“People meet, people fall in love, get married.” There are the most different people and, being nothing to each other, they become two halves of one whole.

It happens that you meet people who are different not only in their inner worlds, but also in their country of residence, religion, and traditions.

Let's talk about Russian-Arab marriages. How do such couples meet, what are the difficulties in their relationship, how to understand a person with a different mentality?

In our country in different cities According to statistics, there are about 15 thousand people from Arab countries. And quite a few of them are married to Russian women.

Most often, such couples meet while studying at the same university, less often in a cafe or cinema, on the streets, at parties with mutual friends, or by chatting on the Internet. Russian women also meet Arabs while on vacation in Arab countries.

What is it about oriental boys that attract Russian girls? Usually Arabs have a bright, memorable appearance, are extremely polite, and create a very pleasant impression of themselves. They know how to look after a girl very beautifully, give expensive gifts, very attentive. And a woman, as you know, loves with her ears and eyes.

But what awaits such a couple after they realize that there is love between them? After all, there is so much between them... First of all, it is religion.

Most Arabs are Muslims, and many adhere to Islam quite strictly. Relatives and friends of a young man are often against a Russian bride, especially one of a different religion. A public opinion in the East plays an important role. There are couples whose marriage was never approved by their husband's parents. Such families often live on the territory of our country, the husband visits his homeland alone, and there are cases when he has another family there. That is, his parents, not approving the marriage with a Russian woman, forced their son to marry “their own” again. And since Islam allows a Muslim to have up to four wives, he lives in Russia with one wife, and a second one is waiting for him at home. Sometimes a Russian bride converts to Islam for the sake of her beloved. Arab relatives are more loyal to such people, especially if the girl has truly sincerely become a Muslim, studies her husband’s religion, performs the obligatory prayer, and dresses in accordance with Sharia norms. But, nevertheless, this is not the last difficulty in relationships.

Of course, in any marriage there are problems, people begin to live together, the habits of one may contradict the habits of another, people adapt to each other. And in a marriage with an Arab, all this is aggravated by the fact that from childhood he was raised on the following principle: a man is the head of the family, his word is law for his wife. And this cannot be eradicated. An Arab's wife must either accept this as a matter of course, or, most likely, the marriage will fall apart sooner or later. We have to step over ourselves, over the way we were raised, over our habits. But for the sake of love for your husband, anything is possible.

Difficulties also arise if the husband takes his wife to his homeland. Not every Russian woman will be able to settle down and fall in love with a foreign country. Some people gradually get used to it and live, while others simply run away or dream of escaping from their husband and all his Arab relatives, but remain married in a foreign land for fear that the husband will not give up the children.

It is a known fact that his family will have a great influence on the husband, so it is very important that the mother-in-law’s attitude towards the Russian daughter-in-law is not bad, much less hostile.

The support of a husband is very important, especially in the first year of a Russian wife’s life in a foreign country. Arabs, like many other eastern nations, often live in the same house with their parents so that the children can be cared for elderly parents. And it’s not easy for the daughter-in-law, of course, and it’s even harder for the foreign daughter-in-law.

If family life continues on the wife’s territory, then problems arise, for example, after the birth of children. A man from the East is most often a very attentive father. This, undoubtedly, is a big plus, but there are also some nuances that lead to quarrels in the family, for example on religious grounds, especially if the spouses belong to different faiths. Thus, there are often cases when a Christian wife would like to baptize a child, but a Muslim husband will undoubtedly be against it, because according to Islam, a child whose father is Muslim is also a Muslim and should be raised according to Islamic traditions. Surely it is the husband who will decide what the child’s name will be, how to raise him, how to dress him, and so on. Not every mother will unconditionally agree to entrust her husband with important aspects of raising her baby. Disagreements can be caused by the child’s clothing, feeding – when and what exactly to feed the baby, education issues and much more.

