one or another social risk factor does not necessarily mean the occurrence of social deviations in the behavior of children; it only indicates a high degree of probability of these deviations. At the same time, some social risk factors manifest their negative impact quite stably and constantly, while others either strengthen or weaken their influence over time.

Among the functionally insolvent, those who cannot cope with raising children, the majority of families are families characterized by unfavorable socio-psychological factors, the so-called conflict families, where relations between spouses are chronically strained, and pedagogically insolvent families with low psychological pedagogical culture parents, incorrect style of parent-child relationships. A wide variety of incorrect styles of child-parent relationships are observed: rigid-authoritarian, pedantic-suspicious, exhorting, inconsistent, detached-indifferent, conniving-indulgent, etc. As a rule, parents with socio-psychological and psychological-pedagogical problems are aware of their difficulties and strive to turn to teachers and psychologists for help, but not always without the help of a specialist are able to cope with them, understand their mistakes, the characteristics of their child, rebuild the style of relationships in the family, and get out of a protracted intra-family, school or other conflict.

At the same time, there are a significant number of families who are not aware of their problems, the conditions in which, nevertheless, are so difficult that they threaten the life and health of their children. These are, as a rule, families with criminal risk factors, where parents, due to their antisocial or criminal lifestyle, do not create basic conditions for raising children, cruel treatment of children and women is allowed, and children and adolescents are involved in criminal and antisocial activities.

The greatest danger in its own way negative impact children are represented by criminally immoral families. The lives of children in such families are often under threat due to abuse, drunken brawls, sexual promiscuity of parents, and lack of basic care for the maintenance of children. These are the so-called social orphans (orphans with living parents), whose upbringing should be entrusted to state and public care. Otherwise, the child will face early vagrancy, running away from home, and complete social insecurity both from abuse in the family and from the criminalizing influence of criminal organizations.

Asocial and immoral families, which with their specific socio-psychological characteristics require a different approach.

In practice, asocial-immoral families most often include families with overt acquisitive orientations, living according to the principle “the end justifies the means,” in which there are no moral norms and restrictions. Outwardly, the situation in these families may look quite decent, the standard of living is quite high, but spiritual values ​​are replaced exclusively by acquisitive orientations with very indiscriminate means of achieving them. Such families, despite their outward respectability, due to their distorted moral ideas, also have a direct influence on children, directly instilling in them antisocial views and value orientations.

Families with indirect influence - conflict-ridden and pedagogically untenable - require a different approach.

Conflict family, in which, for various psychological reasons, personal relationships between spouses are built not on the principle of mutual respect and understanding, but on the principle of conflict and alienation.

Pedagogically untenable, like conflict families, do not have a direct influence on children. The formation of antisocial orientations in children in these families occurs because, due to pedagogical errors and a difficult moral and psychological atmosphere, the educational role of the family is lost here, and in terms of the degree of its impact it begins to yield to other institutions of socialization that play an unfavorable role.

In practice, pedagogically unsuccessful families turn out to be the most difficult to identify the causes and unfavorable conditions that have had a negative impact on children, most often characterized by the most typical, incorrectly developed pedagogical styles in functionally unsuccessful families that cannot cope with raising children.

Permissive-indulgent style, when parents do not attach importance to their children’s misdeeds, do not see anything terrible in them, believe that “all children are like this,” or reason like this: “We ourselves were the same. A position of all-round defense, which can also be occupied by a certain part of parents, building their relationships with others according to the principle “our child is always right.” Such parents are very aggressive towards anyone who points out the wrong behavior of their children. Children from such families suffer from especially severe defects in moral consciousness; they are deceitful and cruel, and are very difficult to re-educate.

Demonstrative style, when parents, more often the mother, do not hesitate to complain to everyone about their child, talk at every corner about his misdeeds, clearly exaggerating the degree of their danger, declare out loud that the son is growing up as a “bandit” and so on. This leads to the child losing his modesty and feeling of remorse for his actions, removing internal control over his behavior, and becoming bitter towards adults and parents.

Pedantic and suspicious style, in which parents do not believe, do not trust their children, subject them to offensive total control, try to completely isolate them from peers, friends, strive to control them absolutely free time child, his range of interests, activities, communication.

Rigid authoritarian style, is typical for parents who abuse physical punishment. The father is more inclined to this style of relationship, striving to severely beat the child for any reason, who believes that there is only one effective educational method - physical violence. Children usually in such cases grow up aggressive, cruel, and strive to offend the weak, small, and defenseless.

Persuasive style, which, in contrast to the rigid authoritarian style, in this case, parents show complete helplessness in relation to their children, prefer to exhort, endlessly persuade, explain, and not apply any volitional influences or punishments.

Detached and indifferent style occurs, as a rule, in families where parents, in particular the mother, are absorbed in organizing their personal life. Having remarried, the mother finds neither time nor mental strength for her children from her first marriage, and is indifferent both to the children themselves and to their actions. Children are left to their own devices, feel superfluous, strive to be at home less, and perceive with pain the indifferent and distant attitude of the mother.

Parenting as a “family idol” often arises in relation to “late children”, when a long-awaited child is finally born to elderly parents or a single woman. In such cases, they are ready to pray for the child, all his requests and whims are fulfilled, extreme egocentrism and selfishness are formed, the first victims of which are the parents themselves.

Inconsistent style - when parents, especially the mother, do not have enough endurance and self-control to implement consistent educational tactics in the family. Sharp emotional changes occur in relationships with children - from punishment, tears, swearing to touching and affectionate manifestations, which leads to the loss of parental influence on children. The teenager becomes uncontrollable, unpredictable, disdainful of the opinions of elders and parents. We need a patient, firm, consistent line of behavior from a teacher or psychologist.

The listed examples do not exhaust the typical mistakes of family education. However, correcting them is much more difficult than detecting them, since pedagogical failures in family education most often have a protracted, chronic nature. Cold, alienated, and sometimes hostile relations between parents and children, which have lost their warmth and mutual understanding, are especially difficult to correct and have severe consequences. Mutual alienation, hostility, helplessness of parents in such cases sometimes reaches the point that they themselves turn to the police for help, commission on juvenile affairs, they ask that their son and daughter be sent to a special vocational school, to a special school. In a number of cases, this measure actually turns out to be justified, since all means have been exhausted at home, and the restructuring of relations, which did not occur in a timely manner, becomes practically impossible due to the aggravation of conflicts and mutual hostility.

The mistakes of family pedagogy are especially clearly manifested in the system of punishment and rewards practiced in the family. In these matters, special caution, prudence, and a sense of proportion, prompted by parental intuition and love, are needed. Both excessive connivance and excessive cruelty of parents are equally dangerous in raising a child.

