Faced with lies is always unpleasant. But it's one thing when a random person tells a lie, and it's another thing to constantly listen to lies from your own husband.

What to do in a situation when a spouse? What solution in these circumstances would help solve the problem? Is there a single correct answer to such difficult questions?

Aphids eat grass, rust eats iron, and lies eat soul.
A.P. Chekhov

Who is to blame for the lie and what can be done

Absolutely every person is individual and everyone has their own attitude to untruth. Some, like Voltaire, believe that if with the help of a lie you can calm or please a person, then it is a blessing. Others, like Kant, are deeply convinced that under no circumstances it is impossible to lie.

But this is all in theory. In practice, faced with the deception of her husband, every woman feels betrayed and unhappy. She immediately has two questions: "why is he doing this to me?" and "what to do next?" As corny as it sounds, the first thing to do is to calm down. In such difficult situations, the "cold" mind will be a much better advisor than "hot" emotions.

First you need to find out how often the spouse lies and for what reason (read the same about girls). The tendency to tell lies is formed in childhood. If a child was brought up by strict parents and for every deviation from the rules he was scolded or punished, then he gets used to hide everything. Adults also actively use this model. If you notice that your husband is constantly lying, analyze the situation in detail.

There are two possible options:

1. Deceit is a trait of his personality. He lies constantly to everyone: at work - to the boss, in the company - to friends, and at home - to his wife. With all the desire to correct a pathological liar without the help of a qualified specialist, it is unlikely that it will be possible. It is necessary to consult a psychotherapist or psychiatrist.

   To cope with this problem can only be established by establishing the true reason for the tendency to deceive everyone. To become sincere and truthful, a person will have to show great volitional efforts.



2. He only lies to his wife- this means that the reason lies precisely in the relationship of the couple.

Trust is a solid foundation for building strong and honest relationships. And it is only possible where there is no control.

Psychologists argue that it is women who, with their excessive control, often push men to lie. In such a situation, attempts to change the situation and make communication trustworthy need to start with yourself.

Different reasons for male lies: what lies behind them

If the husband constantly has to lie only to his wife, then again the reason for this behavior should be established. By understanding the cause, you will be able to take actions that will be effective to solve the problem.

Possible reasons for male lies:

• The desire not to offend your spouse- if a wife asks questions, the truthful answer to which may upset or offend her, most men will lie about whether the dress really suits her.

  To avoid such unpleasant situations, a woman needs to make it clear that she normally perceives constructive criticism and it is better to treat truthful, not very flattering reviews than “sweet” lies.

• The desire to look more successful in the eyes of the spouse. If the husband "artificially overestimates" his achievements, then the wife should think about whether she evaluates him too critically.

  In order for a person not to have a desire to invent achievements for himself, he must be believed in and supported. Criticism should be measured and very objective. The main thing is not to compare your husband with other men not in his favor, because this is perceived very painfully and in the future can provoke a lie of this nature.

• Desire to avoid negative consequences, quarrels, scandals. If a wife limits her husband's personal space too much and every deviation from her acceptable behavior ends in a scandal or lectures, over time, even an honest person will begin to deceive.

  If a spouse is against meeting her husband with friends, after sitting with them for several hours at a bar, he will say that he is late at work. This is a situation about which popular wisdom says "misfortune forces even an honest person to lie."

  In order to prevent such cases, it is enough to trust your loved one and give him enough free time and space. In gratitude for this, most men stop lying, get out and tell the truth.

Women need to remember that they are not strict "mothers" who control every step, so they have to be deceived. They are loving and understanding partners with whom you can consult in any situation. Then the relationship will become truly trusting.

Treason is the worst lie

The situations listed above are upsetting and upsetting, but most women can put up with them. But when a precedent arises that the husband has cheated and lies, then this is already very serious and is a true betrayal.

If we are talking about the only betrayal and the husband considers it a big mistake, then some women manage to forgive and save the relationship.

And if the spouse is constantly cheating, then there is little hope of maintaining a happy marriage. Only the huge work on the relationship, which both spouses will do, will help to save him. A visit to a family counselor is a good option.

What is to be done in the end?

The answer to the question "if my husband is lying to me, then what should I do?" everyone finds for themselves. If the relationship is valuable to you, then you need to take all possible measures so that they become trusting.

Trust your spouse, accept him with all his faults, and he will become more honest. But if there is no corresponding positive reaction from the person, then is it worth spending your own efforts on improving the situation in the marriage? Everyone has to make their own choice.

Men and women have different natures, everyone knows this for a long time, but, unfortunately, on the basis of this knowledge, conflicts have not diminished. Very often, different sexes cannot agree on anything, they worry and suffer from this and eventually part.

But after all, situations are different, those that have reasons for the conflict or not, those that are sufficient for parting or not. Very often, such a reason is a lie on the part of a man. If you look into the depth of the situation, then men tend to deceive, lie or conceal. But again, the situations and the reasons why they do it are so diverse that deciding how to act as a result is a rather delicate question.

To begin with, before you start making a decision about a future relationship, you need to figure out how to understand that a man is lying. If you suspect that he is not sincere, you should try to just talk to him about it. Of course, if he is hiding something serious, this can make him show great vigilance and caution, and then it will be even more difficult for a woman to get to the bottom of the truth.

But, nevertheless, an attempt at a conversation is the most correct in such a situation, the main thing is not to go too far. It is worth planning the right conversation well, and if you did not succeed in getting intelligible answers from the man, pretend that this issue is not focused on.

A man is most likely lying if, instead of trying to explain something, he jokes everything and translates the topic of conversation, or if he explains something in a very confused way. Questions and the moment for conversation should be unexpected, so that he does not prepare for them in advance.

