A child's tantrums can sometimes take on a very frightening form: the child can bang his head on the floor, wall or objects, scratch his face, bite his hands until they bleed, etc. He can turn into a real despot - hate his younger brother or sister, show extreme negativism in literally everything - break his favorite toys, and angrily reject the affection of those closest to him. Is this normal or pathological? In what cases should you consult a doctor? How to calm your baby? What measures should be taken to get rid of children's tantrums? Some simple and effective tips.

Age crisis 2-3 years

The crisis of 2-3 years is associated with the emergence of what we call the human personality. The child begins to vaguely sense his “I” and rebels, defining and setting its limits.

The crisis of this age is characterized by such striking features as extreme negativism, obstinacy, capriciousness and stubbornness.

It should be noted that many children are safely spared from all the vicissitudes of the first “growing up”. The following unfavorable factors can serve as an impetus for the development of a crisis:

·birth of a second child;

· previous illness or injury (not necessarily severe);

· troubles in the family (including minor ones);

errors in education;

· moving to a new place of residence.

However, as medical practice shows, in many cases it is impossible to establish the cause of the crisis and all that remains is to explain it as a hereditary factor (which is very convenient, since not all parents know their own genealogy up to the seventh generation).

Basic measures to prevent tantrums in children

Many experts consider the main reason for the crisis of 2-3 years to be the unusually rapid psychological development of the child. At this age, the baby literally absorbs new impressions, every minute enriching himself with new knowledge about the world and himself.

That is why the child needs a clear daily routine. In order to fully rest, the baby must sleep at approximately the same time for a total of at least 12-13 hours a day (10-11 hours at night and 1.5-2.5 hours during the day).

Limit the number of too vivid impressions, especially before bed. At the same time, try to communicate with your child as much as possible. Instead of watching TV, tell him a fairy tale (tell him, not read him - this is important). Instead of going to the circus, take your child to the park.

It is necessary, if possible, to avoid situations that provoke hysteria (joint trips to the store), etc.

Show maximum diplomacy. For example, a child doesn’t want to put away his toys – turn it all into a game. Do not hesitate to be “on an equal footing” with your baby as often as possible - believe me, you will in no way lower your authority in his eyes by playing with him.

If a child shows burning jealousy towards a younger brother or sister, do not panic. Just be patient, a year or two will pass and your children will be inseparable.

And now the elder needs to explain all the delights of his position, which he does not notice. A great reason to praise the baby: “You’re the eldest, you already know how to do this, well done!” At the same time, it’s a good idea to ask the child for a small favor (bring something, etc.) and praise again.

Smile more often and remember that the crisis of 2-3 years, like any crisis in our lives, is just a temporary phenomenon, an extremely difficult, but transitional stage.

The baby is hysterical. Emergency parental assistance

Of course, it is almost impossible to completely eliminate factors that provoke hysterics. This is especially true for walks, accompaniment to nurseries and kindergartens. However, you should pay attention to the fact that very often children are very selective about the public, throwing tantrums exclusively to one of the parents. In such cases, try to adopt positive experiences and figure out what you are doing wrong.

Basic rules of behavior during hysteria:

1. At the first sign, try to distract the child’s attention. The psyche of children at this age is very labile, so sometimes it is enough to show the child some interesting thing for him to “switch.”

2.Keep calm. The hysteria is intended for the public; if the public does not react, the hysteria will stop. The main audience for a child's hysteria is you, no matter how many people are on the street - they are an audience for you, but not for the baby.

3.No matter how difficult it is, do not make concessions under any circumstances. A child prefers to throw tantrums in the presence of strangers only because he knows from experience that in this case you will definitely compromise.

4. Ignore the hysteria, but not the baby - do not drive him to despair with indifference. Talk to him in a calm voice and smile. Don't pay attention to passers-by - they will leave, just like the crisis.

In what cases should you consult a doctor?

Tantrums in children can be the first symptoms of many serious diseases, such as MMD (minimal brain dysfunction), autism, etc.

So if you are doing everything correctly (establishing a daily routine, not overloading the baby with new impressions, all family members support a unified approach to raising a child, etc.), but there are no positive changes, then it is best to seek help from a psychologist or neuropsychiatrist .

