How to tell my mom I need a bra. How do I tell my mom I need a bra? Deal with negative reactions

Teenage girls in adolescence are faced with the problem of a bra. They understand that the T-shirt is no longer suitable for them, but they are also afraid or embarrassed to tell their mother or mentor about it. However, it is as easy as asking for new clothes. The main thing is to take note of some advice from psychologists. \ R \ n \ r \ n \ r \ n

\ r \ n Advice 1. To begin with, the girl needs to be sure that she needs a bra or she is ready for it. How to do it? Pay attention to whether the nipples show through the shirt, whether you feel discomfort while running or not. \ R \ n \ r \ n Tip 2. The girl needs to practice correctly talking about her problem. It is necessary to clearly and directly indicate what is needed and why. And then, in a conversation with an older relative, the girl should say that she needs a bra, and suggest a trip to the store in the near future for shopping. \ R \ n \ r \ n Tip 3. Do not worry too much, because for every woman a bra is a must and necessary wardrobe item. Mom was also a young girl and went through this stage much earlier. Therefore, one should not be afraid, tremble with worries and fear. If a mother sees that her daughter is afraid, she will also start to worry. It is better, without losing confidence, to approach her and say everything as it is. \ R \ n \ r \ n Tip 4. The easiest way is to simply ask your mom for a bra. Even if the mother is surprised, it will not be because the daughter turned to her with such a request, but because the daughter grew up earlier than her mother expected. A daughter can ask her mother with a request during a walk together or reading a book in the evening, when she is in a good mood. \ R \ n \ r \ n

\ r \ n \ r \ n Tip 5. You can make hints, say that the shirt is narrow, or you need to buy a T-shirt for it. Psychologists recommend that girls deliberately wear shirts one size smaller when trying on in a store in order to draw the mother's attention to rounded breasts. To avoid embarrassment, you can wait until there is no one around, not even the sellers, and only then ask the mother to buy a bra for her daughter. \ R \ n \ r \ n Tip 6. A girl can ask her mother to measure it, and then go shopping. The main thing is that dad and other relatives stay at home. After all, my mother is also a girl, and many times she did what her daughter is going to do for the first time in her life. \ R \ n \ r \ n Tip 7. You can talk to your mother when she is busy with something important, and cannot turn towards her daughter during a conversation. For example, when she is driving. In this case, the awkwardness between mother and daughter is excluded. \ R \ n \ r \ nGirls should not be ashamed of the fact that they already need a bra, and their mother will not be angry either. Most likely, she has already paid attention to the fact that her daughter is growing up and her body shapes and proportions are changing, she, in turn, is waiting for the salary and the day when they usually go shopping.

Anna Gorodetskaya

Founder of panty subscription service and lingerie brand Trusbox. Loves underwear. He believes that it should delight not only with its beauty, but also with comfort, price and ease of storage.

A bra is a common thing. If you are a girl, he appears in your life, barely grows a breast. And that's it, you fall into lace bondage for the next 50+ years. You have probably thought more than once that wearing a bra is inconvenient, ugly and tiring. But you consoled yourself with the fact that "so it is accepted" and "still wear." You are tormented, but you continue to wear bras. Familiar situation?

Why do you even need to do something that causes such discomfort? We counted ten reasons not to wear a bra. Here they are.

1. Does not protect the breast from sagging

French scientists have proven Michelle Castillo. French Study Suggests Younger Women Should Stop Wearing Bras. that in fact, wearing a bra not only does not protect the chest from heartless gravity, but can even do harm. The pectoral muscles, without regular exercise, atrophy just like any other. And constant support from the outside deprives the breast of the necessary load.

2. It constrains and makes breathing difficult

If the bra is chosen incorrectly, then it will squeeze chest, thereby making it difficult to breathe deeply (in every sense). If the shoulder straps and bra belt press, rub or leave red marks and dents, throw it away immediately.

3. It hurts

Those with large breasts often experience shoulder and neck pain that goes away if the bra is removed. Experiments have shown that when switching to strapless bras or completely abandoning this piece of clothing, women cease to experience pain. Down with suffering!

4. Difficult to find, not easy to pick up

Finding the right bra is a science. In pursuit of the ideal, you can go to dozens of stores and still not find anything suitable. And then spend a few more hours online shopping, finally order ... and understand that it is not suitable. And you cannot exchange and return. Sadness.

