The child is crying, aggressive, confused, refusing to eat, and has bedwetting. All these are possible reactions of a child to the first days and weeks of adaptation to life. What does he really want to say and how can we help him?

In a kindergarten or nursery, the baby often feels lonely, confused and abandoned. It is difficult for him to understand the reason for being in an unfamiliar environment. Its daily balance is disrupted, leading to changes in behavior. Therefore, this is exactly what a normal reaction looks like for a child who is still experiencing pain.

Baby in the process of adaptation may cry when being with other children separated from their parents during their stay in the group

• protest
• react violently
• have temper tantrums
• be irritable, lethargic, or indifferent.

In general, some children are more prone to physiological reactions, for example, refusal of food and rest. While others are more prone to externalizing behavior, e.g. crying, aggression or passivity. One possible reaction is regression in behavior- a return to more immature behavior and the manifestation of the baby’s weaknesses, for example, he may again

• start wetting the bed
• suck your thumb and
• whether to demand a pacifier.

Reactions may occur immediately or several days after the first visit to kindergarten. Such changes in behavior are transition period and these are normal reactions during the adaptation process.

They will disappear when the baby gets used to the new environment, that is, when she feels safe.

Most of the children's reactions occur at the very beginning, and for some after 2-3 days, or even after a week's stay in the nursery or when the baby realizes that being in a group is becoming everyday. Such reactions will last until the moment until the child and caregiver establish a social-emotional connection and trust.

Adaptation will be successfully completed when the baby begins to spontaneously express his

• feelings
• needs
• thoughts
• and actively participate and take an interest in the activities of the group.

How to help your child get used to kindergarten

How can I help him cope with this big change and his own turbulent feelings that accompany it? Important Don’t downplay your baby’s fear and anxiety, but encourage him to say what is bothering him and explain to him that he can contact you if he needs something.

Messages that will help your baby, such as: “It's okay to cry when you're sad,” “How can I help you?” and of course,

• avoid comparisons with other children
• forbid
• command
• and asking questions such as “Were you interested?”

You need to be patient, have an idea of ​​​​the baby’s behavior, know what he does and says, how he feels.

Give your child time; talking about kindergarten leads to his calmness.

Parents are also advised to plan time with your baby after returning home with lots of relaxing games and cuddles, as the baby's adaptation will then be much easier. Do not introduce new changes in the baby’s life during this period.

Dr. Komarovsky: help with the question of what to do to make adaptation to kindergarten successful.

Many modern mothers are in a hurry to go to work and kindergarten for their kids is inevitable. In families where there is someone to look after the child, the issue of a preschool institution is resolved differently. Some adults remember their own negative experiences and refuse to enroll their son or daughter in kindergarten, while others, on the contrary, believe that socialization is necessary, and life in a group the best way prepares the baby for school.

Which position is correct? Do I need to take my child to kindergarten? It is worth understanding these issues in more detail. We will look at the pros and cons of a regular kindergarten, the issue of preparing for school, and also give the opinions of experts.

If a mother or other relative has the opportunity to be at home with the child, then the issue of kindergarten is resolved in different ways

The benefits of attending preschool

There are many arguments that are usually given by supporters of the kindergarten. We list the main ones:

• The main and most obvious advantage of visiting a preschool institution is the opportunity to communicate with peers. A child learns to communicate in a team and hones his communication skills. Already at two years old, children begin to become interested in their peers and learn to play together. Disputes and quarrels teach children the ability to compromise, admit their guilt and find true friends.
• In a group, the baby’s immunity is subjected to a powerful attack, which trains him and makes him stronger. Children 2-5 years old often infect each other with infectious diseases. Pediatricians believe that it is better to have infectious diseases in childhood in order to gain immunity to them. Chickenpox, mumps and rubella are much easier to tolerate in preschool age and rarely cause complications.
• Any institution for children must meet the basic parameters: have enough space for games, it must have a room equipped for sleeping. Children study, dance and sing, teachers, speech therapists work with them, and there is a full-time psychologist. In addition, there is a school preparation program that takes into account all the nuances.
• The kindergarten helps its pupils become autonomous. Often it is here, away from mom, that you have to learn to dress yourself, go to the potty on time, eat with a spoon and use a towel (we recommend reading:). There is only one teacher and you can’t expect care from him similar to what a child sees at home. The words “I want” or “give” are no longer heard so often from the lips of my mother’s favorite. This means you need to learn to do many things yourself.

In kindergarten, the child becomes part of the team, learns to make friends and communicate

What else is an undoubted advantage?

