In the recent past, people seeking to have useful connections, were called careerists and opportunists. Market relations have changed perceptions, and now the importance of business connections is recognized by everyone. Thanks to acquaintances, necessary contacts are made that are beneficial to all parties.

Useful connections are a great strength, because thanks to them it is much easier and faster to get what you want. You can’t do without them either in business or in personal life. No wonder folk proverb says: “Don’t have 100 rubles, but have a hundred friends.”

True, people who are trying to acquire useful connections are often treated disapprovingly, implying that for the sake of such connections they are ready to mercilessly go over other people’s heads. And some works of art that we study at school only confirm this idea. For example, the hero of Guy de Maupassant's Bel Ami made useful connections by playing on other people's feelings and weaknesses and breaking destinies for the sake of his own career.

The same opinion has been formed about who they talk about - “a person with connections.” It is understood that he must be cunning, punchy, selfish, on his own, slippery, etc. He can get everything “even out of the ground,” connect with anyone and solve any problem.

IN recent years, as the business develops, the attitude towards people with connections changes for the better. Everyone understands that useful connections are, without which you can’t get anywhere. For example, according to statistics, 60–80% of directors, managers, administrators, and executives find work through personal connections.

6. No one will want to stay in a relationship with a person if he is not interesting.

Many, obviously, had to meet people with a very attractive appearance, but a poor inner world. And vice versa, people with, who at the same time were the soul of the company. Anyone who has is a good storyteller and can be friendly and responsive, always has a large circle of acquaintances and has useful connections.

7. The choice of new acquaintances must be selective

Many people, trying to acquire as many useful connections as possible, spread too thin. Finding themselves at an event or presentation, they collect business cards from everyone they can, but the next day they cannot really remember any of their owners.

8. It is worth considering that all new acquaintances are easily forgotten

Therefore, for them to be truly useful, they need to be supported. And this, as you know, takes time. Therefore, when counting on new useful connections, you need to think about whether there is a need for them and whether they will be worth the time spent on maintaining them?

9. However, you can’t narrow your circle of acquaintances too much.

After all, in the end, we need useful connections not only in business life, but also in private life. Therefore, we should not focus only on people of the same profession as us. We look for the same useful connections when we need a dentist, hairdresser, plumber, or teacher.

By the way, not so long ago useful connections were called “blat” - “through cronyism” people bought furniture, got a job, went to college, went to the hospital. In essence, “blat” was the same useful connections. Although, of course, this word carried a negative charge, since it implied the receipt of certain benefits not through personal merit, but bypassing others - “through the back door.”

10. Useful connections need to be established in advance, even before they may be needed.

Moreover, it is important that both parties express such a desire. We cannot count on the fact that we will be constantly provided with services in response to our requests for help, while we ourselves will evade any obligations. That is, you cannot treat useful connections consumeristly by simply using other people for . As they say, you need not only to take, but also to give: “Debt is worth paying.”

But you shouldn’t go too far - having done someone a favor, immediately hint to the person that it would be nice to “pay back”: “You - to me, I - to you!”

Speaking about the benefits of useful connections, we can rather recall the words of the Roman emperor and philosopher:

“People are born to help each other, just as a hand helps an arm, a foot helps a leg, and the upper jaw helps a lower one...”

Conclusion

1. In an effort to establish useful connections it's important not to overdo it. If an inner voice tells us that a person is reluctant to make contact and is not inclined to continue acquaintance, it is better not to insist and not to break into a door that they do not want to open. You can try again later or “knock on other doors.” Otherwise, it's easy to develop a reputation for being annoying and lose more than you find.
2. Benefit from useful connections should not turn into self-interest;
3. So that our efforts to acquire useful connections are not in vain, we need to work on ourselves so that be of interest to others.

Instructions

The most important thing is don’t sit at home and don’t be sour alone, because there are so many interesting places around - theaters, cinemas, exhibitions, concerts, museums, cafes, public holidays, etc. and so on. Make it a rule to spend time around people, and very soon you will realize that it has become much easier for you to get started.

