Male friendship is usually built on common hobbies and joint participation in some activity, and female friendship is based on personal relationships. While there are more similarities than differences in the dynamics of friendships, men and women view friendships and interact with friends differently.
Relationships between girlfriends are often very close and deeply personal, and relationships between male friends are usually not so serious. It is not surprising that face-to-face communication is more important for female friendship: friends communicate more emotionally, willingly share their thoughts and feelings, and support each other.
It is more important for male friends to do things together, "side by side", rather than communicate "face to face". They value relationships more with those with whom they participate in activities. Their relationship with friends is not so close emotionally, mutual benefit plays a big role on the principle of "you to me, I to you." It also differs in how often they communicate with friends, are involved in friendly relations, what personal problems they are ready to discuss.
Men are more likely to bond through common activities such as sports, while women are more likely to share personal secrets with each other.
Unlike women, men often do not need to discuss any changes in life with friends, and in general they do not always need to maintain regular contact. Men may not communicate with a person for a long time and continue to consider him a close friend. If a woman has not communicated with a friend for a long time, she will most likely decide that the paths have parted and the friendship is over.
And although there is less emotional closeness in friendship between men, their relationship is not as fragile as that of women. Men most often get closer by doing some kind of common activity, such as sports, and women by sharing personal secrets with each other, talking and spending time together.
Men make friends more easily because they don't suspect each other's ulterior motives and don't feel the need to share personal information to maintain a friendship. At the same time, men who are not inclined to share their feelings with friends often willingly tell their wives, girlfriends, sisters or girlfriends about their feelings, with whom they maintain a purely platonic relationship.
What is the difference between women's friendship and men's?
- Men are friends side by side, their relationship arises and is maintained on the basis of common activities, deeds, interests and hobbies.
- Women make friends face to face, their relationships arise and are maintained on the basis of emotional intimacy, communication and mutual support.
- In friendships between men, there is less spiritual and emotional intimacy than in friendships between women.
- Friendly relations between men are not as fragile as relations between girlfriends, that is, a man can continue to consider a person a friend even with long breaks in communication.
- Women are emotionally attached to those they consider friends.
- Men are more likely to stay friends after a fight or argument, while women are more likely to end relationships.
- Women need to communicate more often with those whom they consider friends.
- Men are more likely to tease friends and make fun of them, considering it harmless entertainment.
- Women usually try not to make fun of their friends, for fear of hurting them.
- Men are more likely to communicate in large companies, they have more fun together, while women prefer to go somewhere with just one good friend.
Of course, it cannot be said that these features apply to all men and women. These are rather general trends. Whatever your relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend, it's important to figure out exactly what you're looking for in a friendship. The answer to this question will help you understand whether it is possible to build the relationship with a person that you would like.
Today I decided to encroach on the most sacred thing for women. Today we will talk about friendship. And not just about friendship, but about friendship between women. It must be strange to see such words from a man, but ....
Why encroach and why sacred? Yes, because the most heated and most inexhaustible disputes have been going on about female friendship for a long time and hopelessly. Men simply do not believe in it, considering it a fiction of feminists, while women try to prove the opposite to them, and sometimes they fully support the opinion of the strong side (burnt on "milk").
Does it exist female friendship? How long can it last and what can stop it? How is it different from male friendship? Is this a myth or reality? All these questions are answered later in the article.
What is friendship
What brings people together and makes friends? Benefit, community of interests, loneliness or the need for spiritual intimacy?
What is friendship? Ability to empathize and support? Selfless faith and trust? Readiness for self-sacrifice and the ability to put other people's interests above all else? 
Friendship is a close relationship between people based on affection, mutual trust and common interests.
Does female friendship exist and how long can it last
We believe in female friendship! Yes, it is different from men's, yes, it can be interrupted by a trifle, but it exists!
There is a saying: "Women's friendship ends when a man gets in its way." History has thousands of cases where this happened. It would seem that the man quarreled with the closest and most sincere friends. If we draw a parallel and delve into the "archives" of male friendship, then there will be many times fewer similar examples. Why? Is male friendship stronger? Or, perhaps, male solidarity is valued by men above any “skirt” and they would rather refuse a girl than a best friend?
How is women's friendship different from men's?
We women claim that only our friendship is real. This is not a banal drinking of a bottle for three, this is not hunting and fishing, this is valuable advice, support and timely provision of a friendly shoulder.
Although if we take male solidarity as an example, then it will definitely be more reliable. For example, a wife, in search of a missus, calls his best friend and hears: “Of course he is with me, here he is, sitting, watching TV together. No, I can’t give him the phone, he just went for a beer.”
A man can hear in response from best friend wife is like this: “No, and she wasn’t there, we haven’t seen each other for a month. Poor fellow, don’t worry so much, he’ll take a walk and come back!”