Above we have listed the most obvious advantages of a standard kindergarten. There are also less noticeable things that any parent of a “kindergarten” child can realize:

• Children get used to the regime, which has a good effect on health and general development. In addition, teachers require children to adhere to the rules of behavior in a group. Thanks to the routine and the constant example of their classmates, children surrounded by their peers eat and sleep better, and also get dressed faster for a walk. Typically, a kindergarten child is more disciplined than one who grows up under the supervision of a mother or a babysitter.
• Modern children, already at the age of 2-3, spend a lot of time in the virtual world or watching cartoons. It is in a group of peers under the supervision of a teacher that a little person is reliably protected from computers, tablets, and smartphones. Children spend the entire day according to a schedule: instead of cartoons, they draw or sculpt from plasticine, instead computer games or the Internet - preparation for the matinee.
• A good preschool for a son or daughter will allow the mother to go to work and improve her material well-being. In addition, some women need to realize themselves in a team and move up the career ladder, which makes it possible to feel needed not only at home, but also at work. A financially secure mother who is confident in her abilities will not get irritated over trifles, but will be able to fully shower the baby with her love.

In kindergarten, a child will definitely not spend his days on a computer or tablet - there will be many exciting activities for him

Cons of kindergarten

Some mothers say: “I don’t want to send my child to kindergarten, I’m afraid that he won’t get enough attention there!” This is partly true; visiting such an institution every day is associated with a number of difficulties and many see many disadvantages in it. We'll list a few of the most obvious ones here:

• A group of peers is not always the best environment for little man. The ability to communicate, find compromises and even make friends can be honed at home with adults, on the playground. In addition, the child can attend various children's classes - clubs or sections. In the garden, there is often some pressure from teachers, demands to “be like everyone else,” and the presence of leaders in the team. If the baby is raised at home, he will avoid the stress that will certainly arise in a new environment, among unfamiliar children and strict teachers. He will learn a lot by observing and participating in his family's current events, rather than replacing real situations with playful ones.
• Even the most progressive preschool institution separates the child from his family and teaches him not to feel too deeply attached to his parents. Today, many mothers and fathers do not know how to communicate with their child and spend time with their family. This is all due to the persistent belief that children need to be constantly distracted, looking for entertainment for them. Any child will be able to play independently for quite a long period, being near his mother. Sometimes it’s enough to play with the baby for a short time so that for the next half hour he finds something to do, completely satisfied with communication with his mother.
• Independence in a child care facility is very conditional. Pupils are subject to strict rules that do not allow them to express themselves. For a teacher, the main advantage of every child is the ability to obey and act within the outlined framework. Mom is preparing her daughter or son for adult life, sensitively reacting to his achievements, each time giving him more and more freedom.

The opportunity to spend time with parents is priceless for a child, and visiting a kindergarten reduces these hours and minutes

Taking care of mental and physiological health is the task of parents

When sending their daughter or son to kindergarten, many do not think about how this will affect his health. Here we are talking about both physical and psychological aspects. I would like to note that the disadvantages significantly outweigh the possible advantages:

• The famous pediatrician Dr. Komarovsky believes that a child will have healthy respiratory and cardiovascular systems if he spends enough time on fresh air. At the same time, it is not at all necessary to go through the stage of a series of diseases. Frequent colds and infectious diseases, which are inevitable in a large group of children, do not always have a beneficial effect on the immune system and general condition preschooler. Every disease is fraught with complications, and regular absences from the life of the team do not allow the child to comfortably adapt to his group.
• IN children's institution discipline is paramount. It is difficult for different students to adapt to the routine for everyone. Active kids They have difficulty falling asleep at the allotted time because they do not have time to calm down before bed. It is difficult for them to wake up when called. As a result, they are deprived of proper rest. Each baby has its own biorhythms, according to which it is best to organize activities, sleep or active games. These discrepancies may have an impact Negative influence on the general condition.
• Sometimes teachers can be quite rude and demand that children fulfill their demands instantly. A not very good teacher, not wanting to understand children's conflicts, often punishes everyone who does not obey. An impressionable child may experience stress and even receive psychological trauma if he is unfairly punished.
• Children tend to adopt the behavior of those around them, and not just adults. In a group you can get a bad example of behavior, learn to fight or use foul language - quarrels and fights are possible among peers. No mother or teacher can protect an obedient child from the influence of aggressive children, unless they violate discipline too harshly.

Is preparation for school a mandatory part of the program?

What is considered competent preparation for school? A preschooler's ability to read, write in block letters and count on sticks? It turns out that these skills will not be superfluous when entering school, but they are not required. The main thing school teachers focus on is the ability to learn: listen, absorb information, and also have developed logical thinking.

It is necessary to think about whether it is necessary to take a preschooler to kindergarten for the sake of quality preparation for school:

• There is no special program in the kindergarten that is designed to direct the development of the future student in the right direction. In order to develop logic, it is necessary to solve special problems with the child and ask them to justify one or another of their decisions. It is also advisable to develop his general outlook and encourage the desire to understand the world - all this is best done individually.
• Particularly collective preschool education is not suitable for children with a strong individuality. Educators instill in their students the idea that they need to be like everyone else and not stand out. During creative activities, children are instructed to make appliqués or sculpt figures according to a template, and draw on a stated topic. If a child likes to fantasize and come up with their own games, unusual ways creating paintings and appliqués will not be easy for him in such conditions. For him, the result of his studies may be zero.
• Often in children's government agency The school preparation program is somewhat outdated. Every year the requirements for those entering the first grade change; it is better to prepare the future student in accordance with the new requests of teachers.