While you have not yet become a dating expert, go out more often with a friend or someone who has no problems with communication. Firstly, through it it will be easier for you to meet new people, and secondly, you will look at it and adopt the “secrets of mastery”.

Learn to smile, and it’s better to do it not once or twice a day, but constantly. If the habit of smiling becomes second nature, you will come across as an open and friendly person, and people will be eager to get to know you.

When communicating, direct your attention to the interlocutor, and do not think about whether you are speaking or doing the right thing. Forget about your fears and complexes. Start communicating with strangers starting with minor and general phrases, but gradually expand their range. If you take small steps gradually, then soon you will completely stop being afraid of making acquaintances.

Compliments are an important element. Getting to know you will leave a person with the most pleasant impressions if you show him something pleasant. At the same time, try to say what you really like, and don’t force yourself to give a compliment.

Don't be afraid to take the initiative in communicating with new acquaintances. Invite them to go for a walk, invite them to the movies or to nature. Act more boldly, and soon you will easily make any acquaintances.

Video on the topic

On the Internet you can not only listen to music, watch movies, read books, but also meet people. Social networks, dating sites, thematic forums and online games - the list can be endless. But for successful dating you need to properly declare yourself.

You will need

• - computer;
• - Internet connection;
• - your digital photos.

Instructions

The first thing social network users pay attention to when they visit your page is your photos. It is best if they are taken by a professional photographer. When filling out albums, follow the main principle - better little, but high quality. Therefore, do not add blurry photos, with red eyes, bags and bruises under the eyes and other photos that do not impress people. Special attention pay attention to the background. Do not post photos against the backdrop of a dirty entrance, untidy, or after a stormy feast. These images will cause nothing but disgust. But you shouldn’t embellish yourself too much in photographs, otherwise, when you meet in person, your interlocutor may be disappointed.

Try to write correctly. Do not use a large number of emoticons or exclamation marks. It is best to leave the personal information column untouched. Too much good feedback may arouse suspicion of lying, and too bad ones will scare away a potential friend.

Before meeting the person you like, carefully study his page. Look at what he likes, which writers inspire respect, and go through his musical tastes.

The first message is the most important. Be original, but not too much. Write to him where you found his account and why he interested you. Don't write too much and don't include links in your message. A person may mistake you for a spammer.

Based on a couple of messages with a person, you can already determine his attitude towards you. The most important thing is the spark. And it doesn’t matter where she slips - in real life or virtual. And if she slipped through, then good or strong love can't be avoided.

Video on the topic

Find yourself a match for Serious relationships– this task sometimes turns out to be very difficult. Desperate to meet the right person In the usual way, some people turn to dating sites, because the choice there is much wider, and chance plays a lesser role.

Work on your profile

The rule that an impression of a person is formed in the first few seconds seems doubtful to almost no one. But with your profile the situation is exactly the same! You have a few seconds during which a potential candidate will evaluate your page and decide whether to write to you.

Think about how to make your page title interesting and powerful. Fill in your information to make it impressive. Phrases suitable for school essay, will be superfluous if you are looking for a serious relationship. The information should reveal you in the most interesting way. According to psychologists' studies, the most successful people in dating create their profiles by thinking about the ideal relationship from their point of view. This influences the direction of your thoughts and how you answer the survey questions.

On the other hand, excessive details are also useless. Sometimes it is useful to maintain some mystery by writing that you will tell the details in person.

Photo

It is best to add not one, but several photos to your profile. Don't be the first to show off your great figure. Add pictures that tell about your hobbies.

Be honest. Don't hang up other people's photos or those in which you look completely different from how you do now.

Communication and meeting

Before meeting with the selected candidate, try to communicate with him via chat. This short conversation will already allow you to weed out people who are unlikable to you and with whom it is difficult to talk.

