I am a Muslim, and was brought up in rather strict terms - however, like all Muslim women. Three years ago, quite by accident, I began to be friends with a guy, we met in in social networks and communicated. He turned out to be a distant relative (not blood). Everything was fine, he wanted to marry me, but his parents were against it, without explaining the reason... He tried to convince them, but could not... Because of this, there were even conflicts in their family. We live in different cities, he gradually began to ignore me, and our communication stopped. I had a very hard time with it.
In the summer he got a girl, which had a very strong effect on me... I think about him all the time. I recently got married, and I have to live in the same area with him... This fact is eating me up from the inside. I'm afraid I won't be able to stand it. I don’t like my future husband at all in appearance, and I don’t know his character. I get married only because my parents want me to, I can’t go against them. I know that guy still cares about me. He constantly makes himself known... I can’t create a prosperous family like this... What should I do?
From a religious point of view:
The famous hadith of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) says: « If people come to you for marriage, whose religiosity and character you are satisfied with, then marry them; if you do not do this, then temptation will appear on earth and immorality will become widespread» (“al-Mustadraqala-s-sahikhayn”, No. 2695).
إذا أتاكم من ترضون خلقه و دينه فانكحوه ألا تفعلوا تكن فتنة في الأرض و فساد عريض
The smartest and a wise man in the world recommends marrying/marrying a Muslim who has a good character and adheres to the canons of Islam. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) in this hadith does not advise marrying a noble, rich, strong... or even a loved one, but says: “observant” and “well-behaved”! Family happiness largely depends on these two qualities.
I don't think you feel true love, – rather, what you feel for it young man, is nothing more than passion, attraction, etc., but not love! Truly sincere, pure love arises in marriage, life together, when you know a person not from some meetings, in which he, as a rule, appears to you only from the best side, but in general you know and see what a person breathes . Therefore, do not attach so much importance to your feelings and feel free to marry the guy you were married to. It is very important that you yourself realize the need to break off communication with that guy (whom you supposedly love), give up everything that connects you and reminds you of him. Sincerely repent before Allah, and then turn to Him with a prayer that your fiancé will become for you good husband, a wonderful father for your children and generally a decent Muslim.
From a psychological point of view:
We had to face a similar problem many times. It often turns out that first love does not bring the desired result. There can be many reasons for this, but the main one is the lack life experience in such situations. Now there is little point in looking for those to blame for the current situation. That guy's mom might have her own reasons for not allowing your marriage. The question is not at all that you are not what they need - far from it. The reason could be in herself, in her plans for the future of her son. At the same time, refuse to criticize her, do not think that she is the cause of your unhappiness, because you yourself may not know what exactly your happiness lies in.
The most important thing for you now is to let go of your feelings for that guy. They may not leave you because you yourself do not want to let them go. This happens quite often, and is mainly a means of psychological defense in which a person turns to his dreams to escape from a frightening reality.
You report that you are afraid of the future, that the prospects seem unbearably difficult to you. However, please note that the future may be very different from what you imagine. Naturally, it will seem to you that your feelings for that guy will haunt you all your life. But this is nothing more than an illusion. Any feeling, if not nourished, will sooner or later begin to fade away. If that guy himself makes himself known to you, then it is better to tell him not to do this and that if he really respects you, then let him think about your feelings.
You report that his matchmaking upset you very much. This is natural, this is a normal reaction to such a strong stimulus. But at the same time, if you mentally criticize him or force yourself to hate him, then you should definitely refuse this. The fact is that many, believing that in this way they can cure another from love, begin to scold in every possible way the one they love, to give any arguments to denigrate him. The result of such influence is always negative, since the mechanism that protects the object of love is involuntarily activated, and a serious internal contradiction arises. Don't criticize him, let your feelings calmly burn out naturally. Of course, it will be painful, but it will definitely pass.
As for the personality of your fiancé, there is a lot that can be reconsidered. The first thing to do is to stop making comparisons. There is no point in comparing him with the one you love. They basically different people- each with its own advantages and disadvantages. The fact that the groom is unpleasant in appearance can, of course, serve as some kind of psychological barrier, but it is very, very conditional. The external is very quickly erased, and the moral qualities of a person come to the surface, since they are the ones who determine your compatibility with him.
