On the site “Sunny Hands” is aimed at ensuring that a woman can build a strong relationship with a man, so that these same relationships do not fall apart due to basic mistakes. At the same time, naturally, I assume that the man with whom the woman builds a relationship is at least basicly suitable for her.

And such an emphasis, when 95% of articles are aimed at building relationships and not selecting a man, in my opinion, is justified. After all, whatever you say, most men are the most ordinary. (Although there is no need to tell them this. After all, everyone considers himself unique and such that not a single rule applies to him).

However, if you choose the wrong man, then building a relationship with him can be completely impossible. If the choice is truly wrong, then any knowledge male psychology and any effort is pointless. All efforts will fail right choice.

So, the conclusion is obvious, you need to learn how to choose men. I think that no woman has any desire to spend years of effort on something that in the end will only lead to pain and disappointment. And after you have chosen a man, you need to learn how to avoid making a number of mistakes. I wrote about them in detail in the book "23 mistakes with men".

I will immediately answer a frequently encountered objection, which can be heard directly, or through the script of a film or the plot of a book.

Allegedly, a woman may have selection criteria, but when she falls in love with a man, she forgets about these criteria. And since a woman, when falling in love, forgets about her criteria, then these same criteria should not be developed and learned to use them.

What can I say?

Firstly, if a woman says and writes one thing about her ideal man, but falls in love with a completely different one, then she simply does not know herself. That is, if a woman writes to herself or tells others that she likes calm and reliable men, but falls in love with scoundrels, then she simply does not fully understand her desires. And the main desires, as we know, are in our subconscious and we often do not fully understand what is in this subconscious. But your subconscious can be studied and changed.

Secondly, a happy family depends on mutual love by 20-30 percent, no more. Therefore, if a woman falls in love and does not marry the man of her dreams, but then does everything more or less correctly, then there is a high probability of true love and a successful long-term relationship. If a woman constantly falls in love with completely unsuitable men, then she all the more needs to learn to identify these unsuitable ones. After all, if you always fall in love with the wrong people, then how can you build a happy family life?

How to choose a man?

First, listen carefully to what and how the man is talking.

The rule here is: If a man says he won’t do it, then most likely he won’t.. (Or is completely silent on some topic).

First example When a man says that he will create a great business, that he will become rich, that he..., then it is far from a fact that he will succeed. After all, to make it work, desire alone is clearly not enough. You also need certain character qualities, a certain technology, etc.

But if a man says that he is absolutely not interested in business, that he always wants to work for someone, that he cannot become a businessman, or even that he is satisfied with life at the level living wage, then this will happen with a 95% probability.

After all, if a person does not want anything and does not strive for anything, then, with rare exceptions, he will have nothing. And don’t think that you can convince him and change him. Of course, it is possible that a man’s worldview will change, that he will become more ambitious, under the influence of a woman, among other things, but this is rare. Usually a man already has some ambitions, but lacks self-confidence, which a woman often gives him.

The second example, which is closer to the topic. A man talks about marrying a woman. It's not a fact that this will happen in reality, but it's a start good sign. (Of course, if he does not say this in the course of seduction in order to lure a woman into bed. If so, then there is a high probability that the man’s words are nothing more than hot air).

However, if a man says that he will never marry, that all men who get married are fools, and that a single lifestyle is the best for a man, then this is most likely true.

Women who do not believe these words and believe that they can marry such a man are almost 100% mistaken. And again, I'm not saying that a man won't change his beliefs. It is possible that in 5 years he will begin to think differently. Perhaps in 5 years he will get married.

But are you ready to wait these 5 years? And will this man marry you or another woman in five years, that is the question. Of course, there are such cases with a happy outcome. But this is quite rare, like winning in a lottery that you shouldn’t even count on.

So, if a man says he will do something, then maybe it will happen, maybe not. If a man has a sharply negative attitude towards something, then he most likely will not do it.

James Bonds, who do, but at the same time remain silent about their exploits and do not brag to women, in real life very little.

What to do with this rule? If we return to the first example, where money is not important for a man, meditation or something else is important to him and he is quite happy with life at the subsistence level, that is, extreme poverty. However, another rule of life says that “Love passes, but you want to eat every day.” Therefore, if you marry such a man, have children, and then naturally, tired of lack of money and the fact that you work a lot, begin to demand that the man start earning money, then he can quite rightly tell you that he warned you .

After all, he actually warned you that a cup of rice a day, some torn pants and a sofa were enough for him. (Well, maybe also a TV or a computer game) What else do you want from him? Do you want him to earn enough for three cups of rice a day? Well, excuse me.

Therefore, if you want a man to provide for your future family at least the bare minimum of material comfort, then such a man, of course, is not suitable for you. Again, I'm not suggesting you marry for money. Just understand that a happy family life and a chronic need for money are not compatible, no matter how much you study other rules family life.

In the second example, if you want to get married, then a man who does not want to get married and openly declares this is also clearly not suitable. And vice versa, if you don’t want to get married (you really don’t want to), which is quite rare among women, then such a man may well suit you. He obviously won’t distract you from your career and pester you with marriage proposals, etc.

After reading the first rule, you may think that I am saying completely obvious things, such as that the earth is flat and that the sun revolves around the earth. However, life says completely the opposite. The simplest things are far from obvious, and even if they are obvious in theory, they are not applied in practice. Put the obvious things into practice and life will immediately become easier.

Secondly, look at what the man does.

If a man wants to do or achieve something in words, then that’s not bad. However, words are one thing, but actions and real results are another.

Take a close look at the actions of men in general in life and towards you in particular. A man's words will give you some basis for what a man will not do, but a weak indication of what he will be able to do.

Only by actions and results can a person be fully correctly assessed. A correct understanding of actions, of course, requires a certain life experience, but if you practice little by little, you will soon learn to separate empty chatter from actions.

In summary, the rule is that only by a man’s actions can one more or less reliably determine what he really is like.

I have repeatedly met people in my life who had an extraordinary talent for telling stories. beautiful stories about how they will do something. They could tell these stories to me and, of course, to women. If you listen to their magical stories, it seems that the fairy tale has practically come true. You just need to give this person money or, if we are talking about a woman, then love.

As a rule, such men have some kind of charm, charisma and self-confidence, otherwise no one would listen to them or believe them.

However, some time passes, and we see that there is no result. This usually does not bother the “storyteller” at all and he continues to tell another “fairy tale” as if nothing had happened.

Therefore, a man’s charm is a wonderful quality, but still The main attention should be paid to the man’s actions, not his words!

For example, you want to determine whether a man likes you or not. The words of men here are not an indicator of this at all. Indeed, in this situation, men never tell the truth, but lie more or less (and women do not need those who do not lie or embellish reality).

