RIG “site” “I wouldn’t be able to be a housewife,” Svetlana Antonova, a resident of Yakutsk, writes to the editor. And he explains why: “Because life becomes monotonous - cleaning, cooking, washing, ironing. You go outside only for walks with your children or to take them to kindergarten, school or some sections that they attend. And if the child is an infant, then your life turns into a real Groundhog Day. You live strictly according to the regime. There is a lack of communication, so many housewives compensate for it by spending time on Internet forums. But if you have a millionaire husband, then perhaps life is more fun for housewives, since they have a cook, a nanny, the opportunity to go on vacation several times a year, visit all kinds of salons, gyms, go shopping, and so on. But for me, as a mere mortal, it’s better to invite my grandmother to babysit the children and work myself... Does everyone agree with Svetlana? RIG "site" I decided to monitor the Yakut forums and discovered interesting statements on the topic: “Is it easy to be a housewife?” “I’m going crazy - the complexes are growing and growing with geometric progression,” exclaims a user under the speaking nickname "Housewife". - I’m tired of everyday life and household chores. There are children, the age difference is 7 years. The little one is now six months old. I really and terribly have a complex because I don’t work. I am almost 30 years old, but I have neither experience nor work book, no experience!!! So ashamed. I don’t even know where I’ll go to work, what I can do? NOTHING!!! Help, what should I do? I am sad... “I haven’t worked for about 16 years,” writes “Also a housewife.”- Since I got married. No complexes. On the contrary, I don’t understand what you can do at work all day. Your girlfriends are quietly jealous; they say they didn’t notice yours when I was a student. “It’s probably very boring with you,” he says Arishka.“Your husband probably has nothing to talk to you about.” If I had the opportunity to sit at home, I would die of boredom... - How can you die of boredom - he answers her "Also a housewife", - when you have four children? It's you who sit stupidly at work and play Tetris - that's boring. I tried to go to work, my husband suggested it, see what happens. I almost went crazy there. Three weeks later she ran away. Girls, how can you spend 8-10 hours of your life on papers, reports, and empty meetings? I'd rather work with the kids. I’m not an opera diva, but a simple clerk by training. As for the pension - in a few years I will receive “Veteran of Labor”, like a mother of many children. “We need to work,” he inserts his weighty word. Alexei.- A person must develop in two directions, namely, professionally and morally. And this can only be provided by the workforce. “I’m a beginner housewife,” he enters into conversation. "Nobody".“I’m very afraid that I’ll remain a nobody, that I’ll become dumb over time, and most importantly, that later they won’t really hire me unless they’re acquaintances.” Because no one needs a lawyer with no experience who once completed his studies there, because all the laws will have changed by then. But I have no choice, my husband said stay at home with the child and don’t work. I’m afraid that no matter how hard I try, I won’t be able to stand it, my nerves will give in, quarrels will start, but I don’t want to lose my husband, I love him very much. I can’t imagine how you can become a housewife of your own free will! “And I haven’t worked for almost a year,” he rejoices.” Young woman".— I’m sitting at home, although I’m not officially married yet, but MCH allows me to sit at home, take care of the housework, and take care of myself. It turns out I really like it. I used to work as a draft horse, I have two higher educations, I didn’t know any days off or holidays. Only now am I starting to live, having raised my head, I finally saw the bright sun and how blue the sky is. It turns out that this is what real life. Before, I didn’t live, I just worked. Of course, I’m not saying that this will always be the case, but now I simply need a time-out. At least for one more year. “When I was in prison for the second year, neurosis began from complexes,” he enters into conversation "Former Housewife". – I kept thinking about what would happen if I suddenly had to go back to work? Even if I become a salesperson, I need 1C. So I taught him from yellow books and more. I wanted to do essays, but it didn’t work out, but I started writing articles. I was interested in photography and related programs. I bought a CD with the course. in English and studied. I thought about how I could earn extra money, learned to sew, average, but still. And in general, I searched all the sites that give ideas for part-time jobs for mothers. Over time, the complexes faded away. I managed my daily life using the fly system. In general, five years of sitting at home did me good :) - Okay, I’m forced to sit, but dear women, come to your senses! - exclaims "Nobody".- How can you rely only on your husband, and if he wants a divorce, he will fall in love with someone else. When he starts kicking you out, where will you go??? And he will take your children away because you have no housing, no work, no money of any kind! And without children, you are not even entitled to child support, so you will be left on the street alone with nothing! You need to stand firmly on your feet and look at things realistically, no matter what the love is. The men are all greedy, no one will give you an apartment if he himself has nowhere to live, and he will start winning over the children simply out of spite. Especially our Yakut men. We have no idea that a wife sits at home, sacrificing her life, personal happiness for the sake of her family, that the house is also full of work, that giving birth and raising children is a huge job. They take it for granted. And therefore, over time, they will stop respecting you, will not take your opinion into account and will begin to openly go to the left, saying that your wife’s destiny is to remain silent, I support you and all that. Therefore, don’t sit at home for a long time, for example, I dream of working, achieving something in life, self-realization, and I really want to develop further, to know everything, but I can’t yet. I’m very worried about this, I had to shove my dream into my ass and remain silent, I only reassure myself with the fact that this will not last forever. I’ll start looking for work in the summer, the main thing is not to get depressed. Damn, what a joy it is to work!

