Consultation

“Ways for effective communication between teachers and parents”

Currently, interaction with parents of pupils occupies a worthy place among the priority areas of the educational process of preschool institutions.

Thus, according to self-analysis carried out by teachers of the capital’s kindergartens, the main reasons hindering effective interaction with families are increased demands on parents, instilling in them a negative image of the child, uncertainty about being right, inability to accept the parents’ point of view, reluctance to seek an approach to each member families.

The effectiveness of educational work with the child depends on the nature of the relationship between the teacher and the family. Lack of mutual understanding, differences in views on some issues of the upbringing and development of a preschooler - all this leads to an increase in mistrust between the teacher and the family, and mismatches their actions.

Techniques for effective communication with parents.

In communication between a teacher and parents, two types of communication can be distinguished:

1. ​Group (frontal) communication - implies specially organized events aimed at solving a number of information, cognitive and communication tasks;
2. ​Differentiated pedagogical communication - implies both specially organized and spontaneous communication between a teacher and one or a subgroup of parents.

The teacher copes with the tasks of frontal communication, most often, successfully. Almost any teacher can hold a traditional parent-teacher meeting, give a lecture, or give a thematic group consultation.

Differentiated pedagogical communication in most cases causes great difficulties for the modern teacher, since it implies direct individual contact.

The nature of communication between the teacher and parents is determined by the following components:

1. ​ psychological and pedagogical preparedness;
2. ​ communicative culture of the teacher;

​ 3. personal psychological readiness.

Personal psychological readiness presupposes a sufficient level of mastery of communication techniques. It is important for the teacher to learn to communicate with parents in such a way as to avoid the position of “accuser” and a negative assessment of the child. The “I-message” technique, developed by Thomas Gordon, effectively helps with this. If used skillfully, it helps to build mutual understanding between teacher and parent, as well as reduce tension.

With the help of the “I-message” you can not only express the feelings that arise in a teacher in tense situations, but also correctly identify existing problems, and at the same time, importantly, realize your own responsibility for solving them.

In order to master the “I-message” technique, you need to be aware of your own feelings and be able to correctly communicate about them.

The “I message” consists of four parts (Table 1).

The first part is an objective, impartial description of a situation or person’s behavior that causes you negative feelings (tension, irritation, dissatisfaction). Most often, such a description begins with the word “when”: “When I see that...”; “When I hear...”; “When I am faced with the fact that...” IMPORTANT: in the first part of the “I-message” you only need to state the fact, while avoiding both ambiguity and accusatory tone and moralizing. Talk about the person's behavior (child or parent), but do not evaluate his personality.

In the second part of the “I-message” you need to talk about the feelings that you experience about the person’s behavior (“I feel irritated, helpless, pain, upset,” etc.).

In the third part of the “I-message” it is necessary to clearly and clearly show what negative impact exerts this behavior. The fourth part contains a request or message about how exactly your communication partner can replace his behavior.

It is necessary to try to ensure that “I am the message” does not turn into “You (You) are the message”; this is a mistake that leads to “slipping” into the position of the accuser. This mistake can be avoided by using impersonal sentences.

For example:

1. ​ I'm upset that you still haven't brought your gym uniform! - wrong!

​ I'm upset when the kids don't have physical fitness - that's right!

Of course, to use the “I-message” technique, you need practice and training; time must pass until this form of feedback becomes a habitual, natural communication skill for the teacher.
Perhaps at first the “I-message” will seem unusual and artificial, but it is important not to back down, because once teachers have mastered this method of communication, they will definitely appreciate its effectiveness.

* The material presented here about the “I-Message” technique can be used by senior educators for consultation and practical exercises in applying this technique in practice.

Sample code of communication:

Always strive to be in good mood and be pleasant to talk to.

Try to feel the emotional state of the parents.

Finding an opportunity to tell parents something positive about their child every time is The best way win parents over.

Give parents the opportunity to speak without interrupting them.

Be emotionally balanced when communicating with parents, set an example of good manners and tact.

Conducting a conversation with parents at the initiative of the teacher.

1. Setting a psychological goal.

– What do I want from my parents?(Pour out your irritation on the child? Punish the child with the hands of the parents? Show the parents their pedagogical failure?)

With all of the above options, you should not call parents, since such psychological goals indicate the professional helplessness of the teacher and will negatively affect communication between the teacher and the family.

2. Organizing the start of a dialogue.

Welcome ceremony.

When greeting parents, you need to leave what you’re doing, stand up to meet them, smile, say a friendly word of greeting, introduce yourself (if you are meeting for the first time), and address them by their first name and patronymic.

3. Establishing consent to contact.This means that the teacher must discuss the time for the dialogue, especially if he sees that the parent is in a hurry, it is necessary to clarify how much time he has. It is better to postpone the conversation than to have it in a hurry, because it will not be learned anyway.

4. Creating an environment for dialogue isthat he thinks through where and how the dialogue will take place. It is unacceptable for the teacher to sit and the parent to stand, or for the teacher to sit at his desk and the parent to sit in a highchair.