You should be especially careful in the following cases:

there were factors predisposing to damage to the central nervous system (pregnancy occurring with pathology, prematurity, difficult birth and so on.);

· there is a delay in physical, mental, speech or social development;

· the baby has little interest in his surroundings, can play stereotypical games for hours (repeating the same movements) and reacts violently to any outside interference in the game.

Surely every parent has at least once encountered children's tantrums. They appear, it seems, for no reason and end just as suddenly, but they cause a lot of anxiety for all adults. Is it possible to prevent an emotional outburst in a child? What to do if your baby is hysterical? Adviсe child psychologist will help tired parents cope with such problems and bring harmony into family life.

Causes of hysterics in children of different ages

To learn how to cope with tantrums in children of different ages, you must first find out their reasons.

Tantrums in a 2 year old child

Two year old child often resorts to tantrums to attract additional attention from adults. He has several effective ways: loud screams, stubbornness, rolling on the floor in places where there is an audience. Psychologists say that such behavior is natural for a small child due to the imperfections of his emotional system. He still cannot express in words his indignation if his parents refuse something or forbid him to do something.

At this age, the baby is already beginning to separate himself from adults, and is also actively studying the world. However, all sorts of restrictions stand in his way, designed to ensure his safety on the street and at home.

The whims of two year old child are often a reflection of their own physical condition: tiredness, hunger or lack of sleep. Perhaps the excess of new impressions has overtired the baby. To calm him down, sometimes it’s enough to just pick him up and stroke his head to distract him from the situation that caused his hysterical behavior.

Admission to preschool, the birth of a younger brother or sister in the family and the divorce of parents can also cause attacks of hysteria. In order to get rid of tension, the baby begins to knock his feet, throw toys around and scream loudly.

Another reason for “bad” behavior may be excessive strictness of parents. In this case, hysteria acts as a desire to resist this style of education and defend one’s own independence.

Tantrums in a 3-year-old child

Especially vivid hysterics, appearing seemingly out of the blue, are noticeable at three years of age. This period, which in psychology is called the three-year crisis, is expressed differently in all children, but the main symptoms are considered to be negativism, self-will and extreme stubbornness. Just yesterday, an obedient baby today does the opposite: he undresses when he is wrapped up warmer, and runs away when he is called.

Frequent tantrums at this age are explained not by a desire to anger parents, but by the usual inability to compromise and express one’s desires. Having received through whims the right thing, the child will continue to manipulate adults to achieve his own goals.

By the age of four, hysterical attacks usually disappear on their own, since the child can already express his feelings in words.

Tantrums in a 4-5 year old child

Whims and hysterics in children over four years of age are often the result of parental educational failures. The child is allowed everything; he knows about the existence of the word “no” only by hearsay. Even if your mom doesn’t allow it, you can always turn to your dad or grandma.

Constant hysterical behavior in a 4-year-old child can be a serious warning sign that there are problems with the nervous system. If a child behaves aggressively during a hysteria, causes damage to himself and others, holds his breath or loses consciousness, or after an attack there is vomiting, lethargy or fatigue, then you should consult a neurologist.

If the baby’s health is fine, then the reasons for his whims and hysterics lie in the family and the reactions of loved ones to his behavior.

Important:

How to prevent hysteria

The best way to deal with a tantrum is to prevent it from happening. And although psychologists say that all children go through these attacks, you can try to reduce the frequency and severity of emotional outbursts.

1. Maintain a daily routine. Young children and preschoolers feel safe when they adhere to a clearly established routine. Hunger and sleepiness are probably the most common causes of tantrums. They can be avoided by following a normal daily bedtime and eating schedule.
2. Prepare your child for change. Make sure you give him notice well in advance of major changes, such as the first day of kindergarten. By giving your baby time to adjust, you will reduce the likelihood of tantrums.
3. Be firm. If a child feels that he can influence your decisions through tantrums, he will continue to manipulate you to get his way. Make sure he knows that you make strong decisions and won't change your mind in response to bad behavior.
4. Review your inhibitions. Before refusing your child's request, ask yourself whether your ban is really necessary. Why not have your son grab a snack if dinner is late? You can avoid a tantrum by simply making him a sandwich. Don't apply rules just for the sake of rules, review the prohibitions.
5. Provide choice. From the age of two, the toddler achieves greater autonomy. Offer him simple choices to make him feel like an independent person. For example, offer your child a choice between oatmeal and cornflakes for breakfast. Just don’t ask a question like: “What would you like to eat?” You risk receiving an answer that is completely unnecessary to you. Ask: “Are you going to eat porridge or cereal?”
6. Pay more attention. For a child, even bad attention is better than no attention. Make sure you spend enough time responding to his basic needs for love and affection.