Therefore, we need a more precise criterion to separate those who really like you from those who are simply flirting out of boredom and would not mind having sex if possible.

And this criterion is only the actions of a man. I repeat once again that any words a man says should not be taken as an indication that he likes a woman. Such criteria can only be his actions.

What are the actions of a man? It would seem that nothing could be simpler. Actions – this is when a man invited a woman to dinner, actions are when a man gives gifts, actions are when a man, in communicating with a woman’s friends, managed to impress them, right?

No, that's not true. It was precisely these kinds of actions that I least of all had in mind. If a man does what is described above, then this is more likely the result of training, when the man learned what a woman likes in the first meetings, than an indicator that he truly likes the woman. (Although it will go along with other actions).

In short, it’s usually:

— an attempt to help a woman in a particular situation;

- actions to be with her (solves housing problems, saves and buys an apartment);

- changes in some habits in oneself or even character traits that are unpleasant to her (becomes more careful, washes more often, stops swearing in front of a woman, etc.);

- achieving success in an area that is important to a particular woman;

- a normal reaction to refusing sex in the first 1-5 meetings.

Now, if we return to success or other other achievements. Achieving some success in life also requires action. And not just actions, but these actions must be long-term, quite intense and, in addition, the ability to learn is important.

Is your potential or existing man capable of such actions? Has he already achieved any results in life? It is better, of course, that these results were caused precisely by his actions, and not just by external pressure. (For example, as in sports they are largely caused by external pressure from the coach. Or as in education, when parents pay for a university and force their child to study).

We are not even talking about outstanding results. But a man must be able to put effort into something for at least several months in order to achieve something in life.

A few more examples of how to choose a man and what you should pay attention to when choosing a man.

— If a man communicates too much with his parents, especially with his mother (it doesn’t matter whether they have a good relationship or not), if he blames others for all his failures, then most likely he psychological child on development.

It will be quite difficult to rely on such a man in life and get support from him. To some extent, this can be corrected if he is still young and 20-25 years old, but if he is over 30, then it is much more difficult.

- If a man is rude to you, then most likely he does not respect you. Of course, rudeness and rudeness are different. Periodic clashes occur in any family. But if this is an ordinary situation for your relationship, and the man at the same time shows rudeness and outright rudeness, then he does not respect the woman or has ceased to respect her for some reason. Why this happens is another question, but the fact remains.

- If a man responds to your requests for help and is ready to spend his time, money and nerves on you, then this means that he most likely likes you.

So, words are already something. Words are better than nothing at all. But nevertheless, words remain just words. And you can only understand what kind of man a man is by his actions.

Interpreting a man's actions to women is sometimes not as easy as it seems. After all, men sometimes act completely illogically, by the standards of women. (For example, they remain silent when they are not offended at all, etc.). But nevertheless, there are standard sets of actions by which one can understand that a man likes a woman, that a man will become more or less wealthy, that a man is ready to get married, that a man is jealous, that a man is extremely selfish in life, etc.

Study these actions.

I warn you right away that there is no need to rush from one extreme to another. A man's words, of course, are always different from what he actually does. Of course, not all plans come true, not everything comes out of what he said. Even the most successful men estimate that they achieve about 30-40% of what they planned. But 40% or even 20% may already be good. (We are, of course, not talking about everyday promises, such as how to go on a date, but about life plans for several years ahead. The promise to go on a date should be kept in 99% of cases).

Third, shared values.

I understand values ​​in the broadest sense of the word. These include habits, morals, attitude to life, life experience before meeting, mutual acquaintances, etc.

It is very difficult for two people who have completely different values ​​to live together in the same apartment. If the values ​​are still different, then first one and then the other partner will constantly and unconsciously “step on” the other’s sore spots, and will not even understand what is happening. And then someone, often a woman, may get tired of it.

For example, a woman believes that when eating, you need to hold the fork in your left hand and the knife in your right (or vice versa, it doesn’t matter), but for a man, the most delicious meat is when it is eaten with your hands and at the same time smacked your lips with pleasure. If a woman doesn’t care how a man eats, then that’s one thing, but if she cares about observing these, in her opinion, minimum rules of etiquette (which is a value), and the man’s behavior is disgusting, then life together between them will be very difficult. Three times a day, a man will make a woman unpleasant, the woman will be offended or even swear, and everyone will consider himself right.

If you think that because of such “little things” people don’t quarrel and disagree, then you either don’t know life well, or you move in a very narrow circle where all people are similar to each other (not in character, of course, but in values) .

As you probably already understood, it is not just some rule of life that leads to conflict between men and women, but only if one of them considers this rule for some reason very important and does not want to change their views.

What other examples can you give?

— A woman may think that she should be the most important thing for a man, and a man may think that his parents come first, and then his wife. (This may not necessarily manifest itself in words, more often in actions, when your partner is not on your side, but takes the position of parents).

— A woman believes that it is necessary to be as honest with people as possible, and a man believes that only fools live without deception and at any opportune moment he sets up his friends and partners without any remorse.

— A woman believes that it is acceptable for a man to drink one hundred grams of vodka once every 2 months, and a man believes that it is acceptable to drink a bottle of vodka twice a week.

Now an example of a conversation between a man and a woman with different values.

- Darling, Why are my socks under the chair a disaster, and your flowers, living throughout the apartment in compressed pieces of dirt, are an element of the interior?

Why does the empty pan in the refrigerator surprise you, but do you think it’s normal to pour soup from a large pan first into a medium one, then into a small one, and finally into a bowl?

Why do you ask me to take you to meet my friends, and then whine that you are bored, tired and want to go home?

Where did you get your confidence that I was born with a diploma as an electrician and plumber?

Why do you snort contemptuously when you see Seagal in an action movie on the TV screen and are mortally offended that I don’t want to watch another melodrama with you?

Why do you get so annoyed when I look into pots and pull food out of it and get so angry if I'm not interested in your cooking?

(As you probably already guessed, this is an anecdote, but quite a real one).

I won't give any more examples. And it’s clear that there could be a couple of hundred of them. Because of any of this, as you probably already understood, quarrels, irritation and even divorce can arise. Whether strong quarrels or not depends on how important the man or woman considers these values.

People with different values ​​(mentalities) are not interested in talking to each other, they can constantly get irritated with each other over “little things”, it is difficult for them to move towards something together, etc. At the same time, individually, a man and a woman can be quite good people, but it will be difficult for them to live together.

When you fall in love, it seems that different values ​​are not important. However, strong love passes after a year or two, and then different values ​​come to the fore and begin to guide the happiness of a man and a woman.