As you can see, there is no need to visit the kindergarten solely to prepare for school. A mother can study with her preschooler herself, or take him to classes a couple of times a week. In a preschool institution, very little time is devoted to lessons and they do not practice an individual approach to each preschooler.

In order for a child to join the ranks of schoolchildren without problems, preparation must take into account his individual characteristics

What do the experts say?

Parents must decide for themselves whether a kindergarten is needed for their son or daughter, according to teacher and psychologist Anna Bezinger. In order for the decision to be balanced, it is advisable to sensibly evaluate all the advantages and disadvantages of a preschool institution. For those who have decided to enroll their child in kindergarten, it is important to think about how to make it easier for the child to adapt to new conditions. It’s great if the baby knows how to feed himself, use the potty, dress himself, and can communicate with peers (we recommend reading:). For those families who are going through a divorce, have recently moved, or have added a new brother or sister, it is better to postpone kindergarten. The child at this moment is going through a period of adaptation to new conditions and kindergarten will become another factor that can cause stress.

According to the famous family psychologist, writer, member of the Family for a Child Association, Lyudmila Petranovskaya, it is advisable to immediately determine the status of a kindergarten for yourself. If you perceive it simply as a place where you can safely leave your child while the parents are at work, the kindergarten turns into a necessary, convenient and inexpensive service. If you place excessive demands on this institution and expect that it will thoroughly prepare your child for school and pay a lot of attention to his development, you can get a negative result. Those parents who need to free up time for work, kindergarten They may well leave the baby without worrying about his safety and entertainment. Moms and dads who are ready to be with their child, communicate with him, play - they can do without a kindergarten.

Psychologist and psychotherapist, candidate of psychological sciences Irina Mlodik holds a different position. Every adult who visited the garden as a child has memories of it – some have pleasant, cheerful ones, some – not so much, Irina believes. Despite such opposing opinions, a kindergarten - always a good one - is necessary for a child who has reached 3 years of age.

The ideal option is to completely abstract from the impressions that kindergarten left on parents in their childhood. You should also take into account the child’s personality, hobbies and inclinations.

The decision is yours

As you can see, not all experts share the same point of view. Some believe that home education more uniform, calm and with the right approach allows you to identify and nurture the child’s individuality and ability to express his thoughts. Others strongly recommend that parents think about socializing their child and be sure to find him a good teacher.

It is impossible to give a clear and unambiguous answer to the question of whether your child needs kindergarten. All parents are different and each of them has their own experience of visiting the garden. This experience will certainly become one of the weighty arguments in favor of making a decision “for” or “against”. However, sometimes it is worth setting aside your own impressions in order to make an informed decision. In reality, a garden is good way arrange a place for the child while the mother is busy. While your baby is attending the group, you don’t have to worry about his leisure time, regular meals and sleep. If parents can look after the child on their own, they can organize creative and developmental activities for him at home. Loving parents are able to give their child a decent upbringing, as well as provide him with full and regular communication with peers.

Remember - when deciding whether or not to send your child to kindergarten, it is important not only to take into account your own desires and needs. It would be good to think about the readiness of the child himself, as well as his personal qualities, which may not fit into the general program and capabilities of the child care institution.

Socialization is an important process of personality development. For children, it begins in the family and continues among peers, first in kindergarten and then at school. Therefore, sooner or later, every parent faces the question: when to send their child to kindergarten. It should be said that there is no clear opinion on this matter. However, there are a number of well-established principles that have been tested for decades, as well as advice on this matter from experienced pediatricians and teachers.

Rules for admission to kindergarten

Children should be able to play with peers

For young parents, especially if they have their first child, the issue of entering kindergarten causes a lot of conversation and controversy. Starting from the optimal age for the first acquaintance with a preschool institution and ending with the necessary set of clothes for walking and sleeping.

The law on the admission of children to kindergartens stipulates that the baby can be sent to nursery group from nine months of age.

The child is not required to have any skills or abilities. This rule has not changed since Soviet times, when the period of maternity leave was much shorter than it is now. Therefore, now not many parents decide to send such babies to a nursery group. And the nursery begins accepting children from the age of two. In this case, the child should already be able to ask to use the potty.

• The following requirements are imposed on children who enter the junior group of kindergarten:
• ability to eat independently with a spoon;
• fold a pyramid to reduce the volume of the rings;
• collect elementary figures from cubes;

distinguish colors (desirable, but not mandatory). To be admitted to a kindergarten (nursery), parents must write an application, submit a certificate about the child’s health status and collect required set

things for the baby, a list of which can be found at the selected institution.

