Hello. I am 30 years old. Married for the second time. She married for love. We have been living with my husband for 5 years and raising two children. Two months ago I fell in love. I myself don’t understand how this could happen. Fell in love with my husband's friend. He often came to visit us. I had no idea that he is 6 years younger and has been in love with another girl for a long time. Two months ago we started working together. I haven’t seen anyone except my husband, and here it is.
All my thoughts are only about him, I can’t think about anything else, everything is falling out of my hands. My soul is torn apart from the understanding that it’s too late for me to change anything in my life, and he won’t even look at me. Some time ago, circumstances developed so that we were left alone. I seduced him, he couldn’t resist. We slept together.
He says he doesn't want to lose his friend. And I can’t think only about myself. I want to forget about everything. Save the family. Where could those feelings for my husband disappear so quickly? My husband loves me very much. He began to feel that something had changed in our relationship. He began to reach out to me even more.

8 Feb 2017

Julia0205

P. Mashtakov building 11

Olesya Verevkina

Hello Julia. It turns out that the young man wants to live as before (with his girlfriend and on friendly terms with your husband), and you want to return feelings for your spouse and revive family relationships, but don’t know how to do it? Do you and your boyfriend continue to work together? You write about your husband’s love for you, and what do you feel towards your husband - love, shame because of your actions, gratitude and respect for his support, care and loyalty, gratitude for children together, something else?

9 Feb 2017

Hello. Yes exactly. He wants to live as before and continue to communicate with my husband. And I want it like before. We continue to work together because there is no one else to work with.
I felt guilty before my husband when I realized that I had feelings for his friend. But for some reason there is no feeling of guilt for betrayal. I can’t look him in the eyes when he asks if I love him, I answer that I love him. I'm trying to convince myself of this. It couldn't have gone that way.

9 Feb 2017

Julia0205

P. Mashtakov building 11

Are you trying to convince yourself of your love for your husband - that is, you don’t feel it anymore, you’re trying to feel it, but so far it’s not working? What does it mean to you to love? What components make up this feeling? Frankl has a definition: “Love is an active interest in the life and development of another” - how do you like that? Should there be respect, understanding, gratitude, trust in love? Maybe there is something else in it for you? Let's talk about this.

10 Feb 2017

I don't feel it, and it's scary. In a relationship, it is important for me to love myself. To love is, of course, trust, respect and understanding. For me, this is a state of mind when a person wants to do everything and even more. An overwhelming feeling of anxiety and anticipation when he is not around. The desire to be near him makes it hard to breathe. I can't live with a person if I don't love him. I was depressed and wanted to leave my husband. Live alone, figure yourself out. Any word, any action, any touch irritated me. I even wanted to push him to think about an open relationship. I didn't want to go to bed with him. It was as if the ground had disappeared from under my feet. This was before the betrayal. I didn't expect it to happen at all. It was a coincidence. I was the initiator. It would be easier for me if he pushed me away.
I violated the main principle in my life.
But I pulled myself together. I'm working on myself, setting priorities and setting goals for myself. It's not too late yet.

10 Feb 2017

Julia0205

P. Mashtakov building 11

Did I understand correctly that the love for my husband disappeared even before the connection with his friend? Now you don’t want to do “everything and even more” for your husband, you don’t feel “anxiety and anticipation when he’s not around”, and instead of “breathing hard” from the desire to be close, you become irritated at any of his touch? I am inclined to understand the state you described not as love, but as falling in love - in love, feelings are calmer and more stable, and falling in love is passion, fireworks, bright colors, delight. Perhaps you were in love with your husband, and over time it faded, what do you think?
“I’m working on myself, I’ve set priorities and set a goal for myself,” tell us more about this, Yulia.