At the same time, the circumstances should be comfortable enough, in the event that the omission is not significant - this will help the man to relax and, possibly, tell the woman everything. In such a conversation, it is important for a woman to follow the gestures and facial expressions of the man. Some elements and movements can involuntarily indicate that the person is lying or hiding something.

In addition to such more obvious signs, there are also those that can be simply tracked in the process of daily life. If a man suddenly becomes unexpectedly secretive and taciturn, puts his phone away when a woman comes up to him or puts secret passwords everywhere, then most likely he has something to hide.

There are also two models of defensive behavior when a person is lying. In men, they are expressed by aggression and excessive attention. That is, when a man feels his guilt, he either begins to react sharply, "with hostility" to his woman, or surround her with care that is absolutely not peculiar to him, thus compensating for his deception. But conclusions should be drawn only if the man's behavior has really changed, and it has not always been so. For example, if he is quite withdrawn by himself, then you should not imagine that this is some kind of new feature in his behavior.

There are also such rare cases when a man does not feel guilty for his lies and, accordingly, it is very difficult for a woman to reveal deception, most likely such a man simply does not care about the woman who is next to him. But in any case, before judging what, it is worth understanding the situation and trying to understand the reasons for his deception.

If a man is lying, what to do? Indeed, the most correct answer to this question is to understand. Do not make a rash decision, do not make a scandal, but first try to understand why he is doing this. Most women immediately think that if a man is lying, then he is cheating, but these are far from identical concepts. There are many more reasons for lying.

Such examples include the so-called "lie for salvation." This type of deception implies that a man is worried about his woman, does not want to upset her, or it does not concern him at all, but one of his friends or some circumstances.

At the same time, he may not lie, but for example, he may not finish talking about some information. A man in such a situation may think that his actions are directed for the good. As a rule, if such a lie emerges, it is possible to solve the problems that have arisen in the process of an ordinary heart-to-heart conversation, of course, if such circumstances are not constantly repeated.

More often than not, it is precisely the same motivation that underlies deception on trifles, concern for a partner, unwillingness to discuss any problems, failures or blunders, etc.

In such cases, men often lie, exaggerate, etc. Of course, when a man lies on trifles all the time, you should take a closer look, perhaps he is deceiving a woman in the same way and on a large scale, but here a woman needs to be careful, you can blame her beloved without reason. If we are talking about minor exaggerations and small deceptions, then it is best to put up with these. It is sad to admit this, but it is natural for men, just as women tend to cry.

The deep basis of these phenomena lies in the fact that men are used to exaggerating facts, and women are used to emotions. That is why men lie and women roar, and, unfortunately, nothing can be done about it. These are partly interrelated phenomena. That is, because of some event, a woman gets upset, cries, a man, in order to avoid the next tears, lies.

Further, if the deception is revealed, the woman is upset again and cries. Thus, events continue in a circle until someone breaks it. But, as a rule, instead of fixing problems, one of the partners simply breaks off the relationship, not seeing or not wanting to see another way out. Or such a relationship lasts a lifetime, further fueled by even greater deception on the part of a man and suffering on the part of a woman. This is the standard model of behavior for most couples today.

At the heart of male lies, in addition to his natural qualities, education plays a certain role. If in childhood there were many restrictions and punishments, then it was easier to lie and avoid them than to tell the truth. And this stereotype is clearly eating into their minds.

And if a woman behaves according to a psychological type, like a "mommy" and, like real parents, bothers a man, then he involuntarily begins to lie to her. Such children's complexes, of course, affect the relationship in general, and it is best to resolve them with the help of a psychologist.

There are also cases when a man has a constant need to cheat, this is accompanied by constant problems not only at home, but also at work. In such a situation, the desire to deceive turns into a pathology, which cannot be solved even with the help of a psychologist, but it is necessary to contact specialists in this profile.

And only with their help and faith in success, it is possible to overcome this disease. There is also not a pathological lie in itself, but a deception based on pathologies or addictions. For example, if a man has a bad habit of smoking or playing in the Casino, and because of this he is lying. In this case, it is also worth contacting specialists, but a prerequisite should be his desire to get rid of it.

Naturally, there are very often situations when a lie is associated with treason, this is the circumstance that frightens women most of all. How to act in this situation is a personal matter for everyone. But psychologists believe that a one-time betrayal is a consequence of the behavior of both partners, and will not necessarily entail further ones, that is, if a woman is ready to make contact after such an event, then it is quite possible to restore the trust of partners in the future.

If deception is repeated many times for the sake of betrayal or some kind of addiction, then it is best to break off such relations completely. At the same time, it will be optimal if a woman expresses all her emotions and feelings (preferably calmly) so as not to experience them in herself.

In any case, every situation and every deception of a man is individual, so a woman should start by finding out the reasons and circumstances and discussing problems, and then, relying on her inner feelings, make a final decision.

COMMENTS (42)

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Valentina 09/16/2015

Hello Everyone !!! A familiar situation, burned for life. In marriage, we lived 15 years, not counting the candy-bouquet period. I felt the relationship began to cool down. The husband began to delay from work, became colder towards me, began to hide the phone. I shared the problem with my friend. We talked, she had a similar situation. She advised me a person who is engaged in location, wiretapping, correspondence. HIS CALLED ALEXEI (8 968 649 02 03) It turned out that my husband has another family in which two underage children are growing up. Words cannot convey the pain that I experienced. Let a thousand deceived women open their eyes ... ...