The future of every person depends on the family in which he grew up. Development, education, health, thinking and much more are laid here. It depends only on the family how the child will grow up and what his views on life will be. All this comes primarily from the closest and dearest people - parents. They are the ones who should teach the child to love work, treat others well, nature, be independent and behave adequately.

Parents are the first people who pass on experience, knowledge and skills to their children. However, there are kids who know what a dysfunctional family is. Why is this happening? What should children from disadvantaged families do?

Family as a factor in education

Factors in upbringing can be not only positive, but also negative. Their difference is that in some families the child is controlled and pampered in moderation, raised both in severity and affection, not offended, protected, etc. Other families cannot behave this way. There are constant screams, quarrels, reproaches or assault.

Any child who grew up in cruel conditions does not understand or know another life. That is why he becomes a copy of his parents, continuing to build his life only as he saw for a long period. There are, of course, exceptions, however, according to statistics, this is very rare. Dysfunctional families need to be paid attention to by everyone around them. After all, perhaps the future of children depends on them.

The family is the first place where children acquire experience, skills and abilities. Therefore, parents need to pay attention, first of all, to themselves and their behavior, and not to the child, who is still only observing adults and learning good or bad from those closest and dearest to him.

Only by looking at mom or dad can children see positive and negative sides life. Therefore, everything depends not so much on the child, but on the parents.

It's not just adults who set bad examples. There are cases when children are overprotected, which causes the destruction of the family. Then the intervention of a psychologist is also necessary. Such children do not know how to live in society; they are accustomed to never being refused. Therefore, they have problems communicating not only with their peers, but also with others in general.

Reasons for the appearance of dysfunctional families

The characteristics of a dysfunctional family are an unfavorable psychological climate, underdevelopment of children, and violence against the weaker.

The reasons for this are different:

1. Unbearable living conditions, lack of finances, which leads to malnutrition and poor spiritual and physical development of the child.
2. There is no relationship between parents and children; they do not find a common language. Adults often use their power and try to physically influence the child. This leads to child aggression, isolation, and alienation. After such upbringing, children only develop anger and hatred towards their relatives.
3. Alcoholism and drug addiction in the family lead to abuse of younger ones, which is a bad example for others to follow. Often a child becomes like his parents. After all, he did not see any other attitude.

Thus, the factors influencing the emergence of a dysfunctional family are material and pedagogical failure, and a poor psychological climate.

Types of dysfunctional families

Families in which relationships and adequate behavior are disrupted are divided into certain types.

• Conflict. Here, parents and children constantly argue, do not know how to behave in society, and do not find compromises. Children are brought up only with the help of curses and assault.
• Immoral. These families contain alcoholics or drug addicts. They don't know what moral and family values ​​are. Children are often hurt and humiliated. Parents do not educate and do not provide the necessary conditions for normal development.
• Problematic. In such families, adults do not know how to raise a child. They have lost authority or are overprotective of their children. All this affects the child’s further instability in life.
• Crisis. There is trouble here due to several factors: divorce, death, teenage children, problems with finances or work. Having survived the crisis, the family recovers and continues to live a normal life.
• Antisocial. These are cases when parents, using their power, abuse their children. They forget about moral and moral values, do not know how to behave in in public places. Such parents often force their children to beg or steal because they do not want to go to work. There are no life rules for them.

Any of these categories obviously forms in children different types deviations. The result is deplorable: the child does not know how to behave with others, he does not know what love is, or a heart-to-heart conversation with family and friends. This is a dysfunctional family that needs attention.

Most often, in such families there is complete unsanitary conditions, the financial situation leaves much to be desired, children go hungry and suffer not only physically, but also psychologically. The characteristics of a dysfunctional family are disappointing, so it is necessary to pay attention to it and, if it is not too late, help get out of this situation.

How to identify a dysfunctional family

It is not always possible to immediately determine what kind of family this or that is. The children are well dressed, cultured, the parents seem normal. But not everyone knows what is going on in the soul of a child. That is why in modern world You can see a psychologist in every educational institution who works with children. And that is not all.

When a child goes to kindergarten or school for the first time, at the beginning school year information about each family is collected. That is, a commission is created that visits the apartment where the child lives. His living conditions are examined and communication is carried out with parents and children.

Adults (teachers or psychologists) conduct tests and talk with the child without relatives. Caregivers and teachers communicate with their students every day, especially if these children are from disadvantaged families.

Attention is always paid to the appearance or behavior of the child. Most often, these factors speak for themselves:

• The child comes to school every day tired and sleepy.
• The appearance leaves much to be desired.
• Frequent loss of consciousness due to malnutrition. Such children at school or kindergarten constantly want to eat in order to catch up.
• He is not tall enough for his age, his speech is poor (does not speak at all or very poorly, slurred, incomprehensible).
• Fine and gross motor skills are not working. Retardation in movements.
• He asks very much for attention and affection, it is clear that he does not receive enough of it.
• An aggressive and impulsive child suddenly changes into an apathetic and depressed one.
• Inability to communicate both with peers and with adults.
• Hard to learn.

Very often, children from disadvantaged families are subjected to physical violence. This is even easier to spot. As a rule, the boys show signs of beatings.

Even if they are not there, then it can be seen from the behavior of the children. They are afraid even of a wave of the hand of someone standing next to them; it seems to them that they are about to be beaten. Sometimes children transfer their anger and hatred to animals and do to them the same thing that mom or dad does to them at home.

Identifying dysfunctional families helps to get rid of addiction. The educator, teacher, psychologist turn to the head or director, and they, in turn, turn to the social service, where they must help adults and children.

Health of children from disadvantaged families

Emotional disorders, heart failure, behavioral disorders, psychological instability - all this appears in a child when proper education. Any unfavorable family situation destroys health. In rare cases, stress can be relieved, but more often than not, children grow up with various disabilities.

Some children suffer from pathologies in the future due to poor nutrition internal organs, others develop nervous diseases due to abuse. The list of diseases is huge, it’s impossible to list them all, but many people’s health deteriorates from an early age. That is why guardianship authorities and social services try to protect children.

As a result, such children have a damaged central nervous system since infancy. You can often find diseases such as cardiopathy, disorders of the muscular system, problems with the respiratory system, gastrointestinal tract, urinary tract, cerebral vessels and much more.

Every child who grows up in a dysfunctional family has a health problem. This is not only physical development, but also moral. These children eat poorly, sleep poorly, grow poorly, and very often suffer from colds. After all, their immunity leaves much to be desired.

Not only those children who grew up in families of alcoholics and drug addicts get sick. You can often find a mother who has suffered syphilis, hepatitis, HIV, etc. Surveys show that most children are carriers of these ailments. They are treated for a long time and not always successfully, since such diseases are congenital.