11 Feb 2017

I felt all these feelings for my husband all these years. In December, he left for Russia with his friend (the same one) in a truck. See what kind of work it is. To say that I was worried is to say nothing. I haven't found a place for myself all this week. He has arrived. Two days later I was doing laundry and on the T-shirt that he brought from this trip I found a long female hair. I was hysterical. He swears that no one was with them. I was very worried. And now I look at him and feel nothing.
I thought about the current situation for a long time. I'm trying not to think about his friend. I don't want to experience these feelings. To suffer.
I always wanted to get married once and for life. And on this moment It is important for me to save my family. If I destroy it, both my husband and children will suffer. And this won’t make it any easier for me. I do not want it.
I try to be with my husband every free minute. I hug him. I'm trying to feel the same feelings that I had before.

Natalya Kaptsova

Reading time: 10 minutes

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A story that, alas, is not uncommon: a flashbulb meeting, romance-passion, wedding, birth of a child and suddenly... “something happened.” It seems like nothing special happened, but feelings are lost somewhere over several years of marriage. And the man seems to be the same - with the same advantages and disadvantages, but... he is no longer drawn to him as before. There is no feeling of shortness of breath when he leaves, and there is no feeling of overwhelming joy when he returns home. Where do the feelings go? after the wedding, and how to get a second wind for your love?

Why feelings for my husband disappeared - let’s understand the reasons

Before you think about returning or not returning feelings to your husband, you need to figure out why and at what stage of life they disappeared. Reasons why love falls asleep (dies) , do not change at all times:

• Youthful maximalism(“I’ll never meet anyone better!”) and a gradual “epiphany” after the wedding - “it seems I bet on the wrong horse.”

• Marriage as a forced necessity reason for pregnancy, and not mutual desire.
• Marriage at an early age.
• “The fire went out because no one added wood”. Family life has become just a habit. The desire to yield, to please, to surprise is a thing of the past. In the present there is a routine without a hint of a spark between them.
• Accumulated grievances. He didn’t help with the child, he only thinks about work, he hasn’t given me flowers for a long time, he doesn’t protect me from his mother, etc.

• Cheating husband which cannot be forgiven or forgotten.
• Missing male attractiveness(and male wealth).
• My husband doesn't want to have children.
• The husband fell under the influence of the “green serpent”.

• Loss of rapport or trust.

Instructions on how to return feelings to your husband - finding family happiness again.

Of course, if something out of the ordinary happened in a family that can neither be forgiven nor justified, it will be extremely difficult to glue such a family boat together. Reviving feelings for a traitor, cheater or alcoholic is a fantasy task. Although, it is worth noting many families successfully overcome difficulties and, having shaken up the relationship, they start all over again. But what to do if even the thought of divorce seems blasphemous, but true former feelings for your husband are sorely lacking?

• First of all, don’t make hasty decisions and don't make hasty conclusions like “Love is dead!” True love is not a hobby; it takes many years to build and, even if it falls asleep for a while, it can still “rise from the ashes.”
• Every family has periods of mutual alienation. Everyone goes through this. The so-called test of strength - time, difficulties, clashes of character, the birth of children, etc. Such periods usually occur in the 2nd year family life and after the Five Year Plan. After 5-6 years of family life, spouses usually get used to each other, and all disagreements and misunderstandings remain a thing of the past. If nothing extraordinary happens, then such a union will last until old age.

• Understand yourself. What are you missing? What went wrong and when? Until you find out the reason, it will be difficult to change the situation.
• If your spouse’s habits, which seemed nice, suddenly become annoying, it’s not his fault, but your new perception of reality. It was not he who “lost his masculinity”, but you who stopped seeing it. Maybe you just don't give him a chance to prove himself?
• Accept for yourself the fact that your depression and the feeling of “boss, everything is gone!” will pass soon. This is a temporary phenomenon and a natural stage in the development of relationships. The law of nature is a “roller coaster” from passion to indifference, from irritation to a sharp attack of love hunger. One day you will come to the realization that next to your husband you are comfortable, calm and don’t need anything else.

• It’s a huge mistake to live separately after a quarrel or “test your feelings.” In this case, misunderstanding remains an unresolved problem. Either it will sweep away the remnants of your feelings in an avalanche, or it will simply melt away without a trace along with love. Remember that on the physical level, feelings (without “feeding” and development) begin to die off after 3 months of separation (law of nature). The fear of losing each other disappears when living separately. But a habit appears - to live without everyday problems, quarrels and “other people’s” opinions.