If for men such concepts as devotion, honor and fidelity are important, then we cannot be penetrated like that. We are friends soberly and as long as it is beneficial for us, and often our friendship is temporary. For us, male principles sound far-fetched, stupid and incomprehensible. Well, for the sake of a friend and the oath given to him in childhood (not to marry blondes before the age of 30) can you derail your whole life and still manage to be proud of it ?!
We are not capable of suffering for the sake of friendship for an idea, putting ideals above all else and going against personal interests.
“Well, my girlfriends and parents don’t like my man, so what? I will marry him anyway, he is the only and most dear to me.
Love and emotions play in the lives of men minor role. While for us it is the most important and paramount. We live by feelings, and they live by reason and principles.
For men, help in practical matters is important (bring a sofa to the 9th floor, help transport furniture to the dacha). We are friends based on emotional support, not considering it shameful, to cry to each other, to speak out and demand sympathy.
Men are stingy with an open display of pity. They cannot and do not know how to express their feelings so directly. The most they can expect is a pat on the shoulder and a sympathetic nod. After all, men do not cry by definition, they are "obliged" to drink vodka and swear.
In fact, they are also looking for sympathy and understanding. Over a beer or a glass of tea, in a bar or on a fishing trip, in a smoking room or a gym - they share their pressing problems - they complain, ask for advice and comfort each other like a man.
It is in this that female and male friendships are similar - we all look for support in friends and the opportunity to talk about our problems.
In addition to sympathy and friendly support, mutual assistance and cooperation are the basis of male friendship. Men can and love to work tirelessly side by side with other “recruits” on a common idea or cause.
Women, on the other hand, do not know how to cooperate. The competitive spirit has been instilled in us since kindergarten(my doll is more beautiful, and the bow is larger, my son wrote a math test better, and my husband gives gifts more often and more expensively).
The best friend for a man is the one to whom he lays out all his thoughts and feelings as if in spirit, the one who will listen, understand and, if necessary, sympathize, the one who will never, under any circumstances (even under torture) use the information he has heard and not betray. We, women, alas and ah, if we need it, we can stab in the back with a knife, and we will do it with all our might and with a smile on our faces.
Myth or reality
So what happens? Female friendship is short-lived, insincere and fragile? You can't even rely on the most close friend because of fear that she will not keep this promise, and will tell the whole world about the most secret and intimate for you?
Oh no! It is a woman friend, if you feel bad and bitter / good and joyful, who rushes to listen, console and wipe away tears / share your joy and sincerely rejoice for you. It is a friend who will rush headlong to your defense without even really understanding who is right and who is wrong. But it all works, provided that you do not threaten her family, personal, social and financial happiness!
Sad but true!
conclusions
Despite such sad facts, many women manage to "make friends" for many years - from the very school bench to deep old age. How do they do it? Looks like they're on good terms! Indeed, in friendship, everything should be equal and balanced - to give exactly as much as you take. Friendship needs work!
You need to trust, but do not forget that everything said and done can be used against you during a possible quarrel. You need to be able to be frank, while observing the measure and tact. It is important not to envy the success of a friend and not to cross her path in anything (the most important thing is not to take a man away - this is sacred).
Trust, common interests, respect, understanding, the ability to forgive and sensitivity - this is what friendship needs to be built on. Only in this case there will always be a person next to you who can lend his shoulder
It is very right to have as many girlfriends as you have different selves. I am a mother, I love home flowers, I am ambitious, I love shopping, I am sensual, I love impressionists, I am a workaholic, etc.
It is important that a friend has this quality in the same way. For example, you are both mothers or go to the same literary circle. Then you will always have something to talk about, and your friendship will be strong and long (at least while you are passionate about it).
Rule of female friendship number 1. A friend's boyfriend is a sexless creature, i.e. as a man is not considered. Even if this is an ex-boyfriend, even if she swears on D & G shoes that there can be no relationship with him in this life, and says that he is a tenfold freak. It's just taboo! Road sign"brick"!
We have a great time with Nastya, we have many common interests, but there are topics that we never discuss: feelings (if only very superficially and if, indeed, the issue is worth discussing) and sex, for example. This is a purely personal matter for everyone. And I know a priori that our friendship will last for many more years, and our kids will play in the same sandbox.
I have another friend Lenochka. Although our friendship, perhaps, has almost come to naught. And the love we had with her was breathtaking. In two years, our relationship - began, reached a climax and began to decline, close, in literary language, the denouement.
