couples, focusing on shortcomings, encourage various adventures, such as going to a nightclub together and so on.

What actually lies behind the prohibitions of men who do not want their wives to communicate with their girlfriends and is it worth limiting girls' communication? Elena Kuznetsova, director of the Vladimir dating agency "Me and You", psychologist, consultant on interpersonal relationships, tells

According to her, some men really love their wife's girlfriends, because they are their missus. And the statistics in this respect are relentless. But if you do not consider the situation of betrayal, then the reason for the negative attitude towards the spouse's friends becomes. Most often, it is experienced by insecure men and men who lack the attention of their spouses.

Some women really themselves are the culprits of such situations, spending a lot of time with friends and forgetting about her husband. In this case, the man's claims to his wife are quite justified. At the same time, the best solution to the problem will not be to refuse to communicate with friends, but to maintain a balance in relationships.

wise wife

Here are some tips for wives on how to properly behave with their partner. It’s worth mentioning right away that we are not talking about petty tyrants or husbands suffering from pathological jealousy, but about normal men.

1. Convince your husband of your own loyalty and devotion

Always try in general conversations with your spouse. It is not necessary to refer to the opinion of your friends in a conversation, especially if you are discussing your relationship - this is how you admit that you are talking about your life to strangers, and you mix third parties into relationships. In addition, referring to the opinion of a friend, you demonstrate that you trust her more than your spouse. In this case, it is not surprising that your husband will not approve of your bachelorette parties.

If you are going to go for a walk with a friend, do not pretend to be a poor sheep in front of your husband, explaining to him that you personally do not want to go anywhere, but if you refuse, your friend will be offended. By such behavior you will cause you to simply set your husband against a friend.

2. Don't prioritize meeting friends

You and your husband are going to pull chairs together, but then your friend calls and invites you to go shopping. Deciding that her offer is much more attractive than repairing furniture, you leave your spouse and go shopping. As a result, the man's dissatisfaction with both your behavior and the behavior of your girlfriend, who took the initiative.

A wife should spend most of her time not with her friends, but with her husband. It is also important to listen to his advice, or at least pretend that she listens to them. So you will save male pride and, in addition, the partner will not feel that he is deprived of your attention.

It is also not possible to find understanding among the tyrant. He will behave as he sees fit, and if he has already got into his head that his wife should not communicate with her friends, it will be almost impossible to convince him of this.

To limit the freedom of a wife and forbid her to communicate with her friends, and even in a categorical form, of course, is wrong. This can result in accumulated grievances and subsequent quarrels. The ultimatums put forward by the husband do not solve, but only exacerbate the problem. Try to talk and find a solution that suits both. If , they will make concessions. If not, then you should think about your relationship, the psychologist notes.

Tactful girlfriend

The behavior of a friend also plays an important role in the situation. A friend should not behave intrusively and couples, constantly looming on the horizon. She must be tactful. Knowing that a man limits his wife's communication on the side, you should not call your girlfriend at home in the evening just to chat. It is better to choose a time when a woman is at work and has the opportunity to calmly talk on the phone.

Helpful information

A sensitive girl knows how to hear her friend. If, for example, she complains about the monotony and routine and offers to go somewhere together, you can safely invite her to the cinema, theater or shopping. If a woman, on the contrary, constantly complains about her husband, who does not let her breathe because of constant suspicions and jealousy, you should not aggravate the situation and initiate joint outings. With such offers you only, and yourself.

If you want to suggest your topics related to interpersonal relationships, write to the editorial office of AiF-Vladimir: [email protected].

