My friends and I know each other and are already friends, it’s scary to think how many years, but for me the real female friendship is a rather rare occurrence. And she, rather, resembles a man in her essence: without ostentation, without rivalry, without toadying and many other things that are characteristic of the fair sex.
Many women are very jealous by nature, and they can show their jealousy both in relation to their beloved and in relation to their best friend. Surely, many have heard a similar phrase in childhood: "You are friends with her, so I'm not friends with you" - this is jealousy in all its glory, namely, unwillingness to share a girlfriend with another. And indeed, there is a great chance that communication will stop after such words.
Many like to compete or feel superior. This can manifest itself as an attempt to play a joke on a friend in public, so much so that it is offensive to her and shows that the second one is better. This also includes the fact that a girl chooses a less spectacular companion in order to look more beautiful against her background. Not to mention the fact that some, looking at a friend, for example, with a new hairstyle that clearly does not go with that one, tell how good she is in a new image.
If several women are friends, then it is possible to create all sorts of coalitions, create and publish gossip, invent intrigues and much more.
But, although this is rare, there is female friendship. And no less willingly girls help each other out, communicate throughout their lives and never think about betrayal. Such girlfriends do not take a bunch of pictures to show all virtual friends what kind of real friends they are, they do not kiss each other constantly, calling “Zaya”, they are not jealous of each other for other acquaintances, they are not offended if one of the companions has a young the person who takes everything free time. But even such a friendship can end when someone starts a family. And the reasons are very different: from the banal lack of time, to the unwillingness of the husband to have his wife communicate with someone other than him. But still, female friendship network, only rare.
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Yes 0 No 0I have always been very surprised by the concept of "Women's friendship". Why is she so special? So much has been said and written about her. "Real" friends can really be seen a mile away. Always and everywhere together, one opinion for two, everything, as they say by sex. One of the important reasons for the discord between friends, supposedly becomes a man. If this happened, then the trouble is a disaster, run all in different directions. If the ladies are friends, then for "ages", if they swear, then "forever". Everything is very open and exposed. That's the whole feature. Men, on the other hand, do not expose their relationship, and try to be friends "silently". They are less emotional and brighter. So what makes men friends stronger? Of course not. They are also prone to quarrels and conflicts. But it happens much more calmly, often not noticeable to others. Therein lies the difference. Friendship is a very complex psychological process that has its own reasons. Let's consider a few of them.
1. Habit. We became friends in kindergarten, studied in the same class, have known each other for many years. Without such a friend, life will not be comfortable. Such relationships are based more on affection and memories. With favorable development, they become very strong. Applies to both men and women.
2. General area. Friends live next to each other, which allows them to see each other often. In the case of a move, they almost always fall apart.
3. Colleagues. The weakest friendships, relationships are reduced to communication at work. When adding other reasons, they can get stronger.
4. Friendship in couples. Pretty strong, because several people are involved in the process, and if we add a common territory to this, then it is practically indestructible. With this development, friendship often passes from generation to generation, where friendship is continued by children, and so on.
Man is a social being. For various reasons, people come into our lives. With someone we just communicate, with someone we begin to make friends. With some for profitable reasons, with others at the call of the soul and heart. The strongest and most durable relationships are the second. The more purity and sincerity in friendship, the stronger they are. Therefore, I believe that friendship can be both female and male. It doesn't matter who is friends with whom. The main task of a friend is to help and understand. People must be connected to each other on a subtle, invisible level. It often happens that it is friends who become helpers to each other in difficult life situations.
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Yes 0 No 0Most of us women have a pretty practical approach to life. And it happens that from the outside it sometimes does not look particularly beautiful, because such important principles for men, like devotion, sometimes do not exist for the beautiful half of the population of our planet. It turns out that we have a more sober approach to life, which is admired by psychologists around the world. Sometimes men could even learn from women!
Women's friendship for the most part is quite temporary, which is confirmed. For example, you have probably heard many stories about such friendship up to a certain point: either when one of the friends gets married, or just moves. It is like a temporary agreement between two countries, when each side seeks to take into account its own interests in the first place. An ally in this case is only good! Presidents never promise each other allegiance under any circumstances, but only as long as cooperation does not violate their own interests.