Problems in dysfunctional families

What to do if it is dangerous for a child to live in the depths of his family? Of course, he is sent for a certain time to inpatient department special institution. He stays there while social workers work with his parents and try to help.

There are a number of problems for both children and parents. Very often you can see street children who look like homeless people. In essence, this is how it is. After all, it is easier for a child to spend time outside. There they are not beaten or offended, which is very important for children at any age.

However, there is a basic problem that any social worker is powerless to face. In many families, their dysfunction is a normal phenomenon that has become chronic. Mom, dad or other relatives don't want to change anything. They are happy with everything. Therefore, not a single person will be able to help such a family, since its members do not want this. In order for something to happen, you need to really want it. The problems of dysfunctional families must be solved immediately after they are identified, and not wait for adults and children to come to their senses themselves.

The most acute problem appears when a child grew up in such a family; he does not know another life, therefore, following the example of his parents, he continues to behave exactly the same as them. This is the worst thing. This is why dysfunctional families progress. There are more and more of them every day.

The difficulty of working with dysfunctional families

Very often, social services find it difficult to work with families where trouble has been identified. First of all, it is necessary to pay attention to the closedness and isolation of these people. When psychologists or teachers begin to communicate with adults and children, they see that they do not make contact. The deeper their dysfunction, the more difficult the conversation becomes.

Parents of dysfunctional families are hostile to those people who try to teach them about life. They consider themselves self-sufficient, adults and not in need of support. Many people do not understand that they need help. As a rule, parents themselves cannot get out of such problems. However, they are not ready to admit that they are defenseless.

If adults refuse help, then they are forced to listen to others with the help of not only social services, but also the police, guardianship authorities, psychiatrists and medical centers. Then parents are forced to undergo treatment, and often they can no longer refuse. In such cases, children are taken to orphanages. The team continues to work separately with adults and children.

Social assistance to disadvantaged families

People who are in trouble life situation, need help. However, not every person admits this. The most important task of social services is to provide the family with everything they need as much as possible. Some need psychological support, others need material support, and others need medical support.

Before you come to help, you need to determine whether this is really a dysfunctional family. For this purpose, workers of various social services begin their work with adults and children.

If something was suspected, but no specific facts were revealed, then it is necessary to turn to the neighbors, who, most likely, will tell everything that is necessary about this family.

Then experts pay attention to educational measures for children. Consider the positive and negative aspects. Social workers should be tactful, courteous and friendly. This is necessary so that all family members open up to them as much as possible.

If a family has problems due to lack of finances, then an application is submitted to consider assistance in this direction. Drug addicts and alcoholics are forcibly sent to treatment, and meanwhile children are taken to Orphanage for the temporary care of the state.

If there is abuse in the family, then psychological intervention is necessary. Professionals often achieve positive results if abuse is identified early.

After forced measures to work with the family, social service workers analyze the effectiveness of rehabilitation. They spend some time observing the parents and the child, their relationships, health, development and work activities.

Help for disadvantaged families is very necessary for a long time. If you involve the whole team: psychologists, teachers, police and social services, then you can identify why this family has a problem. Only then is it possible to help and support these people.

There is no need to refuse help, because this moment- this is a way out difficult situation. Many families are finding themselves again. Trying to lead healthy image life and teach their children to it.

Working with children from socially disadvantaged families

You can often observe children who have poor academic performance, low self-esteem, aggressiveness, shyness and bad behavior. This is due to conflicts in families, neglect, physical or psychological violence. If teachers notice this in their students, it is necessary to notify certain services that deal with such issues.

Dysfunctional families at school are a big problem. After all, children learn not only the bad, but also the good. Therefore, it is necessary to monitor a child who does not know how to behave and communicate normally. After all, he will teach other children everything that he can do.

Such children need support, kindness, affection, attention. They need warmth and comfort. Therefore, we cannot turn a blind eye to this phenomenon. The educator or teacher must act in the interests of the child. After all, there is no one else to help him.

Very often you can observe teenagers who behave horribly only because they understand that they will not get anything for it. Why does theft or drunkenness begin at 14, or even 12? These children do not know that there is another life where they can be more comfortable.

A teenager from a dysfunctional family becomes the same as his parents. Most often this happens because such a family was not discovered in time, social services did not know about it and were unable to help at the right time. That is why we should expect that another equally dysfunctional family will appear soon. A child will grow up in it who will not learn anything good.

All people who see that children from socially disadvantaged families are nearby are obliged to pay attention to this Special attention and report to special services.

Conclusion

After the above, we can conclude: if socially disadvantaged families are identified in time, then serious problems with both adults and children can be avoided in the future.

Initially, the condition of the parents and their child is determined. Experts determine the characteristics of behavior, learning, socialization and much more. If necessary, assistance is offered to families. If they refuse it, then coercive measures have to be applied to the parents, as well as their children. This could be treatment, training, etc.

At the first stage, specialists pay attention to living conditions: where children play, perform homework whether they have their own corner for relaxation and entertainment. At the second stage, they look at life support and health: are there any benefits or subsidies, what is the state of health of each family member.

The third stage is educational. Here attention is focused on the emotions or experiences of both the family as a whole and each of its members individually. If physical or psychological trauma is detected in children, it is easier to eradicate it at the initial stage of development.

At the fourth stage, attention is paid to the education of children. How they study, how well their parents monitor this, what is their academic performance. To do this, a cross-section of knowledge is carried out, where omissions in studies are identified, then additional individual lessons are offered for those students who do not keep up with their studies. school curriculum. In order for children to enjoy studying, it is necessary to encourage them with certificates and praise.

First of all, you should organize the children's leisure time. To do this, they need to go to clubs: dancing, drawing, chess, and so on. Of course, it is necessary to control their visits.

The situations of dysfunctional families are varied. Some suffer due to frequent conflicts, others experience financial difficulties, and others are addicted to alcohol and drugs. All these families need help. That's why they come to them social workers, police, guardianship and trusteeship services. The whole team tries to help those in need.

However, it is always necessary to remember that it is much easier to achieve results when adults and children themselves want to change their lives for the better. If you have to forcefully work with your family, then the help will be delayed for a long period. That is why people should be dealt with by a qualified specialist who can easily find a common language with both parents and children.

In older preschool age (5.5 - 7 years) there is rapid development and restructuring in the work of all physiological systems the child’s body: nervous, cardiovascular, endocrine, musculoskeletal. The child quickly gains height and weight, and body proportions change. Significant changes in higher nervous activity occur. According to its characteristics, the brain six year old child more closely approximates those of the adult brain. The child’s body in the period from 5.5 to 7 years indicates readiness to move to a higher level age development, which involves more intense mental and physical stress associated with systematic schooling.