• If your feelings are depressed by routine and monotony, think about how to change the situation? Family traditions are great, but family “rituals” often become an “overwhelming suitcase” that you just want to throw from the balcony: the usual sex after midnight with a TV series, the usual scrambled eggs in the morning, from work to the stove, “buy some crackers for beer, dear , today is football,” etc. Are you tired? Change your life. Life is built from little things, and it’s up to you whether they will bring pleasure or poison your existence. Stop drinking tea and sandwiches at home in the morning - grab your husband’s arm and go to a cafe for breakfast. Don’t wait for the fulfillment of your marital duty at night, like hard labor - remember what and where you did before the wedding. Take sick leave and rent a hotel room. In a word, give up old habits and live in a new way. Every day of your life.

• Do not forget that your husband is your dear person. And you can even talk to him. And most likely, he will understand you and together with you will try to change your life for the better. Don't miss the opportunity for dialogue. Talk about what you want to change, what colors are missing in your family life, how exactly you want to drink coffee, go to bed, make love, relax, etc. Don’t complain that you feel bad with him - talk about what you need to feel good.
• Hasn't he given flowers for a long time? Doesn't confess his love? Doesn't he pat you on the head when he passes by? Will he call from work one more time to say that he misses you? Firstly, this is normal for people who have been living together for a long time. This does not mean that the feelings have faded away - just that the relationship has moved to another level. And secondly, how long has it been since you called him to say that you missed him? When was the last time you did it? pleasant surprises? When did you even dress at home just for him, your beloved?
• Leave everything - work, friends, embroidery courses, and dogs and children - to your grandmother's dacha for 2-3 weeks. Book a tour to a place where you can fully shake up your senses. Not just lying on the beach and crunching shrimp with a glass of wine, but so that your heart skips a beat with delight, your knees shake, and happiness covers you completely when you hold your husband’s hand. Shake yourself and your family out of the routine. The time has come to remember what happiness is.

• Change everything! Without novelty, life is boring and insipid. And boredom kills feelings. Change the furniture and menu for a week, change the route to work, the type of transport, hairstyle, image, handbags, hobbies and even, if necessary, job. By the way, it is often work that becomes the “red button”: fatigue and dissatisfaction from work is projected onto family life, and it seems that “everything is bad.” In general, change yourself!

• A look at a husband at home and a look at a husband outside the home are “two big differences.” A man who goes out into the world changes before our eyes, awakening all forgotten feelings. This is no longer a good old husband in sweatpants on the sofa with a cup of tea and a bag of gingerbread, but a man who is “wow”, at whom girls turn, who smells excitingly of expensive perfume, and when looking at whom there is a feeling of pride - “ He is mine". Therefore, quit your home gatherings and tea parties near the TV and get into the habit - spending evenings with your spouse is extraordinary. To be remembered. Fortunately, there are a lot of options.

• Find a hobby for two.Something that you both get excited about - fishing, sailing, karting, dancing, photography, cinema, swimming, etc.
• Go on a trip. If, of course, the children can already be left alone or with their grandmothers. By car or “tourists”, together, having laid out an interesting route in advance.
• Have you already come to terms with the loss of feelings for your spouse? And you continue to live by inertia, feeling sorry for yourself and tormenting your spouse with your sour expression? Maybe you're just comfortable in a state of eternal blues? There are such people. Which are good only when everything is bad. Then life becomes more interesting, and even sad poems are written at night. If If you are one of those “creative” people, look for another reason for suffering. Otherwise, this game of “where did the love go” will end with your husband packing his suitcase and waving at you.

Well, and most importantly:answer yourself the question - can you even live without your husband? Imagine that you are separated. Forever. Can you? If the answer is “no,” then you need to rest and change your environment. Most likely, you are just tired and see everything in black, including your relationships. Well, if the answer is “yes,” then, apparently, your family boat is no longer subject to repair. Because true love does not even suggest the thought of parting.

Have there been similar situations in your family life? And how did you get out of them? Share your stories in the comments below!