Don't be afraid to tell people no. Don't date someone just to be polite. When you are looking for a partner for a serious relationship, you should not hesitate and be distracted by those who are obviously not suitable for you.

It is best to have a first date in a cafe. Meeting over a cup of coffee, on the one hand, does not oblige you to anything, but on the other hand, it can serve as a promising start for anything.

Dating on the site: are there any prospects?

If you start creating a profile with a feeling of hopelessness, not believing that this option will work, then, sadly, you really have little chance. There is no need to despair. The mood in which you write about yourself and fill out your profile will also affect the attention that suitable partners will give you.

According to statistics, at least 20% of successful couples who register their relationship met on the Internet. IN different countries These rates vary slightly, but the number of successful online dating grows every year. It is quite possible that your case will add to this happy statistic.

Video on the topic

Related article

Tip 4: How to meet a girl on a dating site

Dating sites and apps have become a part of our lives, but many people still get confused and end up coming to the mistaken conclusion that online dating is not for them. These tips will help you meet a girl on a dating site and not be disappointed.

Helpful advice that will enrich your life will surround you with an ever-growing, sensitive and compassionate network of friends who care about you just as much as you care about them.

True communication is about finding ways to make other people happy. The main thing is to give more than you receive.

If you build your career and life with the help and support of friends and acquaintances, then this has undeniable advantages, because: you will never be bored and you will always learn something new about yourself, other people, business and the environment world, as well as a circle of acquaintances that provide you with support and open up many opportunities for development, is very important in the modern world.

To create such a social circle, you need to work hard. To do this, you need to think not only about yourself, but also about others. If you decide to help others so that you can turn to them for help yourself, you will understand what a powerful lever this tactic can be for achieving your own goals. It will enrich your life, surrounding you with an ever-growing, nuanced and compassionate network of friends who care about you just as much as you care about them.

So, the basic principles of building a network of acquaintances:

1. Don't waste your time being modest. Seize every moment. Don't hesitate if you can do something or think you can. All genius, strength and magic lie in courage.
2. Look for people in the field you need. Be it a business, a career in a certain company, or just a group of interests.
3. First you, then you. First of all, we must stop counting our good deeds. You cannot build a network of mutually beneficial relationships by saving your acquaintances only for yourself. The more people you help, the more support you will receive in return.
4. Prepare in advance. If you go to some company or to a meeting with important person, find any information about him or the company in advance. Knowledge of a matter or a person’s interests will always benefit you.
5. Record contacts the people you meet.
6. After a conversation/meeting with the right person, immediately arrange your next meeting. It’s worth reminding yourself so as not to lose contact. Otherwise, this person will remain just a number in your address book.
7. You need to look for people in advance. And not at the moment when you suddenly urgently needed help. Meet people for friendship, not just for profit.
8. Don't eat alone. Having lunch with someone is in a great way establishing communication in a comfortable and relaxed environment. Invite the right people to have lunch with you.
9. Unite your circles of acquaintances. In united circles of acquaintances, new connections can be born that are also useful for you.

Ilya Malyshev,
especially for

25.06.2018 | | No comments yet

How to make useful contacts - Networking in simple words

In any business, be it traditional business or network marketing, you will have to make new useful contacts. But many people don't know how to do this. And today many books have been written on this topic, and many trainings are also conducted. But let's talk in this article in simple words about networking techniques.

Moreover, I think it will be very useful for you to read this article, because, despite the fact that I can now easily communicate with new people on various topics, I am an introvert. Those. if you don’t know who this is, then I don’t particularly like people. And if I have the opportunity to spend time alone in front of the computer, in nature or among a crowd of people (even close friends), then I would rather choose the first two options.

And before we talk about networking and meeting people, let’s first turn to the great Wikipedia for this concept, because it knows everything, although articles there are also written by ordinary people

Networking(anglicism from networking – letters weaving a network: net - network + work - work) is a social and professional activity aimed at, with the help of a circle of friends and acquaintances, solving complex life problems as quickly and effectively as possible (example: placing a child in kindergarten, find a job, meet your future spouse) and business issues (example: finding clients, hiring the best employees, attracting investors). At the same time, the essence of networking is building trusting and long-term relationships with people and mutual assistance.