The situation however. Yes, I wouldn’t really take a steam bath if this girl is not familiar to my wife and not entering our house. Among other things, shnyaga is also in the fact that a friend is married and are friends of the family. Or good friends. I like everything about her, her every gesture, I like talking to her, it’s impossible to talk about such topics with my wife, we can talk for hours about books, movies, it’s extremely interesting for me to listen to her absolutely non-arrogant, unhurried and reasonable tone. It also spoils the fact that she is beautiful exactly in my taste, not model appearance but delicate, fragile and very graceful. Well, you know how it happens, even her facial expressions insert me. Everything was so gradual, before we did not often communicate, and although I liked her, but nothing more than friendly sympathy. But lately. My wife and I sometimes visit them and I involuntarily follow what kind of hostess she is and how she behaves at home, I try on this "shirt" for myself. I'm on time. I know and see that my at least_sympathy is reciprocated. But lately I've been thinking about her a lot. In addition, the smell of her body ... Well, adult people will understand me. I read somewhere that you can tell your partner by smell. And it's true, I don't know, but I get goosebumps. But, I note, the sexual moment is not even in the first place.
Further. I don't even know how to say it without bragging. In general, I think ladies more experienced will understand me - the fact is that my wife does not particularly indulge me with home comfort. And I'm such a person, well, something prone to order in everything. But I try not to itch especially if something is wrong. But my friend knows this trait of mine, she also knows that my wife is not very similar to me in this regard. In general, in one letter I very subtly hinted to her about my sympathies somehow, in fact, delicately. I think she understood and now, well, how to say. Before, at their house, she would never have drawn attention to a light glove box in her house (they simply have situations in relation to life that are opposite to ours), but now when we come, she, I feel it, tries to show what a good hostess she is. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I am amusing my pride, but it seems to me so. I think I've explained the situation enough to ask questions. How do you think it is worth resolving my situation? I note that I am a fairly mature and tough person, my self-discipline is normal. I can stop giving vent to feelings. I can force myself to treat it at least as an object. But I can’t, as soon as I see her, my pancake becomes so warm inside. When they come, I trudge from the thought that "Well, now again interesting conversation will, finally", "I will sit next to her and smell her, and sometimes, as if inadvertently touch her hands, neck, hair, for example, reaching for something."
Or just stop everything? On the one hand, I understand that it is bright, these events are very warm and in colors. But knowing the basics of color separation, I also remember that on the other, opposite side of the circle lies the cold color of this event, these feelings.
Where can this lead me? How can I do better. Should I talk to her? I am almost 100% sure that if I talk to her this will not go further than her ears, I respect her and this is very mutual. However, will I make her laugh with some of my youthful thoughts. I don't want to look stupid.
I just think about the consequences, but you can’t command the heart. And I assume, judging by the trend, that everything will only intensify further. Probably to some extent, but what? Should I wait for it? Or still kill it now?
As for my feelings for my wife. I will not prevaricate and say that we did not succeed in the love that I wanted. You can't call our family strong. Relations continue on mutual respect. we've been through too much together. I appreciate and respect this person more than my own mother, God forgive me, but there is no love. In addition to our common problems and everyday life, we have no (and probably never had) points of contact. Maybe it didn't matter at first, she's such a beauty! It covered everything, but now. Men will understand - you get used to everything. So I got used to it and realized that beauty is not everything.
help me please good advice maybe someone had a similar experience? I do not know what to do, I'm afraid to break firewood.

Once, when you see a friend of your girlfriend or wife, you begin to understand that her friend has sunk into your soul, and now you devote all your thoughts only to her. Even when you are entertaining your wife, you are imagining her friend. What to do in this case, where to go and whether it is worth the risk, because if something goes wrong, your girlfriend will find out about your desires for her girlfriend, and then it is not known how your relationship will turn. We recommend that you read

IS IT WORTH IT TO RISK AND HIT YOUR GIRLFRIEND

If you really want and want a girlfriend of your girlfriend or wife, then, first of all, think about how much the risk justifies the pleasure received. Indeed, in this case, you are putting your relationship with your girlfriend at stake, and having an affair with your wife's girlfriend is much more dangerous than having a mistress who is unfamiliar with your girlfriend.

I want a friend's girlfriend, but I don't know whether to take a justified risk or leave her alone? This question is tormented by many men who fell in love with their girlfriend's girlfriend. First of all, think about how important your relationship with your girlfriend is to you, are you ready to endure a breakup if an affair with a girl’s girlfriend is revealed? There is also one risk that the girl’s girlfriend will fall in love with you and will try to take you away from the family by any means, including blackmail and simply telling your girlfriend (her girlfriend) about your relationship, maybe even provide a photo or video proof of your relationship, and then it’s hard to say how everything will turn out in your relationship with your spouse. Try to answer questions such as:

Are you ready to divorce and lose your relationship for the sake of your girlfriend's friend?
Relationship with a girl friend is only platonic, or do you want a family with her?
Can a girl's friend blackmail you?
Does the girl's friend have a family, or can she see you as a potential husband?
Are only love relationships possible between you and your girlfriend and nothing more?