And now this day has come... Now it’s 17.30 in our time - I’m sitting in the park on a bench in a “hug” with the computer (just kidding) and I caught an idea (I’m inspired by nature, the warmth of the air and surprisingly there are very few people now - no one distracts ).

So, I’m sharing my thoughts! 😉

Do you know what I noticed?

IN modern world The boundaries between men and women have practically disappeared!

Defenseless ladies turned into business Amazons and, armed with the knowledge acquired in universities and sharpened by manicurists and claws, they set out to build a career.

And the stone backs of men, behind which these most defenseless ladies used to hide, have softened significantly and firmly settled down at home to clean, cook and raise children.

I’m sure that many people are familiar with this picture, but not all couples have swapped roles.

There are many families left where the centuries-tested model operates: the husband is the breadwinner, the wife is the keeper of the home.

And this is where public opinion comes into play.

Is it a shame to stay at home?

During the times of the USSR, it was firmly drilled into our heads (here I judge from the stories of my friends - I was still little in those days) that everyone who sits at home and does not work is parasites.

No exceptions were made for anyone, including women.

I gave birth to a child, spent three months on maternity leave and that’s it – I ran to my favorite machine.

Then, however, the period was gradually increased to 3 years, but this did not change the main essence of the matter.

The role of the housewife was considered a relic of the past.

It would seem that with the end Soviet era the view on the position of a housewife should change, but that was not the case.

The difficult 90s, and after that the influence of Europe and the United States with their struggle for gender equality, forced our women to rush to earn money again.

But can all representatives of the fair sex cope with this?

Indeed, there are ladies who are simply born to lead, found corporations, make scientific discoveries, manage millions of dollars in capital, analyze and implement interesting business ideas into reality.

Staying at home in this case is simply a crime!

But a select few have such talents, so why is society so uncompromising towards those women who are born for housework?

Well, they don’t know how to earn big money and they won’t get the position of director, but they know how to become a good housewife!

They know 25 ways to prepare potatoes, and the cleanliness of their bathroom puts even the operating room to shame!

Add to this a husband who fully provides for his family and two or three small children.

Do you still think that such women belong at the office desk?

Then you are not far off in your beliefs!

When do you need to look at a situation from a different angle?

We have dealt with those who voluntarily decided to devote their lives to their husband and children, seeing this as their calling, but there is a category of women who became housewives against their will!

IN last years The financial crisis continues to intensify, so many are left without official work.

And your husband should know that you have your own social circle.

Don't stagnate in your development.

Yes, now you are a happy housewife who is fully supported by your husband, but imagine that the situation has changed and it is you who are forced to earn a living?

Have you thought about this? But in vain! You need to be prepared for anything!

Absence permanent job gives you enough time to: complete courses, master several computer programs, and even find part-time work for your needs (network marketing, copywriting).

If times get tough, you'll be prepared.

where a professional psychologist gives advice -

how to get rid of housewife syndrome!

Men can watch too - for general development! 🙂

And my last advice...

Forget the word housewife and become the mistress of the house, and this is not a lathered, blurry individual in an old robe, but a confident one well-groomed woman, who deliberately chose working from home as her profession.