By the way, do you remember how easy it was to meet other people as a child? We just approached them and said “Let's be friends!” And that's all... This was the beginning of friendship and communication. But for some reason, as people grow older, they begin to close in on themselves. And either society imposes this, or our parents teach us this way. I mean, don't trust anyone. Yes, I already wrote an article about why being raised by parents who were born in the Soviet Union prevents many people today from earning decent money. You can read it.

Do you know that it’s very good that you wonder how to meet people and are interested in networking techniques? Few people do this!

I can give you an example: recently a novice photographer from Moscow, Denis Frolov, came to the city of Yeisk. (by the way, if you are reading this article, hi to you! You inspired me to write it). He started writing to people on Instagram and negotiating to give them a free photo shoot in a field with fireworks, etc. He even spread the ad across VKontakte groups.

Of all the people he wrote to, how many people do you think responded? Only we! As a result, we now have our own photographer friend in Moscow! And if we want to go to Moscow to have a cool photo shoot there, I know where to turn. And I hope that they will conduct a photo shoot at a discount)

In his case it is also beneficial, because he met entrepreneurs and I can recommend him to you on my blog. And I will do it with pleasure. Therefore, if you live in Moscow or the Moscow region, then contact him, say that from me - Alexey Nesterov from Yeisk. Well, here link to his Instagram profile.

And this is just one example of how easy it is to meet people! Just keep it simple and talk to people around you!

Now let's move on to specific examples of where and how you can meet new people.

How to meet people

Go to events in the city

One hundred percent of various events take place in your city. And I highly recommend that you go there.

Firstly, you will develop yourself. Secondly, you will definitely meet new people there. Find friends with similar interests.

If you are in business (and you most likely are in business if you are reading this article), then go to various business meetings, seminars, and presentations. People gather there who look in the same direction as you!

In our small town, such events are held very rarely, but if we hear about it, we definitely go to it. This way we make new useful contacts. And due to this, the organizers now know about us and at some of these events we acted as speakers.

And you yourself understand that when you act as a speaker and tell how in such a small city you were able to achieve an income that is almost ten times the average salary, then people themselves begin to come up and get acquainted.

And now, if we are not very popular people in the city, many people know us in their circles

Therefore, if you don’t go to such events, you lose a lot of useful contacts.

Make business cards

Continuing the last point... It will be very inconvenient if everyone has to take out their phone and record you. But if you have business cards, then you can give them to everyone.

Moreover, a business card greatly enhances you in the eyes of your interlocutor (especially if it is made with high quality and beautifully). Few people make their own business cards, because... consider this unnecessary. But ask any networking coach and everyone will tell you that you must have your own business card! And it should be located so that when communicating with a person, you can reach it in one second.

Therefore, print business cards. If you yourself are not strong in design, then turn to some master. This way you will make new useful acquaintances

For example, we have linen business cards (material on which the aroma lasts for a very long time - I make perfumes, coffee and other similar products). And I can’t make any pictures there, but maybe that’s even good, because I love minimalism. And I made this simple business card for myself.

Maintain social networks and communicate on forums

And it’s very strange for me when I meet a new person and he’s not on any social network. This means that this person is either hiding something, or he cannot communicate with people at all. Although such people never meet anyone in real life.

If you want to be known, create an account in the most popular in social networks. I recommend VKontakte, Instagram and Odnoklassniki (if you are over 50).

When people meet you, they want to know more about you. Well, isn’t it an option for them to ask you personally?) They go to your social networks and look at your photos, thereby getting to know you.

I have accounts on all social networks that are now popular in Russia, I also have my own blog on YouTube and this blog, which is also a way to meet new people. People read my articles and find out how I think. And if our thoughts converge, they find me on social networks and we communicate.