Having sat the parent down, you need to ask if he is comfortable, pay attention to his and your gestures and postures.

Gestures and postures should demonstrate openness and goodwill (arms crossed on the chest, hands on the belt - “hands on hips”, head thrown back, etc.) are unacceptable.

To relieve the parent’s stress and move on to the problem, the purpose of the call should be correctly and specifically communicated, for example: “I wanted to know better ( baby name ) to approach him”, “We need to get to know you better in order to act together”, “I don’t know very well yet ( baby name ), I see both positive and not so positive traits in him, I need your help to understand him better,” etc.

When calling a parent for a conversation, the teacher should not forget that a conversation implies dialogue, therefore, he needs to think through not only his message, but also what he wants to hear from the parent, so he needs to formulate his questions to the preschooler’s parents and give them the opportunity to speak .

Conducting a dialogue.The beginning of the conversation should contain positive information about the child, and these are not value judgments: “You have good boy, but... (then there is negative information for 10 minutes"), and a message about specific facts characterizing a child with positive side. This beginning indicates that the teacher is observant and friendly, i.e., a professional.

Facts about behavior that cause concern to the teacher must be presented very correctly, without value judgments that begin with “not”: “He is disobedient, disorganized, ill-mannered, etc.”

Also, after positive information about the student, you should not continue the story about negative facts through the conjunction “but”: “Your son is neat, tidy, but disorganized.”

It’s best to move on to hard-hitting facts in the form of asking for advice: “I don’t know Petya very well yet, could you help me figure it out (then comes a description of the fact) or “I can’t understand...”, “I’m worried...”, “ I want to understand what is behind this...”

The teacher must constantly emphasize the common goal of him and the parents regarding the future child, therefore one should not use the expression “Your son,” i.e., contrast oneself and the parents.

The most important thing in a conversation is the parent’s statement, since it is this that makes the conversation a conversation, a dialogue.

The teacher is required to have the ability to listen. After the teacher finishes his message with a question to the parent regarding this problem, he, using active listening techniques, can learn a lot of important and necessary things about the student and his family. To do this, the teacher needs to show with all his appearance that he is listening attentively to the parent.

You can express your participation in the dialogue by reflecting your feelings about the parent’s story: “I’m glad that we have common views on...”, “I was surprised...”, “I’m upset...”, etc. Fulfilling this condition prevents conflict from arising. when there is a difference of opinion and promotes mutual understanding between the parties.

Specific advice should be given by the teacher only if the parent asks him for advice.

They will be effective when they are specific in content, accessible to implement, and simple in presentation.

Ending the dialogue. The teacher is recommended to summarize the conversation based on the technique of reflective listening - “summarizing”: “If we now summarize what you said, then...” and outline ways for further cooperation, agree on the purpose, place and time of the future meeting.

The conversation with parents should end with a farewell ceremony.

When saying goodbye to the parent, the teacher should, addressing him by name and patronymic, thank him for the conversation, express his satisfaction with it, see the parent off and say the words of farewell kindly and with a smile.

Conducting a conversation by the teacher at the initiative of the parents.

1. Establishing consent to contact.(Participants in the dialogue discuss the time it will take place.)

Imagine the situation: Your mother’s visit was unexpected for you. You don't have time to talk to her. What will you do?

Having shown maximum attention and consideration to the mother, the teacher, instead of avoiding dialogue, should inform her that he did not know about her arrival and has planned a very important matter that cannot be postponed, and has time in ... minutes, if the mother is satisfied with this, then we can talk if no, then he will listen to her at any time convenient for her.

Thus, the teacher makes it clear that he wants dialogue, despite unfavorable circumstances.

1. Listen to the parent. Allow the parent to let off steam. Remember that in fact, aggression is not directed at you, but at the image that your parents have. You should mentally separate yourself from this image and, observing the conversation as if from the outside, try to understand what lies behind the aggression, what worries the parent? It is important not to respond to aggression with aggression, because otherwise the situation may become uncontrollable.

Watch your posture!

The teacher’s expression of sympathy and understanding of the parents’ experiences: “I see that you are concerned about the behavior of (child’s name), “I’ll try to understand you...”, “Let’s figure it out together” - will give the conversation a constructive character, which will help to find out the true reason for contacting the teacher.

The teacher should not miss the fact that the parent comes with certain facts. The teacher's task is to determine the degree of validity of these facts.

The inconsistency of these facts can be proven only with the help of convincing arguments. The teacher’s ability to use objective, well-founded arguments increases his competence in the eyes of parents.

All parent questions must be answered. This helps move the conversation to a business level of communication and clarify all the other “pain points” of the parent in the area of ​​upbringing and development of his child.

The conversation should also be ended at the initiative of the teacher.