Olgavitalevna 12/21/2015

Three months ago, she began to notice the strange behavior of her husband, became secretive, put a password on the phone, sometimes, but suspiciously often stayed at work, changed the password in social networks. There were no quarrels, I felt like a complete fool and could not present anything to him as evidence of treason, despite the fact that she assumed the worst ((((. And I recently met a friend, she had something similar a couple of years ago, she gave me a phone number an acquaintance, he deals with non-standard personal situations, I met told about my troubles, I thought I was one such loser, he listened to me attentively, I did not know that someone was professionally dealing with such problems. I was grateful to the guys for their help, we figured out computers and a mobile phone quickly , then they found the bitch's mistress. As it turned out, he spent almost all the money on her, rented an apartment, and had already applied for a loan to buy her a car. If I hadn't checked it, I don't know how it would have ended.

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OlgaSereb 01/26/2016

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Zeny 02/27/2016

Good afternoon! I have such a situation in my life. We have been married to my husband for 12 years, not counting the period before the wedding ... A wonderful daughter is growing up ... Some time ago I felt our relationship began to cool down. My husband began to linger. from work, became colder towards me, started hiding the phone. In general, his behavior changed a lot ... I shared this problem with a close friend. She advised me to contact a person who is engaged in location, wiretapping, correspondence in social networks We started looking for such a person, and found him. His name is Alexey (8 968 649 02 03), well, this is in case someone needs it. It turned out that my husband has another family in which two underage children are growing up .. It turns out, as it happens in life. It is impossible to convey in words the pain that I experienced. But I, like many women, loved and trusted ... Thanks to Alexei for helping to open my eyes ...

Ksyu 04/16/2016

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Ksyusha 06/15/2016

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ARMENIAN ASMIK 19.06.2016

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Masha 08/19/2016

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Nastya 07/06/2016

My friend is behaving strangely now. Familiar for 4 months. We liked each other very much. He already has so many plans, both on the sea and an apartment and a car, and he promised a bunch of everything. But he only speaks, does not. The excuses are so truthful about the money, then the light in the bank was turned off, then the money was not ordered, then he was sent from work on a business trip. I think I bought a car, but I still can't see it. Every day he goes for her and everything will not reach :-( it’s a shame, I don’t ask him for anything. in the hospital, then Grandma. As a result, I began to check his phone. On the day when he told me that he was at work, his parents wrote something completely different. And his explanations do not agree with his messages in correspondence with his parents. Parents feel very worried about Except me and my parents, there are no more messages with anyone. I tried to bring him into a conversation, but no matter how, his answer is - "I will do everything, then we will laugh."

Galya 09/11/2016

Nastya, and your friend's name is not Alexander by any chance?

Asya 07.07.2017

My friend's name is Alexander. And he lies like a gray gelding. Fortunately, a former friend)

Irina 09/14/2016

Hello! For a long time there were suspicions that her husband was cheating, but she could not prove anything. It all started after a vacation in Greece, began to disappear for weeks, referring to foreign business trips. He stopped giving money altogether, said that he had allegedly invested in some kind of foreign business. Friends advised a specialist. , by installing wiretapping on the phone. I called and discussed everything, after 2 hours I listened to all my husband's conversations and read all the SMS, as well as all the correspondence in Vatsap and Viber, although my husband was abroad again at that time. It turned out that when we were vacationing in Greece, he had a mistress there who was 20 years, spent all the money on cars, restaurants, etc. for her. Here is the number of Elena who helped me to reveal this. 89151948420. Maybe someone needs help too.

Eva 16.09.2016

Anna 08/25/2017

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Irina 02.11.2016

turned to Elena - a typical charlotte

Karinakotik 11/05/2016

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Anis 12/04/2016

My husband really cheats on me and deceives me. Sometimes it is very offensive when you know that a person is not sincere. I didn’t know about his affair with other women, I wanted to leave, but he asked me for forgiveness and said that it turns out that that girl is a materialist to love me and he doesn’t love her more and more. I learned today that they are still in touch. What should I do give me advice please

"He lies as he breathes" - for some men, this statement is more than true. They are so accustomed to lying at every step that they do it with or without reason. Most of the men who tell lies are married, who have become in the habit of hiding the real state of affairs from their legal spouses. Moreover, a man's lie is not at all necessarily related to betrayal or the real figure of wages. But even in this case, the wife should start worrying, try to understand why the husband is constantly lying, and decide how to deal with it.

In this article, you will learn:

• Why does my husband constantly lie?
• What are the types of husbands who love to lie
• How to regain trust when you decide to forgive your husband who is constantly lying
• How to teach your spouse to tell the truth

Why does my husband constantly lie?

All people are different, and about lying, everyone has their own opinion. Some believe that a lie for good is sometimes simply necessary. Others do not justify lying under any circumstances. Voltaire, for example, was an adherent of the first point of view, Kant - the second. But theory is theory, but what should a woman do if her husband is constantly lying? After all, such behavior of a spouse, whatever one may say, brings severe emotional suffering.

What should you do in such a situation? The most important thing here is to try to calm down. If this is not done in time, then the situation can only worsen - by the same scandals. You need to coldly think about everything and try to understand how often the spouse tells a lie. Constantly or from time to time? And what is the reason for this?

In fact, the habit of cheating is born in a person almost from the first years of life. A child who was punished for the slightest reason tried to avoid it. And how can you achieve what you want, if not with the help of lies? By the way, this method of "protection" is often used in practice by quite adult, accomplished people.

Does your husband lie all the time? Ponder the situation calmly. Find out how things are. Two options are possible here:

• The spouse deceives everyone and always, he simply cannot live without it. Constantly lying to the boss, lying to friends, lying to you. Perhaps even he is aware of the entire incorrectness of his behavior, but is unable to solve the problem on his own. And in this case, only a consultation with a specialist will help. A psychotherapist or psychiatrist will determine the reason for such a tendency to lie and begin treatment.
• The second option is that the spouse is lying exclusively to you. This means that there is some reason for such behavior. You may be over-controlling your husband. Where there is no trust, lies are born. And here it is already useless to turn to the advice of a psychologist. To fundamentally change the situation, you need to start with yourself.