It happens that troubles arise due to holidays. Of course, many of us are used to celebrating birthdays, New Year, and in Arab countries not everyone celebrates this. There are only two major holidays in Islam, and both of them are religious. Many Muslims don't celebrate anything else. Many Arab husbands forbid Russian wives to celebrate non-Islamic events and teach their children to do so.

What is important in order to, after going through all the difficulties, maintain love and go through life hand in hand? Probably the most important thing is mutual respect, mutual assistance, and understanding. It is necessary to realize that an Arab man comes from a completely different environment, and it can also be difficult for him. But a husband and wife are still one whole, and this whole must be preserved, no matter how difficult it may be. And then love will not be broken in family life and all those warm and bright feelings for each other that were sparks at the very beginning of acquaintance will be preserved.

In my opinion, only the lazy have not heard about this.

"The Arabs beat their wives and do not allow them to leave the house"; “Arabs do not allow their wives to receive an education”; “Arabs take several wives”; "Arabs are dirty and smelly"; "all Arabs are terrorists"; "Arabs don't like their children"; "Arabs are crazy Islamic fanatics"; “all women in Arab countries are powerless, unfortunate creatures,” etc. and so on.
The list goes on and on.

Supporters of “protection of women's rights” are especially vehement in attacking the Gulf countries. In fact, in my opinion, the reason for such baseless arguments was largely due to the fact that women wear abaya and niqab (face covering). And no one can even imagine that a woman can wear this herself, at her own request, and even with great pleasure - what are you talking about! How is this possible? Give miniskirts and tops to oppressed Arab women!

Meanwhile, ask any resident of the Persian Gulf: if she were given a choice - to wear ordinary European clothes or an abaya? 99% will answer in favor of the second. At the same time, there will be no angry father/brother/husband nearby monitoring her answer.

I'll try to sort everything out. To debunk the myths, so to speak (PS. Saudi Arabia is a separate case and does not characterize ALL Arabs and ALL Gulf countries. Moreover, I am talking about men, and not about all kinds of hybrids a la Bedouin to the core with some distorted admixture of Islamic moral teachings - mutavva that is).

1. "Arabs beat their wives and do not allow them to leave the house"- oh yes, they’re just killing it. With sticks and to death. Well, okay, with fists, whatever! And to leave the house, you need a special permit certified by the Ministry of Internal Affairs. Yes. And everyone believed. Then they took out handkerchiefs, shed tears, felt sorry for the humiliated Arab women and went to argue and prove, foaming at the mouth, how cruel Islam is and how wild these Arab animals are!

But they will believe it! They will believe this much more readily than what actually exists. But the reality is this (I will give all the examples against the backdrop of the average Emirati family): if a husband tries to even once raise his hand against his wife, giving her a light slap in the face or, worse, beating her, then the outcome of such a willful act will be fraught with consequences for him. Firstly, the wife the very next day (if not the same!) will run to all her numerous male relatives screaming: “He beat me!!!” (even if it is - I repeat - a slight slap in the face). Secondly, his relatives will come back and openly insult him with the whole friendly crowd. And then, if the careless hubby does not correct himself - divorce and maiden name.

Another option is also possible. Instead of running around visiting relatives, the wife will show up at the nearest courthouse and stupidly ask for a divorce. And if there are bruises and abrasions on the body as evidence that he really beat her, then the divorce will be granted almost immediately and immediately.

Now answer me: how many times in Russia do husbands beat their wives, while their wives endure it, forgive everything and are afraid to go and complain to the court?

Oh yes. I almost forgot. The wife can leave the house whenever she wants, just like in the rest of the world (let’s not take backward, remote villages - in all countries there is a lot of such goods). Around 6-7 pm in Dubai you can see the following picture: a huge Infiniti (Range Rover, BMW X6 - whatever you like) drives up to the shopping mall, and local ladies come out with a sense of self-esteem and proud posture, sparkling with all sorts of colors of diamonds and adjusting their satin abayas as they went. Please note, only ladies, often unaccompanied by men.