Women's friendship will be maintained if mutual interests do not overlap. And as soon as this happens, everything will suddenly end. Declarations of loyalty sometimes sound quite often and loudly, and from each side. But in which case each of the friends will do what will be beneficial to her, and then simply find an excuse, saying, for example, that this was a special case.
To some extent, this is not even bad. Because in this case, a woman commits deceit only verbally, but her deeds are still honest with herself. But the male sex sometimes makes such promises for the sake of friendship, because of which it is quite easy to derail his life, so stronger sex absolutely nothing to be proud of.
What main reason collapse of friendship between women? Of course, man. This is where the so-called friendship ends and the well-known law comes into play: "survival of the fittest", in this case the strongest. And if it turns out that both girlfriends' interests converge on one man, then we can assume that the relationship is over.
Of course, there are times when such a warm relationship between two women lasts throughout their lives, but this is more an exception than a rule, since most likely their interests in such cases never intersected. If one of the friends gave the man to a friend, then most likely this means that she didn’t really want to ...
Why do women enter into such alliances? While such women are friends, their relationship reminds us of male friendship - in any case, friends will come to each other's rescue and help in the fight against various experiences.
Women do not consider it shameful to cry in front of a friend and directly feel sorry for a friend. What is not a reason for you to once again experience admiration for how directly women can express their feelings. Such emotional support also keeps two girlfriends together, because much less importance is attached to practical help.
So when a woman meets a man who can console her, all her girlfriends fall into second place, because a woman in love and beloved does not particularly need them. A man provides support, comfort, solves women's problems, so why should she waste time with her friends?
In companies, and in matters of a personal nature, the question often arises of whether female friendship exists. This topic is very topical and has come up more than once in everyday discussions. But before finding out its causes and consequences, it is necessary to consider what these relations are in principle.
They note that friendships are close communication, mutual understanding, trust, the presence of common interests and emotional attachment. Unlike other types of relationships, partnerships, business relationships, affection between acquaintances, these are based on emotional sympathy.
Like love of a sexual nature, the existence of friendship between two people carries the aspect of affection and feelings "in spite of" . The difference between these feelings is precisely sexual attraction.
As in love for a partner, friendship can start quickly, but the relationship process itself is built long and painstakingly.
Female and male friendship: what is it?
So, the meaning of this concept, in principle, carries an emotional and trusting character, contains a feeling of affection and the presence of common interests. In this case, the emergence of such a complex of feelings is not limited to gender. So it depends on personal qualities individual.
By the way, a similar list, and perhaps much wider, can be presented to the feeling of love or falling in love. And if you start to distinguish between love, if possible, feel and imbue it with respect to male or female, then the results can come out directly opposite to the opinion that has developed among the people about friendship.
The misconception that female friendship does not exist is most likely generated by the women themselves. Take, for example, the 18th or 19th century, when it was the destiny of a woman to marry successfully or to marry in principle.
A man was unlikely to have any interest in the presence or absence of his wife's affection for her girlfriend, in fact, because the weak half of humanity still remained weak, and any feelings and desires, except for those related to the husband and family, were not regarded as in any way worthy. or value unit.
So, why are there misconceptions that female friendship does not exist:
- the weak side of the population itself came up with this myth, or rather, brought it out of personal experiences. For what purpose? Yes, absolutely simple - to justify yourself, your beloved in not too well-behaved deeds. And so, they say, there really is no girlfriend, and I did not betray anyone. But this is a personal factor that has nothing to do with primary sexual characteristics;
- as always happens, one of the “great ones” said something similar, and those to whom the phrase was beneficial picked up and actively began to use it;
- more or less objective reasons coming from men. The fact is that a woman spent the lion's share of her existence on earth near her husband and children, taking care of the house. We all know how, after all the household chores, there is no energy left for anything - what kind of friends and acquaintances are there! The strong side of humanity in the literal sense of the "breast" is not tied to the family and children, respectively, opportunities for "strong male friendship" more too. Therefore, among the strengths of humanity, it is generally believed that only they are capable of true brotherly emotions.
But again, such feelings as “love” and “friendship” appeared already in a fairly late era of human development and are not a property of a biological species, but of individuality - personality. It is not a certain gender that is capable of such sincere emotional manifestations, but a certain personality. Otherwise, if we talk about the psychological difference and the different abilities of the sexes for feelings, then female friendship may turn out to be stronger.