5. Expensive

Underwear made from quality materials is expensive. No, EXPENSIVE. Why are these expenses? Better to buy theater tickets or.

6. Limits in the choice of clothes

Have you had to give up a plunging back dress or off-the-shoulder top because you can see your underwear? Enough tolerating this! Just don't wear that damn bra! And if protruding nipples are embarrassing, you can glue them with special stickers or a soft plaster.

7. Takes up space in the closet

Black, white, gray, beige, colored, silk and lace for a special occasion, cozy cotton for every day ... This linen disgrace has already captured a separate drawer and runs the risk of creeping into the territory of innocent panties. Well, I do not!

8. Ruins the romantic moment

By the way, about special cases. Men hate fiddling with bra clasps. Rid both sides of this unnecessary part of the perky foreplay. In addition, you no longer need to feverishly remember whether the lace monster matches the color of the panties.

9. Destroys things when washing

These malicious hooks treacherously dig into anything they reach in time. Yes, bras can be washed separately in special bags. Or you can just stop wearing!

10. Infringes upon rights

The bra is a relic of the patriarchal sanctimonious past, in which a woman was deprived of her corporeality. Everyone has a chest. Why are we required to somehow additionally cover it with thick layers of foam rubber? It doesn't matter if she is big or small, young or old. It's just another part of the body. It's not a shame to have it. And there is nothing terrible in the fact that others will see that she is, no.

Trust me, if you stop wearing a bra, the world will not collapse. The planets will continue to revolve around the Sun, in September they will regularly come out. The main thing is that you feel comfortable, convenient and easy. And if a bra is uncomfortable for you, then there is no real reason to keep wearing it.

In the end, whether you have a bra or not is only your own business.

It is normal to feel uncomfortable discussing delicate matters such as body changes and puberty... However, embarrassment should not stop you from addressing such topics. Try to understand this: your mom was going through the same thing when she was your age, so she is more likely to understand and support you. If your mom doesn't agree that you need a bra, don't get angry, but rather remain calm and try to accept her arguments. If you don't find her argument convincing, try discussing the matter with another trusted adult.

Steps

Have the courage to ask

    Give your reasons why you want to wear a bra. Write down 2-3 good reasons. Try to personalize these reasons. In this case, mom is likely to come into your position and agree with you. Plus, having arguments will give you more confidence when you talk to your mom about your needs. The main thing to remember is that your mom was once a girl who needed a bra too.

    • For example, if you exercise, tell the bra to support your breasts.
    • If your body develops and it becomes noticeable, say: “I need to support my breasts and cover them from prying eyes. People look at me all the time, and I think it’s because they see that I’m not wearing a bra. ”
    • Try not to use the phrase "everyone else is wearing a bra" as a reason. Parents usually don't see this as a valid argument.
  1. Share your feelings. It's normal to feel nervous or embarrassed when discussing sensitive topics such as wearing a bra with your mom. Perhaps you are afraid that your mother will misunderstand you, refuse you or punish you for this request. However, don't let these fears get in the way of your conversation with your mom. Better translate feelings into words when he approaches her with this question.

    • For example, say, “It's a little embarrassing to talk about this, but I need to ask you something,” or, “Mom, can I ask a personal question? I wonder at what age you started wearing a bra, because I think I should go too. I hope you understand me. "
  2. Practice your speech. Write three-four different options how to ask mom to buy a bra. Say them out loud and think which one sounds more casual. When you have decided what you will say, rehearse out loud or in front of a mirror until the words sound natural.

    • For example, you might say, “Mom, I need to ask you something. There is nothing wrong with that, but I'm a little shy. I don't know if you noticed, but my body has changed lately. I think it's time for me to wear a bra. I believe it will help me feel more confident and comfortable with my body. ”

    Ask mom

    1. Set up a time to talk. Try not to bring up the topic when your mom is busy. If she is busy, she is less likely to listen and hear what you have to say. Better prepare her for the conversation by setting a specific time. That way, your mom will know that you need to talk to her about something important and will give you her full attention.