Psychology article: “Teacher and parent: conflict or cooperation”

Author of the work: Maria Aleksandrovna Shpanagel, educational psychologist.
Job title: Recommendations for teachers to work with parents: “Teacher and parent: conflict or cooperation.”
The content of the work: This article will be useful for teachers and educators, as they have constant contact with the parents of pupils and students. The ability to build constructive communication with parents is an integral part of teaching skills. Effective communication between teachers and parents will make the educational process more successful and fruitful.
Target: raise communicative competence teachers, overcome the difficulties of teachers in communication and interaction with parents, look for reserves for more effective communication, highlight the reasons for possible or true communication problems; develop an internal position on building relationships with parents based on cooperation.
Tasks:
1. teachers’ awareness of their own achievements and problems in communicating with parents;
2. development of the teacher’s ability to adequately, non-judgmentally, perceive the students’ parents from the position of a partner;
3. developing the skills to model a communication strategy with parents from the perspective of dialogue.
4. promoting increased self-confidence, removing psychological barriers to communication with parents, and implementing an individual approach to parents.
The success of a teacher largely depends on the ability to communicate. At the same time, the leading role in communication between the teacher and parents belongs to the former, since he is the official representative educational institution. That is why knowing and practicing effective communication techniques is one of the key components of teaching skills.
One of the problems that teachers encounter in their work is the problem of helping parents raise their children. Undoubtedly, many teachers are faced with the question of how to give advice to parents, how to learn to provide them with real help, how to communicate not only good, but also negative information about children, if necessary. And while experienced teachers feel more confident in these matters, young professionals often have difficulty establishing contact with parents.
Where to start communication
It's important to make contact(find out interests, difficulties, problems), emphasize the child’s positive traits, then criticize, identify the problem.
Express a positive attitude:“Thank you for your attention...”
Avoid phrases containing uncertainty, abundance of apologies:“Sorry if I pulled you away from work...”, “If you have time to listen to me...”.
Avoid phrases containing disrespect or disdain for the interlocutor:“Let’s talk quickly,” “I don’t have much time.”
Avoid attack phrases:“What a disgrace is going on”
We will look at several ways to communicate negative information about a child.
Method one
The principle of alternating positive and negative (“sandwich” technique).
When talking with parents, the teacher should focus not on blaming, but on jointly finding ways to solve the problem, which will help make communication more effective. It is better to start the conversation by telling the good things about the child, and then move on to the unpleasant moments. Such a conversation should also end on a good note. When reporting unpleasant moments, you need to talk about the child’s misconduct, and not about his personality.
Method two
The use of speech cliches that direct parents to cooperate with the teacher.
You can use the following speech stamps:
It is better to express an appeal to parents in the form of a request, rather than a demand, “Vera Alekseevna! Could you..." "Vera Alekseevna! I ask..." (Compare: "Vera Alekseevna! You must...! You must...!")
It is advisable to puzzle the parent: “Have you noticed that lately...” “What do you think this might be connected with?” (Compare: “Sasha constantly..., today he again...).
Show concern for the child “You know, I’m very worried that... What do you think could be the reason for this?” (Compare: “Your child... (so-and-so), all the time...".)
Use the style of indirect questions: “What kind of specialist do you think is best for you to discuss..?” (Compare: “Sasha has (such and such problems)..., you definitely need to see... (doctor, psychologist, psychiatrist).”
The pronoun “We” is used, which emphasizes the commonality of interests, solidarity with parents “Let’s try together to do...(this or that)”, “Let’s think together about how we can help Sasha...”.

Demonstrate awareness and competence in the topic being discussed. Objectively describe the problem situation, forecast and possible dynamics in the event of making a particular decision. Let the other person make a choice (alternative choice). Discuss the strengths and weaknesses of this solution. Show competence, but not superiority; phrases like “I know better”, “I’m sure”, “out of the question”, “you’re wrong”, “You’re wrong” are undesirable. You can refer to the opinion of other specialists, the decision of the council: “according to the decision of specialists”, “according to my observation”.
Descriptions of situations must be specific. Avoid expressions with the words “always” or “never”. “Your child always interferes in class,” “He never does his homework.” Note in which lessons he interfered, what rules of conduct he violated, what exactly he did not do, etc.
To be more convincing, use verbal locks: “Isn’t it the same?”, “Am I speaking correctly?”, “Really?”.
Thus, you actively involve the person in receiving information.
Don't use another child as an example. Jokes, anecdotes, diminutive suffixes (two, notebook, etc.) are unacceptable.
At the end of the meeting, summarize: “So, we decided...”, “I propose to postpone our meeting, since no decision has been made...”, “What conclusions did you draw from our meeting?”, “What decision did you make?” Give thanks.
Method three
Communicating negative information about a child in a positive way
With this method of presenting information about the child, the emphasis should be on the child’s achievements, even if they are not very significant for you as an adult. Rephrasing the content in a positive way allows the parent to understand the situation without feeling discomfort or guilt for their child. For example:
Today Vanya was able to carefully complete the task for 10 minutes and was never distracted.
or
Vanya cannot sit still for more than 10 minutes and is constantly distracted.

Marina can't do anything on her own!
or
For Marina to succeed, you need to do it together with her.

Sasha cannot work at the same pace as the class in class.
or
Sasha completes all the tasks in class, but it takes him more time to do it.