Senior preschool age plays a special role in mental development child: during this period of life, new psychological mechanisms of activity and behavior begin to form.

At this age, the foundations of the future personality are laid: a stable structure of motives is formed; new social needs arise (the need for respect and recognition of an adult, the desire to perform important “adult” things for others, to be an “adult”; the need for peer recognition: older preschoolers actively show interest in collective forms of activity and at the same time - the desire in games and other activities to be the first, the best; there is a need to act in accordance with established rules and ethical standards, etc.); a new (indirect) type of motivation arises - the basis arbitrary behavior; the child learns a certain system of social values; moral norms and rules of behavior in society, in some situations he can already restrain his immediate desires and act not as he wants at the moment, but as he “should” (I want to watch “cartoons”, but my mother asks me to play with my younger brother or go to the store; I don’t want to put away the toys, but this is the duty of the duty officer, which means it must be done, etc.).

Older preschoolers cease to be naive and spontaneous, as before, and become less understandable to others. The reason for such changes is the differentiation (separation) in the child’s consciousness of his internal and external life.

Until the age of seven, the child acts in accordance with the experiences that are relevant to him at the moment. His desires and the expression of these desires in behavior (i.e. internal and external) represent an inseparable whole. The behavior of a child at these ages can be roughly described by the scheme: “if he wanted, he did.” Naivety and spontaneity indicate that the child is the same on the outside as he is on the inside; his behavior is understandable and easily “read” by others. The loss of spontaneity and naivety in the behavior of an older preschooler means the inclusion in his actions of a certain intellectual moment, which, as it were, wedges itself between the child’s experience and action. His behavior becomes conscious and can be described by another scheme: “wanted - realized - did.” Awareness is included in all areas of the life of an older preschooler: he begins to become aware of the attitude of those around him and his attitude towards them and towards himself, his individual experience, the results of his own activities, etc.

One of the most important achievements of the senior preschool age is the awareness of one’s social “I”, the formation of an internal social position. IN early periods development, children are not yet aware of what place they occupy in life. Therefore, they lack a conscious desire to change. If the new needs that arise in children of these ages do not find fulfillment within the framework of the lifestyle they lead, this causes unconscious protest and resistance.

In older preschool age, the child first becomes aware of the discrepancy between the position he occupies among other people and what his real capabilities and desires are. A clearly expressed desire appears to take a new, more “adult” position in life and to perform new activities that are important not only for himself, but also for other people. The child seems to “fall out” of his usual life and the pedagogical system applied to him, loses interest in preschool types activities. In conditions of general schooling this is primarily manifested in the desire of children for the social status of a schoolchild and for learning as a new socially significant activity (“At school they are big, but in kindergarten- only kids"), as well as in the desire to carry out certain instructions from adults, take on some of their responsibilities, and become a helper in the family.

The appearance of such aspiration is prepared by the entire course of the child’s mental development and occurs at the level when it becomes possible for him to recognize himself not only as a subject of action, but also as a subject in the system of human relations. If the transition to a new social position and new activity does not occur in a timely manner, then the child develops a feeling of dissatisfaction.

The child begins to realize his place among other people, he develops an internal social position and a desire for a new social role that meets his needs. The child begins to realize and generalize his experiences, a stable self-esteem and a corresponding attitude towards success and failure in activities are formed (some people tend to strive for success and high achievements, while for others the most important thing is to avoid failures and unpleasant experiences).

The word “self-awareness” in psychology usually means the system of ideas, images and assessments that exist in a person’s mind that relate to himself. In self-awareness, two interrelated components are distinguished: content - knowledge and ideas about oneself (Who am I?) - and evaluative, or self-esteem (What am I?).

In the process of development, the child forms not only an idea of ​​his inherent qualities and capabilities (the image of the real “I” - “what I am”), but also an idea of ​​what he should be, how others want to see him (the image of the ideal "I" - "what I would like to be"). The coincidence of the real “I” with the ideal is considered an important indicator of emotional well-being.

The evaluative component of self-awareness reflects a person’s attitude towards himself and his qualities, his self-esteem.

Positive self-esteem is based on self-esteem, a sense of self-worth and a positive attitude towards everything that is included in one’s self-image. Negative self-esteem expresses self-rejection, self-denial, and a negative attitude towards one’s personality.

In older preschool age, the beginnings of reflection appear - the ability to analyze one’s activities and correlate one’s opinions, experiences and actions with the opinions and assessments of others, therefore the self-esteem of children of older preschool age becomes more realistic, in familiar situations and familiar types of activities it approaches adequate. In an unfamiliar situation and unusual activities, their self-esteem is inflated.

Low self-esteem in preschool children is considered a deviation in personality development.

Peculiarities of behavior of children of senior preschool age with different types self-esteem:

Children with inadequately high self-esteem are very mobile, unrestrained, quickly switch from one type of activity to another, and often do not finish the job they start. They are not inclined to analyze the results of their actions and deeds; they try to solve any, including very complex, problems “immediately”. They are not aware of their failures. These children tend to be demonstrative and dominant. They strive to always be visible, advertise their knowledge and skills, try to stand out from other guys, and attract attention. If they cannot provide themselves with the full attention of an adult through success in activities, then they do this by violating the rules of behavior. During classes, for example, they can shout out from their seats, comment out loud on the teacher’s actions, make faces, etc.

These are, as a rule, outwardly attractive children. They strive for leadership, but may not be accepted in their peer group, since they are focused mainly “on themselves” and are not inclined to cooperate.

Children with inadequately high self-esteem take the teacher’s praise as something taken for granted. Its absence can cause them bewilderment, anxiety, resentment, sometimes irritation and tears. They react to reproach in different ways. Some children ignore critical remarks addressed to them, others respond to them with increased emotionality (screaming, tears, resentment towards the teacher). Some children are equally attracted to both praise and blame, the main thing for them is to be the center of attention of an adult.

Children with inadequately high self-esteem are insensitive to failures, they are characterized by a desire for success and high level claims.

Children with adequate self-esteem tend to analyze the results of their activities and try to find out the reasons for their mistakes. They are self-confident, active, balanced, quickly switch from one activity to another, and persistent in achieving their goals. They strive to cooperate, help others, are sociable and friendly. In a situation of failure, they try to find out the reason and choose tasks of somewhat less complexity (but not the easiest). Success in an activity stimulates their desire to attempt a more difficult task. These children tend to strive for success.

