Evgeniy Lebedenko

Does female friendship exist? 5 most popular myths

There has been an age-old debate about what female friendship is. The psychology of female relationships is overgrown with legends and anecdotes, just like female logic. But does female friendship even exist? If so, how true are the legends that tell about her? Where do myths end and reality begin? Let's figure it out together.

Myth 1. There is no friendship in love

The most important difference between male friendship and female friendship, according to the majority, is that men will never break off their friendship for the sake of a woman, while women easily betray their friends for the sake of men.

Reality

This myth actually has some basis. Women are very emotional and vulnerable creatures. And if a friend manages to have an affair with a handsome guy earlier, then most often this hurts a woman’s pride. When one of the girlfriends starts making eyes at the other’s husband, she will immediately be thrown out of the door.

But wouldn’t a man be offended if his friend started wooing his wife? This doesn’t happen among men, you say. This is where the difference between what is commonly called male and female friendship is hidden.

Men call their friends only those who really are them. Whereas among women it is customary to call friends, colleagues and acquaintances “friends”. Among such acquaintances, all those situations often occur that give rise to myths about what female friendship really is.

Myth 2. Girlfriends are only made by misfortune

Reality

Women love to cry into each other's vests when something goes wrong. Often on this basis they converge and become friends. Sometimes real friendship is born from such relationships, and sometimes women remain just friends.

And yet this does not mean that women do not know how to be happy for each other. In that case, of course, if these are real friends and they have real female friendship.

Myth 3. All women are treacherous

Women make friends only in order to look impressive against the background of a not-so-pretty friend or in order to win the man they like away from their newly made friend. Remember movies about scary and too beautiful girls? Directors love these types of stories.

Reality

There are many stories about how families were broken up due to the treachery of the wife’s “best friend.” And, unfortunately, many of them are true. But this is not a reason to label all women. Look around you, are you surrounded only by envious people and gossips?

Myth 4. Women cannot be friends because of their psychology

There is an opinion that women so jealously guard “their territory” - husband, lover, that they do not trust each other at all and cannot make true friendship. Especially with that friend who managed to lose weight and look prettier like a goddess.

Reality

This stereotype cannot be applied to absolutely all women. Every woman has the friends she deserves. And if a woman is an open, sincere and kind person, then what can prevent her from having strong friendship with another person like him?

True friendship can only be called those relationships that are built on mutual support, understanding and affection, regardless of the gender of the friends. All myths about female friendship are born because true friendship is much less common among women than among men. But this does not mean that it does not happen at all.

Myth 5. Female friendship exists only until the friend becomes more successful

Female friendship can be destroyed not only because of love or competition for a man, but also because of career and financial success. Yes, this can happen. But not in all cases.

Reality

Female friendships due to a career or a successful marriage, when the husband gives money and helps in every possible way, can collapse for those women who put material values. This cannot be said to be the majority.

This group is divided into those who worry and lose girlfriends due to a lack of personal financial achievements, and those who received them from other sources: husband, friend, benefactor, and so on.

But if it happens that friendship in other areas can be very tender and strong, but as soon as fragile female relationships are touched by the changing material world, all good feelings instantly pass. It's like a marriage of convenience.

What to do in this case? Do not under any circumstances regret that you have lost such a friend. She will never really help you if you have a really serious situation.

True female friendship exists for those women who truly want it.

Take it for yourself and tell your friends!

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Do you believe in female friendship? Many dispute the very existence of such a phenomenon. Supporters of this opinion are sure: girls don’t know how to be friends. After all, the main thing for any woman is family and children. This is exactly what they strive for. And girlfriends often interfere with personal happiness. Is it really? Let's figure it out.

Envy

Women's friendship is very multifaceted. Girls make friends easily. You can talk about anything with people of the same sex. And it is precisely the fact that sometimes girls are too frank with each other that interferes with normal relationships. After all, envy is an innate feeling. Therefore, it’s difficult to resist looking askance at your friend, whom fate presents on a silver platter Good work, a rich gentleman and a beautiful car. And the most surprising thing is that such lucky women are still dissatisfied with something. They come to meet a friend and complain that her lover gave her a Lexus, although she wanted a Ferrari. At such a moment, the less wealthy girl cannot restrain herself. She has to take public transport, and her friend complains that her car doesn't have a reclining top.