Why did it happen? We spent all the time together, sometimes lived together, discussed everything in the world to the smallest details of sex, all the secret corners in a relationship. As a result, it dawned on me that she is a rare fool. For two years, I lost count of her men, each time she made the same mistakes, hoping to get a new result. And after several times, thanks to her, we found ourselves in quite dangerous situations, I wondered if I needed such a girlfriend. After all, you need to be friends with a person who is interesting to you, from whom you can learn something, who is better than you in something. And not with a person whom you have to constantly pull along and try to save from new / old nonsense.
And then the superfriend, recklessly believing that this was nothing, appropriated the boy I liked. And after that, naively downcast eyes, sincerely did not understand what happened after all. Xan, well, just think, some guy there, we're your girlfriends, but don't spill water. She spent only a weekend with him, but my attitude towards him and towards her changed almost to the diametrically opposite one. In general, now I communicate with her once every five years and with little desire.
Rule number 2. Don't open yourself up to your friend. Their secrets should have a place in women's relationships.
I have a friend Katyushka. We have been friends for a little over 3 years, we meet infrequently, we are very similar. The relationship is completely built on respect, I’m interested with her, she with me, but we don’t get into each other’s souls, and we discuss men in such a way that men would hear, and this would not even affect their male pride. Here is a confirmation of the two above rules.
I have friends who never miss a chance to kick. Have you ever heard the following phrases:
- and you still haven't found a job;
- you're all alone, so what?
- Yes, it's time for you to paint;
- you got better, dear, etc.
You should not be offended, such is their feminine essence (or rather, the reality). Perhaps they themselves do not realize that such things are tactless to say, even if it is true. It is a pity that communication with such friends cannot be completely excluded. What to say? It’s better not to answer anything, let this madam communicate at her own level with her own kind, in this case it is better not by word, but by deed to show that you are better.
Eh, I must have tired you, but I can’t help but say a couple of sentences about my last friend. We were friends with Alinka from the age of 5, so to speak, from the sand-doll times. Until Alina became an adult girl and began to seriously, seriously meet with boys, so seriously that these meetings could not be combined with my friendship. But I could cry in a vest when the relationship with the guy did not work out or even ended. As a result, we do not communicate at all. The last time I met her by chance six months ago, but all this did not prevent her from visiting me the other day and borrowing shoes. Why I did, I don't understand. Sometimes one can only sympathize with my kindness.
In general, I do not like to give my things to anyone. And some girls do not consider themselves obliged to return them, which can also become a cause of conflict. So it’s better to announce to your friends right away that you have very sensitive skin and allergies or something else, in general, you can’t borrow your things.
So, conclusions. Normal female friendship implies:
- mutual non-interference of girlfriends in the purely personal affairs of each other;
- division of the territory: your men are here, mine are here (by God, like in the jungle);
- after all, a range of prohibited topics exists;
- separation of the wardrobe (not necessary, but desirable).
Everything is simple. Only four quite banal points are able to preserve for many years the much-needed friendship for us girls.
In general, my personal opinion is that there can be no friendship between girls, unless it comes to men, careers and money, but otherwise we will share everything like an orange.
TO how often one hears that male friendship is true and strong companionship, and female friendship, in turn, is full of squabbles, gossip and envy. All these are stereotypes invented by people, because true friendship does not know gender. However, there are still certain differences between “male” and “female” friendship due to our differences in worldview.
There are many different variations on the theme of male and female friendship. Some believe that female friendship is just a myth, others can give a lot of examples from the history of mankind when a man did the impossible for his friend. What are the differences between male and female friendship, and is there a fundamental difference?
male friendship
History remembers a lot of evidence of the strongest male friendship, showing the world examples of mutual assistance, strength and courage in the most dangerous circumstances. Moreover, if you try to recall examples of female friendship between historical figures or even mythical characters, you are unlikely to succeed.
But the reason for this could be a huge gender gap - ancient societies were always openly patriarchal, reducing the role of a woman to cooking and raising children.
Therefore, we can say that male and female friendship began to differ already in ancient times, when only the relations of brave warrior-friends were covered, and their wives were not paid attention.
Male friendship is distinguished by a modest expression of warm feelings, if not its complete absence. It is extremely rare to find evidence of a close spiritual relationship between two friends. Some psychologists attribute this to fear of the possibility of a homosexual relationship. Basically, it can be called a mutually enjoyable or mutually beneficial pastime.
Female friendship
Friendship between women, on the contrary, is distinguished by emotionality and the fullness of the manifestation of feelings. Of course, this is due to the peculiarities of female nature - providing support in difficult situations, resolving difficulties, discussing details and mutual assistance.
Most male representatives believe that female friendship comes down, if not to joint baking of buns and shopping, then discussing all sorts of useless little things, gossip and other “female things”. In fact, not even all women are given to understand what female friendship is. Due to the complex structure of nature, it is very difficult to find a person of the same sex as you, who could perceive this world in the same way as you. For this reason, girls often quarrel, giving rise to the myth that female friendship does not exist.