Let's see how to stop children's tantrums

If the hysteria has already begun...

If the baby is capricious, distract him, find out why he is dissatisfied, try to eliminate the cause of his dissatisfaction. However, the distraction method only works when the hysteria is just beginning. What to do if the child has already entered into an emotional rage?

1. Make it clear that screaming and yelling does not influence you, they will not help change your decision. If the hysteria is not very strong, say: “Sunny, calmly say what you need. I don’t understand you when you scream.” If the hysterical attack is already severe, then you better leave the room. Talk to your baby when he calms down.
2. Try to isolate the child at the very peak of the emotional explosion. If this happens at home, then leave him alone in the nursery, and if on the street, take him to a place where there are no other children or adults.
3. During whims, always behave the same way so that the baby can understand that his behavior is ineffective.
4. Explain how you can express your dissatisfaction in positive ways. From the age of two, teach your child to use descriptions of emotions in his speech. For example, “I'm upset,” “I'm angry,” “I'm bored.”
5. Watch your feelings. Young children are easily infected by other people's emotions. So your aggression can only make the situation worse.
6. Be patient. If tantrums have already become traditional for a child, do not expect that everything will go away immediately after the first time when you leave the room and calmly explain everything to him. To new model established, it will take some time.

You shouldn’t be afraid of tantrums in children; you need to learn to respond to them correctly. If you have already tried all the tips listed in our article and are still seeing angry outbursts in your child, seek professional help.

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How to calm your baby

Every parent has encountered this unpleasant phenomenon - children's hysteria. Some people prefer to ignore children's problems, others begin to get irritated and loudly reprimand the screaming child. But child psychologists are asking parents to be careful: There are two types of children's tantrums, each of which requires a radically different parental response. And it is important to be able to distinguish between them.

Upper brain (upper floor) hysteria

This type of childish hysteria is generated by momentary emotions, strong dissatisfaction or the desire to immediately get what is due. In other words, this is that unpleasant situation when your child suddenly stands up in the middle of the store, screaming and stomping his feet, insistently demanding to buy him a new doll or radio-controlled car. This hysteria is a banal attempt to manipulate the parent in order to achieve what they want. It arises in the upper part of the brain and is completely controlled by the child himself.

In such a hysteria, the child is in complete control of himself and is perfectly aware of what is happening around him, because the cause of the hysteria on the top floor is his own decision to cause it. Even if it doesn’t seem so to the parent from the outside, in this situation his child is completely adequate. This is easy to check: buy your child the toy he wants, and in a split second he will become calm again, and his mood will return to full normal.

The hysteria of the upper floor is a kind of moral terrorism, for the resolution of which there are only two ways:

1. Agree and give the child what he requires.
2. Ignore the hysteria so that the child understands that his performance has no audience.

Psychologists advise to be calm about children's tantrums of this kind. Keep your composure, stay cool. Do not follow your child’s lead so that he does not use such a “dirty trick” in the future to easily and unconditionally achieve his goals. Explain to him in a calm tone that this moment you cannot fulfill his desire. Give compelling reasons, tell us why you refuse, for example, to buy a new car. The child must learn that there is simply no way to fulfill his immediate desire. And that you don't just refuse him in order to insist on your own.

Your child will almost certainly calm down quickly if you do the following:

1. Explain to him that you perfectly understand his desires.
2. Give reasonable reasons for refusal.
3. Emphasize the abnormality of his behavior and promise appropriate punishment.
4. Offer a deal: you will buy your child a car or a doll as soon as possible.

“This doll is really very beautiful and I understand perfectly why you want it so much. But now we don’t have any extra money at all, we can’t buy it today. You are behaving very ugly, I am ashamed of you. If you don't calm down, I'll have to punish you, and then you won't go to the circus this weekend. If you calm down and realize that you are now behaving badly, then we will buy you a doll as soon as we have money for it.”