It should be understood that all people are different. Some people don't know how to be sincerely happy for others. But envy occurs not only in women, and not in everyone it manifests itself violently. So if you are disappointed in your friendship just because your childhood friend is jealous of you, you should understand the fact that your friend is an unworthy person, and there are people in the world who are more worthy of your attention.

Jealousy

Why do many relationships fail? Because of jealousy. Female friendship is no exception. Your friend may be lonely. This is why she really values ​​communication with you. And when you pay less attention to her, she may deliberately start doing nasty things, just because he wants to keep you. You should treat such actions the same way you would treat small children who crave your attention. Talk to your friend and explain to her that you don't want to ruin your relationship, but there are a lot of interesting people around you. And if you are a friend of yours, try introducing her into your circle of friends. In this case, she will get to know your friends better and stop being jealous. You need to be a bit of a psychologist. If you notice that your friend is jealous, it means she has low self-esteem. Talk to the girl about this. Tell her that she is beautiful and smart. There is no need to judge a person just because he has little joy in his life. Try to become a ray of light and help your friend get through a difficult period. In this case, you will not be disappointed in friendship and will be able to maintain a good relationship for many years.

Grievances

There are no perfect people. Therefore, there is no point in trying to please everyone at once. Do as you want, within reason, of course. And if at the same time you have to offend a person, do not be upset. After all, by fulfilling other people's demands, you risk losing yourself. Let's give an example. Your friend wants to go to a party on Saturday, but you don't want to go. You only have two days off a week, and you want to devote one evening to yourself and just read a book. Don't deny yourself this pleasure. Honestly explain to your friend how things are. A smart girl will be able to understand you. This refusal does not mean that female friendships do not exist. Taking time for yourself is a selfish desire that helps you remain a whole person. But in exchange for refusal you should offer something. In the case of a party, you can tell the girl that there will be an opening of an exhibition this week, which you can go to together. Always offer an alternative, otherwise you may lose the friendship through multiple rejections. And always talk about grievances, don’t keep them to yourself. They tend to accumulate. And it’s much easier to solve the problem right away than to wait for the moment when a snowball of misunderstandings and reproaches falls on you.

Different social circle

Do you still think that female friendship does not exist? Perhaps you are simply unlucky with your friend. After all, if you were burned once in a relationship with a man, this does not mean that there is no point in starting over. The same should be done with friendship. Sometimes relationships go bad through no fault of your own. You may not notice it, but you are growing. And this happens regardless of your desire. Promotion, introduction to interesting people and improving your status can destroy old relationships. There's no point in worrying about this. If you grew up, earn a good salary, live in a prosperous area and eat in restaurants, it is natural that your low-income friend will be jealous. She may even try to pull you out of this luxury, saying that you are too uppity. But if you understand that you have changed, and your friend simply does not want to do anything to improve her life, this does not mean that friendship does not exist. It's just time to find new interesting friends who will help you grow, not degrade.

Divergence of Interests

People change, and that's normal. Many skeptics say that female friendship does not exist, only on the grounds that relationships between girls deteriorate due to the divergence of their interests. But this happens not only to women. People tend to change. You probably had friends from school or college with whom you were. But today you don’t communicate with these girls, and why? Perhaps they took the wrong road. For example, they may continue to visit clubs at the age of 30 and invite you with them. But you are no longer interested in these youth parties. You prefer to go to social events and visit theaters. And you must admit, there is nothing wrong with this. People's interests change, new people appear in your environment. You shouldn't cling to the past and try to mend relationships that no longer hold on to anything. Don't give up on friendship. You can always find a like-minded person.

Shared Memories

Why do people be friends for many years? Because they find each other interesting, they have something to talk about and something to do together. And they also have something to remember. A shared past can strongly bind people together. You can communicate with your childhood friend only because you always have the opportunity to experience those childhood emotions with her and remember incidents that your memory cannot retain. Friendships are formed from shared memories. The more there are, the closer the person is to you. Why then do they say that there is no such thing as female friendship? Because even childhood friends break up. They no longer have common interests, they have nothing to talk about. Why does this happen less often in men? The fact is that when the guys get together in the evening, they discuss football, politics and books. Girls love to gossip. And if they have nothing to talk about, they miss each other's company. I don’t want to remember the same thing all the time. Therefore, in order for communication not to come to naught, you need to maintain relationships by accumulating new memories. Go out for walks more often. Going to various events together will strengthen your friendship.