Now let's get back to choosing a man. If your potential man is radically different from you in attitude to life, in values, mentality, previous experience, etc., then it will be very, very difficult for you to live together, if not impossible. This needs to be understood. If we are talking about sex, love, meetings for a period of several months, then this may not be so important, but if we are talking about family life, then think a few times.

There are several options for behavior if values ​​are very different. The first is not to date closely with men whose values ​​are completely different from yours. This is, if possible, the best and the right way. The second way is to completely adapt to the man and change your ideas about life. This is not very simple, especially if the woman is over 30 years old. I myself have never encountered a complete restructuring of a person’s values ​​in my life, but I read on the Internet stories of women who married Turkish men, etc. men, where they learned to resemble Muslim women in behavior and appearance and did not even seem to feel discomfort from this.

The third way is to remake a man’s values. This option is partially possible, but even a partial alteration of values ​​is usually a long and painful process.

The simplest thing is not to create problems for yourself that will then need to be solved for years and cannot always be solved. Find men with similar values ​​and you will make your life ten times easier.

How to identify a person's values? This is usually quite simple. A person with different values, even if you like him, is usually perceived as a “stranger.” You don’t understand him at all, it’s clear that he doesn’t fully understand you either, this person may be offended for reasons unknown to you, etc. (Of course, distinguish between misunderstandings due to the different psychology of men and women and different values).

In addition, you can talk to him on various topics, from attitude towards parents, household responsibilities, raising children, about the films and books that he reads and you can understand that he is completely different. (Not different in character or even in hobbies, please note. This is often good, but different in worldview).

In summary, if a man is fundamentally different from you in values, then he is most likely not suitable for you. And the older you and the man are, the less flexible you are, the stronger and stronger this rule becomes.

Of course, these criteria are not limited to what needs to be taken into account when choosing a man, but the article is already too long. Therefore, I decided to write the second part of the article, read “How to choose a man? Which men are not suitable for long-term relationships. (Part 2)"?

Best regards, Rashid Kirranov.

Every woman who wants Serious relationships, the situation of choosing a partner is familiar. For some, the choice occurs on a subconscious level, while others first analyze the qualities of a man’s character in order to understand whether it is possible to be happy with him. We will tell you further about what to pay attention to if you need a long and harmonious relationship.

If you found your ideal partner in your youth (18-20 years old), successfully married him and are happy in your marriage, you can only be congratulated - you are very lucky. There are many more situations when a woman comes to an understanding of what kind of partner she needs only through trial and error, at the cost of unsuccessful relationships and novels, and disappointments in men. After all, someone who at first glance seems charming and sweet does not always turn out to be a really good partner in a relationship.

How can you understand that a man will be a good partner and if several men are courting a woman, and in general, each of them is good in their own way? Which man should you pay attention to after just a few dates, at the very beginning of a relationship? After all, if you make a choice in favor of one man, it means you will refuse all the others.

This is why you need to choose your partner carefully. No one knows how they will turn out and whether they will lead to marriage, but there are some general signs of the person with whom there is every chance of a good partnership:

1. General life values

You share the man’s position in life. You have the same moral and ethical values. You are not confused about his actions. There are no situations in which there is a contradiction between his actions and your moral values. You are not horrified by his actions and do not ask questions, “Whaaat? Why did he do this, why did he do this?

2. Material status

Quite often situations arise when a woman chooses between two candidates. Whom to choose, ? The answer is simple - don’t look at your material status, look at your attitude towards yourself. This is very important for a harmonious relationship, and it is much more important than a man having a car, an apartment and a yacht.

If a man is rich, says that he loves you (we emphasize, he says it, but does not prove it with his attitude and actions), but at the same time allows himself constant reproaches and criticism towards you, becomes the initiator of quarrels and conflicts, and will always find a reason to reproach you for something “So, is it worth saying that the relationship with him will not be trusting and warm?

3. Hope that your partner will change

As the joke goes, “darling, if it weren’t for you, we would be an ideal couple.” Do you like your partner? Right now, as he is? Or I like it, but... if he changes his behavior, attitude, views... then yes, then he will like it. If so, then this partner is not yours. Minor character flaws (see) can be corrected, but you are unlikely to change serious life beliefs and the mature character of an adult. In extreme cases, he may change his behavior for a while to please you, but after a while everything will return to normal.

Therefore, it is important to understand that you want to be with him exactly as he is now. , you get exactly the partner who is in front of you (and not who he will be when he changes).

4. The character of a man

To choose a truly good partner, you need to look at character, not just a charming personality. Charm is a rather superficial thing (albeit attractive). But charm does not guarantee that a man will treat you well. This can only guarantee a man's good character.

In addition, a man who has charm and at the beginning of acquaintance seems simply ideal and perfection is a good reason to think about it. This may be a signal that behind external charm he is trying to consciously hide the negative aspects of his behavior and character. Will a man who possesses such character qualities as kindness, reliability, courage, try to seem charming to everyone? Most likely no.

He does not need to prove anything to others, and he does not try to win everyone over. Character is what you need to pay attention to first.

5. Try to imagine him as the father of your children.

Do you like the way he treats you? Does he happily tinker with them and play with them, or, on the contrary, avoids them? Also pay attention to how he treats those who depend on him and those who are lower in status - this can say a lot about him. He will behave in approximately the same way in the family - after all, the children will depend on him, his decisions, behavior, and upbringing in the same way. If at work he yells at his subordinates, then where is the guarantee that he won’t behave like one in the family? Both in relation to you and in relation to the children.

If you see certain negative character traits in a man’s behavior (see), but at the same time he is also sweet and charming, and you don’t know whether you should continue a relationship with him or not, just imagine him as the father of your children. If you forgive him for criticizing or raising his voice towards you, attributing it to his fatigue at work, think about whether you can come to terms with such an attitude not even towards yourself, but towards your common children?

And vice versa - perhaps your man has a kind and patient character, and you can easily imagine him next to a child? Look at the man from this side. After all, in fact, you really choose not only a husband for yourself, but also a father for your children.

6. Harmony in relationships

You should feel calm around this man. Not in the “boring” sense, but calmly - that is, when he is around, you don’t worry about anything. You know that he will always support you. You have mutual respect for each other. You may disagree with your partner, but at the same time you continue to respect his point of view. should be a place where you can hide from the storms of life, and this depends on both the woman and the man.

If a man is conflictual, aggressive, if when communicating with him you have to constantly defend yourself from his attacks (even if they are passed off as jokes), if you often catch yourself having to be constantly ready to “repel an attack” - then a family with such a man will be not a safe haven, but a permanent boxing ring. And it’s unlikely that such a relationship will last long. Do you need it? After all, trust in a partner is one of the foundations of a harmonious relationship.