Without the help of an adult, Kolya does not know how to negotiate with the guys, work together, and often conflicts.
or
Under the guidance of an adult, Kolya follows instructions and performs joint affairs with the guys.

Method four
Using the “lawyer” style when communicating
With this style of communication, the teacher takes a position of respect and interest in parents, does not express his approval or censure, but simply provides assistance in the current situation).
I don't blame you or your child for what happened. If this happened, then there are still some reasons for this.
Method five
Using Active Listening Techniques
For many people, active listening techniques are beyond the capabilities of even such a simple technique as the ability to listen to the interlocutor without interrupting him. But this is the basis of active listening and a sign of basic politeness. Let's consider the simplest manifestations of the active listening method:
slight tilt of the body towards the interlocutor;
regular head nods during the interlocutor’s speech;
flashes of eyes;
facial expressions corresponding to the subject of conversation;
assenting as a sign of agreement;
explanations along the way;
asking again at the end of the statement (“that is, as I understand...”);
summing up (“in general, you decided...”);
expression of empathy;
empathy (“did this upset you?”), etc.
The technique of active listening allows you to win over your interlocutor, convince him that what he says is really important to you, and even allows you to influence his point of view, leading him to new conclusions, using only the information that he gave you.
Method six
Application of the “I am statements” technique
I - statements allow a person to listen to you and calmly answer you.
"I-statements" scheme
1. Description of the situation that caused tension: When I see that you...; When this happens...; When I am faced with...
2. Exactly naming your feeling: I feel... (irritation, helplessness, bitterness, pain, bewilderment, etc.); I don't know how to react...; I have a problem...
3. Naming the reasons: Because...; due to the fact that…
For example: Vitya misses a lot of classes. I'm worried about Viti's academic performance because of the absences! The boy spends a lot of time computer games. I'm worried that Kolya is too passionate about computer games.
If you say a negative sentence, your energy level is lower than if you say a positive sentence. Such a message expends a lot of energy from the teacher, students, and parents, and they remember this day as unpleasant. Avoid such offers.
Literature
1. 7 golden rules of business communication (title from the screen) [Electronic resource].
2. Bodaleva A.A., Spivakovskaya A.S., Karpova N.L. Popular psychology for parents. MPSI. Flint Publishing House, 1998.
3. Bolotina L.R. Class teacher in a modern primary school // Primary School. 1995. № 6.
4. Kovaleva L.M., Tarasenko N.N. Psychological analysis of the features of adaptation of first-graders at school // Elementary school. 1996. No. 7. P.17.
5. Falkovich T.A., Tolstoukhova N.S., Obukhova L.A. Non-traditional forms working with parents. M.: 5 for knowledge, 2005. 240 p. (Series “Methodological Library”)
Author: Tyulyakova S.A. based on materials from the book. "Communicative training" (teachers, psychologists, parents). Monina G.B., Lyutova-Roberts E.K. - St. Petersburg: Rech, 2010
6. Shvets I. S. “How to increase the effectiveness of interaction between teachers
with parents in an inclusive school."

Ways of effective teacher-student communication (presentation)

Target: increasing the effectiveness of communication between teacher and students.
Tasks:
1. Update problems that arise when communicating with students;
2. Identify the most effective ways of communication in conflict situations.
3. To form and cultivate teachers’ need for continuous self-education and self-development of their teaching abilities.
Relevance: In the process of communication between teachers and students, various situations occur, including conflict ones. The effectiveness of resolving a problem situation is related to the level of psychological and pedagogical knowledge of the teacher. The basis of the teacher’s relationship with the student is knowledge effective ways communication.