Almost all couples, without exception, go through cooling in their relationships. Seeing a wife lose interest in her husband is unpleasant for everyone. Loving husband looking for an answer to the question of how to return his old love. If you approach this situation wisely, the crisis may not be the end of a relationship, but open new ones.

Many men regard the fading of active sexual interest and attention as the end of love. The situation is not so tragic. Psychologists say that violent passion is present in a relationship for no more than 3 years, after which the family moves into a calm phase of the relationship, where love takes the form of care and support. In most families, the wife bears all the household responsibilities; she also works and takes care of the children. It is not surprising that she gets tired and does not have the strength to pay the same attention to her husband. You just need to relieve your wife of household chores.

Discord may occur as a result of a long-simmering conflict. Physiologists and psychologists are well aware of the complex structure of the female brain. A woman can be upset by any little thing that a man doesn’t pay attention to.

Accumulated grievances can result in a scandal or silent rejection, which can come as a complete surprise to a man.

Regardless of what stage of the conflict the man noticed something was wrong in his family, he begins to think about how to return his wife’s attention so that everything is as before. To understand the causes of an obvious or hidden conflict, spouses need to learn to talk about feelings and experiences with their spouse, be interested in his condition and take responsibility for their words. You can use the “I-message” for this: not “you offend me,” but “it hurts me when you act like this.” It is necessary to remove guesses from relationships that may have nothing to do with reality.

According to psychologists, conflict arises when the balance between “giving” and “receiving” is disturbed. There comes a point when those who give more begin to feel deprived. If a wife finds herself in this situation, her interest in her husband gradually begins to fade. For a person to feel happy in a couple, he needs to receive more than he gives. Each person has their own areas and needs for giving. It is important to talk through and clarify the spouses' expectations. A working wife expects her husband to help her with cleaning on the weekend, and her husband dreams of going on a picnic. An option to solve the problem: clean up together on Friday, and go on a picnic together on Saturday.

There are a number of tips that, if followed, will have a positive impact on marital relations. They should be used regularly as medicine. Constancy and sincerity will increase the degree of mutual feelings with your spouse.

Little men's tricks.

• not a day without: it is important to notice real positive manifestations loved one, and not get off with a stock phrase;
• finding a way to spend quality time while tuning in to each other;
• visiting cafes, exhibitions, restaurants or picnics. You need to share interests and delve into your wife’s inner world;
• please your spouse with signs of attention. These can be inexpensive, necessary gifts;
• the husband needs to take on part of his wife’s household responsibilities in order to relieve her of the burden.

If everyone in the family tries to defend their interests and win, the victory of one leads to a loss for the whole family.

Even if the loser agrees to sacrifice his interests, deep down he feels unhappy, which means that the conflict from the hidden phase will sooner or later emerge into open confrontation.

Instead of arguing, take a break. In order to understand what is truly true and what is an emotional breakdown, you need to rise above the situation. It’s worth trying to see her from someone else’s position, trying to understand how the wife feels. Listen without getting emotional - The best way return the wife's feelings to her husband. Having expressed her opinion, she will feel relieved, which means it will be possible to build a dialogue with her.

You can try to separate for a while, go on a business trip, visit friends or parents. A week away from each other usually helps. This is enough time to relax, get bored and think about your relationship. However, you should not delay the temporary separation, because after three weeks the spouses will already get used to each other and may begin to think that they are fine being alone.

If following all of the above does not produce results, then the reason for the cooling lies deeper. A wife may be offended by her husband for something that he does not attach importance to. This can be sorted out by being open and trusting to each other. You can also seek help from a family psychologist. The best result comes from a couple's consultation, but if the wife is not ready to go to a specialist, the husband can consult a psychologist on his own. A good psychologist will help not only understand a loved one and see the roots, but also better understand yourself.

Video on the topic

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The question of how to return the love of a husband is asked by many women when any doubts about the strength of their family relationships creep into their heads.

Only when any unusual changes begin in the relationship between the spouses does the woman begin to worry and think that she, too, must certainly be returned. Psychologists give enough universal tips on this occasion.

In contact with

You can return it, yes. But it's difficult.