If your child, even despite all your logical arguments and calm tone, continues to rage and demand his way, then be sure to fulfill the promised punishment. And convey to him the important idea that now he will never get what he wants. And it's entirely his fault!

The child must realize that not all of his desires must come true instantly, but if he is patient and learns to behave adequately, he will eventually get what he really wants.

Lower brain (lower floor) hysteria

Unlike the first type of hysteria, the lower level hysteria is a phenomenon generated by the child’s temporary inadequacy. Strong negative emotions or experiences overwhelm him so much that he loses the ability to think sensibly or impute to his parents' words. This type of tantrum affects the lower part of the brain, completely shuts down the ability to self-control and blocks access to the upper part.

A child's hysteria on the lower floor resembles a state of passion when the upper part of the brain simply turns off and the thought process is blocked. At these moments, the child’s brain functions completely differently, and any words you say simply will not reach his consciousness. The only way to stop this type of hysteria is to relieve mental stress so that the child can recover faster.

It is useless to scold a child, shame him or scream when the lower floor is hysterical! The child will still not be able to understand you.

It is important to help the child get out of the state of real hysteria so that he cannot injure himself or cause serious harm to someone (something). Remember that the child is now completely inadequate! You cannot ignore his condition, leave him alone in the room or walk away with a detached look.

When any sound arguments and logic are powerless, then act in a fundamentally different way:

• Take the child in your arms, hold him tightly to you;
• Quietly and affectionately address him, convince your child that everything is fine now;
• It is better to take the child away from the place where he began to have an attack of hysteria;
• Reassure him tactilely: gentle stroking and gentle hugs are often very effective.

The first priority is the need to return the child to a state of healthy adequacy. And only after he has fully come to his senses can we begin to conduct a calm dialogue. Don't shame your child or try to scold him, because the tantrum may happen again. The parents' task is to find out the reasons why the outbreak of hysteria occurred.

A child who is overcome by a downstairs hysteria first of all needs consolation and parental affection!

“You didn’t want to finish your lunch that much? Didn't you really like the porridge that much? Or were you already full and didn’t want to finish eating? There's no need to be so upset, you could just say that you're already full. Let you tell dad and me when you don’t want to eat anymore, and we won’t force you. Okay, are we agreed?"

A parent must understand that there is a significant difference between when a child is hysterical because of his whims and when he is seriously depressed and upset. It is difficult for an adult to stoop to the level of his child. But sometimes Small child can really get very upset over an insignificant incident or trifle, even fall into a state of bitter melancholy. After the child has calmed down and his upper brain can function normally, the parent should try to calmly talk with the child, provoke a response dialogue, encouraging the child to think logically.

“Even if the food doesn’t seem very tasty to you or if you’re already full, you shouldn’t behave that way. This is very ugly! After all, I tried and cooked for you. You could just say you're not hungry, I wouldn't force you to eat. You can’t lose your temper if you just don’t like something.”

It is at this moment, when the child has previously been understood by you and has received his share of consolation and sympathy, that you can carry out gentle educational measures. The upper part of the brain is no longer blocked, the tantrum is over, and the child becomes receptive to your words and instructions.

How to quickly recognize the right type of tantrum

Not every parent has the skills of a subtle psychologist, so sometimes it can be very difficult to determine the type of children's hysteria unfolding before their eyes. And difficulties arise with choosing your own response. But hysterics can be distinguished by a number of nuances.

False hysteria:

• Do you notice that screaming child listens and understands you;
• The child quickly calms down after threats of punishment;
• The child can be distracted or spoken to, and his attention can be redirected;
• It is possible to come to an agreement with the child;
• Hysteria is more of a demonstrative nature.

True hysteria:

• The child does not understand your words, it is as if he does not hear you;
• He does not calm down even after you promised to fulfill his desire;
• The child tries to harm you or himself, tries to break something, hit someone;
• He cannot control his body, and if he has speech, it is incoherent;
• Hysteria resembles a state of passion.

Remember: sometimes even an adult finds it difficult to cope with his emotions, and for a small child this is often completely impossible.

How to find out the causes of hysterics and be able to immediately prevent them?