Practice shows that most of the difficulties that sometimes arise between teachers and students occur at the first stage of interaction, that is, when the teacher communicates any information. Since at this stage the teacher seeks to give the students’ behavior a certain direction. There are two reasons for these difficulties: The first is that there is no mutual understanding, and the second - lack of student consent from the teacher’s perspective.
That's why We recommend that teachers use some psychological techniques to achieve the favor of students. Emotional contact with students is very important. If a student trusts your competence, friendliness, and integrity, then he will easily accept your position.
Some of the ways to do this include:
1. The “proper name” technique. When interacting with a particular student, do not forget to address him by name, since the sound of his own name evokes in a person a not always conscious feeling of pleasantness, and this must be done not occasionally, but constantly, winning students over “in advance.” , and not when it is absolutely necessary to persuade the student to complete a particular task.
2. The “relationship mirror” technique. A face is a “mirror of relationships,” and people with a kind, soft smile, as a rule, attract and win over participants in interpersonal interactions. This, however, does not mean that a teacher should always wear a smile on his face.
3. Reception “golden words”- words containing a slight exaggeration of a person’s positive qualities. The most effective compliment is a compliment against the backdrop of an anti-compliment to yourself.
4. The Patient Listener Technique- When communicating with a student, the teacher should always act as a patient and attentive listener.
5. Reception “private life”. When communicating with students, take an interest in their extracurricular, personal concerns and interests and use this knowledge in the interests of education and learning.
6. In a tense situation, when we experience strong emotions and we don’t like them, the easiest way to solve this problem is to become aware of them and voice them to a communication partner. This method is called "I-statement." And this is the best educational technique ever invented. For example, using “I-statements” in speech makes communication more direct and helps to express one’s feelings without humiliating the other person. ("I'm very worried about your performance when you don't attend class") rather than, like the You Statement, aimed at blaming the other person ("You're skipping class again!"). If we use “You are statements,” then the person we are addressing experiences negative emotions: anger, irritation, resentment. Using “I Statements” allows the person to listen to you and calmly respond to you.
7. Teachers understand that raising their voices at students can destroy relationships between them. However, how can we do without this when some “jester” disrupts a lesson and incites others to this wave? Shouting is not the best helper for resolving a conflict. In such situations, there are many other methods, for example: entering into a peaceful dispute on a topic that is interesting to students, using a smile and then smoothly and slowly move on to teaching.The student will feel respected and you will gain his attention for a while.
8. Facial expressions- one of the specific signs that our feelings use for their expression. There will always be teenagers at school with increased excitability, who very easily enter into conflict and cannot stop. In order for unstable and conflict-prone students to express themselves in a more favorable manner, they should be treated correctly, with calm benevolence, and with an expression of peaceful but persuasive strength. A long stay in this mode of communication helps to acquire favorable experiences, that is, the correct forms of behavior.
The pace of speech should be leisurely, movements collected and unobtrusive. Sometimes it is better to remain silent, but silence should be offensive to your partner.
If, indeed, some mistake was made on your part, which gave rise to reproaches and remarks addressed to you, then it should be admitted, which in turn discourages the aggressor.
Nothing conveys a sense of personal strength like calm, calm friendliness. The hysteria of teachers, indignant shouts, threats - all this belittles the teacher in the perception of students, makes them unpleasant, but not strong (just like ingratiation and cajoling: students benefit from them, but for this they are completely denied respect).
Correct behavior can only be caused correct behavior. All methods of behavioral reactions and forms of behavior of students are conditioned and borrowed from the behavior of adults, including teachers.

Presentation on the topic: Ways of effective teacher-student communication

TEACHER COMMUNICATION WITH PARENTS

LESSON PLAN

1. Psychological and pedagogical foundations for establishing contacts with the student’s family.

2. Conducting a conversation with parents at the initiative of the teacher.

3. Conducting a conversation by the teacher at the initiative of the parents.

4. Psychological basis of conducting parent meeting.

5. Psychological qualities of a teacher in professional activities (practical part)

1. Psychological and pedagogical basis for establishing contacts with the student’s family

One of the most important tasks pedagogical activity The teacher is to establish contact with the parents of students (or a specific student). This problem especially relevant for class teachers, as well as teachers just starting their professional activities. The problem of lack of mutual understanding between parents and teachers and, as a consequence, the inability to come to a solution to any important problem, can complicate the process of a child’s education at school, as well as aggravate the psychological state of all participants in the educational process (child, teacher, parents). Very often, the communication process turns into a monologue of one of the parties (teacher or parents), consisting of complaints about the child or scolding the parent for him. The parent’s negative feelings arising from such “communication” do not contribute to the desire to cooperate with the school in the education and upbringing of his own child.

In this regard, it is extremely important to understand what psychological and pedagogical methods a teacher (novice teacher, class teacher) should master so that interaction with parents becomes a means of solving many problems that arise in the process of a child’s education.

Contact between teacher and parents is possible when both realize that they have a common goal - good upbringing and education of children, which can only be achieved through joint efforts.

To do this, the teacher needs to show parents that he loves children for who they are, with all the pros and cons, and also how parents are concerned about their fate.

The main means of establishing contact with parents for a teacher is himself, or rather his psychological and pedagogical competence, which includes professional knowledge, the ability to use it in practice, as well as personal qualities, the main one of which is empathy towards children (unconditional acceptance of children as they are).

In order to achieve mutual understanding with parents, as well as establish long-term relationships focused on jointly solving the most important tasks of teaching and upbringing, the teacher must be guided by the following rules of interaction and ways of establishing contacts with the family.

First rule. The work of the teacher (class teacher) with the family should be based on actions and activities aimed at strengthening and increasing the authority of parents. The moralizing, edifying, categorical tone of the teacher in the process of communicating with parents is unacceptable in work, as this can be a source of resentment, irritation, and awkwardness. The need for parents to consult may disappear after they hear from the teacher “should”, “obligated” - disappears. The only correct norm for the relationship between teachers and parents is mutual respect. Then the exchange of experience, advice and joint discussion, a single solution that satisfies both parties, becomes a form of control. The value of such relationships is that they develop both teachers and parents a sense of responsibility, exactingness, and civic duty.

Second rule. Trust in the educational capabilities of parents. Leveling them up pedagogical culture and activity in education.

Psychologically, parents are ready to support all demands, affairs and endeavors educational institution. Even those parents who do not have pedagogical training or higher education very often treat raising children with deep understanding and responsibility.