Psychologists believe that our habits depend on our internal state. For a woman sometimes it becomes the most important husband, home, family, work, kitchen - everything except herself. Roughly speaking, she stops loving herself. If there is no love for you, then there will be nowhere to get love from the outside. Without self-love, you cannot return your husband's love. Attention! Love and egocentrism are different things, don’t confuse them.

Psychologists also highlight the other extreme. When the wife is perfect. Your legs are always perfectly shaved, your hair is always perfectly neat, your dress is always perfectly ironed. And for whom? Psychologists believe that about 8/10 women try this hard for the sake of men and their attention. Not for yourself, but for someone else. Again: is it possible to return a man’s love when you don’t even love yourself? It seems like different things, but the outcome is the same.

Much more difficult is the question of how to return your husband's love. It would seem that the situation has changed radically - here he has already left for another woman and now it seems like his love belongs to her, that’s it, it can’t be returned. But no! Psychologists believe that this is simply the next stage of an existing problem, that it is just a matter of time.

The key to regaining your husband's respect and love is you. According to the opinions of many psychologists, the main thing is to regain interest in yourself, and then your husband’s love will return.

How to get your husband's attention and love back?

Do you love your husband yourself? This is not about care and guardianship, but about love.

Purposefully thinking about how to return your husband’s attention and love if you don’t have such feelings yourself is illogical. And no, you can’t say “let him take the steps first, he’s a man.” Psychologists say that you are responsible only for yourself, therefore, if you really want to return your husband’s love, you should consider him as a person, a personality, and love this personality. And you can’t return something that didn’t exist, especially love.

So, how to return a husband's love for his wife? Psychologists believe that in order to return love, sometimes it is enough to analyze the following aspects:

• self-perception;
• self-development;
• your behavior towards your husband.

Psychologists also note that this list is hierarchical - from the first comes the second, from the second comes the third.

Self-perception

Think about what you are for you. How do you perceive yourself? Why you.

Psychologists use these three key questions to determine a woman’s self-esteem and self-love. Therefore, psychologists advise using a very simple test. Take a piece of paper and write 5-10 points for each such question.

What/who are you?

Pay attention to the exact words you used to describe yourself - they will indicate your priorities.

If you first of all wrote that you are a woman, then your gender is fundamental to you. It is quite possible that you justify many of your own and other people’s actions with this. Such people tend to share housework, occupation, mentality, etc. into feminine and masculine.

Think about it: do you have any gender prejudices? Was it ever that someone imposed their concept of a woman on you, putting it in the foreground, and you didn’t have the willpower/desire to stick to your line?

If you have identified yourself as a person with a specific occupation (“artist”, “teacher”, “ballerina”, “scientist”), your emphasis is more on realizing your potential. Think about whether you are sacrificing something very important for the sake of the business that you have chosen as your main one?

Moving forward in your business is great, but psychologists believe that everything should be in moderation. You can't return love if you don't have time for it.

Doesn’t it happen when you brush aside your needs and those close to you in order to complete some project or task?

Psychologists believe that if a woman chooses an elaborate answer to this question (“goddess”, “work of art”, “perfection”, “True Woman”, etc.), there are clear demonstrative or hysterical elements in her behavior. Such ladies are prone to theatrical reactions to many events, as well as manipulation. As psychologists note, returning love with such “window dressing” is quite problematic.

What are you?

These descriptions, according to psychologists, also speak very eloquently about your self-esteem.

If you described mostly external characteristics (“tall”, “beautiful”, “blond”, “large”), psychologists may come to the conclusion that:

• you are a visual person - you receive most of the information using a visual analyzer;
• the attractiveness of your partner is really important to you;
• When winning someone over, you place more bets on your appearance.

Women who described some of their functional characteristics (“hardworking,” “efficient,” “hardy”) are characterized by psychologists as pragmatic. They:

• prefer practice to theory;
• they perceive dreamy people as a lower and infantile class;
• they don’t like typical gifts with a taste of candy romance - banal, stupid and boring.