      • For example, you might say, “Mom, I need to talk to you about something important. When you have time?".
      • People tend to be more open after eating. So bring it up after dinner for a better chance of success.
    2. Ask when shopping. If you feel uncomfortable asking your mom directly, try to get her to think about buying a bra. Take a time to go shopping with your mom. And when you walk past the department with underwear, offer to come in and see the products. Once you're inside, ask your mom, “Do you think it's time for me to wear a bra? It seems to me the time has come. "

      • When you walk past the store, say, “Mom, can we go to the bras section? I think it's time for me to wear them. "
    3. Write a note or send a message. Try this strategy if you're afraid your mom will overreact or judge you, or if you just can't get over the embarrassment. Write a note explaining in detail why you think you need a bra. Give her the note when she is not busy. Ask to read, think about what is written there, and then talk to you.

      • Alternatively, you can write a note and then read it out loud when you're alone with your mom. For example, when you are driving together in a car or walking.

    Deal with negative reactions

    1. Keep calm. If your mom disagrees with you or says no, try not to argue, yell, or whine. Better to remain calm and maintain a friendly and understanding tone. And then ask your mom why not now the right time.

      • For example, ask: “When do you think the time is right?” - or: “When did you get your first bra?”
    2. Suggest an alternative. Do this if you feel uncomfortable walking around without a bra and your mom still says no. Offer to buy a sports bra or cami bra with sewn cups as a temporary option. Wear them for a few months, and then come back to this topic again.

Choosing your first bra is delicate and an important event in the life of every girl. To keep everything going well and you are happy with your purchase, read our helpful guide!

Every girl remembers her first bra. After all, it was such an exciting and long-awaited event! It seems as if after that the little girl should turn into an adult girl, ready to go out. But here's how to hint to your mom that you need a new piece of wardrobe, and then not be mistaken with the choice?

How to know when to wear a bra

As you can imagine, it all depends on the personal characteristics of the organism. In some girls, breasts begin to grow at the age of 10-11, while in others, only at 15 or 16.

On average, the need for the first bra occurs at 12-13 years old

And to understand for sure whether it's time for you to go shopping with your mom, pay attention to a few points.

You definitely need a bra if:

How to talk to your mom about needing a bra

It's good when you can talk to your mother about everything in the world, without embarrassment and constraint. But what if you can't find the right words? Remember that Mom was once in exactly the same situation. She, too, dreamed of her first bra and, perhaps, also did not know how to tell her mother about it. So just walk up to her in a T-shirt and tell her that you are embarrassed to walk like that. She herself will understand everything and, for sure, will meet you halfway. But first, make sure to watch our helpful video on how to talk to your mom about growing up.


How do you know what bra size you have?



And now - the fun part! Let's find out what size you are. To do this, arm yourself with a tape measure and measure the girth of the chest and the girth under the chest. Subtract one from the other and compare with the standard sizes:

    10-12 cm - size AA (0)

    12-13 cm - size A (1)

    13-15 cm - size B (2)

    15-17 cm - size C (3)

    18-20 cm - size D (4)

    20-22 cm - size DD (5)

For example, if your bust girth is 75 cm and your underbust girth is 65, you need a size 0 bra. And don't worry if your breasts are still size 0 or 1. You are still growing and developing.

Useful life hack. Do you want your breasts to look nice? Don't slouch! , how to do it.

By the way, if you notice that yours is yours, it may mean that very soon you will start menstruating, so do not forget to put the Always pad in your purse.

Bra for teens: how to choose the right one

Do not forget, a bra is not a whim and not a decoration, but a thing necessary for health. Therefore, going to the store for him, remember that you need to pay attention, first of all, to functionality, and not to color and beautiful patterns.




Never buy a bra without trying it on and keep in mind the following points:

    The bra should not cut into the chest.

    The corset should be held securely below the shoulder blades and not rise up behind.

    Nothing superfluous should come out on the sides.

    Don't buy bras that are too loose or too tight. Large ones do not support the chest, and too tight ones pull it, which leads to impaired blood circulation.

    How bigger breasts, the wider the straps should be, because they are responsible for support.

    Choose a size under the bust so that you can first fasten on the nearest hooks (so that you can fasten tighter when the elastic fabric stretches over time).

    Give preference natural fabrics so that the skin can breathe.

Are you wearing a bra already?