If your husband is only cheating you, there must be reasons for that too. The main ones are as follows:

• Desire to keep the peace in the family. Some of the questions that your beloved spouse asks simply cannot be answered honestly. Otherwise, she will be offended, or even a scandal will roll. Think, how many husbands admit that the dress does not suit the faithful at all, or does it make her look full? Or makes you look like a woman with reduced social responsibility? Fighting this kind of lies is not difficult: you just need to make it clear to your husband that you can take criticism normally, without a rolling pin in your hands.
• Another reason why your husband is constantly lying is his desire to look better in your eyes than he really is. For example, more successful, smart, talented. How to prevent your spouse from inventing non-existent achievements? Very simple. Try to support him in all endeavors. And if criticism is required, then it must be benevolent, without comparisons like "Vasya finished only eight grades, and earns sixteen times more than you." The husband, perhaps, will not change his attitude towards Vasya, but he will not forgive you for such claims. And in order not to hear such an assessment the next time, he will prefer to lie rather than tell the truth.
• Restriction of the husband's freedom is another good reason for his constant lies. Not a single man in his mind will admit to his wife that he drank in the garage with friends, because this will be followed by an inevitable scandal. It's easier to come up with an important meeting with partners.
• Almost from the same series, the husband's constant lies due to the fact that the wife is against his meeting with friends. It will be safer to "stay late at work" than to "skip a couple of beers" at the bar. Everyone is calmer.

If you start to respect a man, do not limit his personal space (within reason, of course), then the benefits of such behavior will manifest itself almost immediately. The husband will stop constantly lying, because he will have no reason to do it. Most men prefer to see in their spouse not a strict mother, but a faithful friend.

Why men constantly lie, see the next video.:

How to expose a husband who is constantly lying

Are you one hundred percent sure that your husband is constantly lying even on trifles, but you have no idea how to bring him to clean water? Include logic and attention. In fact, playing Sherlock Holmes is not that difficult. Pay attention to even the smallest details in your spouse's stories, try to memorize them or even write them down.

Pathological liars are usually very good at what they do. Their stories are logical and consistent. But even in them, sooner or later, all sorts of inconsistencies appear.

In addition, the truth about a spouse can be heard in a friendly company. And if this truth does not paint a man in any way, he will have to invent various excuses. And to do it right away is not so easy.

A pathological liar is easy to calculate by the following criteria:

1. He is constantly gets confused in his "testimony". Some moments in the stories contradict each other. But if you notice this, then resentment cannot be avoided.
2. Often such a man behaves covertly and withdrawn... His friends can be counted on one hand, simply because they do not correspond to the picture of the world invented by a liar. People who are accustomed to constantly lying love to give advice to others, and it is extremely rare that these advice are effective.
3. Constantly lying people without problems coming up with new facts on the go... And they do it so skillfully that you believe them unconditionally.

There are situations when the husband is constantly lying, but at the same time you understand that he is doing it for a reason, and the person needs help. What to do in this case?

• Make it a rule to record your conversations, preferably not even in a notebook, but on a dictaphone, so that your husband does not have the opportunity to abandon his words.
• Having exposed your spouse in a lie, be sure to ask for what purpose he lied.
• Always listen carefully to the person - precisely in order to catch him in deception. Do not believe constant excuses, look for weak points in the story written for you. And be sure to get ready to be accused of unbelief, among other things.

Why is all this needed? The fact is that this demeanor will help you determine what kind of liar a man is. You will understand the reasons for what is happening and will be able to say for sure if this behavior is dangerous for your marriage.

Types of husbands who love to lie

Cheating by a loved one cannot be liked by definition. Moreover, he is capable of generating a storm of indignation, scandal and, in some cases, even separation. How can you live with someone you don't believe? But even if the husband is constantly lying, the relationship can still be saved. The main thing is not to blame him at once for all mortal sins, but to sit down and calmly think about what can be done in this case.

The first step is to find out how often your husband lies to you and why he does it. According to psychologists, there are three "types" of the situation:

1. Easy pretense on trifles. Does your husband constantly lie on little things? Well, yes, it's unpleasant, but is it worth clarifying the relationship with quarrels and scandals? Perhaps your spouse just has a well-developed fantasy? Why not let your beloved man lie, especially if it does not harm anyone? Has he caught a fish that is not as big as he boasts, and in general, bought it in the market? Collected not two buckets of mushrooms, but half a basket? Do not offend your spouse, play along with him, or even make everything a joke. You will see, this will only benefit the relationship. The situation is more complicated with his love affairs, which, of course, were before you. It is not very pleasant to constantly hear this from your own spouse. In this case, it is better to remain silent, but in no case should he doubt his masculine strength, extraordinary charisma and powerful brutality. Such distrust hits pride, and a man will not forgive this.
2. Pathological liar. What if my husband is constantly lying? The psychology of his behavior can be explained quite simply: he is a pathological liar. And, therefore, appropriate measures should be taken. According to experts, people who constantly deceive themselves sincerely believe in their stories. In most cases, this happens because a person has too low self-esteem. A man constantly lies not only to his wife. The victims of his deception are also colleagues, boss, friends and even just acquaintances. This behavior is largely due to the conditions of upbringing. Perhaps a person simply had to hide his mistakes, otherwise punishment from his parents was inevitable. No wonder they say that many men never grow up. The model of behavior learned in childhood is retained in more mature years.
   By the way, the habit of constantly lying could appear in a man and "thanks to" constant control by his ex-wife or mistress. The person did not want problems in the relationship and chose a similar way to avoid them.