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Such a question would not arise in the east, where it is not customary for women to work; this is purely a question for Western women. Our women are emancipated and want to work, but not all of them.

When a child turns three years old and it’s time to go to work maternity leave, many women decide not to work anymore, or rather not to go to work. And they are immediately bombarded with questions: “Have you already gone to work? No? Will you stay at home? And the woman develops an inferiority complex. Relax, you're fine. These women are jealous of you. This question is usually asked by women who are used to plowing, pulling everything on themselves, and who cannot rely on anyone but themselves. It is much more logical to ask a person what he does, what he is interested in, and not where he goes to work. These are all remnants Soviet education, in which a person had to stay outside the home for 8-10 hours. My grandmothers still don’t understand how to make money at home. And when they ask me the question: “Are you working?” I answer: “Yes.” Although this still causes confusion among many. How is it that I work if I pick up the children from school and take them to their activities too?

Of course, when you have a calling to be an actress, singer, doctor, for example, you love your job and are extremely rarely at home, you can work for days. Without this work, the woman will be unhappy and her family should understand this. If you have a job you love and you fly to it, then you are lucky and work as much as you need! And if the work also pays well, you’re doubly lucky.

Another case is when you spend 12 hours in the accounting department, for example, and you hate your job, but you think that this is how you should live. This is how many women worked, who grew old before their time, earning various diseases from nerves.

In this unloved job, you won’t even notice how you will turn into an aunt who judges other women. You will wonder why they look better than you, where they get the money for salons and gyms, and be angry that they have time for all this, but you don’t! After work, you will run to the store, drag bags of groceries home, cook at home until nightfall, lash out at your family, yell and fall exhausted. And so on ad infinitum. Give your all not 100, but 200%. Take on male functions, stop being a woman. How will your children remember you? An unhappy woman, hung with bags, tired, dissatisfied with life. But you can kill this woman in yourself! Stop. You work for money, right? And who is stopping you from spending it on yourself?

Now I don’t take extreme situations, when, for example, there is a seriously ill person in the family and everyone is thinking about how to earn money for treatment. This phenomenon is temporary. I have a friend who works two jobs because her husband took out a loan for a car and didn’t think to pay it off as a loan. The husband drives the car all day, and she plows for days. She is constantly tired and angry, and perhaps on the day when the loan runs out, he will wave his hand at her and disappear in this car in an unknown direction. She has become unbearable and it is impossible to live with her.

When you think about yourself, your husband thinks about you. When you think about everyone except yourself, your husband thinks about himself. If you want to be loved, love yourself first.

Now I want to instill confidence in those women who decided to stay at home after maternity leave. You have every right not to work. Someone also needs to take care of the house and raise the children. A housewife is not a housekeeper. This does not mean that you will stand at the stove all day, mop the floors, do laundry and watch TV series. You may have au pairs and a nanny. It's good if you have passive income from renting an apartment, for example. You can live in peace and be independent from your husband and not worry that you are not contributing your funds to the family budget.

But even if this moment If you don’t have a source of income, then you shouldn’t reproach yourself like that. Firstly, it is never too late to organize it. Moms I know who have higher education, after maternity leave, they retrained as massage therapists, hairdressers, cosmetologists, makeup artists, and manicurists. They provide all services in their own home. Some have opened online stores. This way it will be your favorite thing, which will take 3-4 hours a day and you will be happy to do it.

Some are afraid to depend on their husband. What if my husband loses his job? What if he leaves? What if he dies? Don't you depend on your employer? Will you fire? Will he pay? Don’t you depend on clients for business? Everyone depends on someone. You were on maternity leave for three years and depended on your husband and didn’t die of hunger? I think it's better to depend on loved one than from someone else's uncle.

If you think you'll be bored at home, then you don't have a hobby. Find him. Develop yourself! Now there are a lot of courses that you can choose to your liking. Read, learn languages, knit, sew.

You think that you will degrade at home, then I can assure you that you will degrade faster in monotonous work, after which you have no strength for anything at all.

One of my friends said that if she stays at home, she will go wild. Well, she won’t sit in a cage, will she? No one forbids communicating and meeting with friends.