Children with low self-esteem are indecisive, uncommunicative, distrustful, silent, and constrained in their movements. They are very sensitive, ready to cry at any moment, do not strive to cooperate and are not able to stand up for themselves. These children are anxious, unsure of themselves, and find it difficult to engage in activities. They refuse in advance to solve problems that seem difficult to them, but with the emotional support of an adult they easily cope with them. A child with low self-esteem appears slow. He does not begin the task for a long time, fearing that he did not understand what needs to be done and will do everything incorrectly; tries to guess whether the adult is happy with him. The more significant the activity, the more difficult it is for him to cope with it. Yes, on open classes these children perform significantly worse than on normal days.

Children with low self-esteem tend to avoid failures, so they have little initiative and choose obviously simple tasks. Failure in an activity most often leads to abandonment.

These children tend to have low social status in a peer group, they fall into the category of outcasts; no one wants to be friends with them. Outwardly, these are most often unattractive children.

The reasons for the individual characteristics of self-esteem in older preschool age are due to the unique combination of developmental conditions for each child.

In some cases, inadequately inflated self-esteem in older preschool age is due to an uncritical attitude towards children on the part of adults, poverty of individual experience and experience of communicating with peers, insufficient development of the ability to understand oneself and the results of one’s activities, and a low level of affective generalization and reflection. In others, it is formed as a result of excessively high demands on the part of adults, when the child receives only negative assessments of his actions. Here self-esteem performs a protective function. The child’s consciousness seems to “turn off”: he does not hear critical comments addressed to him that are traumatic, does not notice failures that are unpleasant for him, and is not inclined to analyze their causes.

Somewhat inflated self-esteem is most characteristic of children on the threshold of 6-7 years. They are already inclined to analyze their experience and listen to adults’ assessments. In conditions of habitual activity - in a game, on sports activities etc. - they can already realistically assess their capabilities, their self-esteem becomes adequate. In an unfamiliar situation, especially in educational activities Children cannot yet correctly evaluate themselves; self-esteem in this case is overestimated. It is believed that the inflated self-esteem of a preschooler (in the presence of attempts to analyze himself and his activities) carries a positive aspect: the child strives for success, actively acts and, therefore, has the opportunity to clarify his ideas about himself in the process of activity.

Low self-esteem at this age is much less common; it is based not on a critical attitude towards oneself, but on a lack of confidence in one’s abilities. Parents of such children, as a rule, place excessive demands on them, use only negative assessments, and do not take into account their individual characteristics and capabilities. According to a number of authors, the manifestation of low self-esteem in the activities and behavior of children in the seventh year of life is an alarming symptom and may indicate deviations in personal development.

Self-esteem plays important role in the regulation of human activity and behavior. Depending on how an individual evaluates his own qualities and capabilities, he accepts certain goals of activity for himself, develops one or another attitude towards successes and failures, one or another level of aspirations

child dysfunctional family social

The influence of dysfunctional families on the development, socialization and upbringing of a child

Many scientists have studied the process of socialization of the individual at different stages of the development of society. Among them are Z. Freud, J. Piaget, N.P. Dubinina. Each of them, in accordance with their concept, gave different definitions of the socialization process. The psychological dictionary gives the following definition: “socialization” is an evolutionary process, focused on the result of the subject’s mastering and recreating social experience, which the subject himself carries out in the factors of communication, in individual activity. (41., p. 666.).

Socialization is the process of an individual’s assimilation of patterns of behavior, social norms and values ​​necessary for his successful functioning in a given society. Everyone around the individual takes part in the process of socialization: family, neighbors, peers, school and the media.

Family occupies a special place in the life of every person. A child grows up in a family, and from the first years of his life he learns the norms of community life, human relationships, and his family. Having become an adult, the child follows the rules that were in the family of his parents.

The family is considered as the smallest primary unit of society, as a social unit. The state of the state depends on the state of the family, which is influenced by all changes occurring in society. A prominent domestic sociologist A.G. Kharchev gives the following definition of family: “A family is a small social group connected by marriage relations, a common life and mutual moral responsibility to society for the reproduction of the population.” This definition is practically universally accepted in Russian science.

The main function of the family is reproductive, biological reproduction of the population (A.G. Kharchev). The following family functions are also distinguished:

• 1. Educational - socialization of the younger generation,
• 2. Household - maintaining the physical condition of the family, caring for children and the elderly;
• 3. Economic - obtaining material resources from some family members for others, material support for minors;
• 4. Social control - responsibility of family members for the behavior of its members in society, in various fields of activity, of the older generation for the younger;
• 5. Spiritual communication - spiritual enrichment of each family member;
• 6. Social status - providing family members with a certain social position in society;
• 7. Leisure - organization of rational leisure, development of mutual enrichment of the interests of each family member;
• 8. Emotional - providing psychological protection for each family member.
• 9. The social function of the family is that it, as the main social unit of society, unites people, regulates the education of a generation, cognitive, labor activity personality, introduces the child into society, it is in the family that the child receives social education, becomes an individual, strengthens the health of children, develops their inclinations and abilities; cares about education, development of the mind, education of a citizen; decides their fate and future; teaches the child to work, helps to choose a profession, prepares for independent family life, teaches to continue the traditions of his family.

A family is a “house” that unites people, where the foundation of human relationships and the primary socialization of the individual are laid.

Social status is very important for a family, which is a combination of the individual characteristics of family members with its structural and functional parameters, characterizing the process of adaptation of the family in society.

A family can have at least four statuses:

• · Socio-economic;
• · Social - psychological;
• · Sociocultural;
• · Situational - role-playing.

Family social adaptation includes the following components;

The first is financial situation. To assess the material well-being of a family, consisting of monetary and property security, several quantitative and qualitative criteria are used: the level of family income, its living conditions, the subject environment, as well as the socio-demographic characteristics of its members, which constitutes the socio-economic status of the family;

The second - the psychological climate of the family - is a more or less stable emotional mood, which develops as a result of the moods of family members, their emotional experiences, relationships with each other, other people, and work. As indicators of the state of the psychological climate, the following are distinguished: the degree of emotional comfort, the level of anxiety, the degree of mutual understanding, respect, support, help, empathy.

The third is sociocultural adaptation. When determining the general level of culture of a family, it is necessary to take into account the level of education of its older members, since it is recognized as one of the determining factors in raising children, as well as the immediate everyday and behavioral culture of family members.

The fourth is situational role, which is associated with the family’s attitude towards the child. In the case of a constructive attitude towards the child, high culture and activity of the family in solving his problems, the situational role status of the family is high, if in the attitude towards the child there is an emphasis on his problems, then it is average. In case of ignoring the child’s problems and, especially, a negative attitude towards him, which, as a rule, is combined with low culture and activity of the family, the situational role status is low.