According to psychologists, ladies who most described their own emotional component (“cheerful”, “irritable”, “harmonious”) are characterized by:

• good intuition and empathy;
• the predominance of sensory perception over intellectual;
• focusing on your perception of situations;
• kinesthetic type of representative system - receive information using tactile sensations.

If you described personal, including strong-willed, character traits (“purposeful,” “decisive,” “assiduous”), then, according to psychologists, you tend to:

• independence and self-sufficiency;
• selfishness;
• work for results.

Why are you?

The answer to this question, according to practicing psychologists, helps determine goals and priorities. You wrote what you need to realize. Someone wants to become a professional in a certain field, someone wants to raise brilliant children, for some it is more important to create a world-class masterpiece or make a shocking discovery. Some people just want love.

A very important detail: if you have a clear preference towards living for the sake of someone/something, pull yourself together!

Psychologists never tire of repeating that renunciation of one’s own “I”, of one’s nature, indicates a lack of love for oneself as a person. This leads to negative changes in many relationships, including in love.

Self-development

Remember the last time you tried to master something. And not just master it, but master it for yourself. Not for beauty, not for status or a partner, but in order to grow in your own eyes and learn something.

Psychologists believe that if you don’t remember or if you stopped your personal growth because of some nonsense, problems will begin to creep up on every front. If you don’t develop on your own, love cannot be returned.

Behavior

According to psychologists, the most common pathological behavior in a family is the infantilism of one + the guardianship of the other. “Son-mother” or “father-daughter” pairs are formed. Psychologists view this as a codependent relationship that is initially doomed to failure.

Son-mother couples are characterized by the childish irresponsible behavior of the husband-son, which is accompanied by the all-forgiving care of the wife-mother. It is typical for such husbands:

• demanding attention and company;
• inability to make decisions independently;
• an indication that someone owes something to someone;
• manipulation to get what you want.

• the eternal craving to do something for her husband;
• obsession;
• tendency to take offense;
• appeal to conscience.

Father-daughter pairs are characterized by an opposite distribution of roles. The husband-father takes on the dominant role over his wife, and the wife-daughter remains a cute princess with a Barbie doll. Such husbands have the following characteristics:

• the desire to educate and reprimand the wife;
• control over the wife’s activities;
• emphasizing his wife's dependence on him.

The wives of this couple are characterized by the following:

• tendency to be capricious;
• irresponsibility;
• a demand for abstract care and understanding.

How to rekindle the old passion in a relationship?

That is, there was passion, but due to some reasons it began to wane. The beauty of this is that you already have the experience that can tell you how to return your husband’s former love.

Before you wonder how to rekindle passion and win back your husband's love, remember when you sincerely wanted sex.

And if you think for yourself and develop for yourself, as well as have sex purely for your own pleasure, you will no longer worry about how to get back former passion. And a man’s love will flare up even more if he feels that you are enjoying the process itself, and not your own false dedication “for the benefit of others.” This “for good” destroys families; it is often impossible to return love.

A separate group includes wives who have sex with their husbands solely for his pleasure. The couple has sex, not the husband! The husband will get his in 97% of the outcome! Think about yourself!

So, how can you bring passion back into your relationship with your husband? Practicing psychologists believe that you should:

• rethink your attitude towards your husband as a person - appearance is appearance, and excitement, like love, originates in the brain (where it needs to be returned), and not in the genitals;
• and your attractiveness - if you walk around the house stooped, with dirty hair and in a shabby robe, it is not surprising that it is somewhat difficult to return your husband’s enthusiasm towards you;
• overcome shyness and social inhibitions by discussing the issue of sex with your husband - who else should you discuss this with if not with him?
• love experiments and using them in your Everyday life– diversity will be a manifestation of your interest in this area, so it will be easier to return passion and love;
• pay attention to your own feelings during lovemaking and don’t focus on returning passion and pleasing your husband - sex for two.