All parents periodically face the problem of children's tantrums - tears, screams, rolling around on the floor in in public places puts moms and dads at a dead end. So that your life does not turn into a complete nightmare, and your child stops getting his way with the help of tears, psychologist Victoria Lyuborevich-Torkhova talks about effective methods dealing with children's tantrums:

Many parents are patient with their child's tantrums. But sometimes this behavior of a little person becomes a real disaster, especially when the child shows his protests in front of other people, and the mother, like the baby himself, becomes the center of attention for others. Probably, each of us has seen a situation where a two-year-old child demands something from his parents in a supermarket or on the street, and when adults refuse him, the baby begins to cry hysterically, scream, bite, fight, and some even fall to the floor. The situation is not pleasant, especially for the mother herself, who stands and blushes with shame or anger. Some parents also begin to become hysterical, shouting at the baby, others try to calm the child down, attract his attention with something more interesting, and the third quickly fulfill the request of the little “blackmailer”. Which option would be correct and how to deal with a 2-year-old child’s tantrums? The advice of everyone’s favorite doctor Komarovsky, as well as reviews from parents who were able to cope with a similar problem, will help you understand this situation.

Dr. Komarovsky, in one of the episodes of a television program dedicated to the topic of “hysteria in children,” tells parents that in the process of child development there are several periods of disobedience, the so-called “child crisis.” It is at the age of 2 years that the first crisis begins, when the child begins to express his dissatisfaction with this or that situation to his parents. A child’s hysterical behavior can manifest itself in different ways, but in any case, they appear out of the blue, and it is quite difficult to calm a crying and screaming child.

Tantrums in a 2-year-old child occur during the period when his self-awareness is developing. At this age, the child does not yet have all the language abilities, so he tries to convey his emotions to his parents in the form of gestures, nervous excitement, which causes a loss of self-control. Parents can notice that a child is prone to hysterics much earlier than at 2 years old. For example, when one year old child plays with pyramids or cubes, but he is unable to form the desired figure, he begins to get nervous, throws toys around and begins to roar. Moreover, when his parents offer their help, he refuses and wants to do everything on his own. Adults, in such situations, need to be smarter and at the same time, in order to cope with the baby, they need to learn to control their emotions and not become a role model for their kids, but find a way out that will help the child learn to control his dissatisfaction. Usually, a child’s tantrums go away before the age of 4, but there are cases when they are present at a later age, but then, if the parents themselves cannot cope with the baby, it is worth contacting a specialist who will help find a way out of the current situation and give parents useful tips what to do and how to behave when a child has attacks of hysteria.

What is a tantrum in a child?

Many parents equate a child's hysteria with whims, but in fact, these are two different terms that have similarities. A child’s whims appear deliberately when the child, through manipulation, wants to get what he wants. Hysteria, in turn, consists of a surge of emotions, anger and despair, which are difficult to control.

When a child experiences hysteria, a strong emotional reaction occurs, which begins with a request for something, and when receiving a prohibition from adults, ends with screaming, howling, beating his head on the floor and other unbearable behavior. Parents sometimes find it difficult to cope with such behavior of a child, they do not know how to behave in such a situation and, watching what their child is doing, they quickly do everything that the child wants, thereby making a big mistake, since the child himself will understand that his he will be able to achieve his goals in exactly this way and will become hysterical more and more often.

Dr. Komarovsky is confident that parents must respond correctly to children's hysteria, and learn not only to stop a child's attack of rage or despair, but also to create conditions that will not allow such attacks to occur. The first task for adults is to find out the cause of hysteria, because there are not so many of them.

Causes of hysteria in children 2 years old

Starting from the age of 2, the child tries to build his own line of behavior in the family, asks his parents whether everything is allowed to him and how adults will react to his behavior. Quite often, a child’s hysteria is revenge on his parents for not keeping their promises. Many child psychologists, like Dr. Komarovsky himself, are sure that the parents themselves are to blame for children’s hysterics, who, out of excessive love for the child, allow him a lot, but when they realize that they are doing wrong and try to correct the situation, the child begins to react sharply to refusal and already shows its “character”. Quite often, a child is hysterical not because he received a refusal from his parents, but because something is bothering him in terms of his physical condition. Let's consider the main reasons and situations that can drive a child into hysterics.