Third rule. Pedagogical tact, inadmissibility of careless interference in family life. The teacher, class teacher is an official person. But due to the nature of his activity, he must touch intimate aspects of family life; he often becomes a voluntary or involuntary witness to relationships hidden from strangers. A good class teacher is no stranger to the family. In search of help and understanding, parents can entrust him with personal information and consult. Whatever the family, whatever the parents are, the teacher must always be tactful and friendly. He must keep all knowledge about the family in strict confidentiality and use it to help the child, as well as parents, in their upbringing.

Fourth rule. A life-affirming attitude in solving parenting problems, relying on the child’s positive qualities and strengths family education. Focus on successful personal development. The formation of a student's character is not without difficulties, contradictions and surprises. They should be perceived as a manifestation of developmental patterns, problems should be reformulated into tasks, then difficulties, contradictions, and unexpected results will not cause negative emotions and confusion for the teacher.

Very often, special difficulties arise in the process of individual communication between the teacher (class teacher) and parents, the organization of which requires taking into account special conditions.

Individual communication

When communicating with parents, the teacher must structure the conversation in such a way that the parents are convinced that they are dealing with a professional who loves and knows how to teach and raise children.

Therefore, when preparing for a conversation with parents, the teacher should think carefully about:

3) manners of behavior, style of speech, clothing, hairstyle.

Every detail should help create the image of a real specialist.

There are two possible options for such communication:

1) on the initiative of the teacher;

2) on the initiative of parents.

2. Conducting a conversation with parents at the initiative of the teacher

1) Setting a psychological goal

It is important for the teacher to understand and answer the question for himself: “What do I want from a meeting with my parents?”

When answering these questions, the teacher can understand that the purpose of the conversation may be the following: for example, to take out one’s irritation on the child; punish a child with the hands of parents; show parents their pedagogical failure.

With all of the above options, you should not call parents, because such psychological goals indicate the professional helplessness of the teacher and will negatively affect communication between the teacher and the family.

2) Organizing the start of a dialogue

Welcome ceremony.

When greeting parents, you need to leave what you’re doing, stand up to meet them, smile, say a friendly word of greeting, introduce yourself (if you are meeting for the first time), and address them by their first name and patronymic.

3) Establishing consent to contact

This means that the teacher must discuss the time for the dialogue, especially if he sees that the parent is in a hurry, it is necessary to clarify how much time he has. It is better to postpone the conversation than to have it in a hurry, because it will not be learned anyway.

4) Creating a dialogue environment

Creating an environment for dialogue involves the teacher thinking through where and how the dialogue will take place. It is unacceptable for the teacher to sit and the parent to stand, or for the teacher to sit at his desk and the parent at the student’s.

You need to make sure that there is no one in the class, no one interferes in the conversation. Having sat the parent down, you need to ask if he is comfortable, pay attention to his and your gestures and postures.

The teacher’s gestures and postures should demonstrate openness and goodwill (arms crossed on the chest, hands on the belt - “hands on hips”, head thrown back, etc.) are unacceptable.

To relieve the parent’s stress and move on to discussing the problem, the purpose of the call should be correctly and specifically communicated, for example: “I wanted to know better ( baby name) to approach him”, “We need to get to know you better in order to act together”, “I don’t know very well yet ( baby name), I need your help to understand him better,” etc.

When calling a parent for a conversation, the teacher should not forget that a conversation implies a dialogue, therefore, he needs to think through not only his message, but also what he wants to hear from the parent, so he needs to formulate his questions to the student’s parents and give them the opportunity to speak .

5) Conducting a dialogue

The beginning of the conversation should contain positive information about the child, and these are not value judgments: “You have a good boy, but...” (then there is negative information for 10 minutes), but a message about specific facts, specific achievements of the child that characterize the child on the positive side. This beginning indicates that the teacher is observant and friendly, i.e., a professional.

Facts about the behavior or performance of a student that cause concern to the teacher must be presented very correctly, without value judgments that begin with “not”: “He is disobedient, disorganized, ill-mannered, etc.”

Also, after positive information about the student, you should not continue the story about negative facts through the conjunction “but”: “Your son is neat, tidy, but disorganized.”

It’s best to move on to hard-hitting facts in the form of asking for advice: “I don’t know Petya very well yet, could you help me figure it out (then is a description of the fact)” or “I’m worried...”, “I want to understand what’s behind this ..."

The teacher must constantly emphasize the common goal of him and the parents regarding the future child, therefore one should not use the expression “Your son,” i.e., contrast oneself and the parents. IN in this case It is better to call the student by name.

The most important thing in a conversation is the parent’s statement, since it is this that makes the conversation a conversation, a dialogue.

The teacher is required to be able to listen and hear what the student’s parents are talking about. After the teacher ends his message with a question to the parent regarding the issue, he can use active listening techniques to learn many important and necessary things about the student and his family. To do this, the teacher needs to show with all his appearance that he is listening attentively to the parent.