By the way, if you want to find another, if not friend, then acquaintance, then add me on VKontakte and write that you came from an article about networking. I will definitely add you and we will be friends

If you have no idea how to properly design a VKontakte page, for example, then you can read my article. There I laid out each item on the shelves, how what should be written and where to put it.

Say you are undergoing training

Now catch a specific life hack

Moreover, it is suitable both for dating on social networks and in real life.

We once went through a training and the trainer gave the task: “Now write in your notebook what you would do every day that would bring you closer to success.” And then it dawned on me! After all, I am engaged in a network business! Which means I must have a lot of friends!

This means that I have to meet at least five to ten people every day. But if I do this, like many networkers, namely, flooding people with spam and behaving like an online zombie, then they will simply block me on social networks and avoid meeting me on the street.

And I thought, what if I meet people and say that this is my task for the training?

And it helped!

I just started writing to people like:

— Elena, good afternoon!
- Hello!
— Elena, I’m currently undergoing training and my task is to meet new people every day. And so, I decided to write to you and add you as a friend)
- What kind of training?
— In general, training on personal growth. I do business and go through it for my self-development) What do you do?

And everything like that.

And people react very well to such messages, because I don’t sell them anything, I just make new acquaintances.

And they are happy to meet you and add you as friends.

Moreover, they themselves begin to ask - what is it, how is it and what do you do...

How to communicate with people if you don't know how to do it

Agree that it is not enough to just get to know a person. After all, an ordinary acquaintance does not give anything if you do not become closer to this person.

How do people get closer? Absolutely right! Find common topics of conversation!

But we cannot know everything about everything and be interested in everything. So I mastered a very cool technique. And now I'll share this simple secret, which almost all people do not use.

Everyone, in fact, likes to talk about themselves, about their hobbies, and not listen to what others say. And if you learn to be not a storyteller, but a listener, then everyone will communicate with you with great pleasure!

I usually find out what the person is doing. And I start asking him questions. Moreover, I ask questions not only to win the person over. I'm really interested in learning more about a person.

And after such conversations, people consider me a very good and interesting conversationalist, although I, in fact, did not tell them anything, but only listened.

Therefore, talk less and listen more! And people will love you and invite you to visit and events...

Today, many books have been written on this topic, but I want to recommend one.

This is a book Dale Carnegie “How to win friends and influence people” . And many may think that this is a book about influencing people’s psyches or about hypnosis.

This is a book about how you need to behave with people so that they themselves are attracted to you. After all, everyone remembers the phrase? By the way, you can purchase this book using this link.

Be simpler and people will be drawn to you.

This book contains many specific examples of how famous people got out of situations by meeting and communicating with useful people.

In general, I won’t tell you much about this book. Just know that I mastered all the skills of making useful contacts largely thanks to this book.

Watch another video about networking that we recorded for you:

And in conclusion, I would like to say that anyone can easily make useful contacts if they want to. As proof to you, I am a Person who does not like to communicate with people, communicates with them with ease.

Be sure to PM me and check.

Well, I wish you, firstly, to read the book that I recommended in this article, and secondly, to learn how to make useful acquaintances with people. After all, this will bring you not only new clients or business partners, but also fame among people!

Good luck to everyone!

Well, if you are not yet familiar with the network business, or you think that this is complete nonsense and an activity for girls and grandmothers, then I suggest you read my article. I hope that in it I will be able to show you what network marketing really is.

Networking is designed to solve complex life problems with the help of a circle of acquaintances. Through a network of such connections, you can enroll a child in kindergarten, get a job, organize a business, etc. This is not cronyism, but mutual assistance and long-term trusting relationships.

All ours everyday life, one way or another, takes place in society. And if you personally want to live alone in your own apartment, then theoretically you can try to organize this, but if you have your own business, then without relationships and communication with other people it is unlikely to be successful.

Any business is, first of all, a certain relationship between people, and in order for it to develop well and bring tangible profits, you need to be able to make the right contacts.