The complex typology provides for the identification of four categories of families, differing in level social adaptation(from high to medium, low and extremely low):

Prosperous families - successfully cope with their functions, practically do not need the support of a social teacher, because due to adaptive abilities, which are based on material, psychological and other internal resources, they quickly adapt to the needs of their child and successfully solve the problems of his upbringing and development;

Families “at risk” - characterized by the presence of some deviation from the norm (for example, single-parent or low-income family), and reducing the adaptive abilities of these families. They cope with the tasks of raising a child with great effort, so the social teacher needs to monitor their condition;

Dysfunctional families - have a low social status in any area of ​​life. They cannot cope with the functions assigned to them, their adaptive abilities are significantly reduced, the process of family education of a child proceeds with great difficulties, slowly and with little results. This type of family requires active and usually long-term support from a social educator;

Asocial families need fundamental changes. In these families, parents lead an immoral, contradictory lifestyle, living conditions do not meet basic sanitary and hygienic standards, and as a rule, no one is involved in raising children. Children find themselves neglected, half-starved, developmentally delayed, and victims of violence. The work of a social educator with these families should be carried out in close contact with law enforcement agencies, as well as with guardianship and trusteeship authorities.

Taking into account all the factors that have a negative impact on the development of a child’s personality, dysfunctional families can be divided into several groups, each of which includes several varieties. Families can be divided into functionally solvent and functionally insolvent (“risk groups”). Among functionally insolvent families, i.e. of families that cannot cope with raising children, from 50 to 60% are families characterized by unfavorable psychological factors, the so-called conflict families, where the relationship between spouses is chronically aggravated, and pedagogically unsuccessful families with a low psychological and pedagogical culture, an incorrect style of child-parent relationships . A wide variety of incorrect styles of parent-child relationships are observed: rigid-authoritarian, pedantic-suspicious, exhorting, inconsistent, distant-indifferent, permissive-condescending, etc. As a rule, parents with socio-psychological and psychological-pedagogical problems are aware of their difficulties, strive to seek help from teachers and psychologists, because they are not always able to understand their mistakes, the characteristics of their child, rebuild the style of relationships in the family, and get out of protracted intrafamily or other conflict.

At the same time, there are a significant number of families who are not aware of their problems, the conditions in which are so difficult that they threaten the life and health of their children. These are, as a rule, families with criminal risk factors, where parents, due to their antisocial or criminal lifestyle, do not create basic conditions for raising children, cruel treatment of children and women is allowed, and children and adolescents are involved in criminal and antisocial activities. It is obvious that children from such families need measures of social and legal protection, assistance from police officers, local police officers, and representatives of law enforcement agencies.

Criminally immoral families pose the greatest danger in terms of their negative impact on children. The lives of children in such families are often under threat due to lack of basic care for their maintenance, abuse, drunken brawls, and sexual promiscuity of parents. These are the so-called social orphans, whose upbringing should be entrusted to state and public care.

Considering the acute social disadvantage and criminality that characterize these families, social work they should be dealt with jointly with PDN employees, concentrating on such forms as social patronage and socio-legal protection of children.

In a conflict family, for various psychological reasons, personal relationships between spouses are built not on the principle of mutual respect and relationships, but on the principle of conflict and alienation. Families with conflict can be noisy. scandalous, where raised voices and irritation become the norm in the relationship between spouses, and “quiet”, where the relationship between spouses is characterized by complete alienation, the desire to avoid any interaction. In all cases, a conflicting family negatively affects the formation of the child’s personality and can cause various antisocial manifestations.

When working with conflicting families, individual work is needed to improve the relationship between spouses, which requires great tact, wisdom, good knowledge of life, and professionalism.

Also, the most common are pedagogically insolvent families in which, under relatively favorable conditions, relationships with children are formed incorrectly, serious pedagogical miscalculations are made, leading to various asocial manifestations in the consciousness and behavior of children.

Pedagogically insolvent seven first of all need psychological and pedagogical correction of the style of family education and the nature of the relationship between parents and children as the main factors determining the indirect desocializing influence. This help can be provided by psychologists, as well as social educators and experienced teachers who know well individual characteristics children and adolescents, the conditions of their family upbringing and have sufficient psychological and pedagogical preparedness.

A dysfunctional family greatly influences the development and upbringing of a child. The most important thing in development and education is family education. Family education is a controlled system of relationships between parents and children, and the leading role in it belongs to parents. It is they who need to know which forms of relationships with their own children contribute to the harmonious development of the child’s psyche and personal qualities, and which, on the contrary, prevent the formation of normal behavior in them and, for the most part, lead to educational difficulties and personality deformation.

The wrong choice of forms and methods in raising a child, as a rule, leads to the development of unhealthy ideas, habits and needs in the child, which put them in an abnormal relationship with society. Quite often, parents set themselves the task of achieving the child’s obedience. Therefore, they often don’t even try to understand the child, but try to teach, scold, and read long notations as much as possible, forgetting that notation is not a lively heart-to-heart conversation, but an imposition of truths that adults seem indisputable, but are often not perceived and accepted by children. are not accepted because they are simply not understood. This type of education gives formal satisfaction to the parents and is completely useless for raising children in this way.

A specific feature of family education is most clearly manifested in a number of difficulties that parents face and the mistakes that they make, which cannot but have a negative impact on the formation of the personality of their children. First of all, this concerns the style of family education, the choice of which is most often determined by the personal views of parents on the problems of development and personal development of their children.

The style of education depends not only on sociocultural rules and norms, presented in the form of national traditions in education, but also on the pedagogical position of the parent regarding how child-parent relationships should be built in the family, on the formation of what personal traits and qualities in children should be directed towards educational influences.

In general, the style of family education in no way motivates the child to improve, but only undermines the main goal - to help him learn to solve problems. The parent will only achieve that the child will feel rejected. And when a child experiences negative feelings towards himself, he becomes withdrawn and does not want to communicate with others or analyze his feelings and behavior.

At the same time, among the unfavorable factors of family education, they note, first of all, such as single-parent families, immoral lifestyle of parents, asocial antisocial views and orientations of parents, their low general educational level, pedagogical failure of the family, emotional conflict relationships in the family.

Typical mistakes in raising a child are much more difficult to correct than to detect, since pedagogical failures in family education in dysfunctional families are protracted. Cold, alienated, and sometimes hostile relations between parents and children, which have lost their warmth and mutual understanding, are especially difficult to correct and have serious consequences. Mutual alienation, hostility, and helplessness of parents in such cases sometimes reaches the point that they themselves turn to the police, the commission for minors for help, and ask that their son or daughter be sent to a special vocational school, to a special school. In a number of cases, this measure actually turns out to be justified, since all means have been exhausted at home, and the restructuring of relations, which did not occur in a timely manner, practically becomes impossible due to the aggravation of conflicts and mutual hostility.