The teacher can express his participation in the dialogue through the reflection of feelings about the parent’s story: “I’m glad that we have common views on...”, “I was surprised...”, “I’m upset...”, etc. Fulfilling this condition prevents the occurrence of conflict when there is a difference of opinion and promotes mutual understanding between the parties.

Specific advice should only be given by the teacher if the parent asks for this advice.

They will be effective only when they are specific in content, accessible in execution, and simple in presentation.

6) Ending the dialogue

The teacher is recommended to summarize the conversation based on the technique of reflective listening - “summarizing”: “If we now summarize what you said, then...” and outline ways for further cooperation, agree on the purpose, place and time of the future meeting.

The conversation with parents should end with a farewell ceremony.

When saying goodbye to the parent, the teacher should, addressing him by name and patronymic, thank him for the conversation, express his satisfaction with it, see the parent off and say the words of farewell kindly and with a smile.

3. Conducting a conversation with a teacher at the initiative of parents

1) Establishing consent to contact

When establishing consent for contact, the participants in the dialogue discuss the time it will take place.

Imagine the situation: A visit from the mother of one of the students was unexpected for you. You don't have time to talk to her. What will you do?

Having shown maximum attention and consideration to the mother, the teacher, instead of avoiding dialogue, should inform her that he did not know about her arrival and has planned a very important matter that cannot be postponed, and has time in ... minutes, if the mother is satisfied with this, then we can talk if no, then he will listen to her at any time convenient for her and the teacher.

In this way, the teacher makes clear his desire for dialogue, despite unfavorable circumstances.

2) Conducting a dialogue

Listen to the parent. Allow the parent to let off steam. Remember that in fact the aggression is not directed at you, but at the image of the situation that your parents have. You should mentally separate yourself from this image and, observing the conversation as if from the outside, try to understand what lies behind the aggression, what worries the parent? It is important not to respond to aggression with aggression, because otherwise the situation may become uncontrollable.

It is important to monitor your facial expressions and posture.

It is very important for the teacher to express sympathy and understanding of the parents’ experiences: “I see that you are concerned about (child’s name)’s progress, “I’ll try to understand you...”, “Let’s figure it out together.” Using these phrases will give the conversation a constructive nature, which will help to find out the true reason for contacting the teacher.

In the process of talking with parents in order to determine the degree of validity of certain facts (for example, when a child committed a specific offense related to violation of discipline, a fight), the teacher needs to use convincing arguments. A teacher's ability to use objective, well-founded arguments increases his competence in the eyes of parents.

All parent questions must be answered. This helps to transfer the conversation to a business level of communication and clarify all aspects, the so-called “pain points” of the parent in the field of teaching and raising his child.

You should end the conversation according to the rules described above.

4. Psychological basis for holding a parent meeting

Almost always, the purpose of parent-teacher conferences is to inform parents. Consequently, the teacher acts as an informant at the meeting.

It would seem that the role for a teacher is familiar. But this is only at first glance. Teaching and informing are completely different tasks and require the use of different methods.

Very often, a teacher, without noticing it, makes a substitution: instead of transmitting information to adults in the form in which it would be convenient for them to perceive it, he begins to influence with the help of information, that is, to teach parents. And few adults like this.

As a result, information is not only not accepted and not comprehended, but also generates, regardless of its content, resistance from listeners.

1) Starting a conversation

· The main requirement is that the beginning of the conversation should be short, effective and clear in content.

· Think carefully and write down the first 2-3 sentences of your speech on a piece of paper. They should sound as calm and clear as possible, even against the background of your understandable excitement.

· If this is your first meeting, introduce yourself correctly. Briefly, but emphasizing those aspects of your status and role in relation to children that will form the basis of your authority and significance in the eyes of your parents.

· Never start with an apology, even if the start of the meeting is delayed; In different situations, some overlaps and misunderstandings may arise. We can simply state that the meeting did not start somewhat as planned.

Why shouldn't you apologize? An apology will immediately put you at the bottom and reduce the subjective value of your information in the eyes of your listeners.

· It is important to start the conversation in silence. Find a way to get attention. It is advisable to do this so that the method you choose does not resemble a lesson.

· Start the conversation by outlining the very logic of the meeting, its main stages: “First, you and I...”, “Then we will consider...”, “At the end of the conversation, we will have to...”.

· Designate the place for questions and remarks from parents during the meeting. For example, you can say that it is better to ask questions right away, as the information is being presented. Or, conversely, ask your parents to listen to you fully first and then ask questions.

You can say that you will answer all the questions that will be asked during your monologue later, but for now you will record them for yourself on a board or piece of paper.

2) Presentation of information.

· How and where to stand during your monologue? If the class is small or there are few students, it is better to sit in a general circle or to the side of your own table.

· The teacher should not sit at the teacher's table during the parent-teacher conference! This position instantly revives very specific associations and behavioral stereotypes in the teacher himself and his listeners (all of whom are former students).

· If the class is large, you will have to stand. Again, next to the table, moving a little from time to time. Moving in the space around the board allows you to control the attention of listeners.