Confidence

What is the most expensive gift you can give someone? That's right - trust. If he is not there, there is no normal relationship. Let them say that there is no such thing as female friendship, but you know that this is not true. It does not exist only where there is no trust. If you can tell a person about your personal problems and experiences, then there is friendship. You must be sure that the whole world will not find out your secrets. It is precisely on the basis of collapsed trust that myths about the absence of friendship are created. But there are always gossipers. And in order not to be disappointed in a person, you need to listen to him carefully. If your friend blurts out the secrets of your mutual friends to you, rest assured that your secrets will not be news to anyone either. Therefore, in order not to get into an awkward situation and not to be disappointed in female friendship, periodically check on the person you trust.

Help

Close people always take a direct part in our lives. They advise us what to do in difficult situation, help morally, physically and financially. And if you manage to find a person in your life who is always there at the right moment, hold on to him. Let there be no female friendship, don’t believe it. If you have a friend who can come in the middle of the night and console you, who cares and makes you happy, then you are lucky. After all, friendship is tested precisely in trouble. So don't hesitate to ask for help. You are not alone in this life. There is no point in carrying a heavy burden and enjoying your suffering. If you are surrounded good people who can help, do not pay attention to evil tongues that will claim that good is not sought from good.

Same view of the world

You need to appreciate people who think the same way as you. Let them say that there is no such thing as female friendship, but if you find a girl who shares your values ​​in life, consider her a gift from fate. Even if there is a wonderful man next to you who shares your views on things, he cannot replace a friend with whom you can talk about everything in the world. Your husband or boyfriend won't be interested in listening to an ode to the new boots you bought on sale. And your friend will be sincerely interested in information about where you can buy wonderful boots at a good price. Only with a girl can you go shopping, to a beauty salon or to a photo shoot. Perhaps you and your friend are interested in floriculture, embroidery or knitting. In this case, you can spend more than one evening having a fascinating conversation in which you will find out where you can buy beautiful yarn, interesting patterns or the seeds you need.

A chance to be yourself/cry

Lolita Milyavskaya’s song “Women’s Friendship” carries an incredible meaning. It’s true, a woman needs a friend in order to be herself. Girls sometimes behave very unnaturally with men. They try to look more beautiful and smarter than they really are. Wearing masks every day, sometimes you want to relax and just be yourself. Sometimes you just need to feel sad and cry into someone’s chest. And there is no better candidate for this role than a friend. You can tell her about all your failures and troubles, and she will always support you. You will know that you are not alone and this thought may make you feel better. Yes, life sometimes presents unpleasant surprises, and only the best friend will always give useful advice, how to cope with grief and how to survive it.

Does friendship exist?

You may or may not believe that the earth is round, but that will not make it flat. The same goes for female friendships. Because you don't believe in its existence, it won't go extinct. If you are very unlucky in life and you are disappointed in friendship, this does not mean that you need to assure everyone around you that there is none. Try to find a like-minded woman with similar interests. Believe me, communication with women is simply necessary. Gatherings with friends help ease the soul and relax. Sometimes you just need to talk to someone. With a friend you can do unimaginable stupid things, which will later become the best moments of your life. It's always worth learning from mistakes. If fate has made you believe that female friendship is incompatible words, then try to refute this statement. And perhaps, if you stop closing yourself off from the world, you can find a girl who will become your best friend.

There is quite a lot of talk about female friendship both in psychology and in everyday life. This topic is fertile ground for discussions, the outcome of which may not be obvious. Many people believe that female friendship does not exist, however, this is not at all true. It can be proven to any skeptic that trusting relationships between representatives of the fair half are possible and acceptable.