Friendship has no gender
By and large, the gender division of friendship sounds absurd, especially within the framework of the interpretation of the very concept of friendship. Indeed, both men and women need moral and physical support, selfless help, the desire to share joyful moments and just be with a like-minded person. Another thing is what labels society imposes on such relationships.
Friendship, like love, is an abstract concept that cannot be limited in any way, otherwise it will lose all its magic.
It is necessary to be friends sincerely, selflessly and truly - this is the only way to be sure that this is a true feeling. Therefore, the differences between male and female friendship are erased before the greatness and purity of this phenomenon.
Both female and male friendship imply support and participation. But if in life strong half In humanity, emotions play a secondary role and men are more likely to support each other with any actions, then women are more prone to emotional participation. A man will help a friend with money, bring something or repair it. A woman will listen to her friend, sympathize with her, advise something. Thus, male friendship can be compared with a strong family union, and female friendship with psychological help.Cooperation and rivalry
The spirit of cooperation in male friendship is more pronounced than rivalry. men with best friends they work shoulder to shoulder to solve a problem, for example, they repair a car, and if they compete, it usually has a sports or game character. In female friendship, cooperation is weakly expressed - in best case girlfriends go shopping together. But the rivalry between girlfriends has been in the blood since kindergarten - they always zealously make sure that their bow is more magnificent and the doll is more expensive. In adulthood, friends compare the successes of their children, the salaries of their husbands, and much more.The durability of friendship
Male friendship, as a rule, is long-lasting. “We have been together since kindergarten” - this can often be heard from bosom friends. Women's relationships are more dependent on the situation, the presence of common topics for communication. For example, very often girls begin to make friends with colleagues and fellow travelers, trusting them with their most intimate secrets. But when work or route changes, communication can very quickly stop, unless, of course, there are additional points of contact. But, despite the fragility of friendships, a woman has new friends throughout her life, while a man has fewer and fewer friends over the years.Constant rivalry and other features of female relationships do not mean at all that friends cannot remain close people for many years. A real friend will always sincerely share both grief and joy, but only if the friend does not threaten her personal and family happiness. Taking a man away from a friend, according to women, is the biggest sin.
The key to strong friendship between men and women
The basic rule of friendship: you can not take more from a relationship than you give. If you want a friend or girlfriend to be ready to help, listen and sympathize at any time, be always open and available to them. Build friendly relations on trust, respect, sensitivity, mutual assistance, common interests. And then next to you will always be an understanding close friend!Men believe that female friendship does not exist. After all, judge for yourself - what kind of friendship can we talk about if the ladies constantly have competition among themselves and jealousy, both for men and mutual friends? But women have proven year after year that they can be deeply attached for years and still not share husbands, children, and jobs. But the difference in these relations still exists. What is it?
The difference between male and female friendship
Men like to spend time doing common things, shoulder to shoulder. It could be fishing, football or even watching a match on TV. Women, on the other hand, love to do all sorts of favors face to face. For example, to talk in a cafe, drink tea, go shopping. Men rarely go shopping with friends, because the main thing for them is not to chat in the process of choosing trousers, but to achieve their goal, namely, to buy those very trousers.
Competition is present both between the stronger sex and between girls. She only expresses different ways. In men, it manifests itself through career growth, wages, the amount of real estate or "movables" (car, yacht and motorcycle), but for women everything is based on appearance, the amount of branded clothing, and, of course, on men. If a man becomes between friends, then friendship will come to an end. Men, in this case, have three options: either they quarrel over a woman and stop communicating (which happens quite rarely), or they quarrel and stop communicating for a while (but then resume friendship again), or they decide that a woman is - still no reason to beat the pots.
Women often make friends as long as it suits them. The weaker sex also thinks soberly and rationally (although these qualities are usually attributed to men). As long as friendship does not interfere with them, or even benefits them, then why not try your best and maintain this relationship? Men also know how to “be friends” like that, but the difference is that women are better at getting used to the role faithful friend for a long period. But the guys will not be able to pretend for a long time.
In most cases, women are more emotional. Feelings are important to them and therefore they try to get more support and understanding. For men, reason is more important, so when they hear a problem, they immediately try to solve it, instead of consoling and wiping away tears.
But there is something in common in all these respects. Despite the fact that men are more solidary, and women are more likely to substitute each other, we are all looking for the same thing - understanding and support. Nothing in the world is 100% bad and 100% good. Different people and different situations build the basis for strong and not so relationships. Therefore, before judging friendship from a gender point of view, it is worth remembering that common interests, respect and understanding are equally inherent in both men and women.