Mirror neurons are responsible for empathy, trust, and empathy. Women have more of them than men, so they are more emotional, easier to forgive, trust and empathize.
Based on this logic, in this case, the strong side of humanity is incapable of strong feeling, as it is more sober in its assessments. Therefore, speaking critically about whether there is friendship between ladies, it is worth remembering that strong and real feelings of any kind are the prerogative of the individual, and not gender.
However, there are still certain differences in gender relations. And they are connected, first of all, with the psychology of sex.
How is male friendship different from female?
Strong representatives of humanity are distinguished by their sober mind and rationality, while they have important role playing male solidarity.
Remember how many times the boyfriend / husband left "meet the boys for beer/fishing", “well, dear, my brother has a problem there - it’s necessary to sort it out” etc.
In addition, the strong side of humanity is less picky about trifles, to a large extent less envious, more guided by its own opinion than by the views of others.
For the beautiful half of the population, everything happens a little differently:
- developed a sense of rivalry, a desire for superiority. At the same time, women often think not in terms of changes, but in comparison with others: she is fatter than me - I am fatter than her, she has a successful husband - my drunk, she looks young - I sewed myself up in pots, etc. At the same time, between women begins unhealthy rivalry, namely, a game without rules. Increased emotionality makes itself felt, and instead of a rational improvement plan, a plan to destroy the opponent often matures;
- different logic of thinking. Guys usually decide everything at once, while a fight is a direct way to clarify the conflict, after which they will not necessarily disperse as enemies. Ladies rarely solve an interpersonal problem directly and immediately. Usually everything happens like this: I heard - I saw - I was offended - I thought - I discussed the incident with my friends - I thought again - weaved an intrigue;
- women are more inclined to talk, men to action. Girlfriends gather to talk somewhere and express all the accumulated indignation, then discuss, then once again express indignation. Men, on the other hand, usually meet for some common cause (remember football and fishing!), Where frank conversations may not come to pass. Men are not inclined to a long discussion, except intimate life- here they are gossips even worse than girls;
- guys think straight, girls ... Pan's Labyrinth. From one unanswered SMS, a woman is able to create an hour-long scandal. Moreover, before that, she also made a crazy cycle of emotional thought. This is reflected in relationships - men are less likely to console themselves with thoughts that everything will work out if everything went wrong. Girls look for thousands of reasons and excuses for themselves and others, build hopes and refuse to see the obvious;
- the strong half of humanity has a different perception. They are not used to getting to the bottom of the truth and looking for a catch. For girls, the opposite is true.
The difference in thinking gives rise to some differences in behavior within the framework of any type of relationship.
Myths about why there is no strong female friendship
- The beautiful half of the population is not responsive in matters of assistance and mutual assistance. It's at the root
wrong. This misconception is based on the fact that men are more prone to action. Mutual assistance in the stronger sex is based on specific actions - men are not inclined to talk about problems: they either solve them or are silent. For girls, it's a little different. Often we come with a conversation to a friend not so that she solves this or that dilemma, but simply to speak out and hear advice. The psychology of female friendship is based on the importance of being heard, and this is already regarded as a partial solution to problems; - The boundaries of friendship end where the man begins. The statement, in principle, is true, however, it has a place to be regardless of gender. Strong half humanity quarrels over girls as often as the weak. This question has actually been the cause of much debate about the existence of friendship.
Fortunately, the fragility of relationships most often does not depend on gender and not on claims for "pretty prince" but from interpersonal competitive feelings between girls.
The best friend is not a stylish thing that comforts you when you are separated from a guy. This more like a man who will be delighted with how amazing you look.
My own desires are the law for me. I always listen carefully to what the voice of reason tells me, I turn to the Lord if help is needed. And I'm sure: female friendship exists!
Female loneliness is rather the absence of a close friend.
The girls understand the meaning of the expression “to be friends with the three of us” in their own way: the third is always the subject of discussion between the two.
Life is a joyless phenomenon, sometimes, however, grief happens to a friend.
There is no female friendship, they are united by the unity of views.
Female friendship is a wonderful thing. Your friend will never say that in this situation you behaved incorrectly. But he will immediately begin to pour into your ears that this young man is not worthy of you.