Examples of friendship between girls in Everyday life enough. Of course, relationships between friends will not always be completely trusting; in any case, each person has his own secrets that are not customary to talk about. But there are also cases when the level of understanding is so high that you, as they say, “let a close friend into your soul.” Each girl determines for herself the limits of what is acceptable. And you shouldn’t reproach yourself for not telling your friend something – there are some things that are so personal that it’s better not to discuss them.

The difficulties and advantages of female friendship

Each woman has her own character difficulties, traits that are quite difficult for strangers to put up with. Eg:

• excessive importunity;
• openness, the desire to show off your life;
• the desire to become too deeply involved in the life of a close friend.

This is most often the factor that pushes people away from each other. Therefore, it is important to find a balance, that point of possible communication at the level of which each participant in the friendly relationship will be comfortable.

Women by nature have excessive emotionality, which is quite difficult to restrain due to the characteristics of hormonal activity and many other factors. Therefore, the fact of having a close friend, the only and best one with whom you can talk about everything in the world, is very important. Sincere dialogues with a soul mate will help to level out the emotional background, establish a certain balance, and put thoughts and feelings in order.

Often a friend can only help by listening. After all, you don’t always need advice to understand yourself. Sometimes you just need to speak out, “pour out your soul,” because the spoken words are easier to put “on the shelves.”

Friendship between girls is an island of salvation in the life of every representative of the fair sex. It is she who helps restore the balance of mental strength, lift your mood and spirit in difficult times.

Of course, to many, conversations between friends may seem empty. But it is precisely these conversations “about nothing” that help to achieve a state of mental comfort. Discussing the weather, cosmetics, work, clothes, everyday situations, everything in a row, the girls gradually come to the right conclusions in certain life situations. A true friend will always rush to help - when choosing a dress or lipstick, and when you need advice in a relationship with your beloved man, and much more. If you have someone to turn to for recommendations, it makes life much easier. If the level of trust suits both friends, they will be comfortable communicating with each other, sharing all their secrets, problems, good and not so good news.

Doubts about the existence of female friendship

Why do many doubt that female friendship exists? The answer to this question is speculative and probabilistic. The opinion that female friendship does not exist arises due to the cunning of the weaker sex and a penchant for intrigue. An example of a team consisting of ladies often flashes before our eyes, which many call a “serpentarium” due to constant gossip, quarrels and a general unstable situation. However, this is not proof that female friendship does not exist. After all, no one chooses the team; it develops on its own and does not always become strong. Colleagues do not always build close relationships outside the office. But sometimes conversations about female friendship come down to discussing work contacts. Dialogues are being held on the topic of how the girl was able to integrate into the team and establish warm relationships with colleagues.

Friendship between women often becomes the object of jokes among representatives of the stronger sex. Many of them believe that nothing can be stronger than male friendship. This opinion is just a feature of psychology strong half humanity and way of thinking, but not a proven fact. Men love to talk about female friendship, ridiculing its existence, often without understanding anything about the importance of this concept for the fair sex.

Why do women themselves doubt friendship?

Some girls themselves are convinced that female friendship does not exist. This most often happens because they made a wrong choice at some time in the past. loved one, object of trust. Maybe the woman was let down earlier close girlfriend, ruined relationships, was too envious or mocking. No one has canceled the fact of increased emotionality, and it can be quite difficult to forgive a person, even if you objectively understand the causes and consequences of the conflict. After all, why do quarrels arise? Most often due to misunderstanding, incorrect assessment of actions and words, both yours and your friend’s.

Difference between friendship and communication

Female friendship should not be confused with the ordinary need for communication. A person is a social being, he needs to contact other people, build relationships, play certain roles (family member, employee, colleague, friend). But this does not mean that every girl who is in your close or not so close circle can become a friend.

The need for communication can be successfully realized at work in conversations with team members, at home with relatives, or simply on the Internet - on forums and in in social networks. But not everything can be entrusted to family members and colleagues; there is always something gnawing at your soul, something you want to say, but there is no one to talk to. Yes, many people find a way out on the Internet, for example, on psychological support forums, but this cannot help in all life situations. It is much more important to feel that a person understands you, understands your problems and is trying to help solve them.

Of course, not everyone is open to communication, but most often, every representative of the fairer sex has friends, at least one, but one who can be trusted.