More pragmatic advice from psychologists and psychotherapists regarding how to return the passion and love of your husband is as follows:

1. Learn to undress beautifully and gracefully - this is very exciting for about 40% of men.
2. About 60% of men love elegant lace lingerie on their wives - buy several sets for different occasions to bring back the spice to your intimacy.
3. Don’t be afraid to give a signal that you feel good: if you want to moan, moan, if you want to breathe, breathe. Don't hold back. It is important for a man to clearly record your positive reaction to his activity.
4. Remember that 65% of men prefer to alternate between traditional sex and oral sex.
5. There are very few men who are psychics. In order for him to understand your desires, it would be best to direct your husband’s hand to the right place. In some cases, you can just say it, but most men prefer the first option.
6. Be dynamic - the puritanical days are long gone, and you no longer have to remain in a stable position lying on your back in a long nightgown.
7. Train yourself to arch your back. It is beautiful.

How to stir up interest in yourself after the birth of a child?

It should be remembered that for 1 month after the birth of the baby, not only psychologists, but also gynecologists recommend refraining from making love. Psychologists draw attention to the fact that this time is the phase of adaptation of the husband and wife to the arrival of the baby, therefore the sensual part of their life together fades into the background.

During the period of breastfeeding, psychologists note the following nuance: if previously the breast was an object of decoration and pleasure for a man, now it does not belong to him, and the former priorities can no longer be returned. And on an instinctive level, the husband understands this.

The period of the first year after the birth of a child, according to psychologists, is a test of empathy and the strength of the family. Then, normally, sexual relations with your husband should be balanced and move to another level, and there is no need to artificially return them. Of course, love doesn't go away.

It happens that a husband’s attitude towards his wife changes noticeably after the birth of a child.

This is often observed in:

• couples who have lived together for a long time without a child (more than 3 years);
• couples who got married because of pregnancy;
• families where a child is born with health problems.

The new responsibility is obliging and frightening at the same time, which is why many wives after childbirth are faced with the question of how to return passion to their relationship with their husband after the birth of a child.

Actually, how to return passion to the relationship between husband and wife if another small family member has appeared? Psychologists advise the following:

1. Get to grips with your self-esteem. She must be returned! Yes, you now have a child, but you have not stopped being a person, you have not stopped being a woman who has a beloved husband. Remember this.
2. Clarify with your husband all these subtle nuances of your relationship - without this, there is no way to return love.
3. If suddenly you both have a fear that another cute screaming creature will appear at home, and then another and another, the solution is very banal and simple: use contraceptives.
4. Learn to relax. Sometimes there is not enough physical strength to make love, so there is no desire to return the passion.

How to return love to your husband?

And yet, how to return the love of a husband to his wife? A psychologist's advice, as a rule, is based on a specific situation and is developed specifically, taking into account many factors. But any experienced psychologist will tell you that analyzing the above-mentioned personality aspects can help bring back feelings. What should be done, according to psychologists, based on the findings obtained, in order to return the love of your spouse?

If new topics for reflection were found when analyzing yourself, you should take this seriously:

1. Don’t tie any traits or antics to generally accepted labels, because a man leaves for another not because he is a man, but because he too lacks something.
2. Find a balance between all the areas in which you are involved (family, love, work, education, creativity), and make sure that there is no strong preponderance in one direction.
3. Watch your reaction to your usual conversations with your husband: if something causes melancholy, irritation or some other type of negative emotion, you should think about the reason for what hurts you.
4. Learn to respect other people's opinions: you and your husband may have different positions on the same issues, this is normal.
5. Set your priorities in such a way that you can pay attention to yourself and interact with your husband - so that you have time for what you really want to get back.
6. If you are confused, do not be afraid to consult a psychologist or psychotherapist.

Start practicing for yourself, not for others:

1. Find an activity that you like, not fashion/girlfriends/husband, etc.;
2. Stop using lack of time and money as excuses.

When analyzing your own behavior with your husband, in order to return his love, you should:

1. Break out of vicious circle“superior-subordinate” (“son-mother”, “father-daughter”) and behave like a person who respects other people’s boundaries and interests (if this is really hard for you, an experienced practicing psychologist will help you “get yourself back”).
2. Get rid of addiction in your relationship with your husband - you are different people who made a strong-willed decision to develop together.
3. Learn to be independent.
4. Let your husband go if he needs it - to work, to some events, from home. He is also a person, like you, who has the right to dispose of himself.