In America in the 50s there were departments of housewives. There, women were taught all the intricacies of everyday life and women prepared to get married, just as students prepare to become specialists. The housewife was an educated woman, savvy in all matters, who could solve many issues related to the household.

A man and a woman should be interested and calm, and it doesn’t depend on whether she “goes to work” or not.

Be happy and do what you love!

Ksyusha Petrova

Whoever we imagine when we think about the “ideal modern woman” - Sheryl Sandberg, Beyoncé or Natalia Vodianova - most likely, it will be a progressive city woman who has achieved success in her own business, corporate career or creative calling. An “accomplished woman” can (and according to many, should) have a partner and be a caring, but not intrusive mother, and at the same time manage to realize herself in a career or “income-generating hobby.” She shows by her example that “you can do everything”: change the world, start a family, and not wear sweatpants with greasy stain for weeks.

"Housewife Syndrome"

A week ago, the Russian Ministry of Education and Science, by the way, launched a course “Lessons in Family Happiness,” which should prepare high school students for creating a family, preferably a large one. However, the background of Russian women is very different from Western ones: in the USSR there were housewives (non-working mothers did not even fall under the article on parasitism), but the government policy and living conditions were completely different. The country needed women both as builders of communism and as housewives: that before a shift at the factory it was necessary to take the child to the nursery and feed the husband, and after the shift, do laundry, cleaning and other household chores.

While Soviet women worked in several jobs and fell from fatigue, American women were quietly going crazy within four walls: the “housewife syndrome”, which Friedan describes in detail (she calls American families “cozy concentration camps”), manifested itself in a variety of mental and psychosomatic symptoms - from unexplained headaches and weakness to psychosis with suicide attempts. According to the researcher, the “housewife syndrome” was a direct consequence of the lack of choice and limited existence of American women who could not realize their potential, which is why they became emotionally unstable.

No one has tried to find out how many women have dreamed of becoming housewives since childhood and are consistently moving towards this goal - but there is a feeling that there are very few of them. Judging by research, in Western countries the decision to leave work is usually made after the birth of the first or second child - and not only because women want to participate in their upbringing, but also for financial reasons. Although the work of a mother and housewife, in terms of the services of hired workers, it costs a lot: what is the point of returning to the office (especially an unloved one) if all the money you earn will have to be given to a nanny, a cleaner or a food delivery service? This problem is especially acute in countries where there are no paid and other benefits for young parents - we already know that Russian women are lucky in this regard, compared to the same American women. At the same time, women around the world still earn fewer men, faced with discrimination in employment - it is logical that when one partner needs to stay at home and the other needs to provide for the family, roles are distributed in a “traditional” way, even if both advocate equal parenting and a fair distribution of household responsibilities. The problem is that these beliefs are often declared at the beginning of a relationship, but are not implemented in practice: in most cases, women perform at least managerial functions in a couple, and in 70% of Russian families, in general, all economic issues. Not to mention, the results of which are not as noticeable as frying pans polished to a shine, and require no less effort.

Judging by research, in Western countries the decision to leave work is usually made after the birth of the first or second child - and not only because women want to participate in their upbringing, but also for financial reasons

Hipster housewives

An alternative is offered by “millennial housewives”, aka “hipster housewives” - these young women have come up with a rebranding of the stereotypical image of the “house wife”. Tess Struve, a trained anthropologist who gave up work to raise her daughter and cook organic dinners for her family, explains the basic principles of "21st century housewives" on her resource millennialhousewife.com: Struve suggests giving up the "unrealistic" goal of "getting it all done" - and having a full-fledged career, and motherhood (essentially a second full-time career) - and find a way to contribute to the family budget, if necessary, but without being away from children and household chores for a long time. Struve believes that the main difference between “millennial housewives” and the desperate women of the 50s is the possibility of choice - and also the fact that modern non-working mothers do not lose touch with the world, since “with one hand they prepare dinner from organic products without GMOs, and with the other they hold an iPhone.” . Although this image is difficult to take seriously, the desire to actively participate in the lives of their children, thoughtfully choose food for dinner and keep the house in order is understandable - it is not surprising that many working women who cannot take maternity leave, hope to become housewives someday if financial position family will allow such luxury.