A happy family life is the result of constant work and also choosing the right one, i.e. the right partner for you. We hope that the advice from the women's portal will help you find exactly the man with whom you will be truly happy!

Good afternoon to my beloved readers!

How to choose your future husband so as not to make a mistake?
And is it necessary to choose it at all? It’s like with us: whoever she fell madly in love with is her husband, or whoever called first is the one she married. How can you choose someone if love hits you over the head? Or vice versa, why live with the right person, if it doesn’t give you butterflies in your stomach?

But attraction and passion are one thing, but strong family creating is something else entirely. A person may be suitable only for the first, but not for the second, and vice versa.

After 1-3 years, passionate attraction, which was on its own without our efforts, ALWAYS passes. And then you have two options: either look for a new man, or create true love And great family with the person who is nearby and the father of your children. And to create this greatest love, you need a desire, which will not exist if your husband turns out to be completely different from the person you need. Therefore, it is better to choose in advance and literally forbid yourself to fall in love with unsuitable people.

You will have to spend your whole life with this person. Many are sure that they will easily get divorced if something goes wrong, but this does not always work out. Having children together changes everything a lot, and nothing will be “simple” anymore. In addition, there is no point in getting married if you initially accept divorce and are not determined that family is once and for all. It will turn out to be a frail little family. And in general, a breakup is always painful.

The stage of choosing a husband is the last one, when you look at a man’s shortcomings literally under a microscope. And the advantages just need to be kept in mind.
After starting a family, everything is backwards: you will need to closely examine its advantages, but it is better to completely forget about its shortcomings. Well, or just take them into account so as not to demand from your husband something for which he is not fit.

In the selection process, it is harmful to consider only the advantages and hope that the shortcomings themselves will “resolve” after the wedding or the birth of a child. Alas, most girls do exactly this, and then suffer and get divorced. I think you don't need this.

How to wisely choose a man to live with and start a family? What pitfalls await you?
Read the article until the end and I hope it helps you the best way make the most important choice of your life.

Love or calculation?

This topic explodes the top questions about family and marriage. Modern girls literally cannot sleep in torment - who should they marry? For that bald, chubby guy with a fat wallet and a Mercedes, or for the penniless guy next to you, but with a great sense of humor?
Both of these extremes are unlikely to bring happiness. As always, the truth is somewhere in the middle. You shouldn’t ignore the material side of the issue and give in only to feelings, because you still have to give birth to children from him and sit on maternity leave without your own income. It’s not very pleasant, do you agree?

And at the same time, being guided only by the size of your wallet, despite the fact that the man himself is disgusting to you, is a failed tactic. With such “income Petrovich” you are unlikely to find happiness, but you will regularly want to go to the left. And this is a bad foundation for creating a family, no matter what anyone tells you about free modern morals.

How to find that same average? A man with whom you will feel good in your soul and in bed, and you won’t be left without a piece of bread? To do this, you need to pacify the crowd of butterflies in your stomach, exhale and soberly evaluate your boyfriend.

Refer to the past

Think about your past relationships and the people you had them with, as well as the men who surround you. What qualities do you admire in them? What would you like to see in your husband? What would you definitely not want?
Write down on a piece of paper 3 qualities of these people that you personally like and 3 that you would never accept in your future dream man.

One of my personal criteria when choosing a man was the absence bad habits, especially smoking - I will not tolerate this under any circumstances, well, that’s my thing, “personal cockroach.” Think about what your man must have and what he definitely shouldn’t have? But don’t get carried away - a maximum of 3 points, otherwise your choice will be reduced too much, and you will only be able to find one in a fantasy land.

Next, analyze your current boyfriends - who fits these criteria? If the choice is small, think about where you can meet the one you need. It’s stupid to come to meet someone at the market, for example, and wait there to meet an aristocrat. Luck, of course, has not been canceled, but the chances are minimal.

And when you have decided on these points, do not lower your bar under any circumstances. After all, you only have three points in the pros and three in the cons! No matter how charming and handsome he is, he will have to undergo this initial face control. If he doesn’t suit you, then immediately, before you fall deeply in love, pass by, period. It is a huge stupidity to start a relationship with the wrong person and expect him to change and become suitable. He is an adult with his own unique set of qualities, and he did not come into this world to fit in and become comfortable for you. For someone else, it will be ideal in exactly the configuration that he has.

Of course, there are qualities that can be changed over time. But this is very difficult, and most often it fails. Is it worth it for you to waste your life and nerves on remaking another person? And how much you will ruin his nerves while you prove that he is not at all what he should be. More precisely, not the way YOU need. In this case, maybe it’s easier to look for more?

7 Questions You Must Ask Yourself When Choosing a Husband

Let's play seven-flower with you. I'll give each question a color to make it easier for you to remember what it's about.

Red. Appearance. Does his appearance suit you? A question that cannot be answered immediately on the first date, otherwise you will fall into a trap. In a trap in which thousands of women are stuck, who are led by a man’s appearance. Remember, even if he is crooked and squinty, he can be quite an interesting, purposeful and sexually attractive man. If on the first date the sight of him didn’t make you sick, then give him 3-4 more dates. If even after them you still can’t come to terms with his appearance, then the next one! Well, what can you do... You definitely don’t need to force yourself.

The same goes for the “handsome guys”. There is a stereotype: “ Handsome man- someone else's man." To some extent I agree with this, but this does not happen 100% of the time. Handsome people can also be loyal, interesting and loving. Therefore, take a closer look at a particular man, observe his behavior and attitude towards you, and only then draw conclusions.

Orange. Passion and sexual harmony. Do you want it? I mean are you physically attracted to him? However, it is not at all necessary to immediately test this experimentally. It’s enough to understand: does anything in your lower abdomen move when you see him? When he takes your hand, hugs you, accidentally touches you? If not, then there is no need to start. Otherwise, you will be stuck in a bland relationship with no spark. This also does not always become clear on the first date; sometimes this point appears later. Therefore, if everything else suits you, give it at least a month.

In the future, also take into account some time for “sexual grinding in”; not everyone is perfect the first time. Sexual harmony may not work out if you need completely different things in bed. For example, one of you might like classics and romance, another might like extreme sports and “dirty games.”
Sexual temperament is no less important. It is unlikely that you will be able to be happy if, even initially, sex once a month is enough for one person, and three times a day is not enough for another.

In my opinion and from the experience of many women who came to my coaching, harmony in bed is one of the most important conditions happy relationship. Without this, everything falls apart. Therefore, I recommend that you include this item in the very list of three mandatory qualities of the man of your dreams.