   In order for a pathological liar to stop lying at every step, he needs the help of a qualified specialist. You are unlikely to be able to change the situation for the better on your own.

3. The husband is lying exclusively to his wife. A similar situation occurs all the time. And here, in most cases, it is not the character of the man, not the peculiarities of upbringing in childhood, but the relationship in the family that is to blame. And you need to change them first.

What to do if the husband is constantly lying on little things

It is especially unpleasant when the spouse is lying and does not see anything criminal in his behavior. This is doubly insulting. You can, of course, start to control the faithful or try to pose as Miss Marple. But what if these methods are not to your liking? How to disaccustom a husband to constantly lie, using more “gentle” methods?

First of all, remember that no successful marriage is possible without full communication. Sometimes even strong scandals can be avoided if you just sit down and calmly talk with your husband. Someone might say that this method of solving problems is utterly banal. However, it is not. At the very least, during the conversation, you will be able to find out the reason why your husband is constantly lying to you.

Of course, it can happen that the spouse simply refuses to discuss this topic. This is unlikely to lead to an immediate divorce, but trust will be completely lost. And here there are only two ways out of this situation: either to accept reality as it is, or to think hard about the future of relations with a spouse.

Changing another person, and especially a man, is incredibly difficult. In most cases, this is simply unrealistic. But there is always the opportunity to change yourself. Talk to your husband about his constant lies and see if his behavior changes for the better after that. Has he stopped lying to you at every step, or has he simply become much more cunning? Does he want to start working on himself at all? Or did he prefer to forget about the conversation?

Sometimes the husband is constantly lying simply because he cannot do otherwise. And no preventive conversations with a request to change for the better will help here. There are situations when only special therapies are able to correct the state of affairs. The main thing is that the person really wants to solve the problem.

The desire for pathological lies in psychology is called Munchausen syndrome... That is, by and large, it is a disease. And many diseases can be cured.

How to understand that a husband is constantly lying to his wife and determine the presence of a mistress

Marital fidelity is one of those whales on which a strong family stands. When a husband is constantly cheating and lying about it, for a while, this behavior can keep the marriage afloat. But as a result, everything secret becomes apparent. And if some women are still able to forgive infidelity, then a regular lie about the fact of infidelity leaves them no choice but to divorce.

However, according to some signs, it is still possible to determine at an early stage whether a spouse has a mistress or not.

1. An unexpected desire to dress well and beautifully... The famous American divorce lawyer Merlin Stowe believes that if a man suddenly begins to monitor his appearance (although he did not pay special attention to him before), this is a sure sign of treason. If a man had previously taken care of himself in this regard, then it is too early to sound the alarm. Perhaps he just decided to do it more carefully.
2. The desire to keep a mobile phone with you at all times. It is possible that a man needs it for work. Or he is preparing a surprise for your dog's birthday. But the likelihood that your husband is hiding something from you also cannot be discounted.
3. There are no secrets in the ideal relationship between a man and a woman. But this happens only in a fairy tale, and before the start of the family life of the main characters. In fact, no one canceled such a concept as personal space. However, everything is good in moderation. And suddenly appeared password on the desktop, hidden, protected folders and files on the mobile phone an attentive woman can say a lot. Of course, in the event that she is not the wife of an FSB colonel.
4. In your husband's conversation, female names or first names often slip through. Even a husband, who is constantly accustomed to lying and has achieved perfection in this matter, is not able to control himself constantly. If he likes some woman, then her name will come up in conversation one way or another. And here urgent measures should be taken until this name begins to randomly appear in the matrimonial bed.
5. Lack or a sharp drop in sexual interest in your person. A sharp drop in the husband's libido is also a reason to suspect him of treason. If the man stops wanting you, something is clearly wrong, but in the latter case, it is not so simple. The reason for this behavior of the spouse may not be that he has a mistress. It may be hiding in yourself. A woman with whom she became bored, who ceased to take care of herself and over time lost her external attractiveness, is hardly able to attract a man sexually.

How to regain trust and love if you decide to forgive your husband who constantly lies

There are three main exits. You can file for divorce. You can hide your head in the sand and pretend that nothing is happening. Or you can start fighting for your happiness.

You cannot live only in the past, you need to think about the future. This means that the time has come to take some steps.

If problems are ripe in the family, you need to solve them, and not hope that everything will resolve by itself. The husband constantly lies, cheats, but does not leave? This does not mean that it will always be so and that the situation must be reconciled. It's time to take your destiny into your own hands.

There are several excellent ways to resolve the conflict without bringing the case to a scandal, or even to the decision to "stay with mom." What is the right way to behave in such a situation?

• For a start, just talk.

More precisely, to talk - this will already be the second stage. On the first one, you should calm down, sit down and think carefully about everything. It's never too late to have a fight. But maybe it will be more useful to competently prepare for the conversation?

To begin with, you should try to restore emotional closeness with your husband. An invisible wall between the spouses will not promote mutual understanding, and positive results from a heart-to-heart conversation can not be expected. Try to get your husband to trust you again, especially if this feeling has long been lost.

Do not cling to stereotypes, boldly break them. After that, there will be a great chance that you will see your beloved with different eyes, and he will begin to treat you in a way that he has never treated before.

And remember: if the husband is constantly lying, then one conversation on this slippery topic will not be enough. After some time, you will have to talk again, and then again and again.

Someone will ask: why a lot of conversations, if all claims can be clearly expressed in 15 minutes, and then just see what happens?

The fact is that at one time you simply cannot convince your husband that it is time to change something in the relationship. Men are generally arranged in such a way that they quickly forget everything, and even more unpleasant things for them. While a woman constantly scrolls everything in her head, she cannot get rid of obsessive thoughts, she relives moments of resentment again and again.