Readiness criteria

A child in kindergarten must have basic skills

1. Psychologists and teachers agree that in order to ensure that starting school in kindergarten is not stressful for a child, you need to carefully consider the criteria that determine the child’s readiness to enter a preschool institution. The main recommendation for parents is to choose. optimal age It is better if this happens before the crisis of three years or after it.
2. However, as you know, the crisis manifests itself in all children individually: for some at 2.5 years, and for others closer to 4. Therefore, if possible, it is better to enroll in kindergarten from the age of 4. By this time, on the one hand, the baby will learn to be without his mother, and on the other, the important period of initial world knowledge, which occurs through close contact between mother and child, will end. The baby must be able to speak and with the help of his vocabulary
3. formulate thoughts or requests.
4. In order for adaptation to a group of peers to be successful, the child must strive for contacts with other children.

The child has developed basic household skills: he can dress himself with minimal assistance, eats with a spoon and uses the potty without problems.

How to make adaptation easy and painless

A positive image of kindergarten is the basis for successful adaptation

• If you think that your child is ready for kindergarten, then it is important to consider some factors that will help you easily and quickly go through the adaptation period: An important aspect of choosing the time to enter kindergarten remains the season. At this time of year, children’s immunity is strengthened by the summer sun and vitamins, which means that many infections and viruses are not scary. Besides, everything training sessions start in September, therefore, the child will have time to adapt to the new place, get used to it, which will only interfere with studies.
• The child needs to form a positive image of the preschool institution. To do this, show him more often pictures of children in kindergarten, talk to your child about how to have a good time with his peers, how many new friends he will have.
• Adjust your child's daily routine to the kindergarten routine. This way you will make it much easier for your child to get used to the daily routine and discipline him.
• Try to make the topic of kindergarten come up more often in your communication with neighbors and relatives - children react very sensitively to conversations of adults.
• Teach your child to get ready for kindergarten in the evening, just as you do for the next working day. Help your child prepare clothes, choose a toy with which he will go to kindergarten. Place everything in a bag or bag. This habit will be useful in the subsequent school period.
• Talk to the parents of those kids who like your baby. By doing this, you will help strengthen their friendships.
• Pay close attention to how your child perceives the teacher and teachers in kindergarten. If someone is frankly unlikable to your child, it is better to change the group. Do not try to force your child to love someone - he is not obliged to do this.

A.S. Makarenko said: “The educator must behave in such a way that every movement educates him, and must always know what he wants in this moment and what he doesn't want. If a teacher doesn’t know this, who can he educate?”

Attending kindergarten can be a great opportunity for any child to interact with other children and learn a lot of new things, or, conversely, turn into the most terrible period in his life. This is why adults should pay attention Special attention prepare your child for going to this institution and try to avoid the most common mistakes that will prevent the child from adapting calmly.

Negative attitude

You shouldn’t tell your little one that kindergarten is far from the most pleasant place in the world, but now the child is simply forced to go there. Pessimistic stories from their childhood, conversations about how a child should learn to fight back against bullies before kindergarten and be able to stand up for himself - all this does not prepare the child for the realities of life in kindergarten, but, on the contrary, repels and frightens. The child does not understand why mom and dad, the dearest people in the world, send him to a place where it is so bad.

When talking about kindergarten, it is important to say, of course, not only good things, but you should calmly describe possible negative situations, without embellishing or intimidating, minimizing negative expressions and emotions. The main thing that the baby must understand is that no matter what happens in the garden, mom and dad will always support him and help him solve any problem that arises.

Best place in the world!

If some parents talk about the “harsh” life in kindergarten, then others also go to the extreme and describe kindergarten as the most wonderful place. A kind teacher who allows everything, only friendly kids, delicious food and a lot of new toys - whatever the parents promise to get the baby to agree to go to kindergarten. However, the baby can be very disappointed when he realizes that the teacher is quite strict, some children like to fight, and the food is not at all as tasty as at home.

That is why, when talking about a preschool institution, adults should still stick to the golden mean: not to scare the baby, but also not to paint everything in a rosy light.

They gave it up and left!

Many old-school parents and educators are of the opinion that it is necessary to leave the child in the garden in the morning as quickly as possible. Bringing your baby and leaving without saying goodbye is one of the most common parental mistakes during the period when a child gets used to kindergarten. Of course, leaving unnoticed is much easier for parents, because they don’t have to calm the baby down or waste time on long conversations, but the disappearance of mom and dad scares the child. Throughout the day, the baby may feel uncomfortable, afraid and worried that his parents will not pick him up, get upset over trifles, and be whiny.

This is why it is so important for parents to spend time with the baby when saying goodbye: support the baby with a kind word, say that you will definitely return in the evening, tell us how you plan to spend your time after kindergarten.

All these conversations will allow the baby to tune in to a positive mood, and he will be sure that his parents will take him.

Clarifying relationships with the teacher and other parents

Of course, when a child attends kindergarten, some unusual situations cannot be avoided. Fleeting conflicts quite often break out between children, because kids learn to communicate with each other, socialize, and get used to behaving in society. In addition, teachers also get used to the new children's team, recognize children and do not always have time to keep track of a large number of nimble kids. As a result, it may happen that it is your child who was hurt or hit.