Yellow. Determination. Does he strive for something specific in life? What does he want to achieve and in what ways? Will he ultimately be able to provide for you during maternity leave? If not, what is he doing right now to improve his financial situation? Does this person have growth prospects and how will what he does affect your life together? Never agree to a relationship with a person who does not know what he wants or whose goals are very vague. Such a person will always say one thing, do another, think a third and dream of a fourth. You will never be able to please him, because he himself does not know what he needs from life in general and from you in particular.

Green. Unconditional support. Love is supporting a person in what he wants most in life. What makes him happy and reveals his potential. What do you want? What makes you happy? Are you ready to give all your inspiration and love to this man's goals? Does this coincide with what he likes at least partially? Are you ready to support his aspirations? Are you ready to devote a significant part of your life to his business and do everything to make him the best in this business? If he plays tanks all day long, are you willing to do anything to make him the world leader in this game, or are your ideals a little different?

Opposites, of course, attract, but more often than not they repulse with no less force, saying goodbye to each other: “We are too different.”

Blue. Communication and interest in his personality. Are you interested in communicating with each other? Can you talk all night and not notice how time flies? This point follows directly from the previous one. If you have common interests and aspirations, then you will always be interested in communicating. And in 3 years, and in 5 and in 10 years! He will become your best friend, and you will become his. If you don’t have at least some common hobbies (one likes to relax on the couch, and the other likes to jump around unknown places), then most likely you will quickly be overtaken by a wave of misunderstanding and you will have nothing to talk about.

How interesting is this person to you as a person? If you already feel bored on the 4th date, then try to imagine what awaits you in a couple of years.
If you already understand everything about a person and there is no mystery in him, then most likely you will quickly become fed up with this relationship and become bored.

I’ll also write about how to remain interesting for your beloved man, so subscribe to the newsletter on VKontakte, or in Telegram, or, then you won’t lose the article.

Blue. His masculine qualities. Pay attention to WHAT exactly attracts you to him.
External beauty, kindness, modesty, lightness, sense of humor, gentleness, responsiveness, compliance, grooming, sentimentality, romance, tenderness, emotionality are amazing human qualities, but they are still more valuable in a woman.
Courage, intelligence, strength, perseverance, talent, responsibility, the ability to achieve one’s own, desire for development, self-control, purposefulness, confidence, desire to win, determination, strong-willed character, endurance are no less amazing human virtues, but they are still especially attractive then , when inherent in a man.

Every man is beautiful with his own unique combination of different qualities, but still think about what you value most in your man.

If you are touched by his endless kindness, humor and gentleness, and masculine qualities as such, he only has a couple, and then a little at a time, then, most likely, you will soon be disappointed in him as a man. Especially if the so-called “feminine” qualities are clearly expressed in you and you value them in yourself. It’s good when a man is kind and has a sense of humor, but it’s best if this is just a pleasant addition to his determination, responsibility and desire to win.

But kind and gentle men will perfectly complement strong-willed and purposeful women. So the whole question is what kind of man are you and what kind of man do you need (again, back to that list of three the most important qualities your ideal).

Violet. Similar values. A conflict of values ​​has never graced a single couple. Values ​​refer to such basic concepts as family, responsibility, love, honesty, etc. For example, do you believe in higher power, go to church and say a prayer before eating, and he is a convinced atheist and trolls you about this. Or your beloved is an ardent admirer of the current political regime and his country, and you consider yourself a “child of the world” and generally do not recognize racial and state borders, dreaming of living in all the countries you can get to. Or your man is proud that he knows 1001 legal ways of taking money from the population (and just as many outright illegal ones), and you “suffer” from crystal honesty.
What then? Endure and fall in love does not work here. Look for people of your own “breed”. Not a copy of you, but with differences that will complement you and not contradict your core values.

What are his and your views on how many children there should be and on their upbringing? In your opinion and in his opinion, who should check lessons and play with children? Is it possible to beat children for “educational” purposes? Is abortion possible in your family and in what cases?

Should the vacation be separate, together, or whatever? How should you spend your weekend (in your and his ideal sense)? Are separate residences and frequent and long business trips acceptable?

Is jealousy acceptable in your family, and in what cases? Phones and social media Should they be password protected or should you both know each other's passwords? Is friendship, correspondence and flirting with the opposite sex possible? What about your exes?
What is cheating for you, what are the boundaries? And for him?

Who brings money into the house and who runs the household? Who manages the family budget? Should all spending be “accountable”, or can someone have their own personal stash?

Is it acceptable for you and him to live with your parents and in what cases? Is it possible to take money from them, or, on the contrary, do you have to support them? Can your parents interfere in your life? Is it acceptable to ask them for advice and complain about family problems?

If it turns out that the values ​​are still different, you have the following options:

🔶 try to adapt and change yourself. But remember, if you yourself are a bright personality, then “refashioning” yourself completely to suit him is the same as dying and being born again in someone else’s skin;

🔶 convince him to change. Such miracles happen extremely rarely, and only when the man himself wanted it. But even if you miraculously succeed, you risk getting more problems, than the benefits;

🔶 accept him as he is, and support him in his aspirations that are opposite to yours, and also try to do everything so that he accepts and does not try to remake you. This option often turns out to be impossible, because it is unrealistic, for example, in one family to raise children according to two options at once;

🔶 do not get involved in a relationship that is doomed in advance to many scandals, and look for someone more suitable.

Don't get your hopes up too much about his changes. These tales of miraculous dramatic changes in men are so rare that they do not even deserve attention.

So, using these seven basic signs, you will determine who is right for you based on the main points. Next, look at your family and environment young man.

We meet “by clothes”

Only in in this case This does not mean real clothes or appearance, but the family and environment of the young man. “Tell me who your friend is, and I will tell you who you are.” This ancient wisdom still works today.

Take a close look at your future husband's family. How do your parents live? Like roommates or people with common values ​​and interests? What is accepted in this man’s family: a conservative approach or freedom of morals? Is it important for them to gather at the same table three times a day for meals or does everyone decide this issue independently and live their own lives?

You will be surprised, but all this leaves an imprint on your chosen one that you will have to reckon with throughout your life. Even if, in appearance, your future husband does not communicate very well with his relatives. Programs embedded in your head since childhood will work automatically. Are these people generally pleasant to you? What about you? If your family is fundamentally against you or your relatives are not happy with your choice, then most likely there will not be a happy relationship between you. The barrel of honey of your love will always be with a heavy tar of misunderstanding of relatives and pitting you against each other.

And, of course, carefully look at your sweetheart’s best friends - his entourage. If his friends are successful, purposeful guys with wives or permanent girlfriends, this characterizes him directly. But if his friends are reckless partygoers who change girls like gloves, then draw conclusions about your chosen one.

How does he treat children?