If a spouse - even without any ulterior motive - told his beloved five years ago that short skirts do not suit her, he will remember such a phrase for a very, very long time. Perhaps even for the rest of your life. It would seem that the matter is not worth a penny, but such is women's psychology, and nothing can be done about it.

The most interesting thing is that the man has long forgotten about what happened as a trifle that does not matter to anyone. And then suddenly, during another quarrel, his wife remembers his "joint". And how should you react to this? If it is wrong, then the woman's resentment will only intensify, her attitude towards her husband, albeit slightly, but again will worsen.

Women in general are emotional beings. Representatives of the stronger sex sometimes simply do not understand what is going on in the heads of their loved ones. And men need to follow their words especially closely, because any statement, even the most innocent at first glance, can cause an offense.

And then it remains only to wonder why the spouse does not show the same tenderness as before, why the beloved husband suddenly turned from a "cat" or "elephant" into something with horns and hooves. Men perceive such feminine coldness very painfully.

People living side by side for a long time begin to accumulate claims to each other - and nothing can be done about it. She accused him of being too addicted to alcohol, he did not notice her new hairstyle. The reasons may be different, but the result is the same: once strong relationships are cracking.

Spouses are fenced off from each other, for example, through work or hobbies. People literally become strangers and live side by side, largely due to habit.

If nothing is done in this situation, then the crack in the relationship will eventually turn into an abyss that will never be overcome. Therefore, you need to try to fix the situation until it is too late. In this particular case, sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk.

At the same time, whatever the reason for the overdue conversation, it is necessary to conduct it as calmly as possible, without mutual accusations and even less scandals. Look into each other's eyes, hold hands and perhaps you will take the first step towards the relationship that you had a long time ago. Love can not only be won, but also returned. The main thing is to try very hard for this.

By the way, there is no need to return to the topic of the conversation the next day or in a week. It takes a certain amount of time to realize everything. And even if the conflict turned out over a trifle, the person should still carefully consider the situation. Only in this way will he be able to draw the right conclusions from what happened and begin to restore relations.

• Prepare for the next conversation.

The husband constantly lies about money, drinks and, perhaps, even got a mistress? Quite a lot of real grievances and suspicions without suspicion can accumulate over the years they have lived together. Sometimes there are so many that you don't even know where to start. In such a situation, it is better to take a pen and paper and write out everything point by point.

Moreover, it is good if both spouses do this. This practice will allow you not to break down on unfounded accusations and provoke a family scandal.

If you remember, there were more than enough unpleasant moments in life. You tried to forget about some of them, some of them disappeared from your memory. But, unfortunately, they have not gone anywhere. And they can emerge from the depths of the mind at the most inopportune moment.

So that such things do not completely ruin your life, you need to get rid of them. And this can be done again with the help of a carefully prepared conversation.

The husband drank and constantly lied, and you put up with it in silence? Afraid of losing your loved one or just not ready to start a new life with someone else? Much here, of course, depends on the character of the person. If the phlegmatic is hard enough to lose his temper, but the choleric flares up literally from one spark. As a result - a scandal, a divorce and a maiden name. Or an emotional breakdown, tears and - for the umpteenth time! - fragile peace in the family.

If you undeservedly insulted your spouse - of course, you should apologize to him. Even in the case when the offense was completely accidental. And if he sincerely forgives you, you can no longer remember what happened. Or remember only with humor.

• Make a list of mutual claims.

This is not exactly the same as a grudge list. Although, of course, the items in these lists may overlap. For example, if your husband is constantly lying, then this is a complaint and an insult at the same time.

But be careful with listing the qualities that you dislike in your life partner. Some moments you simply cannot endure, but with some weaknesses of your husband, reluctantly, you can come to terms. The key is to be honest when making your list. Perhaps your spouse does not even suspect that some things are just making you mad.

After all, everyone understands love in their own way. Some men are crazy when they are called "cats" and "pushechnik". Others hate it. Some husbands want to be greeted at the door when they come home from work. Others understand that the wife is in the kitchen at the moment - she is trying, preparing dinner for him, and she simply does not have time for all sorts of nonsense.

The wife has her own desires. Some people like to be squeezed and hugged, as if the wedding has not yet taken place, and the child has not yet been born. Others think exclusively about the career of a businesswoman and consider all sorts of "calf tenderness" a waste of time.

• When each of the spouses has written their wishes on paper, it is time to discuss all this.

The most dangerous part of therapy, where you need to act very carefully. It may well happen that both spouses "risk" learning a lot about themselves.

For example, a wife may not suspect that her faithful person does not like the amount of cosmetics she uses. And the husband himself, it turns out, is constantly lying - and does not even suspect about it. The wife is waiting for gratitude for her daily kitchen exploits. A man considers housework a sacred duty of his wife, but he himself does not understand why he is not praised for helping his mother-in-law in the garden.

Sometimes the situation can be straightened out with the right conversation. But there are often cases when one conversation is clearly not enough - after all, in front of the spouses, such problems in the relationship emerge that they never dreamed of.

In this situation, it would be nice to find a topic that is close to both. You can talk about a future vacation or about children, about parents or a joint hobby. The main thing here is not to spend evenings in silence.

Try to sort out your thoughts and feelings. This will make you emotionally stable. If you discuss troubling things with your husband, this will surely help you find a common language in slippery issues.

If you still have even a drop of love for your husband, do not rush to radically change your life, looking for a man on the side. It may not be too late to fix everything.

Start doing everything together: relaxing, cleaning the house, cooking. In this case, the chance that old feelings will return is very high.