Bad feeling. A two-year-old child is not yet able to explain to his parents what is bothering him in terms of health. Sometimes an oncoming cold or viral infection causes body aches, sore throat, abdominal pain and other symptoms in the baby that parents do not notice from the first minutes. Therefore, it is easier for a child to attract the attention of parents with whims or hysterics.

Get what you want. Most common reason childish hysteria, which appears after adults prohibit getting what they want.

Children are quite curious, they want to try everything that they are not allowed to do. A child aged 2 years can travel around the apartment without any obstacles; every corner is interesting to him, as well as those things that can cause injury to the baby. Of course, parents who care about the baby’s health prohibit the use of such things, which causes attacks of displeasure and aggression in the child. Parents may encounter this situation both at home and in the store. For example, when a child sees a bright toy in a supermarket, he will be drawn to it, and if the parents do not allow him to take it or refuse to buy it, the child will show his hysterics right on the spot and become the center of attention of everyone around him.

Lack of attention. Any child requires the attention of their parents, but due to certain circumstances, many adults are forced to work hard to provide for their family, so almost every second child experiences attention deficit. Some are raised by their grandparents, others spend more time in kindergarten. To compensate for their guilt, adults often lavish children with toys and allow them a lot. However, at a certain point, parents begin to understand that their child is spoiled, and when they receive a refusal, hysterics immediately begin. Dr. Komarovsky assures that everything should be in moderation, and parents themselves should learn to say “no” to their child and this should not seem like a punishment to the little one. In addition, adults should always find time for the child, and placating them with toys will not solve the situation in any way, just one day, mom and dad will understand that their child has “gotten over their heads,” and they are no longer able to correct the situation.

Overwork. Each child should have his own routine. How often the baby will be capricious and hysterical depends on how the parents structure their daily routine. Two-year-old children should go to bed at the same time. It’s a good idea to teach your child to take a midday nap. When a child is well-sleeped, healthy and well-fed, he will not be hysterical. Physical fatigue or overexcitement of the baby will always lead to the fact that he will be capricious, have trouble falling asleep, and wake up at night. Many parents turn on cartoons before bed to help their child fall asleep. Komarovsky advises not to do this! It is better to find time and read a fairy tale to your child. When near the baby close person, he feels protected, so he can fall asleep many times faster than with a cartoon.

Parents' mistakes

Many parents feel helpless when their child becomes hysterical because they do not know how to calm the baby down. Dr. Komarovsky is sure that the parents themselves are to blame for the child’s frequent hysterics, since they are ready to do anything just to calm the child, who is only taking advantage of the situation and expects indulgences from adults.

The doctor advises parents that when a child becomes hysterical, do not cajole him just so that he stops the hysteria. Since this behavior of adults will lead to the fact that hysterics will be present more and more often, and the child’s desires and needs will increase each time.

A common mistake adults make when a child becomes hysterical is intimidation with punishments and threats. A child of 2 years old does not yet understand all the threats of mom and dad, and the intonation with which adults will speak when giving out their threats will not calm the baby down, but on the contrary will cause a cry of even greater force. Some adults, even when a child behaves hysterically, behave the same way as their child. They start yelling, shaking or hitting the child. This behavior of adults is also wrong, because with such behavior the child will not calm down, and his already unstable nervous system will suffer even more.

The doctor believes and strongly recommends that parents, in the midst of a child’s hysteria, calm down, wait for silence and try to find out the reason for the child’s behavior. Of course, it is difficult to wait for silence, control your emotions and look at a screaming child who is lying on the floor in a supermarket, but experts assure that in such situations you need to calm the baby down, hug him, try to interest him in something else, but in no case spank him. butt or scream.

From an early age, a child must understand what is possible and what is not. Parents will sooner or later have to teach how to say “no” to their child, so what earlier child will know this word and understand its essence, the less hysterical he will be. Otherwise, as Komarovsky says: “The child will raise the parents!” The doctor takes the right position and advises parents to be moderately tough and authoritarian for their children. At the same time, the child must understand that if adults do not indulge his whims, this does not mean at all that they do not love him. It’s just that everything should be in moderation, only then can a warm and trusting relationship between the child and parents be maintained.