All parents, without exception, should remember that any unpleasant situation should be clarified in a civilized way.

You should speak with the teacher and other parents not in a raised voice, but calmly and restrainedly, even if you are terribly outraged. Of course, you should not sort things out in the presence of children; it is also advisable not to discuss this conflict at home, which is worth scolding other parents and educators.

If parents like to sort things out in a raised voice, without choosing expressions, then it is no wonder that the child will be scared and will not want to go to kindergarten at all after everything that has happened.

Ignoring the regime and rules of the kindergarten

Another fairly common mistake is failure to follow the rules of the kindergarten. The more your child can do before attending preschool, the better for him. It is worth teaching the baby to dress independently, hold a spoon correctly, wash hands before eating and instill other self-care skills. You shouldn’t hope for chance and expect that teachers will do everything themselves, and then be indignant that this did not happen. Good preschool teachers will undoubtedly pay attention to this, but a lot depends on the parents.

I'll buy you for this...

Some parents can’t think of anything better than bribing their own child, promising him sweets, toys and entertainment, if only the child deigns to go to kindergarten. This kind of mistake leads to the fact that in the future the child will agree to visit the kindergarten only for gifts. It is best to tell your baby what exciting walk you will take after kindergarten, what game you will play at home, what dinner you plan to cook in the evening, what fairy tale you will read before bed. All these actions do not bring material reward, but they set the child up to receive positive emotions. In this case, going to kindergarten will not cause a negative reaction in the child.

You are guilty!

No matter what happens in kindergarten, your child should always be confident in your support. If another parent or teacher begins to scold your child, then try to stop it immediately. Say politely but firmly that you will talk to your child about this at home.

You can discuss the conflict with other adults, but without the children present.

This does not mean that you will let your child get away with everything; he may have to suffer a well-deserved punishment. But a child must understand from childhood that parents are always a reliable support. Mom and dad may be unhappy with his actions, but they will always support and help resolve any conflict. This is why it is so important to be on the child’s side, and not to scold him, by teaming up with the teacher or other parents.

As a child grows up, the question arises in every family: is it worth taking a 2-3 year old child to kindergarten? Nowadays, many mothers work from home or are in maternity leave, so they can look after the baby and raise him on their own, instead of trying to teach him to attend a not-so-favorite kindergarten. Enough a large number of Parents prefer to hire a nanny for the baby, who not only looks after the child, but also conducts educational activities, walks and feeds. The position of many parents is simple: why take them to a group where there are a large number of people and the child will not receive enough attention. Is this position correct and what do child psychologists think about this?

Why does a child need to go to kindergarten?

Experts are confident that for full development, character formation and integration into the social environment, it is better for children to grow up in a team than to constantly be at home with their mother, grandmother or nanny.

Psychologists insist that the best option The child's adaptation to society is kindergarten.

Visiting kindergarten has its positive sides:

• the child learns to interact with other people. And we are talking not only about children, but also about adults, because the baby gets to know several teachers, a music director, a psychologist and other kindergarten employees;
• psychologists and teachers note that children begin to develop faster in a group. The secret of this is simple: a child who did not want to complete tasks at home, watches his peers, and wants to be the first, the best, and also strives to learn certain skills. The instinct of leadership and competition awakens in him;
• discipline training: very important point for a growing baby. Today, many parents encourage free upbringing, when a child can do anything. But it becomes very difficult for such children at school, where there are no more games, but they need to complete the teacher’s assignments. It is in the garden that children get used to discipline in game form, and to the elder preschool age already realize what can be done and what cannot;
• organizing a daily routine: doctors around the world insist that teaching a child to a certain routine has a positive effect on his development. If a child did not know what a regime was until he was two or three years old, in the garden in a few months the body will get used to the new rules. And after graduating from preschool, the child will not have problems at school, because everything there is also on time and on a schedule;
• shows independence and character: when the mother is not around all the time, the baby begins to analyze many situations himself and make decisions for which only he is responsible.

Should I send my child to kindergarten - video

What is the reason: the child cannot get used to kindergarten

Whatever nice garden, for a child who is just starting to attend, this is a lot of stress. Psychologists explain: the baby is used to constantly being with his mother or other relatives, and suddenly he is left in unfamiliar territory with complete strangers.

Of course, the baby does not perceive this event in the context that he was abandoned, this is not so. But some children may not like new rules, routines, or discipline. However, not all children are hostile to preschool. Experts have found that a child who knows from birth what a routine is, knows how to clean up toys after himself, is used to studying and doing various exercises, will see in a group an opportunity to express himself, make more friends and show off his skills.

In most cases, children cry and are capricious at first and do not want to go to kindergarten. This is called the adaptation period. Psychologists reassure parents that for the first two to three months such behavior is considered normal. Even if the child likes the teachers, new friends and the environment in general, he may cry and miss his parents. But later the baby will begin to perceive the garden and will happily run to the group.