How to talk to your mom about your period


The most frequent questions of girls are answered by specialists in work with adolescents of the largest educational centerThe Nemours Center for Childrens Health Media.

Is it true that some bras don't make breasts grow?

It is not true. It is also not true that if you do not wear a bra, your breasts will hang and be ugly. To wear or not to wear a bra is your personal decision. The main task of this type of underwear is to support the breasts. When your breasts grow, these are new sensations for you that you need to get used to. And comfortable underwear will help you with this. Among the different forms of bras, you have to choose the one in which you will be more comfortable.

What types of bras are suitable for girls?

Choose a shape that is comfortable and convenient for you. As a rule, there are teenage underwear sections in stores. Your mom, salesperson, or any adult you trust can tell you where to find the right underwear.

Classical(bra without underwire with a closed soft cup). Bra, push-up(bras that add extra volume with foam inserts in the bra cups). Bustier(underwired bra with removable shoulder straps). Underwire padded bra(the cup consists only of fabric, without forming elements). Sports bra(special underwear for sports, made of dense fabric, it is not intended to be worn every day).

Do I need to sleep in a bra at night?

It's not obligatory. Usually, girls and women take it off at night. But while your breasts are growing, and you feel painful sensations or discomfort at night, you can sleep in a bra that is comfortable for you.

How to say correctly - bra or bra?

You can use both of these words. "Bra" is a more formal German word and literally means "breast support". "Bra" is a diminutive form of the word "bodice" - it means the upper part womens dress covering the back and chest. "Bra" is quite usable in colloquial speech.

How do I tell my mom I need a bra?

Many girls and women are embarrassed to tell their mother about it, really. Especially if you have not yet touched on this topic in your conversations. But when your breasts began to grow, and you feel like it’s time to go to the store for a bra, you need to muster the courage and tell your mom directly: “Mom, my breasts have started to grow - I need comfortable underwear.” Pick two or three options in the store with your mom or any adult you trust. In time, you will understand which of bra shapes you are most comfortable.

If one breast is larger than the other - is it bad?

Don't worry, this is normal and not bad at all. You grow, your breasts do not grow and change at the same time, like everything in our body. Over time, when the development of the breasts is completed, you will not see this difference in size - in many women, one breast differs imperceptibly from the other. But no one except themselves notices this, believe me. If at the stage of breast growth you are confused by the difference or it seems to you that this difference is noticeable to others, put on a bra "Sconce" with foam or silicone inserts - with their help you will correct the temporary difference in size.

Are there any chest injuries?

They are like any part of the body. More often, bruises occur - from an accidental blow, from hitting the ball during sports games. While your breasts are growing, they may be overly painful and tender - this is normal. Therefore, during active games or sports activities wear sportswear - it protects. For contact sports, there is a sports chest protector - ask your coach. If you fell on your chest, hit and bruise on your chest, tell your mom or any adult you trust. There is nothing wrong with this bruise and bruise, just an adult will tell you how to get rid of it faster and better or reduce the discomfort. Typically, treating bruises and bruises in the chest is no different from bruising any other part of the body.

What if someone stares at my chest?

What to do, breasts have always been a subject of interest - look how many great sculptures and paintings are dedicated to breasts! If you are embarrassed by the views of others, fold your arms over your chest or take books in front of you to close your chest from unpleasant looks. If you feel an obsessive look, turn away or, if possible, move to another place. If that doesn't work, be sure to tell an adult you trust.

I have nipple hair! This is fine??

This is fine! Every person of all ages - girls and boys, girls and boys, men and women - has body hair. A person does not have hair only on the feet and palms, on all other parts of the body. Therefore, a few hairs on a girl's nipples are quite normal, don't worry. If you have questions about hairs all over your body, you can talk to your mom or your doctor. The only hair that a girl should show to the doctor is dark, dense hairs on her chest and face. During adolescence, your hormonal background changes, your body rebuilds - the doctor will tell you how to normalize this hormonal background.

Can breast cancer develop from underwired bras?

Can not. Breast cancer develops due to the growth of cancer cells inside, and it is still not known for sure why this happens. Most probable reasons doctors call hormonal disorders in the body, excess weight or if a relative has had this type of cancer. The shape of the bra does not provoke this disease.