And one more piece of advice. Do not bring your family relationships to the court of your friends. Firstly, all people are different - and the life experience of a friend will not help you. Secondly, even the best friends are "sworn". And it's not a fact that in fact they only wish you well.

What men really need from women, see the following video:

If your husband is lying all the time, try the following tips:

1. If you are trying to constantly control your spouse, immediately get rid of this habit. Imagine yourself in his place. Would you like it if your husband was jealous of you for every pole, called every half hour and checked your whereabouts? Each person should have room to maneuver.
2. Does your husband lie all the time? Find the reason for this. Then sit down and discuss the problem with your spouse. Do it calmly, without "assaults" and scandals. Plan in advance the place and time for this conversation. For example, a showdown in public will not lead to anything good.
3. Try to let the man relax during the conversation. A comfortable, pacifying environment in many cases can prevent a looming conflict.
4. Does your husband lie all the time, but doesn't feel guilty at the same time? Then you have a really difficult conversation ahead of you. Or even abandoning it. If the reason for the man's constant lies is that he is simply indifferent to you, is it worth continuing the relationship?
5. Try to treat an isolated case of lies as calmly as possible. Discuss the situation with your husband and agree that this will not happen again. Try to trust each other in the future - in the overwhelming majority of cases, this is the key to preserving the family.
6. If the reason for the husband's constant lies lies in the field of psychology, then there is nothing left but to seek the help of a qualified specialist. To begin with, you can do it yourself, without a spouse. The main thing is not to delay solving the problem.

Thank you for reading this article to the end.

Hi, my name is Yaroslav Samoilov. I am an expert in the psychology of relationships and over the years of practice I have helped more than 10,000 girls meet worthy halves, build harmonious relationships and return love and understanding to families that were on the verge of divorce.

Most of all, I am inspired by the happy eyes of students who meet the people of their dreams and enjoy a truly vibrant life.

My goal is to show women a way to develop relationships that will help them create a synergy of success and happiness!

For some people, cheating is becoming a normal and common occurrence.

Married men are especially fond of concealment and outright lies: this is not always associated with infidelity, but the fact that there is no trusting relationship makes the spouse worry.

Exhausted by multiple male lies, women ask what to do if the husband is lying. But the answers to this question, as well as the reasons for lying, can be many: from a banal childhood habit to an unpleasant secret that is kept from the spouse.

The most common reasons for cheating

You should not make unambiguous conclusions about the nature of your spouse and the specifics of the relationship with him, you should understand the situation. If more and more often not only slight or insignificant lies are heard from the spouse, but also outright blatant lies, then finding out the reasons for such behavior, uncharacteristic for an adult with a stable life position, will be the only correct way to solve the problem.

But what to do: the husband is lying all the time, even if there is no serious reason for this? Some of the most common reasons for an adult man to lie are:

• Fear of being misunderstood. Many men prefer to embellish reality so as not to be ridiculed or misunderstood: few people dare to confess to allegedly "unmanly" actions and hobbies. For example, choosing a new chandelier or blogging. The task of a woman is to make her spouse understand that all his habits and preferences are perceived without reservations.

• Difficulty in relationships. If there is no relationship between spouses, then a lie for a man becomes a way to avoid a quarrel and another conflict - in this case, the issue should be resolved together.

• Boasting. Attracting the attention of a wife and making her admire her husband is another reason for a man's lie: to exaggerate his importance at work, to boast of success in repairing cars - for a man this is not a deception at all, but a way to "dissolve feathers."

• Caring for a woman... Oddly enough, but it is the concern for the peace of mind of their soulmate that often makes men remain silent, dodge and lie. A loving spouse will never tell the truth about the wife's extra centimeters at the waist, about an unsuccessful blouse or tough meat for dinner: since childhood, accustomed to take care and not offend fragile and delicate girls, men are forced to dodge throughout their lives.

How to recognize a dangerous deception?

Lies are not always dictated by concern for a spouse or a desire to avoid conflict. Sometimes the reasons for lying are more dangerous and turning a blind eye to them is fraught with a final breakdown in the relationship.

Tired of multiple lies, women ask the question of what to do if the husband is cheating and lying. To convince a lie and destroy a family or close your eyes and forgive adventures?

Cheating is one of the common causes of marital lying. Some of the men prefer to remain silent and silent. Others - build real castles from lies and remain confident in their inviolability.

Both the one and the other model of behavior betrays a liar and demonstrates to the spouse that there are any difficulties in the relationship. A serious problem in such a situation is the complete reluctance of men to admit the existence of a lie: many, even being caught and caught, continue to lie with inspiration and prove the opposite.

What if the husband is lying, and a thorough lie has no flaws and it is not possible to convict him of it?

In this case, you should act at the call of your heart: many women prefer to live in their own little world and look at it through rose-colored glasses, closing their eyes to adultery and lies, others break off such relationships. It should be understood that the one who lied once will surely lie again.

Solutions to the problem

When a woman thinks about what to do if her husband is constantly lying, she should choose one of the appropriate lines of behavior and perform certain actions based on the decision:

• Talk frankly... It is necessary to understand that without trust and frankness, no relationship can last long, and trust should be mutual. If a woman constantly suspects her spouse of lying, then she can find lies even where there is none. A spouse who does not trust his wife will also lie and dodge where it was possible to simply tell the truth.

• Make a scandal... Many women choose this method of fighting lies, as the most effective, but is it so effective? Of course, after a serious shake-up, the spouse caught in a lie will calm down, but he will not stop lying - he will just start to think over every word more carefully so that the next time he cannot be caught in a lie.

• Lie back... A radical way to show your spouse your despair is to put him in his place. Even the most inveterate liar will not be able to indifferently look at how his wife is deceiving him and hiding something, and after finding out the reasons, you can return to an explanatory conversation.