This is a fundamental point, so let’s talk about it again. It doesn’t matter at all whether you personally want children or not, your future husband should be of approximately the same opinion. It is clear that it is quite difficult to find a man who wants to have children right now. But, if you are planning them, then he should at least not be against it in principle. It’s easy to check: take him with you to a friend who has a child and watch how he behaves. If you shy away from a baby, like from Freddy Krueger, this is a serious reason to think about it.

And vice versa, if you don’t want children, but he really wants heirs and generally likes to mess around with kids, don’t expect him to change his mind for the sake of your relationship. He may even change, but he won’t be fully happy.

Is it adequate?

In no case, under any circumstances, should you marry people who are mentally ill or have addictions (drug addicts, gambling addicts, porn and Internet addicts). These also include: criminals and those prone to crime, psychopaths, aggressive people (including those who want to offend not you, but other people), those who want to lock you up at home, womanizers, psychological vampires, whiners and critics in severe forms, narcissists, manipulators, inadequate jealous people, emotionally unbalanced and others with whom it is basically impossible to get along, no matter how hard you try.

Passion for such men can sometimes be bright and all-consuming, but they are not suitable for starting a family. In a relationship, it is important to be able to talk and negotiate, wait, be supportive, and this requires balance and a calm perception of the world. A person who, at the slightest provocation, shouts or, on the contrary, remains silent for a long time, does not know how to negotiate, is not suitable for these purposes.

How does he feel about money?

This point is not even about the thickness of the wallet, but in general about a man’s relationship with money. After all, in essence, a man’s money = his energy. How he handles it, does he pinch it when he touches something you need. Is he able to earn enough for a family of three or four people? Does he strive to save up, and for what exactly? Or does he spend it all at once as soon as he gets his hands on the crisp bills?

Almost half of all divorces happen due to conflicts around money, and in particular due to the lack of this very money. It’s better to evaluate this parameter at the entrance, realize the problem and talk to a man about it, than to spend your whole life with someone who wasn’t right for you in the first place.

How does he feel about you?

It may happen that you have found the perfect man for you. Purposeful, attractive, responsible, promising, from a good family, values ​​coincide... One catch - he is not in love with you. Epic fail.

If you have used your entire arsenal of feminine tricks and tricks, and he still hasn’t caught fire with you, you’ll have to leave him in the past. You want to create a happy family, and not rape a man and mock yourself.

So answer your questions honestly.
Is there love or attraction between you? How often is a man the first to write to you, call you, or ask you out on a date? How does he feel about you in general? Has he ever said that there is no spark between you and you just tell him good friend? Or what? Or maybe he doesn’t hide the fact that starting a family is, in principle, not on the list of his life plans? Does he have serious intentions towards you? Is he going to introduce you to his friends and parents? Are you present in his conversations about the future?

How do you feel next to him?

An even greater irony than the ideal man who is not in love with you, can only be the ideal man who is not in love with you.

How do you feel next to him? Does he inspire you? In a relationship with him, are you more likely to rejoice and be happy, or, on the contrary, to be sad and suffer? Are you developing next to him and your business is going uphill, or is he suppressing you as a person? Do you dream of spending your WHOLE life with him?

The world has changed. A woman herself is able to provide the basic necessities for herself and even her children. It is also quite possible to manage household chores without a husband. Have a heart-to-heart talk with a psychologist or a random online acquaintance. But the main thing is that there is no longer a need to get married simply to survive, to save your parents from starvation, or to “hide the shame” of an out-of-wedlock pregnancy. Society condemns less and less, freedom increases.

Therefore, in my opinion, there is no need to rush into such a serious matter as starting a family. There is no need to deny yourself the great pleasure of loving and being loved in marriage. If you dream of creating a great family, then your chances are much greater than ever before. The main thing is to look and develop to match the man of your dreams.

Is he ready for a family?

Did he choose you, or is his eye already squinting to the left in search of adventure? Has he given up carousing and partying in order to set up a family nest, or do his friends and especially girlfriends see him more often than you?

And again, is he capable of bearing financial responsibility for the family? Will his salary be enough for this? If not, what is he doing in this direction? He doesn’t promise to do it, but he DOES it already now.

Commercialism has nothing to do with it, because after giving birth a woman will not be able to work. Many serious family problems begin when additional expenses are needed for pregnancy, doctors, and treatment of a child who is often sick. Will this man be able to take care of you? Or did he honestly say that a loaf of bread a day is enough for him and he doesn’t need anything else, he is in complete harmony with the world and is not going to change anything?

Family happiness and chronic poverty are practically incompatible. Even minor shortcomings of a man are very annoying and love turns into hatred when there is nothing to eat at home, and he does not particularly move to change the situation.

Mistakes to Avoid First When Choosing a Husband

**Dive headlong into the pool. **
If you feel the ground disappearing from under your feet next to him, this is a screaming sign: “It’s time to hit the brakes!” Consciously slow down your relationship with this man, otherwise you will “blind” in the rays of his splendor and lose yourself. Remind yourself that he is just a person, not a deity or an angel who came down to you to bestow happiness and love.

Remember that happiness is within you, force yourself to lead the life that you had before meeting this man. Don’t give up on your hobbies and friends, continue to develop, literally force yourself to do it. And then take a closer look at his behavior in different situations adequately, and not through rose-colored glasses.

Giving up on a person after the first date.
If a man didn’t make a complete idiot of himself on the first date, if you remained indifferent to him or doubt whether it’s worth meeting him a second time, then you definitely need to meet again. If you kick everyone after the first date for the slightest little thing (you tied your tie wrong and didn’t shake your hand when getting out of the transport), then you’ll wait for the prince until he’s old.

You can go on dates and communicate as much as you like as long as the man has not shown such negative sides that you do not accept even in your friend. On dates, you are not obligated (and it is not advisable) to kiss and hug, much less sleep with a man. Treat him like a friend, flirt, but keep his distance. If he wants sex, then it's not your problem. You never know who wants to, you don’t have to sleep with them all.

The main purpose of dating is to understand whether a man is suitable for you to live with, and not at all pleasure, as many people think. Pleasure is just pleasant by-effect and an additional plus for a man, but not the main purpose of dating.

Strive to get married soon.
This often happens, especially with girls over 30. They are so afraid of not catching what they think is the “last train” that it is sometimes simply scary to watch their hectic marriage. Marriages like this most often are a complete failure! In which both suffer. Even the vegetables at the market are sometimes looked at longer than the future husband. No matter how old you are right now, respect yourself and have patience, you are not getting married for one year, after all. Under no circumstances agree to just anything. It’s much better to live alone for an extra year or two than to spend your whole life on a powder keg: he will come or won’t come home today, drunk or sober, he will beat you up or take a sip...