Bottom line, if you want your girlfriend's girlfriend, then say about whether it's worth the risk or not, think for yourself, based on the relationship with your wife, and further risks of breaking up with the girl.

HOW TO TELL A FRIEND I WANT HER

It’s not worth talking right away and point-blank that you are showing interest in your girlfriend’s girlfriend, it’s better to watch her behavior. See how she treats you, if there are any hints of courting you on her part, try to find out how she treats you and what she says about you. The next step is to try to show your girlfriend's friend that you care about her, do it in small, casual courtship, so that you don't show it, and that the girl is pleased. In each specific situation, such courtship will be different, so it is impossible to describe the methods, look at the current situation. When you understand that the girl speaks well of you, and clearly noticed that she began to show interest in you, and you became closer and more familiar, start hitting on her. Social networks are very suitable for this, in which you simply add your girlfriend's (spouse's) friend to your friends and casually start a conversation with her, which should be completely free with a gradual transition to more personal and frank topics of personal life. And then it’s all a matter of technology, in the course of the conversation, but not immediately on the very first day of communication, but some time after the start of communication in in social networks. If your relationship with the girl's friend has gone to a fairly frank relationship, you can ask her a more frank question about your relationship with her.

WHAT TO DO IF THE GIRL'S FRIEND TOLD EVERYTHING

If the unexpected happened, and the girlfriend of the girl with whom you decided to establish a close relationship told your girlfriend or spouse about your claims, do not be discouraged, perhaps not everything is lost. Try to find a very truthful excuse, for example, say that her friend fell in love with you and set conditions, or you leave your wife and become her husband, or she will tell a lie to your girlfriend that you slept with her, of course, you told her no, so she is talking all sorts of nonsense.

But there is also a risk that the girl's friend will not only tell your friend or wife about your relationship, but also present evidence, such as photographs or video footage. In this case, be prepared to ask for sincere forgiveness, but if it does not help, be prepared to part and decide your further personal relationship with new woman, perhaps with the same girlfriend of his girlfriend. In general, if you tell yourself that "I want a girl's girlfriend", you should understand that in most cases your desire for her will only intensify, which leads to the breakup of the family (in most cases). We recommend that you read

WHAT TO DO IF I WANT A GIRL FRIEND BUT THE RELATIONSHIP IS MORE EXPENSIVE

And so, if you understand that you want a girlfriend of your girlfriend or wife, but do not want to spoil the relationship and, in general, think that this is wrong, then drive such thoughts away. Moreover, it will be even better if you limit yourself from any communication with your girlfriend's friend and, even more so, from meetings with her. You can even quarrel with her, so you ruin the relationship with your girlfriend's girlfriend, and it will be easier for you, because you will already understand that your relationship with your wife's girlfriend has been put to a distant dead end. That is, you will not live in hope of success, but you will understand that the relationship will no longer work out.

Good day. The question is how much? Or so, just sleep. Using examples from life, thank God not mine, I can say that this will not lead to anything good. You can be left without a family, a wife without a husband and girlfriend, children without a father. How does your friend behave? Does she know what you like? If she stirs up with you, then of course, this is not a friend, but it may end up with her quarreling with you, and you yourself will not need it. Exactly like you to her. If you have a platonic hobby, then you can carry it in parallel, just chat and be glad that this is a friend of your family. Of course, I highly doubt the latter. Think about how you prioritize the well-being of your family. Sooner or later, the wife will understand what's what, and if by this time you have no solution, then I'm sorry. Oops ..

From my female side, I can say that if you like a wife’s girlfriend or a husband’s friend, it happens that you really like it, pull yourself together. If she good man and it is very pleasant to communicate with her, enjoy communication and company. Moreover, as a friend of your wife, she probably often appears in your house, and there is no need to look for a reason to meet. But nothing more than communication, because it will not lead to anything good.

If she shows an open interest in you, then it’s better to tell your wife about this, why does she need such a friend, after all, the wife is a dear person for you, take care of her well-being.

And why do you need such hemorrhoids, if family life suits and wife caring, kind and loving. Think about the future, that after a betrayal your wife will say goodbye to you, and you won’t have a relationship with a pretty girlfriend, who later turns out to be not what she pretended to be.