Don’t put up barriers for yourself with the wording “I can’t”, “I’m doomed”, etc. Everything is within your power, you just need to set yourself up to the fact that in the future everything will definitely work out well and you will certainly find your happiness.
Muhammad-Amin - Haji Magomedrasulov
Aliaskhab Anatolyevich Murzaev
psychologist-consultant of the Center social assistance family and children
Alina Demeeva
“Our dating story is banal to the point of indecentness: there were no accidents or mystical coincidences - we were introduced by mutual friends. First there was correspondence on the Internet, then the first meeting followed at a celebration Catholic Christmas in the club where we relaxed with classmates, and then the wonderful time of our relationship began - dates, movies, walks around the city, cafes, flowers, gifts. Six months later, I realized that I had truly fallen in love, and how happy I was when I realized that my feelings were mutual! We remember this moment as the beginning of something serious and global. A year later, we already began to think about living together. My husband (at that time he was still just my boyfriend) insisted, but I was categorically against it - my upbringing did not allow it. That's how the idea of a wedding arose. Our parents supported us, and we began to prepare our wedding together.
We have been married for almost 2 years, we have been together for more than 4 years, but we still remember that evening of our first meeting and our feelings and emotions. We often remember our acquaintance and each time our story acquires more and more new details that we were previously embarrassed to tell each other. It turned out that we liked each other at first sight, and although we are very different, we can no longer imagine life without each other. Only when my beloved is nearby, I am calm and incredibly happy. Love helps us to be together in harmony and understanding."
Katerina Lebedko-Pogrebnaya
“The first time I met my now husband was at an acoustic evening dedicated to fans of the work of the group “Spleen”. I sang there, and he came as a guest. Our eyes met and I immediately liked him. However, that evening we never met. After 4 months, an acoustic evening was again held in the same place, this time dedicated to Russian rock, and I was again invited there as a performer. Imagine my surprise when I saw Him there. We met our eyes again, and to At the end of the evening we met and talked a little, but things didn’t go further than that. I left the establishment earlier, but he stayed. Later, I tried to find him on social networks, but, unfortunately, nothing worked out for me. About a month later we completely met by chance in another place. That's when I realized that it was fate! It was like this: somewhere in mid-March, my friend and I agreed to meet at a bar. It was Friday, I came to the bar before my friend, ordered myself a cocktail and in stood waiting at the bar. And suddenly He passes by! I was a little confused and continued to stand near the bar. Suddenly, someone lightly tapped me on the shoulder from behind, I turned around and saw my future husband. He was no less surprised to see me and decided to come over and say hello. We got to talking, and it turned out that he had come to a “corporate party” with his colleagues. The most amazing thing is that he came to that bar for the first time, while I was a regular customer of this establishment. That evening we exchanged phone numbers. He called me 2 days later, and from that call our romance began. And a year and a half later we got married."
Zhazira Zharbulova
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“My husband and I met in a cafe on August 30, 2008. I often went there with a friend, and he, as it turned out later, had lived nearby all his life. That same day he gave me a ride home, and I understood everything. I realized that he is the one. The next day he asked me out on a date, and a day later, on September 1, he left for Russia to continue his studies at the military academy. At that time I lived from call to call, from SMS to SMS. He came 2 times a year - during the summer holidays and New Year. So two years passed. After graduation, to my great joy, he was sent to serve in Almaty. But, as it turned out, I was happy early. He disappeared from work for days. We even broke up because of this a couple of times. So another 2 years passed. And in the 5th year we finally decided that it was time to decide something. I told him that if we don't get married by September 30, 2013, we will have to separate. After all, I was already 25 years old and, as is customary in our society, it was time to think about a family. As a result, in January 2013 they put earrings on me according to Kazakh custom, in July of the same year I was betrothed, in August they first held an “uzata”, a traditional farewell to the bride, and on September 21, 2013 there was a wedding (it turns out that my husband managed to marry me before September 30th). Now we are expecting our baby!"