Often ladies prefer loneliness to friendship. Compared to captivating love, it seems gray and tasteless to them.
You can not bring to the attention of your boyfriend what flaws you have. Your friends will take care of it with pleasure.
When talking to each other, the ladies portray friendly solidarity, trust and frankness, which usually does not happen in conversations with the opposite sex. But female friendship is just an appearance, in fact, women are constantly on the alert, they do not trust each other. And this, I must say, has a good reason. André Maurois
Continuation best aphorisms and quotes read on the pages:
There are few joys in life, but it still happens that a girlfriend is not lucky. – Yanina Ipohorskaya
There is something of a boxing handshake in a kiss between two women. — Henry Louis Mencken
Women kiss each other when they meet because they can't bite. – Magdalena the Pretender
It is easy to forgive an enemy, but how to forgive a girlfriend? – Wanda Blonsky
My peers are aging so quickly that it's just nice to look at. — Betty Davis
My friends, there are no friends in the world!
Female friendship is when two women envy each other silently.
Did you know that the girls are friends in triplets, that is, three people each, so that the two of them can discuss the third.
A woman can enter a burning hut alone, but you need to go to the toilet only with a friend.
“Alcohol, men and smoke! Let's get drunk to get drunk for the whole week! Well ... this, of course, only if there are no tickets to the theater ... "
Female friendship has one advantage: a friend will never tell you that you are wrong, but for the hundred thousandth time she will tell you what a bastard your boyfriend is.
The fact that true female friendship does not exist is everything known fact. The fact that there is no friendship between a man and a woman, too. The question is only one: so with whom to be friends with the female sex??
Men, playing with friendship, like with a soccer ball, leave it intact, and women, playing with it, as with a crystal phase, break it sooner or later.
Women are able to give to friendship only that and so much that and in what amount they borrow from Love.
As long as the interests of girlfriends do not intersect, female friendship can continue to exist.
Women's friendship can be called simply a non-aggression pact.
You can't tell your man about existing shortcomings, as your beloved friends will do it with great pleasure.
Friendship between two women is nothing but a conspiracy against a third female.
Joy rarely happens, but sometimes a friend is still unlucky.
The best friend can be called the one who really forgets about her problems, because she sincerely understands that your problems are more serious.
True female friendship is when you stumble and fall, and your girlfriend first laughs at your absurdity, and then falls next to you.
Who is a friend? A friend is the person who has half of your wardrobe in their closet and vice versa.
If life gave you a friend, be sure to tell her that she is good.
A true friend knows how to hear between the lines, to hear what has not been said.
The most beautiful moment in my life is the moment of realizing that in my life there is a girlfriend, like-minded person.
You know, you will always be my best friend because you know too much about me.
A childhood friend is the person who will help you move to a new apartment, but a good friend is the person who will help cover up all traces of the crime you committed.
You need to praise your girlfriend in public, and scold only face to face.
Women-girlfriends do not exist, there are only like-minded people.
I love my friend most of all for her shortcomings, which you can talk about ...
A friend is a friend female who notices everything and forgives everything - even dignity.
Female friendship: we were friends, we were friends ... and we made friends ...
Sometimes a friend is an enemy on standby
Friends can be fake but enemies are always real...
Friends help us live and interfere with work
On weekdays, friends should appear only by invitation, and in misfortunes - without an invitation, on their own
Friends come and go, but enemies pile up...
True friends are those who are devoted to you, who betray you, who are devoted to you ...
My girlfriend! Let's dot all the points ... from A to Z ...
Girls, of course, know how to keep secrets, but together ...
Girls! Who are you against?
A real friend, she is like skin - close to the heart and always supports
The secret of happiness: never compare health, wife and salary with others.
A real guy should smell like alcohol, sex and her perfume.
The average woman would rather be beautiful than smart because average man sees better than thinks.
The best friend, just like special forces all rolled into one, will come to the rescue anywhere in the world: along with alcohol, smoking, dry rations and a shoulder to cry on.
If my friends can easily do without me when I feel bad, I can easily do without them when I feel good.
When you fall, a real friend will not give you a hand, but will fall next to you and will laugh like crazy ..
No female friendship? Lies ... Girlfriend - a reflection of my soul.
It doesn't happen beautiful women, there are blind men!!!