Take care of household chores, work - chores are very distracting from various bad thoughts and fantasies. IN free time spend leisure time with your wife, hint that if she is constantly passionate about her friend, then nothing good will come of it.

Do not get hung up on this issue, act nobly and honestly, the sympathy of love is different.

Nothing to do. Forget, pull yourself together and fight temptation. You are a man. Can not be so. This is vile and base. Look for more virtues in your wife and do not let temptations dominate you.

Human relationships have value only when there is a struggle for them. Don't risk trust and relationships. Trust me, it's not worth it.

This situation appears in every family, and especially in a young family. In older families, such situations are rare, usually there are no real girlfriends in a similar situation, and if they do exist, then the situation has already occurred and the lovers were able to cope with it and the family did not suffer (the wife did not recognize or pretended), for that the husband and girlfriend remained friends for life and the family survived and the girlfriend, but this is also a rarity, it all depends on the people themselves in this triangle. Some forgive the husband, but not the girlfriend, others on the contrary, the third both out the door. In each family, the situation is different and actions, and how your family does not know how to deal with it, and the unknown is always scary, and so that the situation does not get out of control, you need to leave everything as it is. this moment. It's stupid to lose your family because of your wife's girlfriend and put your girlfriend in front of a choice, either you or your wife. If a friend is smart, she will understand herself and leave your family without loss, but if she has her own plans for you and you want to participate in them, then it’s better to do this when you are free from the family in terms of a divorced man, but it’s not a fact that you will then be in demand by the same friend.

Yes, a slippery situation ... Look, you can be left without a wife and nothing can work out with a girlfriend. I can only say that you cannot build your happiness on someone else's grief, therefore, I advise you to control yourself, especially if you want to save your family. Sympathy can develop into serious feelings and then, trouble! Therefore, I advise you to simply limit communication with her. Well, if it's too late, then ... You can only sympathize!

Pretty common occurrence. And if she also builds eyes, and the wife looks at it through her fingers, then the matter is clear: like bosom girlfriends who always share everything with each other, they are not averse to sharing you. But only for once. Fuck her and everything will pass. If deeper feelings were involved here, then the wife would quickly ward off her friend.

Life question. Remember the movie: Office Romance, when the main character complained that her best friend took her loved one away, she has since abandoned all her girlfriends. This case is not unique.

They say that between a man and a woman there can be no friendly relations, because they can turn into love ones. This statement did not come out of nowhere. There is a huge risk that the wife's girlfriend may become not just a friend of the family, but femme fatale who, reciprocating, sharing the sympathy of someone else's husband, becoming his mistress, will break the family.

There is an exit. A man needs to avoid communicating with this lady so that the feeling does not become deeper. You can't love your wife and your wife's girlfriend equally. Polygamy is forbidden in our country, and adultery is punishable. Most likely, a man will be tormented by his conscience that he betrays his wife, or the wife will eventually find out that her husband is cheating on her. close friend will file for divorce. And the family will end. It is unlikely that a man will be satisfied with such an outcome. It’s better for a husband to play it safe and until it’s too late to categorically stop all communication with his wife’s friend. And to tell his wife that he doesn’t want to get into women’s friendly conversations, so it’s better for girlfriends to meet on neutral territory, or when he is not at home. There is nothing prejudicial in this, they say, no. Convince the wife that it is preferable for friends (both married and unmarried) to communicate without the presence of their husbands. Wise women do just that.

Such a situation arises all the time, when it suddenly seems that the wife's girlfriend is more beautiful, more intelligent, and in general such a sweetheart that it is simply impossible not to fall in love with. But! How many disappointments there were from the fact that someone succumbed to this temptation!

I had a girlfriend who, being unmarried, visited me when I was already married. So, as soon as she got married, she just stopped talking to me. And my husband (who is now ex) once told me when alcohol loosened his tongue: I wanted your girlfriend, but she didn’t give me. Ha ha ha! Probably now you understand why my girlfriend stopped talking to me when she got married. So there is no need for any single girlfriends in a house where there is a husband and wife. And if you meet with friends, then only at their house or when your husband is not at home.

Do nothing, if a man loves his wife, then you never know who he likes. After all, this man took an oath at the registry office. So you just need to overcome your sympathy for other women and live happily on.