There is no universal way to do this. Advice from psychologists flashed like red threads at every point. It is noteworthy that an adequate psychologist will not recommend manipulating a man or forcing him to do anything. Psychologists believe that before thinking about how to return love to her husband, a wife should engage in her own self-esteem and self-development.

In addition to the step-by-step analysis methods described above, psychologists recommend using tests based on archetypes and intuitive perception - drawings. Psychologists pay attention to different elements drawings, each of which denotes one or another sphere of your perception.

A popular test that determines a person’s emotional state is the “Nonexistent Animal” test. It is necessary to use colored pencils so that the test can be interpreted as accurately as possible. To correctly understand the results of this test, you need the help of an experienced psychologist or psychotherapist who will assess the client’s general emotional background, his inclinations, and can also diagnose some changes and accents in sexual behavior.

A similar test is “Lamb in a Bottle,” which helps the psychologist determine the client’s attitude to the external environment, to society, and to love.

In some situations, a psychologist may not give a general answer, but one that suits your situation. But then the psychologist needs to delve into your relationship, which is not done online.

Useful video

Psychologists advise first deciding what you want to return. If you are sure that your relationship is fading away, and you really want to return and maintain love, then the game is worth the candle. So, how to return your husband’s former passion and love:

Conclusion

1. Psychologists believe that you can return your husband’s love by analyzing your behavior, as well as by changing your attitude towards yourself. You can analyze it yourself, or with the help of some tests, which a psychologist will help you interpret.
2. Most psychologists advise having a frank conversation with your husband, which would dot all the i’s.
3. It is necessary to engage in self-development - this is partly the answer to the question of how to return love. And your husband’s interest will thus be directed towards you, as well as his attraction.

What to do if feelings for your husband fade away - women's online magazine “Pretty Women Life”

People can meet, fall in love, get married, give birth and raise children, and live life. But at some point in the life of every family person, changes appear. Looking at your beloved spouse, you can see that after 6 years of marriage, his eyes no longer sparkle so much. Either he becomes a stranger, or love fades away. In such a situation, silence cannot be avoided. You shouldn’t expect your husband to be able to read his wife’s thoughts. It is important to take the first step yourself and start a conversation with your partner about what you are not happy with about him. At the same time, it is important to try to release the resentment in advance so that the conversation with your husband does not lead to a scandal. A walk in the park all alone, screaming in a deserted place will help with this. It is also recommended to think through the conversation in advance and figure out all possible ways to get out of a crisis situation. Human thoughts can also affect the fading of feelings for a partner, so it is extremely important to always think only about pleasant and positive things. If your feelings for your partner begin to fade, remember where you had your first kiss with him, how exciting the dates were, because these are most often the best moments of life. Looking at old joint photos, correspondence, and videos can help with this. If in the process of remembering your heart begins to beat, you are the right way. After this, it is recommended to spend some time alone with your husband. You can have a pillow fight, ride a bike, watch a movie cuddling, visit an amusement park or have a romantic dinner by candlelight. Naturally, everyday worries and fatigue do not allow you to relax. But you can always find a period for romance. Even standard breakfast preparation can be turned into a romantic competition if two people do it together. Also, in order to rekindle disappeared feelings, a woman should show more attention and care to her man. It is important to meet and see him off with kisses, cook his favorite dishes, talk tender words, give sensual touches. This is the only way to change his attitude towards you. By touching your significant other as often as possible, stroking his hand or simply touching his shoulder, a man will change before his eyes. Such moments have a fairly good effect on restoring feelings. By reminding a man of himself, his heart will beat faster, awakening positive emotions. Many married people, over time, stop paying attention to sexual relationships, moving them to the background. Passion and sex are not only necessary for young people. Don't be afraid to experiment. This is very important for renewing feelings. You also need to learn to tell your partner about your deepest desires and thoughts without being embarrassed. It is important to remember that your spouse is exactly the person you once fell in love with. Naturally, over time, he has changed a lot, but you have also become different. Even if the fire in your heart has subsided a little, you can still return everything to the initial level of the relationship.