There is something of a boxing handshake in a kiss between two women.
“Ethologists - experts in the behavior of animals and people say unequivocally: there is no friendship between a man and a woman and cannot be. Relationships between men and women of reproductive age always have a secret or obvious hint of sex on at least one side, and with the male - almost completely show .. "Ethologists - experts in the behavior of animals and people declare unequivocally: there is no friendship between a man and a woman and there will not be Maybe. Relationships between men and women of reproductive age always have a secret or obvious hint of sex on at least one side, and almost always on the male side. Except on rare occasions when a man is fed up female attention, but then in this situation, hints will definitely be from the female side. Unconscious imposition of a friendly form of communication usually comes from a woman. For her, this is one of the ways of collecting a “collection” of instinctively second-rate fans, on the principle of “so that they are”. In other words, at least one of the “other …
A friend is a friend. You call her at night, tell her that you fell in love. And she just says in a hoarse voice Sleep! and hangs up. Then he will call back and say: Open the door for me. Only quietly.
They say: “there is no friendship between a guy and a girl” and “female friendship does not exist”. So, who am I supposed to be friends with?
Female friendship does not exist, there are only those who are ready to assent in exchange for the same service.
There are two blind people in the world ... You - because you do not see how much I need; and I, because I see no one but you.
You're purple on me, then I'm speckled on you
Men play with friendship like a soccer ball, and it remains intact. Women play with friendship like a glass vase, and it breaks. (Anne Lindberg)
Don't always say what you know, but always know what you're saying.
Being friends does not mean knowing someone for a very long time ... It means accepting into your life someone who will never disappear from it.
I used to think that I was in love, Now I realized that I loved to think 🙂
I give a smile to everyone, Friendship to some, Love to one ...
Where are you friend?
We are cute .. Beautiful ... Happy ... We love lollipops ... Sometimes we cry at night ... We smile ... We laugh .... We are together ... We are friends ....
There is nothing better in the world than eating candy with your best friend!
There are only two ways to live life. The first is that miracles do not exist. The second - as if there were only miracles around!
And for me, this real friend is the one who first cracks, and then asks: “Damn, doesn’t it hurt?”
It is true that the most best friends can bring to white heat, but without them our life is not so rich.
Buying a fur coat, the lady asks the saleswoman: - Can I ask for it to be delivered to my house, but, before ringing at my door, would they mistakenly look first at my neighbor?
Female friendship: the girl did not spend the night at home, the guy called all his friends in a rage, but he never found her ... three are still sleeping ...)))
Women's friendship is not changed for x * d !!!
According to your new girl, I left, taking everything from you ... and even the taste ...
He asked me if I love him. I proudly replied that no, I do not. He laughed, hugged me and whispered: - but you have to 🙂
True friendship is when the message “I’m sick” is written to you “what are you doing fucked up ????”
Let them say that there is no female friendship, let them talk, but I know that ...
This complex and everyday question cannot be unequivocally answered even by qualified psychologists. Since the female character and nature themselves are diverse.
Sometimes a real girlfriend is much harder to find than a beloved man. And sometimes it’s better for women to communicate like real friends and trust their innermost secrets to the male sex. Since life's questions and answers to them occur precisely with the help of men.
Reasons for the termination of female friendship
Many girlfriends begin to be friends from the very early age, kindergarten or schools. And it seems to them that they are the real friends who will share not only joyful events, but also support in difficult times. But there are various, unpredictable situations in life, and there is no trace of the so-called real female friendship. Many very easily scatter real relationships and break up with girlfriends. Preferring to consider himself right and speak arrogantly about former friends.
For example, very often between women there is a feeling of rivalry and competition. This can be facilitated by a man who has sympathy for two girlfriends at the same time. Also, rivalry can arise due to the external data of girlfriends or lifestyle, work and many other similar factors. In this situation, everyone wants to stand out and seem to society that she is better than her friend, although this is no longer a friend, but a rival. Envy also becomes a cause of contention between women. When one of the friends begins to envy success in work or family life the other is usually the most close person turns into an open or hidden enemy.
Very often, close friends meet each other together with their spouses or young people. And after that, the husbands begin to compare the relationship in another pair. Praise your girlfriend or give minor compliments to show not flirting, but simply elementary rules of etiquette. Then, on the basis of jealousy, there is a discord between real, devoted friends.