• Accept your husband as he is. It is important for a man to be loved and understood, so that all his hobbies are taken seriously, and success is pleasing. Give your spouse more attention: he loves football - go to the stadium with him, wants to relax - lie together on the couch, got carried away with modeling - give him a construction kit. Remember that with an understanding wife, the husband will not lie: it will be much easier for him to tell the truth and hear words of understanding.

Deception can destroy everything, including the most prosperous union. But only a woman is able to maintain a fragile unity, help her spouse get out of the veil of lies, restore balance and restore the former understanding.

Trust and boundless confidence in a partner can work wonders by reviving even the most hopeless relationship. Trusting each other is a simple formula for a happy marriage.

by The Wild Mistress's Notes

All people cheat: men, women and children. British scientists have found that people begin to lie from the age of six months. So already six months old children are able to fake laugh or shout in order to attract attention to themselves. Then, growing up, children learn to keep silent, and one-year-olds distract attention with the help of lies. From the age of two, children lie openly, and their favorite phrase is: "It's not me."

The ability to tell a lie is an innate quality. And only by education, the ability not to indulge, but to carefully suppress deception, can this property of human nature be reduced - this is what psychologists believe.

And what to do if you are faced with a lie, and with a deliberate deception of an adult - your husband? Why do men lie? What are the incentives that lead them to cheat? And, most importantly, what to do if we find that your beloved man is cheating on you?

To begin with, immediately tame your anger and do not throw around irresponsible statements such as "I myself never lie." This is no longer true, because the most common lie is the answer - "good" to the question - "how are you?" But we will not talk about the types of deception today, but we will try to understand the incentive reasons for male lies.

Psychologists say that there are many such reasons, and women themselves are to blame for many of them. How? Here is the simplest example: we all want to see next to us a kind of cross between a supermacho and a prince on a white horse, a man who, in the blink of an eye, will solve our any problem, like a magician, will dissolve all the clouds over our head.

And an ordinary man, trying with all his might not to disappoint us, comes up with all sorts of fables, overestimates his social status, financial situation, opportunities - all in order to maintain female interest and attention. Such a man wants to appear taller, better, more competitive in our eyes. Should I blame him so severely for this? Maybe it's better to reconsider your own requirements and, finally, understand that there are no wizards in the world?

The second reason for male deception, called by psychologists, is a lack of attention, our female attention. All people love to be praised, complimented, appreciated and do not skimp on warm and kind words. Men are no exception, but for some reason it is considered the norm to say compliments exclusively to women. So they talk about their real and non-existent successes and achievements, in order to hear a word of praise, to see that we value them, are proud and admire them.

Does this sound ridiculous? And in vain, because if your man is trying to rise in your eyes in this way, to gain attention and understanding, it means that he lacks this in your relationship, and you missed something, moreover, important and serious.

Often men exaggerate, to put it mildly, their busyness. On the one hand, this is dictated by the desire to appear more significant, to emphasize that they are irreplaceable specialists, they are valued and considered. But this lie can also be dictated by the desire to dodge household chores and worries that are not interesting to them. If we noticed this, then we should treat such behavior of the husband carefully, for example, expressly thanking for help, explaining how important it is for you. Try to do household chores together, together, while loading the husband gradually, so that he gets used to the fact that household chores are common for family members.

But there are other reasons that are important to understand in order to have time to correct your behavior and relationships in time, before the deception and the conflict caused by it ruins your feelings. So, many men are introverted by nature, unable or embarrassed to open their inner world to other people, even to those closest to them. And if your pressure and an irresistible desire become painful and too strong, then such a man would rather lie than tell what he does not know how and does not want to talk about. Such lies have no reason other than your excessive pressure. But for some men, the inner world is the most valuable thing in life, so you need to respect their right to inner space.

As a rule, men do not like to talk about their personal life, about the past, and even more so about former relationships, ties with women. This is a property of male psychology, and there is nothing terrible or dangerous about it. Moreover, you yourself can be sure that your relationship, no matter how it develops, will never be publicized.

One of the most common reasons for male lies is having a double life. If your husband has a mistress, then the tangle of lies will grow and grow until he gets entangled in it, or you will not find out the truth in another way. At the same time, your beloved may be sincerely afraid of hurting you with the truth, or he himself still has not figured out or is unable to understand the situation and make a decision. And it can be difficult to abandon a double life for various reasons: either the relationship on the side has gone quite far and is no longer controlled by male desires alone, or the need for adrenaline from this state of affairs has become so necessary that he cannot refuse it.

To avoid hurting a woman, men lie more often than women think. If your loved one knows and understands for sure that the truth will disappoint you or cause anger, resentment, provoke a family scandal, he will not tell the truth and will start to get out and come up with anything to protect family relationships from conflicts and negative emotions.

At the same time, they do not think about what will happen when the truth comes to the surface. The position of an ostrich hiding its head in the sand is just such a deception. For a man at this moment, the main thing is that the truth does not surface here and now, and what will happen next, he does not think about it. Suddenly it will somehow carry over, or, suddenly, then it will be possible to release everything on the brakes.

What does the woman do in this case? Realizing that your loved one is trying with all his might to get away from the scandal, think about it: maybe you swear so often that he no longer has the strength to endure it, and he is trying at least in this way to change something in your relationship?

Each person must decide for himself - to lie or tell the truth. There are no people in the world who have never lied to deception, but deception is different to deception, just as the reasons forcing a person to lie are different.If there is more deception in your relationship than truth, if lies are all that is the main thing and defining in human relations, it is hardly worth continuing them. And they themselves will not last long on such a foundation.