How to respond to whims and tantrums

Parents often feel helpless when their child is hysterical. First of all, they need to “pull themselves together”, not threaten, not shout or apply force to the already crying baby. This behavior of adults will lead to the fact that the little one will accumulate resentment and his psychological state will be disturbed. At correct behavior adults, the child will eventually understand his mistakes and not repeat them.

Dr. Komarovsky advises parents to tell their child “no” from an early age; also, if they have made a decision, it should not be changed, since in this way they show their helplessness in front of the child. If parents poke at the child’s whims every time, then this will lead to the baby going beyond what is permitted and each time his needs become larger. During the period of hysteria, adults should speak quietly, but confidently, so the child will understand that mom or dad firmly stand on their own and have no intention of letting him go.

With the help of crying, a child freely manipulates his parents, so he shows who is in charge. Many are of the opinion that frequent tantrums in a child are the result of improper upbringing. There is some truth in this, since children of early preschool age They always follow the example of the adults who raise them. During a period of hysteria, Komarovsky advises trying to switch the child’s attention to another subject, hug and calm him down, but under no circumstances fulfill his demands at that very moment.

When a hysteria occurs, the child should not be left alone, as he may become frightened and receive psychological trauma. If your baby is hysterical on the street, in a store or in a park, and he does not give in to his mother’s begging, you can take him in your arms, find a calmer place, and hold him close until he calms down. When the hysterical state is over, it is worth explaining to the child that doing this is not good and letting him understand that you do not plan to change your opinion on the ban. In general, parents need to act according to the circumstances, but in any case do not scold the child, and especially not apply physical force.

Dr. Komarovsky believes that no matter how much mom and dad love their child, they need to learn to refuse him from an early age. Love for a child is manifested not in fulfilling his wishes, but in proper education, care and attention to the baby. Parents, like the child himself, need to be taught to compromise, and adults should always give reasons for their refusal and explain to the child why his desire cannot be fulfilled. Of course, it takes time to get results, but if adults are more attentive to their children from an early age, they will not see any hysterics. On the issue of hysteria in a 2-year-old child, Komarovsky adheres to a well-understood position. The doctor believes that adults need to be moderately tough and authoritarian, but at the same time they should not be dictators. Adults should always listen to the child’s opinion and decide together how much their wishes are possible. Mutual understanding and trusting relationships between parents and children will never lead to hysterics.

Probably, many will agree that hysterics appear many times more often in spoiled children, or rather those who do not know abandonment from their parents. The parents themselves explain their behavior by saying that they love their child very much and strive to give him everything that they themselves did not have in childhood. However, it is important for such parents to remember that every year the child’s needs increase, and sooner or later they will still have to say “no”. It is at that time that they will be able to see the child’s reaction and it doesn’t matter how old he is, or 2 or 10 or 20. In families where spoiled children grow up, there is often no respect for parents, while the adults themselves do not understand why they receive such “merits” “, because all their lives they poked at the whims of their children and did everything for their comfort.

In order to avoid hysterical incidents, parents should follow a few tips:

1. Parents need to learn to say “no” to their child, and this needs to be done from an early age.
2. Never compromise your principles.
3. Every family has its own rules, so the child must adhere to them.
4. Don’t change your opinion from “no” to “you can”, “take it”, “I’ll buy it just don’t cry.”
5. If one of the parents has forbidden, the other cannot change their mind and allow what the second adult has forbidden.
6. The correct daily routine for a child, which should not be disturbed: time for sleep, time for walks, games and meals.
7. Ensure adequate and healthy sleep. The child's room should always be clean and ventilated, and watching TV before bed should also be avoided.
8. When a child begins to talk, he needs to be taught to express his emotions with words, and not with hysterical behavior.
9. Always set aside time to communicate with your child or go out together.
10. You should avoid multiple new experiences in one day.

By following such tips and recommendations, you can prevent your child from having tantrums, which not only disrupt the baby’s psyche, but also often put parents in an awkward position in front of other adults. If the parents fail, then it may be worth contacting a specialist who will help understand the situation.

Dr. Komarovsky is confident that parents need to be patient and hysterics in a 2-year-old child will go away on their own. If this does not happen, and the child continues to be hysterical as an adult, it means that something went wrong in his upbringing and the sooner adults can determine the reason, the sooner they can get rid of it. Adults need to analyze the situation, draw conclusions, admit and work on their mistakes and communicate with children as much as possible, because no gift will not notice parental attention and love.