Friendship between women is a deeply social phenomenon that helps a lot in everyday life. Perhaps you shouldn’t blindly and unconditionally open up without reserve; you need to build relationships in such a way that they are not a burden for anyone.

True female friendship allows you to cope with many of life's difficulties and troubles, starting with an ordinary bad mood and ending with illness or psychological tension during quarrels in the family, discord, and breakups with a loved one.

To summarize, we should answer the question, what is female friendship? How does it originate? In general, is female friendship a reality or a myth? First of all, this is an important component psychological comfort in every girl's life. You can talk a lot and for a long time about female friendship, but it is better to start establishing existing trusting relationships. On the Internet, a sufficient amount of attention is paid to the discussion of this issue, but nothing can replace simple human communication.

There is no need to doubt whether female friendship exists, because it really does exist. The only question is the level of trust that every girl can afford in a relationship with a close friend. Friendship between women is an indisputable fact, attempts to refute it only prove its existence.

It is impossible to measure true friendship; it is needed no less than air. What about female friendship, which most people call a myth? Is there female friendship? Does it happen at all? Why doesn't female friendship exist? What is female friendship? Maybe best friends girls - only diamonds.. To the question “ Do you have any friends?“A modern boy or girl can answer “Yes, 200” or “300,” because so many people are on the VKontakte friend list. They say about such people: “ There are tons of friends, and true friend No" But it is necessary to separate the concepts “ friendship" And " acquaintance».

Why don't female friendships exist? Is it so

For a woman, like for every person, " without a true friend - great sadness" Sometimes we really need to communicate “like a woman,” without a man’s mind and logic. Someone calls their mother a friend, who can always help, be truly happy or sister. But unlike consanguineous relationships, friendship is an individually selective relationship with mutual affection among the participants. The question arises: who should you choose to be your friend?

Each in her life has certainly encountered both cases of true devotion, mutual assistance and support between women, and servile pseudo-friendship, beneficial only at a certain time. Strong female friendship, real, without mistrust and flattery, is not a rare phenomenon. Another thing is that there are more obstacles to its existence than reasons to preserve it.

Why is there no female friendship? For many women, friendships break down when family comes along because friends fade into the background. For some, female friendship exists until... until a potential beau appears. Competition constantly gets in the way of friendship. The biggest bone of contention between women is envy, the reason for which is sometimes ridiculously petty. Friends are made not only in trouble. A true friend shares positive feelings with you - she sings with happiness when you feel good!

Friendship is an art that depends on both parties. This is a treasure that must be found and preserved. Close relationships between representatives of the fair sex can give incomparable pleasure. If you are frank in your communication and discuss not only fashion and men, if it is not femininity that comes to the fore, but friendship, then we can sincerely congratulate you.

Does female friendship exist? Some girls believe that true and true friends no and there won't be. Everyone has their own opinion, but I will answer “YES”. And everyone will have their own symbol of female friendship.

Many skeptics claim that female friendship does not exist. However, psychologists have proven that this statement is a fallacy. When communicating with each other, girls exchange emotions, which are sources of the sensory sphere and allow energy to circulate. There must be a balance between friends. If one fully understands the essence of the problem, and the other treats everything superficially, an unequal distribution of energy arises. One person becomes a vampire, and the other becomes a donor, and the thin thread of interaction is lost. The key to strong female friendship is mutual giving.

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Psychology of female friendship

Female friendship is based on the peculiarities of the psychology of the fair sex. High level empathy involves not simple communication when people exchange information, but a deep immersion in the problems of the interlocutor. Girls have a genetically embedded mechanism for the connection between mother and child, which manifests itself not only in interaction with their own offspring. Women tend to take grief and joy, admiration and disappointment to heart and pass through themselves.

Female friendships are the strongest and most sincere from early childhood or school. The strongest psychological connection arises between the girls, since they saw each other in different states. Together they experienced the first joys and losses, delights and disappointments. Friendships dating back to childhood allow friends to feel like one family, kindred spirits who again returned to the bright years of a pure child’s soul without double thoughts.

Differences from male friendship

Representatives of the fair sex perceive everything on an emotional level, while men prefer to communicate at the level of information exchange. Girls need conversations more, which seem empty and meaningless to guys. Men prefer actions that can correct the situation. Their speech resembles a clear description of events and is distinguished by brevity and conciseness. There are pauses between words and jokes are heard. If something exciting happens, men give this event a brief description and immediately begin to resolve issues.