When choosing a "career" as a housewife, many women are likely not aware of all the cultural factors that push them to such a choice - and do not even wonder why their husbands do not consider this option for themselves. However, attempts to convince housewives that they are “wasting best years your life,” desperately reminiscent of calls to “liberate the women of the East,” . Perhaps the manifesto of “millennial housewives” sounds naive, but condemning women who chose caring for family over career and accusing them of “betraying” previous generations who fought for equality is at least strange. In the end, free informed choice is an important value; all that remains is to believe in women and give them the opportunity to make it.

Hi all! This post was prepared as part of the project Lena Grishina's Friends Club. This is my third post in the club. Previous posts are also open for discussion)

I also invite you to talk about other topics under the label
Today I would like to discuss with you a topic that concerns almost every girl (woman). On the Internet (and in life) there is an endless confrontation between housewives and working women. There is constant debate about who is better to be. Housewives blame workers for being “trapped,” tired, living in constant flight, etc. Those who work see housewives as lazy, in a shabby robe, with curlers on their heads, with a child in one hand and a ladle in the other). And also in the fact that sitting at home, a person begins to, roughly speaking, degrade and there is nothing to talk about with him.

In our country, for some reason, it is believed that being a housewife is shameful and they are equated with slackers and almost people lost to society. While in many European countries housewife is a whole status that equates them to working women. Is it good to be a housewife or is it better to be a working woman?

Of course, there is no definite answer here and there cannot be one. To each his own. But I would like to dispel some myths that are attributed to both.
1) Working women - driven and always tired
It all depends on the work itself, schedule and vital energy person. If a woman works at a job she loves, does what interests her, then her life is likely to be easy and rich. Everything is done automatically here.
Although, unfortunately, the opposite is often true. They go to work simply as a job, as a place where they pay money and nothing more. At the same time, that same job is not loved (and sometimes even hated). Exhausted from such work, you have to run home, cook dinner, work with the children, dreaming of quickly flopping into bed and falling asleep. In this case, depression, constant fatigue and irritability really appear.
2) Housewives are slobs, in a robe and with curlers on their heads.
In my opinion this is a stupid statement. It all depends on the person himself. If a person is sloppy or doesn’t take care of himself, then no amount of work will help him. Women “in dressing gowns” are found equally among both working people and housewives.
3) Housewives are lazy women who watch TV series all day. There is nothing to talk about with them, they do not develop as individuals.
I would combine this point with the previous one. Here, too, everything depends on the person himself. There are also working people who are not interested in anything else in life except work. Of interests - evening viewing of those same series. And you can only talk to them about what kind of boss.. is an asshole or how yesterday’s episode of your favorite movie ended. What kind of personal or spiritual development is there?
And there are also housewives who lead an active lifestyle, go to museums, theaters, read, do what they love, and develop diversified development. It is interesting to talk with them on any topic because they are very versatile personalities.
4) It's a shame to be a housewife.
I will tell you with my own example, because... I've been on both sides of the barricades. At the moment I am classified as a housewife. And so far, my family and I are happy with it. But there was a time when I was ashamed to admit that I didn’t work. Most often, people, having learned that my children are no longer infants, and I’m sitting at home, they rolled their eyes and asked: WHY are you sitting at home? And this question was accompanied by SUCH intonation that I involuntarily felt uncomfortable in front of the questioner and even ashamed. How is it that children go to children's group(i.e. there is no need to babysit them), and I DO NOT WORK. For some reason, many people simply don’t get this picture in their heads. It also happened that I began, as if to justify the fact that I did not work, to explain to everyone that the children were small, often sick, grandmothers and nannies were not around, etc.
But in the end I got tired of this situation. I just changed MY attitude and vision of it. I don't work, I have free time, which I dedicate to myself, my family, children, my favorite pastime (of course, needlework))). I am mobile, I can pack up and go somewhere (for example, on vacation) at any time and I don’t have to take time off from work, etc. And the most important thing is that at this point in my life, this suits me and my family. I am NOT ashamed that I don't work. To the question “WHY don’t you work?” I answer briefly: I DON’T WANT. Let them think what they want)))
Dear Girls, needlewomen, workers and housewives, I invite you to discuss this topic!