Many parents have encountered such a phenomenon as children's tantrums. At each age they manifest themselves differently and their causes are different. But in any case, all family members suffer, including the youngest.

By the age of 2-3, the baby learns to express his “I” and becomes an individual with his own desires and needs. When the age crisis begins, which peaks at 2.5 - 3 years, parents stop recognizing their child. Their beloved child becomes uncontrollable: he throws tantrums for any reason, on the street and at home.

Why is this happening?

Firstly, a small child acquires new skills and abilities with amazing speed, and learns about the world around him with all its laws and paradoxes. The child's psyche does not have time to adapt to numerous changes in life, and as a result, hysterical attacks occur.

Secondly, children of this age already have their own desires, but do not always know how to express them, much less justify them. Very often, a clash of interests between adults and the child arises, and the child begins to cry or get angry, believing that he is being infringed upon as an individual. In this way, through protest, Krokha shows adults his autonomy.

The causes of children's tantrums also depend on many factors.

• there is no other way to express feelings;
• to attract attention;
• a strong desire to get something;
• fatigue, hunger;
• desire to be like adults;
• poor health, illness;
• excessive severity or, conversely, too much adult guardianship;
• break from an interesting game;
• features of the nervous system.

Parents' actions

A lot depends on the reaction of an adult during this period. First of all, it is important for parents to understand: such behavior is considered absolutely normal for this age. The baby begins to realize that the world revolves not only around him, and sometimes does not want to put up with it. As a result, outbursts of anger, aggression, protest, anger appear.

The emotional situation in the family plays a very important role important role in the further development of the little person. Parents, consciously or not, take various measures to stop this. Someone leaves the baby alone in the room, someone tries to calm him down with explanations. A popular method is to switch attention, but psychologists do not recommend resorting to it. Thus, the problem is not solved, but postponed.

1. You cannot suppress the manifestation of children's emotions, because this is necessary for further psychological development;
2. A child’s actions can be criticized, but not the personality as a whole. The child must be sure that his parents’ love remains, no matter what;
3. You cannot respond with aggression to children's anger and seizures. The baby must understand that such behavior cannot change the world;
4. Prohibitions must be justified and permanent.

The famous pediatrician, Evgeny Komarovsky, whose advice is listened to by a huge number of parents, both in Russia and abroad, advises learning to distinguish whims from hysterics.

The whims of a child are an expression of desires “I want it or I don’t want it,” and hysteria is a manifestation of inappropriate behavior. In the second case, the baby cannot explain what he wants, since his speech may not yet be fully formed.

Dr. Komarovsky claims that the child makes such scenes only in front of those people who are sensitive to them. Children quickly understand who is controllable and who is not. For example, if mom or grandma runs to him at the first sign of indignation, and dad doesn’t react or leaves, then this will only happen again in front of mom or grandma. The kid sees that his hysterics can change the behavior or decisions of some family members, so he will repeat this method achieving what you want over and over again. In such cases, it is important to take care of the child's safety. In a hysterical state, he may involuntarily injure himself.

It is very important to exclude diseases that can provoke this condition. Among the ailments that lead to hysterics are anemia, dermatitis, and calcium and magnesium metabolism disorders. Therefore, consulting a pediatrician will not hurt.

The ignoring method is considered the most optimal in the fight against an uncontrollable seizure. But it is not the child who should be ignored, but his behavior. You should continue to talk in a calm tone, not paying attention to the screams.
You can leave the child’s visibility zone and show your disinterest in such behavior. Dr. Komarovsky also speaks positively about the “time-out” method (angle method), which after two years can be used little by little.

It is also necessary to take into account that family relationships have great importance in overcoming the crisis. If a child from infancy is accustomed to the fact that with every squeak all family members rush to him, making him the center of the universe, then he will do the same at an older age. If mom and dad communicate in a raised tone, then for their child this form of communication will be considered normal. Therefore, it is important to show by example how you can calmly resolve all conflicts.

And the most important thing that parents of such a child should remember: all this is temporary. You just need to try to understand your little one and love him. Any crisis ends with the next stage of growing up. Small man will learn to look at the world around him in a new way, and adults will gain invaluable experience in education.