The interaction of women is much more emotional: accompanied by laughter, tears, delight, indignation, an abundance of words and relative inaction. Girls prefer to build tactics; they plan future steps.

Psychologists have proven that a woman needs to speak a certain number of words during the day, and it does not matter to her who her interlocutor will be. She simply needs to speak out, and therefore turns to a representative of her sex, who also experiences a similar need.



Advantages and disadvantages

Do not forget about the differences in the characters of each individual; among people there are no absolutely identical in temperament and level of perception of reality. It is for this reason that sometimes numerous misunderstandings arise among girls that can cause harm. true friendship.



Advantages

Sometimes there are situations when you can’t be alone, but you just need to feel your friend’s dear and close shoulder nearby. Such circumstances are:

• betrayal of a beloved man;
• death of a loved one;
• troubles at work;
• betrayal;
• melancholy or depression;
• deception;
• financial difficulties;
• health problems.

In any of these cases, it is very important for someone to speak out, but men often simply do not understand the true scale of women's experiences. A friend who arrives at any time of the day will at least help with her presence. It is not always necessary to give advice; sometimes it is enough to let the person speak.

Women's friendship manifests itself not only in grief, but also in joy. Best friend will be the first to rejoice at the upcoming marriage, the birth of a child, a prestigious job, new purchase. There are many examples in which friendships between women last for decades. Then not only they, but also their families become friends.

Benefits of female friendship:

• the emotional background is leveled out;
• thoughts and feelings are put in order;
• a balance of hormonal activity is established;
• energy circulation occurs;
• girlfriends systematically approach the right decision problems;
• women have the opportunity to voice their worries and express their emotions;
• friends share beauty recipes;
• assistance in choosing clothes;
• resolving apartment design issues;
• young mothers share their experiences;
• are being decided psychological problems communication with men;
• physical assistance is provided (sad events or organization of holidays);
• enjoyable leisure time;
• walks in the open air;
• holding common family holidays.

Flaws

There are also many disadvantages of female friendship, since relationships between women are influenced by multiple factors. Everyone has different personalities, so differences in temperaments should be taken into account. If one friend is too intrusive and tries everything free time devote to endless conversations and annoying actions, the other girl will quickly get tired of such a relationship. Constant uninvited visits, calls at any time of the day with or without reason, intrusive offers of help will put your second friend in an awkward position. Similar situations would be the excessive openness of a friend who is ready to dwell in detail on the problems of her family and insist exclusively on the topic of her relationships with loved ones and relatives. Or the opposite position, when a friend is too immersed in her friend’s family affairs, always wants to be aware of what is happening and is offended when something is hidden from her.

At first everything looked like a harmonious relationship, then it became a burden. In order not to feel like a victim and not to take the situation to the extreme, when you simply don’t have enough strength, you should stop communicating as correctly as possible. If your friend doesn’t understand, you should find the courage and tell her openly that this relationship has become too burdensome and has outlived its usefulness. TO true friendship this is in no way relevant (perhaps it was once) and there is no point in continuing it.

The situation has nothing to do with female friendship when:

• one friend asserts herself at the expense of another;
• they use a friend only when they want to relax and show their “true face”;
• pursue moral or material gain;
• young mothers who have nothing in common except their children;
• a friend maintains the relationship until things get better for her personal life. When a man appears, he forgets about past friendship;
• girl communicates with less beautiful friend to look more attractive against her background.

The danger of female friendship

There are several hidden dangers that await even the most faithful and devoted friends. As a result of these cases, close people become their worst enemies.

Such situations include the following:

• two girls fall in love with the same guy;
• a friend takes her husband or lover away;
• one girl achieves success, and the second begins to envy her greatly;
• girlfriends occupy different social statuses, and over time this difference becomes too obvious.

Most strong relationships observed between friends who are at the same level of development, are relatively similar in appearance, have equal material levels and the same social status. If there are no special differences between the girls, they will not envy each other. Such friendship can last a very long time and will significantly help each of them in all life situations.