The mistakes of family pedagogy are especially clearly manifested in the system of punishment and rewards practiced in the family. In these matters, special caution, prudence, and a sense of proportion, prompted by parental intuition and love, are needed. Both excessive connivance and excessive cruelty of parents are equally dangerous in the upbringing and development of a child.

In general, trouble in the family should be prevented long before the child comes to the attention of prevention officials.

Thus, a family with a clear form of dysfunction is that they manifest themselves in several areas of the family’s life, or exclusively at the level of interpersonal relationships, which leads to an unfavorable psychological climate in the family group. Typically, in a family with a clear form of dysfunction, a child experiences physical and emotional rejection from his parents. As a result of these unfavorable intrafamily relationships, the child develops a feeling of inadequacy, shame for himself and his parents in front of others, fear and pain for his present and future.

In this work, a study was conducted of the emotional state and level of speech development in older preschoolers from disadvantaged families.

Most preschool children spend most of their time in kindergarten. It is here, and especially in the older preschool age, that the child’s sphere of activity expands, the circle of significant and less significant ones grows. significant people, mastering new social relations. Exactly kindergarten is a kind of step for the child, leading the child into a complex, changing and contradictory social world. And how much a child will be able to express himself in society in the future largely depends on his emotional well-being, which is actively formed in preschool age.

The emotional sphere of a person, especially in childhood, is one of the main regulatory systems that ensure active forms of life activity of a developing organism, which largely determines the nature of the child’s mental development. A. Freud noted that a child whose “I” can cope with external and internal discomfort, protect itself and make decisions independently can be considered truly healthy and prosperous.

In older preschool age, there is an active consolidation of emotions manifested in younger preschool age, as well as the development and comprehension of new emotions previously unknown to the child. And it is very important to understand that incorrect emotional education will certainly lead to the formation of deviations and emotional distress.

In older preschool age, social motives begin to form. That is, if previously the child was more fixated on his own “I”, at an older age the activation of the transfer of his “I” to society occurs ( children's group, teacher, parents). Of course, this process is observed in more early age, but we are talking about the children themselves understanding the process.

In older children, emotions begin to arise not as an instant reaction to a situation, but through comprehension of the situation itself. The child’s feelings become deeper in semantic content. Children begin to form emotional anticipation, which makes him worry about the possible results of his activities, anticipate the reaction to his behavior from other people, which in turn leads to the expansion of his emotional world. So, if the child was previously happy that he received the desired result, now he is happy that he can get this result.

Senior preschooler, unlike younger preschooler learns to manage his emotions by influencing himself with words. So, if for children 3-5 years old the characteristic reaction to pain is tears, then many older children try to restrain themselves. For example, a boy is smeared with iodine on a scratch and asked whether it hurts or not, to which he replies that men don’t cry.

In older preschool age, the development of communication with adults and peers, the development of forms of collective activity lead to the further development of sympathy, empathy, and the formation of camaraderie. Higher feelings are intensively developed: moral, aesthetic, cognitive. So, if older preschoolers evaluate an action from the point of view of its immediate meaning for the people around them (“You can’t offend little ones, otherwise they might fall”), then older preschoolers generalize the assessment (“You can’t offend little ones, because they are weaker”).

At 5-7 years old, a child begins to actively develop a sense of responsibility towards many adults and peers, as well as towards young children. The child begins to realize the necessity and obligation of the rules of social behavior and subordinates his actions to them. The ability to self-esteem increases. Violation of rules and unworthy actions cause awkwardness, guilt, embarrassment, and anxiety.

Mom was picking up Nikita K. (5 years 9 months) from kindergarten. The teacher told her about the boy's disobedience. A dialogue took place between mother and son:

Mom: Nikita, shame on you! I’m not pleased to listen to all this, I’m ashamed of you! Why are you behaving so badly?

Nikita cried: Leave me here! Why do you need such a son?! I'd rather be here than for you to be ashamed of me!

By the age of 7, the sense of responsibility extends to a wider circle of people, even to those with whom the child does not interact.

So, as noted above, in fact, emotional distress refers to the child’s negative well-being. It is caused by many reasons. The main reason dissatisfaction with communication with adults and peers appears. Lack of warmth, affection, discord between family members, lack of close emotional contacts with parents - all this leads to the formation of anxious and pessimistic personal expectations in the child.

As observations have shown, the first signs of emotional distress are the child’s uncertainty, a feeling of insecurity, and sometimes fear due to the predicted negative attitude of an adult. A negative attitude from an adult provokes stubbornness in the child and unwillingness to obey the demands of the parents. And vice versa, close, emotionally rich contacts, in which the child is the object of a friendly but demanding evaluative attitude, forms in him confidently optimistic personal expectations. Such relationships are characterized by the experience of possible success, praise, and approval from adults.

Emotional distress can be caused by difficulty communicating with children. IN in this case, as evidenced by the results of observations, children exhibit two types of behavior:

• 1. Imbalance, slight excitability. Uncontrollable emotions often cause disorganization of children's activities. Conflicts with peers are accompanied by emotions (outburst of anger, resentment, tears, rudeness, fighting, etc.). Associated vegetative changes are observed (redness of the skin, increased sweating, etc.). Negative emotional reactions can be caused by both serious and minor reasons, but while they flare up quickly, they quickly fade away.
• 2. A persistent negative attitude towards communication. Resentment, discontent, and hostility remain in the memory of children for a long time, but they are more restrained. Their reaction is isolation, avoidance of communication. Emotional distress in this case is often associated with a reluctance to attend kindergarten. All this can lead to internal personality conflict.

Another reason that causes emotional distress is the individual characteristics of the child, the specifics of his inner world (impressionability, susceptibility, leading to the emergence of fears).

The causes of children's fears are very diverse. Their appearance directly depends on the child’s life experience, the degree of development of independence, imagination, emotional sensitivity, tendency to worry, anxiety, timidity, and uncertainty. Most often, fears are generated by pain, the instinct of self-preservation.

At 5-6 years old, fears become most diverse. These fears often turn into obsessive forms close to neurotic states. Fears often cause incorrect behavior in adults and are the cause of incorrect upbringing. The child must receive the correct answer to what scares him, otherwise he himself will look for an answer that can deepen his fear even more by constructing fairy-tale images. Support from adults is important here, for example, entering a dark room with the child.

An important indicator of emotional deviation in an older preschooler can be the lack of emotional decentration (emotional experiences do not extend to others, but are associated only with one’s own “I”). At the same time, the child is not able to empathize with others either in a real situation or when perceiving works of art, remaining indifferent regardless of the meaning of the events happening to the characters.