Hoping that the man will change.
Count on the fact that after the wedding he will settle down, grow up and become wiser, quit partying and computer games- at least pointless. Choose a man whom you are not only ready to accept, but also ready for the fact that his shortcomings will even intensify over time.

Of course, I understand: when we are in love, the world becomes beautiful, emotions overwhelm and sometimes it’s hard to analyze something. But you need to make an effort, realize the shortcomings of your chosen one and talk to him about it. Perhaps he is ready to fix something to make you even happier. Don't be afraid to make contact and tell your man openly what you want. And also be prepared for his frankness and wishes in your direction. After all, this is the only way to get the relationship of your dreams. And this is exactly what I wish for absolutely all of you, my dears!

PS. A woman is sitting on the shore, and a bunch of things are floating past, sometimes in a circle... 😁
Satya is great as always!

Several centuries ago, the choice of a future spouse was the prerogative of the girl’s parents. It would seem that now you can breathe easy and follow the call of your heart, but here, too, not everything is so simple. Representatives of the fair sex are racking their brains over how to choose a husband. Of course, love should come first. But there are still a number of important points that cannot be neglected.

Family

Perhaps in educational program It’s high time to introduce a special subject for girls, “How to choose a husband.” Psychologists advise, first of all, to pay attention to the family of your potential chosen one. Try to find out in more detail about what principles reign in his house. Most likely, after marriage, a man will try to transfer them to your family, because this is how he has been accustomed to living since childhood.

Pay attention to how family members communicate with each other, what is their attitude towards the woman. It is possible that your future husband will behave with you the way his father behaves with his mother. You should be wary of any manifestation of rudeness, neglect and violence.

But it is also worth tracking a man’s reaction to family traditions. Does he oppose them or willingly support them? By carefully analyzing the information received, you can get a rough idea of ​​what your family life will be like.

Social status and age

If we are guided by the plots of novels and soap operas, we can conclude that every girl’s dream is a husband older and richer than her. If your chosen one is like this, do not rush to rejoice and relax. Unless you belong to the rich, intelligent circle, you will have to work hard on yourself to match your lover. Successful men love interesting and active women. They are simply bored with others.

A promising young husband is also a good match. The advantage of such a union is that you can, so to speak, “adjust” it to suit yourself. You can guide him in his career (if, of course, you have entrepreneurial abilities). However, you must clearly understand that a young husband is, first of all, a child who needs to be taken care of. Moreover, those family values, which are so important for a woman (hearth, traditions, children, etc.).

In this regard, many psychologists recommend looking for a husband in your social circle. He should be 3 years older than you (about how much women are ahead of the stronger sex in development). However, all these recommendations are quite conditional, because feelings should come first.

How does he treat children?

The main goal is the birth and raising of children. This should give you some ideas on how to choose a husband. The psychology of women is such that they give preference to those representatives of the stronger sex who are more responsible and caring towards children. It's not difficult to find out.

Surely, you have some friends or relatives who already have small children. Invite them to visit and watch how your chosen one will behave with the baby. Will he play with it? Will he be able to feed him or change his diaper? Or will all responsibility be shifted to you?

If you do not have the opportunity to conduct a practical test, call your chosen one for a frank conversation. You must be completely honest even before marriage. Perhaps your views on procreation are exactly the same. If he is categorically against having children in the foreseeable future, you should seriously think about the feasibility of such a union. As a result, maternal instinct will prevail over even the strongest feeling.

Genetics

Based on the goal of procreation, the next point arises in the question of how to choose a husband. In many Western countries, it is normal practice to undergo medical examination and study family tree to exclude the possibility of any genetic diseases in future children.

In our latitudes this is not accepted. Moreover, asking such sensitive questions is in bad form, and therefore you should be careful when obtaining information. In any case, if your chosen one leads healthy image life and monitors your well-being, this is already a positive signal.

Life and general interests

It is believed that opposites attract. But this statement is true only for physical experiments. Speaking about a man and a woman, it is worth remembering that they should have as many points of contact as possible.

How to choose the ideal husband? Discuss the issue of hobbies and life goals in as much detail as possible with applicants for this status. What kind of music does he listen to? What films does he watch? How he prefers to spend free time? Where does he prefer to relax? What are his life goals?

These points should not be identical for potential spouses. But there must be at least something in common, otherwise you will spend time together only in the bedroom and in the kitchen.

From common interests and hobbies you need to move smoothly to views on everyday life. Unfortunately, now there are still quite a lot of men with “Domostroevsky” views on family life. Agree, no one wants to be a slave in their own home while their husband lies on the couch and watches TV.

You can understand how independent or helpless he is in everyday life by unexpectedly coming to visit. But if, based on the results of your “investigation,” you draw unsatisfactory conclusions, you should not give up your feelings. In the end, everyday issues can be resolved on a contractual basis.

Intimate component

Many women associate an ideal husband with a passionate lover. Nowadays, there is no prohibition on premarital sexual relations, and therefore sexual compatibility in most cases is tested experimentally.

Nevertheless, some young couples prefer to adhere to old traditions, postponing sex until marriage. To lift the veil of secrecy, use some tricks from psychologists. There are a lot of theories that link sexual temperament with the characteristics of a person’s appearance and behavior.

Attitude to money

Fantasizing about what an ideal husband should be like, many women imagine a wealthy and generous man who not only provides for the family, but also satisfies all women’s whims. But in practice everything is a little different.

The family budget is always limited, and therefore it is important to be able to spend it rationally. Ideally, a man should have the habit of planning expenses in advance, as well as setting aside a certain amount as a “safety cushion”.

But pathological frugality is not normal. If your chosen one collects receipts from all purchases (even small ones), does not tip in a restaurant, or is ready to travel across the city to buy some product a little cheaper, this is a bad signal. Ultimately, he will start saving for you, and then for your children.

Life position

What should a husband be like? You can talk about this topic for a very long time, but all this makes no sense if your chosen one has not yet decided what he wants from life. Pay attention to Western countries. There a person lives according to the “study, career, family” scenario. Marriage is mainly between accomplished people who have built a solid foundation. Thus, they approach marriage consciously.

In our country, impulsive marriages are often concluded, the basis of which is only a sensual component. At the same time, people may have absolutely no idea how and what they will live on next.

Considering that the role of head of the family is still assigned to a man, you must unravel his position in life. How is he going to build his future career? Why does he want to start a family? And does he even want to? By answering these questions, you will determine the feasibility of further relationships.

Friends

What should a husband be like? Most women want their chosen one to belong only to them. Nevertheless, no one canceled the fact that the man had friends. You definitely need to get to know them in order to learn more about your lover, because it is with them that he will spend a considerable part of his time. And sometimes you will have to attend such gatherings.