Tatiana Kudrina
“I sincerely believe that there are no coincidences, and when we meet our person, some mysterious voice quietly whispers to us how important this meeting is, urging us not to pass by. We need to have a very big problems with hearing, so as not to pay attention to this voice. :) Apparently, I had such problems, so I did not immediately recognize my happiness and could not even imagine that a banal story of meeting at work could develop into something big. However, let's talk about everything in order. I was organizing an office move, and my husband was a representative of the contracting company, and, accordingly, initially our conversations with him were based on topics such as contract terms, payment terms and the quality of services provided. Although, I must admit that I’m lying a little, because I really liked him at first sight. In general, when the move was successfully completed, he continued to come to my office under various pretexts, but even then we did not think about anything serious. However, gradually, step by step, we became increasingly closer friend to a friend, until we finally noticed how all doubts had disappeared, and we both realized that we wanted to be together always, all our lives."
Perhaps these very personal stories will not form the basis of a romantic film, will not touch hearts and will not cause tears of tenderness. However, they will always retain that special magic and warmth, turning into a little fairy tale for each individual family.
Dear readers, how did you first meet your loved ones?
The dream interpreter (dream book) explains the question of why matchmaking in dreams in some detail. And to determine the exact meaning of your dream, you need to remember all its nuances.
They matched you
If in a dream your boyfriend wooed you, then this is - good sign. The dream book promises that soon you will have the opportunity to show your best qualities, than you will earn the recognition of a respected person. Such a dream may also be evidence that everything is going smoothly in your love affairs.
When you dreamed that a stranger was wooing you, this is an important warning. The dream book advises to be careful when choosing a partner. You shouldn’t trust someone who immediately promises you mountains of gold. Most likely, such a gentleman’s intentions will be frivolous.
- Matchmaking in your home is good news.
- In a dream, a relative wooed you - to meet him.
- This was a famous person - to wealth.
If you dream of matchmaking, which you are not happy about, then in reality you risk committing a rash act. Experts recommend carefully considering all important decisions, and, if necessary, consulting with people you trust. Otherwise, personal losses may occur.
According to the dream book, rejoicing at a long-awaited matchmaking in a dream means experiencing happiness in reality. On this moment you consider yourself a successful person. You know how to enjoy little things and infect your loved ones with your positivity. If you constantly stay on such a wave, success awaits you.
Matchmaking of another person
As the dream book writes, your sister’s matchmaking appears in a dream when serious changes are planned in your destiny. If in the dream your sister was joyful and smiling, then changes for the better await you. And if the girl cried or was sad, then an envious woman may interfere with your plans.
- Matchmaking strangers- to a tempting offer.
- If you dreamed that they were wooing an elderly lady, it meant a wise decision.
- They wooed the boss - to a promotion.
Why do you dream about your parents’ matchmaking? Usually such dreams foreshadow a celebration in the family. But sometimes such night dreams are a reminder that your loved ones need attention. Therefore, if you had a dream in which dad wooed mom, visit them, they are really looking forward to it.
As you can see, matchmaking in a dream is a positive and encouraging sign. And in order to find out its correct meaning, you need to remember the dream in detail and compare its meaning with events in reality.
The tradition of making toasts came to us from the German peoples many centuries ago. Since then, it has become a part of our holiday culture. Indeed, not a single celebration is unthinkable without beautiful and witty congratulatory speeches. How the matchmaking ceremony or ransom goes will affect the general mood of the holiday guests. The portal site presents original and memorable toasts and wishes for matchmaking.
Toasts
Today it is not so easy to meet your true love in this ever-changing world. Such luck really only comes to a select few. So let our groom have the chance happy ticket, and he will find the woman of his life! Let's drink to those who control such luck - to the parents!
Our life can be compared to an interesting and exciting movie. Today the main role is played by the groom. According to the script, it is planned that his life with his beloved will be long and happy, that their wealth will grow, and their feelings will only strengthen. Let's raise a toast to the bride's parents, who are the creators of the only suitable main character of this film!
Today brought with it incredible warmth, comparable to a hot July day. All because matchmakers appeared in this house, sent for the hand and heart of the future bride. So let this warmth warm everyone present and help parents make the right decision to make their daughter absolutely happy and find her betrothed!