Such connections, which can help in achieving success in any business, are called interesting. English word“networking”, formed by adding two words “net” and “work”, which translated into Russian means “network” and “work”. Every person is aware of the importance of personal connections, but not everyone is in a hurry to actually do anything in this direction. And the question “How can you start them?” sometimes it just baffles me.

Are you really wondering how to find those “right people”?

The algorithm of actions is approximately the following.

Such people are the so-called “first circle” of acquaintances. To give them a kind of “assessment”, you can use the help of a computer. Create an electronic file cabinet; this can be done in a regular text editor. Moreover, consider each person from the point of view of “usefulness” - write down all the information that you can find on each acquaintance.

In separate blocks, highlight specific categories - colleagues, classmates, fellow students, friends, those people with whom you have to communicate on various “non-work” interests - in gym or regarding your hobby. It is quite possible that you also have acquaintances with whom you have not communicated for a long time? You need to try to find out how their life turned out and what changes have occurred in it. Can these people be of any help to you?

2. Analyze from the point of view of “usefulness” “the people you know”

This is the next circle of acquaintances - the “second”. Think carefully and identify among them people who can actually become very useful for you, even if only theoretically. If you find such people, then try to get to know them personally.

And it would be good to do this with the help of those people who know both you and them - let them introduce you to each other and recommend you for communication. Thus, new acquaintances will gradually “move” from the “second circle” to the “first”, and as a result of such rotation, in addition to potential benefits, you will receive some access to important acquaintances of their “first circle”. Do not hesitate to expand your personal network of acquaintances, thereby significantly increasing their effectiveness, and also becoming a “significant” person in these close circles. And in any business, this is really important.

3. Any advanced training courses, professional organizations and clubs

And also various corporate events are a great place to meet the right people. Only in order to quietly take advantage of such a good opportunity, you need to show creativity and ingenuity.

4. Internet space and social networks

This is truly the most accessible way to find new “needed” acquaintances, and not using this colossal resource is the most annoying and stupid mistake for any business. But it must be used exclusively correctly. Treat the task at hand professionally, carefully and unobtrusively. Do an extensive analysis of the communities you need, where the people you would like to meet live.

5. There can be useful people even among those you know who are not directly related to your work.

Chat with them not only about hobbies, children or pets, ask them about work as well. It may happen that you accidentally discover a truly “golden” person, whose necessity and usefulness you had not even suspected before. And for this you need so little - just be interested in his life and affairs a little more than an ordinary interlocutor would do.

6. Build your network of “helpful” acquaintances long before the moment when you might actually need real help from them

Don't wait for something to happen that you can't handle on your own. By this moment, you should already have X “right” people. That is why making important contacts needs to be done constantly and everywhere.

What mistakes can be made in networking?

1. You can’t constantly “take” something and give absolutely nothing in return.

In this case, the important principle of mutual assistance is violated, which means that at the most critical moment, the person offended by you may simply not respond to your request.

2. Don’t overly praise yourself or exaggerate your own importance.

Someday your deception will be revealed, and you will suffer a crushing fiasco. It is much wiser to be humble and do more than others expect of you.

3. Discrepancy between reality and visual image

In some cases, this cannot even be called a mistake, but if you initially position yourself as a successful businessman, then an excessively glamorous image at a business meeting will somewhat change the prevailing opinion about you. Although if this is a strategy thought out in advance for some purpose, then the result will be completely different.

When seeking to make such connections, be sure to consider not only the perceived potential benefits, but also the possible dangers of your environment. Remember the famous line from Hollywood action movies that everything you say can be used against you? Don't forget about this for a minute!

And believe me, all your actions and conversations are under constant supervision of people from your inner circle. But in practice, this may result in the fact that during a difficult period in your life, some of them will turn away from you, and some will even try to turn your problems into their own benefit.

There is practically nothing that can be done in such a situation - after all, you are playing a cruel game called “business”. And it’s better not to forget these simple truths, no matter how banal they may seem!