It is believed that friends are somewhat similar to each other. If your chosen one communicates with successful and hardworking people who have already managed to start a family (or are planning to do so), there is nothing to worry about. Such company will be useful for him and interesting for you.

If your lover is friends with inveterate bachelors who also abuse alcohol, you urgently need to save him from them. Firstly, for his own good, and secondly, for the sake of family happiness, because “friends” will certainly turn your husband against you.

How does it affect you?

If you are puzzling over how to choose a husband, a test of your own feelings will help you decide. Keep a separate notebook in which you will write down your feelings after each date with your chosen one.

Ideally, meetings should bring you joy, satisfaction, inspiration and upliftment. Being close to your lover, you should develop and constantly become better. If your diary reflects only negative emotions, think carefully about whether you should connect your life with this person. If you degrade next to him, this is not your path.

So, what should a husband be like?

Based on the experience of many generations, we can draw certain conclusions about what qualities of a husband make him ideal. Women consider the following characteristics to be key:

• Appearance. Whatever one may say, this factor is important. You will have to see him every day, and therefore he must be attractive. It's not about ideals male beauty. It's about your personal preferences.
• Kindness. Brutal and cruel hooligans attract only young girls. In family life, it is important that a person is understanding and gentle (but not weak-willed).
• Weasel. Special attention It’s worth paying attention to how a man behaves in bed. His actions should be aimed not only at satisfying his own sexual instinct, but also at pleasing his other half.
• Physical form. A man simply must monitor his weight and muscle tone. And it's not even about looking like Apollo. A man must be ready for physical activity at any time (move a sofa, lift a heavy suitcase, or at least carry his wife in his arms). Also good physical form is the key to good health.
• Wealth and generosity. A woman is looking for a companion who can provide not only for her, but also for her future children. Even if the wife earns money herself, the main burden of responsibility still lies with the man. To the best of his financial capabilities, he should pamper the lady of his heart with pleasant surprises.
• Devotion. Family should come first for a man. Work, friends, hobbies - all this is secondary. Between a fishing trip with friends and a family vacation at the dacha, he must choose the latter. Although, so that a man does not feel like a prisoner, one should not completely take away his right to spend time separately from his family.
• Goal setting. A man must have far-reaching plans that will lead to an increase in the well-being of his family.
• Reliability. Next to your man, you should feel calm and confident in the future.

How to choose a husband from two candidates?

If you have a lot of fans, you are lucky. All you have to do is find out how to choose good husband among them. This is not difficult to do. Lay out a sheet of paper into four columns. In the first two, write down the candidates' strengths, and in the third and fourth, write down a comparison of their shortcomings.

Whoever has more positive and fewer negative traits wins. But don't forget about feelings. It is quite possible that your heart will show you the right choice without any lists.

How to choose a husband is not an idle question. Skeptics will probably laugh: “What, a wide choice? Well, toss a coin!” This, of course, is not about who to prefer out of two or three candidates (although this is also about that).

And how, in principle, to find and identify one – faithful, caring and “yours” – out of a million men.

There is a saying that men spend time with one type of woman and marry another. This law also works in reverse side. Girls love to hang out with bad guys, but they try to find a good husband.

Because how to raise children with him, and build a house, and organize everyday life. After all, family is not only about dancing and delicious dinners, but also about working together for the benefit of common goals.

Previously, in the days of bonfires and mammoths, they didn’t think much about how to choose a husband. Everyone was guided by natural instincts.

And naturally, women fought for alpha males: only the strongest, hardiest, strongest and healthiest could produce “high-quality” offspring, feed and protect their family.

Do you think we are going against our nature today? Not at all. It's just that our instincts keep up with the times. When planning to choose a husband, every woman secretly wishes the most successful, richest, healthiest and most beautiful.

After all, nowadays, in order to feed your family, you don’t need to slaughter a mammoth alone, but having a decent salary and living space is desirable.

And I recognize a sweetheart... by five criteria.

To choose the right husband, it is important to take into account a dozen important points. Of course, having feelings for each other comes first. But you won’t be satisfied with love alone! What else plays a role when choosing?

1. Your age and social statuses . It is much easier for people from the same world and generation to get along. All fairy tales about Cinderellas, Pretty Women and other misalliances have little ground under their feet. And it’s not even that the prince won’t love the waitress.

Just remember happy marriages actors Nicolas Cage and Matt Damon, who found their companions among the service staff. But the chance of a happy outcome is one in a hundred.

In other cases, you will simply have nothing to talk about, and permanent awkwardness will reign in the relationship.

2. Dance from your own character. If you are allergic to socks thrown on the floor and artistic chaos on your desktop, do not expect that you will “endure it, fall in love.”

Everything that now seems to you to be minor flaws in your chosen one will grow to nightmarish proportions over the years. And you, with your pedantry and accuracy, will quickly tire him out with daily filing.

It is very difficult with age, therefore, the more similar your views, lifestyle and interests are now, the more successful the match will be.

3. To choose the right husband, you need to discover the potential in a man. Of course, you can always grab a juicy piece of a ready-made pie and marry the rich owner of a white yacht and villa in Spain. But it's boring!

It is much more honest to discover in a man the ability to conquer mountains and help him in this. Peaks achieved together only strengthen the marriage.

4. Qualities such as generosity, responsibility, economy, reliability, sincerity and the absence of bad habits are pleasant bonuses for a happy family life. However, many live well with smokers, greedy people and eternally absent-minded shopaholics.

5. There are two things you should definitely know about your future husband: how does he treat children, what kind of family does he have?. It is important that you have the same thoughts about a possible baby - either you both want it right away, and more, or you want it later, or you don’t want it at all.

And from the family model you will learn almost everything about him: look at his father and his attitude towards his mother. Did you see? It will be the same for you.

How to choose a husband: psychological theory

You can get carried away by psychological “near-science” socionics. It divides all humanity into 12 sociotypes.

You, for example, may turn out to be a logical-intuitive introvert, and your boyfriend may be a sensory-ethical extrovert.

Each type interacts with others in a manner characteristic of him: with some he has terrible conflictual relationships, with others he has friendly “mirror” relationships, when he understands his friend at a glance. Two “conflicts” meet in the office - and good luck!

Dual relationships are ideal for marriage - calm e, full mutual understanding and support and completely devoid of quarrels. Moreover, each sociotype has its own dual.

You can get to know the personal “type” of a good husband better - read about him habits, appearance, poses, traditional character traits...

Having become proficient in socionics, you can easily pick out the same person from the crowd and start a promising conversation with him. Perhaps he is your ideal!