Reasons why a child does not want to go to kindergarten at 2 and 3 years old - table	2 years
Often children at this age are still breastfed or sucking on a pacifier. The inability to receive breastfeeding at any time is very stressful for a baby who is used to it. The same applies to pacifiers: in most cases, teachers are against the baby taking the pacifier with him to the group.	Not used to the routine: children who are accustomed to doing everything at any time and are not controlled by the daily routine often do not want to go to kindergarten. It is much more difficult to accustom a three-year-old to a certain daily routine than a two-year-old.
Inability to do many things independently: two-year-old children cannot yet fully dress themselves, hold a spoon and scoop up food, some cannot even drink from a cup, but only from a bottle or sippy cup. The teachers, of course, will help the child, but they will not be physically able to devote time to him alone.	They don’t want to eat the food offered in the garden. This problem is familiar to many parents: what older child, the more difficult it is to accustom him to unfamiliar dishes. By the age of three, the baby has already decided on his favorite dishes, so he does not want to try something new.
Fear: children, especially small ones, are often afraid that their mother simply will not come back for them. To do this, you should talk to the child more often, explain that in the evening the parents will definitely take him home from the group and nothing else.
I don’t like the teachers: perhaps the baby is simply not yet accustomed to new adults whom he must obey as parents. It is worth talking with your child about this, because there are situations when teachers offend children. But a two-year-old baby cannot yet fully express his thoughts. Therefore, before sending a child to a group, parents are advised to get to know the teachers, spend some time in the group and observe the methods of raising children. If the teacher’s principles differ from the views of the parents, it is worth finding another group or kindergarten where mom and dad will be satisfied with everything.	I don’t like doing tasks: putting away toys, doing various exercises. You also need to get used to this, parents understand that the child needs to be taught order, to develop him not only psychologically, but also physically. As soon as the baby gets used to new friends, he will want to do all the activities with them.
Unfamiliar surroundings: children get used to their home or apartment, park or playground. But suddenly they are left on foreign territory and on long time. Don’t worry, the baby will definitely begin to perceive the kindergarten as family, but this takes time. Psychologists recommend that at first you must give your child a favorite toy or several in the group: he will sleep with one and carry the other with him to the playground. This way the baby will feel not alone in a new place.

There are situations when the teachers in the group are simply wonderful, but the child still doesn’t like them. In this case, parents should talk with teachers and develop a specific plan. For example, a baby simply loves to assemble construction sets, let the teachers take an active part in this process: they will help the baby. Children are drawn to people who are interested in the same things they are.

Dr. Komarovsky points out that adaptation to kindergarten in a two-year-old child is much faster than in a three-year-old child. Child psychologists and educators, based on numerous observations, have concluded: the younger the children, the faster and easier they get used to kindergarten.

What a good kindergarten should be like - video from Dr. Komarovsky

Parents' actions: how to help their child adapt to kindergarten

Properly preparing a child for the start of kindergarten is the task of parents. If you bring your baby to a group one morning and leave him there, this situation will definitely cause hysterics and fear in the baby. Therefore, there are recommendations that are voiced not only by educators, but also by child psychologists:

• First of all, you need to tell your child what a kindergarten is and why children are brought there. The child, even though he is still small, already understands everything. The main thing is to interest the baby, explain what is interesting there, there are a lot of new friends and toys, etc.;
• You shouldn’t immediately leave your baby for the whole day. It is recommended to first take the child for two hours so that the baby can play, but not have time to miss his mother. During the first week, you can bring your baby in the evening for a walk. From the second week, it is better to bring your baby to breakfast and leave it no longer than two hours. At this time, children are playing in the street. Then increase the time until lunch so that the baby gets used to eating with all the children. And only after that start leaving it for the full day. In most cases, this period takes one month; after 30 days, the child can already be left from morning to evening;
• Be sure to explain to the child that his parents will come for him in the evening, so that the baby does not think that he can be left in the garden forever. Psychologists recommend that for the first few days you should bring your child for a few hours in the evening so that he can see how parents pick up other children. This way the baby will be calm and confident: his parents will definitely come for him in the evening after sleep and afternoon snack;
• Before the first visit, it will be useful to talk about the teacher: who he is, why this particular person must be obeyed in everything. The child must come to the group and understand that for some time of the day it is the teacher who replaces the mother or another adult;
• The baby must constantly feel the support of his parents, because the baby perceives everything on an emotional level. Parents and grandparents should speak well of the kindergarten, encourage the child and constantly praise him. If the child constantly hears positive reviews about the garden, in his mind the group and teachers will be associated with very good place. And that is where his parents are taking him;
• You need to gradually accustom your baby to kindergarten: in the first few days you should not force your baby to have breakfast in a group; it is better to feed him at home. A well-fed child will be better able to accept games and participate in them. Later, the baby will see how other children eat at the table and will definitely want to join;
• After the weekend, children often begin to be capricious and do not want to go to the group. Therefore, parents are advised not to leave them all day on Monday; it is better to postpone this until Wednesday or Friday;
• psychologists recommend coming up with your own farewell ritual in the morning: hugging, kissing or clapping your hands, telling a rhyme. This process must be quick so that the baby cannot delay the moment when the mother needs to leave. The child gets used to the same actions and after a while will begin to part with his parents in the morning without tears.