Lack of emotional decentration is a more reliable indicator of emotional distress than inertia or excessive excitability.

Another indicator of emotional distress at this age stage is the absence of emotions associated with space-time displacement. Without the ability to analyze the past, shame cannot arise, and without the ability to foresee the future, the development of emotional anticipation is impossible.

For children from 5 to 7 years old, such deviations in emotional development such as selfishness, egocentrism, rudeness, indifference to the grief of others, excessive touchiness, indecisiveness, conflict, the inability to express an emotional state other than with anger (hitting, pushing, etc.), aggressiveness, irritability. And it should be noted that, as a rule, certain deviations are observed in almost all children at this age.

But it is necessary to understand that the presence of certain deviations in the emotional development of a child is not in itself evidence of emotional distress. Emotional distress is characterized by a combination of certain indicators and, ultimately, by the child’s behavior, which takes on a pronounced character, different from the behavior of other children.

The purpose of the experiment is analysis emotional sphere in the study group. One of the indicators of emotional distress in children is excessive aggressiveness.

With the participation of the group teacher, questionnaire forms were filled out (Appendix 1). The results of the survey are presented in Table 1.

Scoring is carried out as follows.

The completed cards are collected, and summation occurs for each indicator. The result is entered into the table (Table 1). When calculating the total score, you need to multiply the contents of the cell by the score.

In addition, to identify children’s ability to assess their own emotions and the emotions of their peers, a free-form survey was conducted. The emotional sphere is an important component in the development of preschoolers and older preschoolers, since no communication or interaction will be effective if its participants are not able, firstly, to “read” the emotional state of another, and secondly, to manage their emotions. Understanding your emotions and feelings is also an important point in developing the personality of a growing person.

Despite all its apparent simplicity, recognition and transmission of emotions is a rather complex process that requires the child to have certain knowledge and a certain level of development. The survey showed that children of senior preschool age are generally able to correctly perceive a person’s emotional state (95% of the children surveyed generally correctly identify the emotions of other people). At the same time, children quite easily distinguish between joy, admiration, and fun and find it difficult to recognize sadness (half of the surveyed preschoolers correctly named this emotion), fear (only 7% of children gave correct answers), and surprise (only 6%). Children, first of all, pay attention to facial expressions, without attaching importance to pantomime (posture, gestures).

To more fully assess the emotional state of children, it is necessary to identify the characteristics of relationships in the family. For these purposes, you can use the “Family Kinetic Drawing” test. The child is asked to draw his family so that all its members are busy with something. However, the concept of “family” is not explained. The child must draw as he himself understands. The test is carried out individually with each child. During drawing, observation is carried out. All spontaneous statements of the child are recorded, his facial expressions and gestures are noted, and the drawing sequence is also recorded.

After the drawing is completed, a conversation is held with the child according to the following scheme:

• 1. Who is drawn in the picture;
• 2. Where family members work or study;
• 3. How household responsibilities are distributed in the family;
• 4. What is the child’s relationship with other family members.

Qualitative analysis of drawings is carried out taking into account their formal and meaningful aspects. Informative formal features of a drawing are considered, for example, how the drawing is located on a sheet of paper, the proportions of individual parts of the drawing, its size, coloring style, etc. Considering large volume, qualitative analysis in course work does not appear. Further, only a quantitative assessment of testing will be given.

Next, it is necessary to determine the social circle of the tested children. This will help identify whether children's emotional distress is caused by communication problems. For these purposes, you can use the “Two Houses” technique. The purpose of the study is to determine the child’s circle of significant communication.

The study is carried out strictly individually. First, it is briefly discussed which house the child lives in. Then the child is asked: “Now let’s build a beautiful, red, beautiful house for you.” And a beautiful red house is drawn on paper, while its attractiveness is constantly emphasized.

Then it says: “Now let’s inhabit this beautiful house. Of course, you will live in it, because we built it for you.” The child's name is written near the house. “Here, in this house, anyone you want to settle next to you can live. Settle whoever you want." When a child names a new name, it is necessary to find out in detail who he means.

Having registered two or three “new settlers” in a red house, another house is drawn nearby - a black one. But there is no need to characterize this house, much less say that it is bad. The child is told: “Maybe you don’t want to put someone next to you in the red house, but they need to live somewhere.” If the black house is not filled with “tenants,” then the child is gently forced to do so: “So, will this house remain empty?” If someone from the child’s real environment is not mentioned at all, then you can ask the child: “Oh, but we didn’t place the teacher (or grandmother) anywhere at all. But she also needs to live somewhere.”

The analysis of the results is interpreted directly, without symbolic decoding. Both quantitative indicators (how many people are moved into a particular house) and qualitative indicators are taken into account. It is very important where the child places his parents, younger brother or sister, teacher, peers, etc.

There is no need to describe the course of the entire experiment; I would only like to note that children with a negative family kinetic pattern showed a desire to be alone. As a rule, they were reluctant to let other people live in their home, limiting themselves to a narrow circle of peers. Many problem children put their parents in a black house, which once again indicates a conflict situation in the family

The conducted studies showed that the test group of children of senior preschool age has an increased aggressive state, which negatively affects the emotional well-being of children, even those who have minor disabilities. Unfortunately, we have to admit that difficult living conditions and other problems typical modern Russia, have a negative impact on the upbringing of children in the family. If in preschool institutions Children are exposed to at least some kind of upbringing according to a certain method, but in some families this upbringing is completely absent. Material, housing, social and other problems push the problem of raising children to the last place. Such children feel abandoned and experience a constant feeling of anxiety. Given the nature of emotions, such a state inevitably leads to emotional distress.

Testing on the kinetic pattern of the family speaks in favor of the arguments about the everyday nature of the emotional distress of the tested children. Parents can be advised to pay as much attention to their child as possible. Of course, there is no need for constant presence. Parents should observe their child and be able to feel his emotional state. Children need attention from parents mainly when they are emotionally agitated, anxious, or show increased aggressiveness. It is at these moments that it is necessary to calm, distract the child, and give him support. In this case, the child will feel confident and have fewer reasons to worry, which will certainly affect his emotional state and the formation of a positive example.

But all problems should not be shifted only to the family. The child spends more time in kindergarten, therefore, it is the kindergarten that has the responsibility to instill in children correct emotional behavior. It is the kindergarten that should lay the foundations of worldview, especially since we are talking about an institution in which specially trained teachers work.

Questions of diagnosing the development of coherent speech in children are among the most difficult and poorly studied problems, since coherent speech is complex mental function, subject to multifactorial influences. She mediates others mental processes, is a tool of knowledge, communication, self-expression. Studying the level of children's mastery of their native language allows us to obtain data not only about their speech abilities, but also about mental development in general.