· If you are saying very important things, move a little forward, towards the desks.

· It is necessary to use the rhetoric skills that you apply in class:

- repetition of the last words,

· Verbal information should be presented in doses, consistently and clearly.

· Watch for pauses. There must be pauses, since it is during pauses that parents have the opportunity to comprehend the incoming information.

· Keep track of nonverbal information that you voluntarily or involuntarily broadcast through your gestures, posture and facial expressions.

When nervous, it is difficult to control facial expressions, and yet they must correspond to the content of the information being transmitted and change in time with it.

It is advisable to use predominantly open, friendly postures and gestures: for example, hand movements when gesturing - away from yourself, and not towards yourself.

· Don’t allow yourself to get distracted by details or go sideways during the conversation.

· Clearly define a topic and stick to it.

· Parents must make sure that such meetings are meaningful: they take place quickly and end with a certain result, therefore, at the end of the conversation, it is necessary to return to its beginning and summarize.

· When summing up, let the listeners think and comprehend a little, go to the board.

The success of a teacher largely depends on the ability to communicate. At the same time, the leading role in communication with parents belongs to the teacher, since he is the official representative of the educational institution. That is why knowledge and development of effective communication techniques is one of the key components of pedagogical skill.

The main goal of interaction between a teacher and parents is joint assistance to the child in various educational situations.

and training. What does a parent want from a teacher?

The parent wants to receive support. For some parents it is important

recognition that they really do a lot for the child, for

others - understanding how difficult it is for them sometimes.

The parent wants to be heard, to be interested in his position,

his opinion was taken into account.

It is important for a parent that the teacher is at one with him, is his

ally. The feeling that your child is not indifferent to the teacher, that

the teacher strives to take care of him - the most important factor in

forming contact.

The parent needs to make sure that everything is okay with their child.

The parent wants specific help from the teacher, clear and

Rules for Effective Communication

1) It is necessary to communicate in the language of the interlocutor..

2) We avoid harshness and categoricalness.

3) DON'T ARGUE!

4) Completeness of information.

5) Logical presentation.

6) Don't give direct advice.

7) When communicating with a person, it is necessary to raise his importance

8) The most important law and the most difficult to follow: LISTEN CAREFULLY

The speech should contain a request, not a demand:

“Vera Alekseevna! Could you..."

“Vera Alekseevna! I ask..."

It is necessary to puzzle the parent:

“Have you noticed that lately...”

“What do you think this might be connected with?”

Show interest in the child

his condition:“You know, I’m very worried that... . What do you think could be the reason for this?

Offer to overcome the problem together, emphasize common interests :

“Let’s try to do this together,” “Let’s think together about how...”, “You and I could help Sasha...”

Offer your assistance, which aims to jointly solve the problem :

“How can we help you to...”

Algorithm for constructing “I am statements”:

An objective description of what happened (without your own assessment of what is happening).

Accurate verbalization of the speaker’s feelings in a tense situation.

Description of the reason for the feeling.

Expressing a request.

Lawyer's position :

1. Help in any situation, even very difficult;

2. Don't blame;

3. Do not express your approval or censure.

Example of phrases used in this style:

No matter how serious the situation is, we will try to find a way out, and I extend a helping hand to you.

I don't blame you or your child for what happened. If this happened, then there are still some reasons for this. What is important for me is not identifying these reasons (who is right and who is wrong - it’s not up to me to decide), not expressing my approval or censure, but providing assistance in the current situation. I am a teacher, and my professional task is to give knowledge to a child that he can use in life.

"Prosecutor" - The current situation is partly your fault. You must be responsible for this. - You are obliged to keep the current situation under control. I can't help you.

Sandwich principle Good information about the child should precede bad information, and the conversation ends again on a “good” note.

The first part of the conversation prepares the emotional foundation for accepting the second,

during which the teacher speaks only about the action, and not about the child’s personality, generalizes information, and does not make a “diagnosis.”

The final part of the conversation includes identifying the child’s strengths, which can become a basis for finding a constructive solution to the problem.

Transmission of negative information

Situation:

“Vanya is a restless, restless boy. Can’t sit in one place for more than 10 minutes.” What's the best way to communicate this?

“Vanya cannot sit quietly for more than 10 minutes, he is constantly distracted.”

“Today Vanya was able to carefully complete the task for 10 minutes and was never distracted.”

Basic principles of communication

KindnessHonestyRespectCaring

ToleranceAccuracy SincerityOpenness

Practice: You are a school teacher. Now the mother of your student, a public order violator (grade 9), will come to you for a consultation.

Your task is to say this phrase in different ways: "I-statement"

“Lawyer” style, “Prosecutor” style, “Sandwich” principle.

“In the class, your son is an informal leader. He very easily provokes most of his classmates into conflict and constantly disrupts lessons in all subjects.”

Conclusion: The position of cooperation can be formulated

like this: “We are together, each from his own side and using our resources,

We help the child realize his potential.”

The speech was prepared by:

Teacher-psychologist: Shumskikh Svetlana Vasilievna