Experts recommend sending children to preschool in summer period. At this time, there is less chance that the baby will get sick. And children spend most of their time outside, so it’s easier for the child to adapt. If you start attending preschool during the cold season, your baby may get sick a few days or weeks after the start of group visits. The child will be on sick leave for at least 7-10 days and adaptation will fail, because the baby will again get used to being at home. From the moment of recovery you will have to start all over again.

Do I need to prepare my child to start kindergarten?

The answer to this question is definitely yes. The success of adaptation largely depends on whether the child is ready to attend the group. Experts recommend starting preparation 4-6 months before you plan to start attending kindergarten.

How to prepare children of different ages for kindergarten - table

Nursery group, 2 years	Junior group, 3 years
Wean your child off breastfeeding and pacifiers. This process is a lot of stress for the baby, so combining the beginning of visiting the garden and weaning from the breast and pacifier is too much of a burden on nervous system baby.	At this age, the child should already eat on his own. If the baby still does not know how to do this, it is worth instilling these skills in him.
At this age, children drink from a sippy cup or bottle. In kindergarten, the baby will only drink from a cup, so parents should teach their child this skill. The baby should also be able to hold a spoon and try to feed himself.	Dress and undress independently: take off and put on pants, tights, socks, mittens, a jacket or T-shirt, pajamas. Put on and take off your shoes if the shoes have Velcro.
It's time to stop using diapers and potty train your little one.	Go to the toilet. IN junior groups There are already toilets for kids, but not potties. Therefore, at home you need to teach your child to go to the toilet on the toilet so that the baby does not get scared in the garden.
Show the child how to dress independently: take off and put on pants, take off mittens, if the shoes have Velcro, the baby can also put on and take off his shoes.	Talk with your child more often about the positive aspects in kindergarten: how many toys there are, music lessons, interesting games on the street, and a large playground. A three-year-old child is already able to understand this information and it will definitely interest him.
Teach communication with other children: explain to the child that you cannot offend others, you need to share toys, because they are common in the group.
Accustom your child to order: teach him to put away his toys after himself, not to scatter his things, but to carefully put them on the shelf. The easiest way to do this is to show by example. After all, young children constantly copy adults.

When choosing clothes for a child for kindergarten, parents should remember that the child must learn to dress independently. Therefore, it is better to buy shoes with Velcro, clothes should be without buttons, because the baby will not be able to fasten them. All things must be chosen in such a way that the child can learn to dress them himself. When teachers gather children for a walk, it is extremely difficult to dress the whole group if everyone has a lot of buttons, zippers and fasteners on their sweaters, jackets or overalls.

Kindergarten and regime

The question of maintaining a daily routine remains relevant. The fact is that in the group all activities are distributed by hour from morning to evening. Therefore, if a child is not accustomed to living according to a routine, parents should reconsider their methods and begin to introduce the child to the routine. It is recommended to go to kindergarten and find out what routine is established in the group that the child will soon attend. Most kindergartens have the same daily routine.:

• 7.00 - 8.00 reception of children in the group;
• 8.00 - 8.20 exercise;
• 8.20 - 8.30 preparation for breakfast;
• 8.30 - 9.00 breakfast;
• 9.00 - 10.15 developmental classes;
• 10.15 - 10.30 preparation for the walk;
• 10.30 - 12.00 walk outside;
• 12.00 - 12.20 preparation for lunch;
• 12.20 - 12.45 lunch;
• 12.45 - 13.00 getting ready for bed;
• 13.00 - 15.00 nap;
• 15.00 - 15.30 getting up, preparing for afternoon snack;
• 15.30 - 16.00 afternoon tea;
• 16.00 - 16.30 classes with children in a group;
• 16.30 - 16.45 preparation for the walk;
• 16.45 - 18.30 walk on the street;
• 18.30 - 19.00 parents take their children home.

Educators draw the attention of parents to the fact that the daily routine must be observed even on weekends, so that the baby gets used to kindergarten faster. This way the baby will know that he needs to stick to the routine at home too.

Eating in the garden

For many parents, it becomes a problem when the child eats almost nothing in the garden. Therefore, adults should start accustoming their baby to the menu that will be offered to him in the group. You can ask the teachers what dishes are most often prepared for children. Nutrition criteria have been established in kindergartens, so the children’s diet consists of:

• dairy dishes: porridge, soups, cottage cheese casseroles;
• first courses: soups with cereals and meat, borscht, cabbage soup;
• main courses: buckwheat, millet porridge, vermicelli, mashed or stewed potatoes, stew, pilaf;
• meat dishes: cutlets, stewed meat in dishes;
• fish dishes: fish cutlets, baked fish, fish casseroles with sour cream;
• flour dishes: bread, buns, cheesecakes, muffins, cookies, dumplings;
• drinks: tea, compote, kefir, fermented baked milk, cocoa with milk, fruit juice.