How to keep female friendship
Female friendship is like a guitar string, you pull it a little harder and it breaks. In order for warm friendships to truly manifest, they need to be constantly worked on. It's almost like family relationships between spouses. If friends will not only talk about their problems, but listen and, most importantly, hear each other, then friendship will only become stronger and more reliable from this. No need to succumb to selfish intentions and envy of each other. It is necessary to communicate loyally and tactfully, and if there are any comments in relation to each other, then you need to state them in such a way as not to bring pain and grief to your girlfriend.
True friends, despite all the respect for each other, should make comments and not be critical of this. Since the closest person can tell the truth in the face, not seeing this as malicious intent or self-interest.
What qualities should a true friend have?
Before you let another person close to you, you need to observe him, and in some cases experiment. If you think you've met a real friend, you need to listen carefully to what she has to say. If she discusses other women or people with you, then most likely she will discuss you in another society. You can check her if she knows how to keep secrets and mysteries. A real friend will never discuss you, your children and family, as she values \u200b\u200bthis relationship. Also, in difficult times, she will first of all offer her help, without asking for any moral or material benefits in return. You can always consult with her without fear of being judged or shamed.
True friends do not hold grudges and know how to ask for forgiveness and forgive each other. Friends should not lie, even for the benefit of one of them. But this certainly does not apply if third parties are involved in the situation. If there was a quarrel between friends, you should not show your pride, but you should try to make peace as soon as possible. But there are situations when one side goes for reconciliation, while the other arrogantly accepts this reconciliation. In this situation, we can immediately assume that there can be no talk of any friendship.
Communication between women should take place on an equal note. Friendship cannot be based on leadership and submission. On equal terms, not only communication should take place, but also the time spent in supporting each other. A friend should be glad with a pure soul that you are healthy, that you have peace and tranquility in your family, and that children only make you happy. True friends treat each other with kindness and understanding, as both understand the value of worthy female friendship.
Many people think that real friendship measured in years. Perhaps this is correct, but also true disinterested friendship between women is measured by attitude and actions. After all, life can turn in such a way that in an instant you can understand a reliable person next to you or not. And sometimes you can be friends for many years and still not understand whether your girlfriend is a reliable person or not.
Of course, disinterested female friendship exists, but this is a very rare instance. In our crazy time, when everyone has a bunch of their own worries and problems, more and more people began to put real female friendship on the back burner. Many do not have enough time to devote to their family and children, and what can I say about girlfriends. But for those who are lucky enough to meet a real friend, the main thing is not to scatter relationships and not lose this friendship.
Keep sincere feelings of friendship and do not allow self-interest and envy to settle in your heart.
Question on topic. I would like to hear your opinion. I myself believe that female friendship, of course, can be found, but this is a very rare occurrence. Not all women are capable of this. We always remain rivals for each other. These considerations have been around for a long time. Write here prompted the situation with a friend. We have been together since childhood. For about 18 years now. I never perceived her as a rival, I always try to support her. It was such that she was worried about her man. I supported her as best I could, gave advice, which, by the way, came in handy for her, and relations improved. She is finally happy in her personal life. I'm sincerely happy for her. (For both of us at the same time, it didn’t stick for a long time. Each one was looking for love on its own). I got a boyfriend. Personal life appeared. He is not against my meetings with girlfriends, but it was such that he was offended when I went to the club with them at night. I understand him. Unpleasant. Yes, and I myself am already tired of staggering along them, there is nothing attractive in this. Especially clubs in our hinterland. Therefore, I continue to communicate with my friends during the day, in the evening. So, this close girlfriend always likes to hang out until the morning, she called me. I refused. I said I don't want to, and the guy doesn't encourage it. She offered to send it to me. Very unpleasant. Why, if I love a person, should I send him because of the whim of a friend, who, it turns out, doesn’t give a damn about my personal happiness. Although in a similar situation in the past, because of the guy she was at home, and I respected her decision and did not take offense. It turns out now that she, at any opportunity, tells how happy she is with her beloved, I am happy for her (honestly), but I don’t care about my well-being. And yet, I don’t cling to my pants (as they like to say here). I just love my martyr. And they don’t start with family friends.
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