As a rule, most of these toasts are addressed to the parents of the future newlywed in order to appease them and help them agree to the marriage proposal after matchmaking. Toasts in the form of a parable are also suitable here, which also in an allegorical form praise their best qualities
Congratulations on matchmaking
We hasten to congratulate our newlyweds on their matchmaking! We wish you an infinitely happy future, unquenchable love, unexpected and pleasant surprises and bright impressions from life together! I wish you happiness, mutual understanding and a joyful wedding!
Congratulations to the future newlyweds on successfully completing their first step towards living together! We are glad that a positive response has been received, and we hasten to wish great happiness for two loving and ardent hearts. May your lives merge together, may you be inspired for future joint achievements! We wish you harmony and beauty!
Our dear young people, please accept congratulations on your matchmaking! We wish that this important step will make your life happy and rich, prosperous and joyful, magical and unique. Love and appreciate each other always, good luck!
My heartfelt congratulations to the parents of our future newlyweds! A great and responsible task has been done; only great happiness and good luck await them ahead. I wish you a calm and fruitful preparation for your wedding, deep and comprehensive love, and energy to overcome all possible adversities. May mutual understanding, kindness and tenderness be with you.
Such congratulations are addressed to both young people and their parents. They may be shorter than toasts, but this does not affect the overall atmosphere of the matchmaking.
Wishes
Dear present! We have just witnessed the successful matchmaking of these two wonderful young people. Take a look at both of them, pay attention to the eyes of our beauty - they radiate happiness and joy. And the groom is obviously ready to be the head of the family, he is so courageous and serious. This means that the first step into a long and happy life together has been taken! We wish you a good journey in search of your destiny, and we will rejoice for you and support you if necessary!
The most beautiful sight in the world is the sight of two young people in love with each other. Matchmaking has always been important and serious step on the way to finding family happiness. You are now responsible to your parents for each other. We wish you mutual understanding, the ability to listen and hear, happiness and wisdom.
Matchmaking is wonderful
This means that a family will soon be created!
May the sun shine clearly on you,
May it never rain!
I wish you peace, prosperity,
And infinitely great love,
May your life always be sweet,
Very bright, radiant, colorful!
Finally, a beautiful day has arrived
Happy, he is the beginning of all beginnings.
On the day of matchmaking mutual understanding,
For young people - success and attention.
May this day bring light to life,
And the love will remain for many years.
Congratulations on your matchmaking! I wish that the positive answer heard today will make two hearts burning with love happy. May your paths be intertwined in a close union of souls, success and harmony. Much happiness to you!
So, they got the bride,
Everyone decided to have a wedding.
I wish you, dear ones,
True, sincere love.
Let everything turn out as it should,
You are young in life,
I wish that in my heart
The flame of passion did not go out.
A short
Congratulations on your matchmaking -
Everything was done as it should be!
And with excitement we wish
Magnificent weddings are ahead!
There will be two families
Rejoice together
The groom came today
Woo the bride.
Embarrassed bride
Gives consent -
This means business
Leads us to the wedding.
The bride and groom are sitting
Smiling happily
Joyfully matchmakers
They hug each other.
Happy matchmaking
I congratulate everyone
Be guests at a wedding
I invite you.
Let love be endless,
Live in peace only, richly!
We wish you extraordinary feelings
Only a positive charge!
Let the wedding play happily
Everything will be the way you want!
Let happiness warm your soul:
You will soon start a family!
Special wishes for matchmaking,
After all, this is the beginning of all other beginnings -
May the relationship always be good,
So that everyone always respects each other.
Congratulations on your matchmaking!
Everyone is happy: the bride and groom,
And relatives look with emotion
And the greatest joy upon them!
May this couple be happy
And throwing away false boasting,
We are proud of the young, it’s not without reason
This matchmaking went great!
Everyone came together today
To celebrate the matchmaking,
We have a bride and groom,
And that means there will be a celebration,
Let's discuss together
Where will the wedding take place?
We have a lot to do
Please the newlyweds!
Your matchmaking is today,
Congratulations, young people,
I wish that you always
They were only a faithful couple.
The decision has already been made
The wedding is just around the corner,
May there be grace from heaven
Forever, guys, with you.