Degrees of adaptation: how to distinguish and what parents should do

Parents should be patient, because not every child adapts easily and quickly without tears and whims. In most cases, this period takes one month; after 30 days, the child can already be left from morning to evening: two year olds can get used to the garden in 10 - 14 days, but children aged three years often need three to four weeks.

There are situations when for the first two to three weeks the baby happily runs to the garden, asks to go there even on weekends, and then his mood changes dramatically. The child begins to hysteria and cry every day. Psychologists recommend not to scold him under any circumstances, but to continue talking to the baby and taking him to the group. This situation is called delayed adaptation. Its period is no more than two weeks, and every day the child gets better and better at joining the group.

Types of child adaptation - table

	Light	Average	Heavy
Duration	Lasts about four weeks and does not depend on the age of the child.	From one to three months: the older the child, the longer the adaptation period.	More than six months: mainly observed in children over three years of age.
Child behavior	The baby's behavior does not change much: in the morning it is difficult for him to say goodbye to his parents, but during the day the baby plays well with other children. At first, the child may refuse to eat, but after a few days he gets used to eating in the garden.	Hysterics in the morning, tears and screams, reluctance to communicate with other children and teachers. But this behavior lasts no longer than 7 - 10 days. Then the child realizes that tears will not help and he will have to go to kindergarten. Understanding comes and the hysterics stop.	The baby cries not only when parting with his parents in the morning, but also all day in the group. The child may have nervous breakdowns and begin to have difficulty sleeping at night. Doctors note that against the background of psychosomatics, a child may suffer from vomiting in the garden, often get sick, cough or have a fever.
Recommendations for parents	You shouldn’t delay saying goodbye in the morning; it’s better to quickly say “bye” to your child and leave the group. After kindergarten, be sure to ask how the day went and what new things the baby learned.	Don't follow the child's lead. Explain more often that kindergarten is mandatory and cannot be any other way.	In such cases, psychologists and educators most often recommend stopping attending kindergarten and staying at home for several months or a year. There are also children who never get used to the group even after a long vacation.

How to properly prepare a child for kindergarten - video

What to do if your child can’t get used to kindergarten

However, there are situations when a child has already been going to kindergarten for two or three months, but they just can’t get used to it: every day in the morning there are whims and tears. In this case, experts recommend continuing to take the child, but talking to him more often and more, explaining why it is important to attend a preschool educational institution.

1. Parents should be persistent, but remain calm and not take it out on the child.
2. Children are most often more attached to their mother, so you can ask the father to take the baby to the group. This will make parting easier.
3. Always ask your child with interest about his activities in the group, praise him for crafts and drawings. You can select a special place on the wall and attach your baby’s masterpieces to this place. Encourage your baby, tell him that you won’t do that to him at home. Let him have an incentive to go to the garden.
4. On the weekends, stick to the routine you have in the garden. This way the baby will quickly get used to the fact that it cannot be any other way, even if he is at home.
5. Psychologists recommend playing kindergarten at home with your baby. Toys can be heroes. Using their example, explain why visiting a preschool educational institution is so important. The child will associate himself with the characters in the game and begin to understand the benefits and necessity of going to the garden.
6. Try to compare your work or your dad’s work with visiting the garden. This way the child will feel like an adult, that kindergarten is his job.
7. Praise your baby often, especially in the presence of other adults. Say that he is already so independent and big, that’s why he goes to the group.
8. Buy new clothes, because children love shopping. Choose beautiful pajamas for the garden and a change of clothes together as a group. But don't let me wear it at home. The kid will definitely want to show off his new clothes in the garden.
9. Help your child learn to wash his hands, dress, eat, etc. on his own. The faster a child can take care of himself, the easier it will be for him in the garden.
10. Never scare your child with the garden as a punishment, this will only make the situation worse.

Never promise your child a certain reward for attending kindergarten. In the first few days or weeks, this method may give positive results, but only temporarily. Then it will be even more difficult for parents to teach their child and explain that going to kindergarten is mandatory.

It is difficult for parents to determine whether the child is pretending or whether he really has such a bad time in kindergarten and is having a difficult adaptation. A pediatrician, neurologist and child psychologist. If the doctors’ recommendations are to stop attending the group, it is better to listen to them and not to traumatize the child’s psyche.

After all, if you continue to take such a child to a preschool educational institution, he will become withdrawn, lethargic, some children even show signs of autism or, conversely, inappropriate aggression towards other children and teachers. For this reason, some children are contraindicated from attending kindergarten.

What is a “non-kindergarten” child and what to do to prevent your baby from becoming one - video