2. "Arabs do not allow their wives to get an education"- complete nonsense. In Saudi Arabia, the percentage of uneducated people (without higher education) women make up about 10% of the total young population. I’m generally silent about the Emirates - Emirati women study in both the USA and England - in general, in the best universities in the world, or in the UAE itself - fortunately, there are more than enough universities here, and they provide a decent education. By the way, no matter how much I talked to Arabs, no one wants to marry a girl without a military license. Among my Emirati friends aged 18-20, there is not a single one who did not study at the university.

3. "Arabs take several wives"- let there be truth and let lies perish! :) so, let's take some dry statistics: in the Persian Gulf only 5% of men are married to two or more women. And about 30 million Arabs live in the Gulf, of which 15 million are men. In general, the percentage is negligible; even among sheikhs, few are married to two or more. And the current young generation, in general, has been saying since their youth that they want to marry only one. And preferably, out of love.

I remembered an incident that happened a couple of years ago in Abu Dhabi. One man married a second - well, everything was as it should be: he settled his wives at different ends of the city, each in a separate villa, each with a luxury car, and so on and so forth. But no! Everything is wrong for these Emirati women. One day, the first wife, crossing the road, saw her husband and his second passion. In a fit of rage, she attacked both of them right in the middle of the road, screaming, scratching and behaving extremely indecently :) naturally, the police didn’t let it go so easily - they took everyone to the police station. During the interrogation, the first wife was asked about the motives for her strange behavior, to which she replied: “He is unfair to me, he spends 4 days a week with her, and 3 with me.” The husband was taken aback and mumbled: “But there are 7 days in a week...” However, this did not pity the judge. After legal proceedings, the woman was found to be right and was given a divorce + a villa + a car and something from her ex-husband’s fortune.

Now tell me again: what percentage of men in Russia have mistresses? It happens, and more than one at a time... In any case, more than the notorious 5%. Would a Russian judge really begin to give his wife half of his husband’s property just because he spends more time, effort and money on his mistress than on his wife (and this happens all the time)?

4. "Arabs are dirty and smelly". No comments. I have never seen such cleanliness as in the UAE. As I wrote in a previous post, even the smallest stain is a reason to change clothes. In addition, the same gandura is not worn for two days in a row (the husband puts on a new one every day - freshly washed and ironed, and throws all the “old” ones in the laundry - “old” means “worn once”). Add also the fact that Muslims wash 5 times a day, and take a shower after each sexual contact with their wife - that is, every day. I'm not talking about their perfume... :)

5. "All Arabs are terrorists". And again, no comments. In my entire life in the UAE, I have never met a single Arab who supports terror. In general, they somehow don’t give a damn about all this, they sit lazily sipping coffee at Starbucks...:)
I only know that in Saudi Arabia there are such organizations at some universities, but again, this is such a minority and such a shame that it is not even customary to talk about these people.
The statement “all Arabs are terrorists” is at least an indicator of the speaker’s ignorance and lack of education.

6. "All women in Arab countries are powerless, unfortunate creatures"- yeah, and also "Arabs only rejoice at the birth of boys".
Oh, you should have seen how Arabs walk with their children in parks and shopping centers! How they cuddle and kiss their daughters, carry them in their arms and ride with them on children's rides!

I constantly observe the following picture: at the entrance to a store in a shopping center there is a man in a gandura, a child on his neck, a child in a stroller, a child on his side... While his wife, at the speed of light, sweeps away all possible and impossible clothes, bags, shoes, accessories, jewelry. It was here that I saw a clear example of genuine nepotism. For them, family is everything. They are not ashamed to go shopping or to a restaurant with their wife and children, they will not whine that “shopping is purely a woman’s business, why did I give in to you there?!” Families, couples, with and without children walk everywhere, holding hands, arm in arm - in general, they express their pleasure in every possible way that the whole family is together.

Wives are not oppressed by absolutely anything! On the contrary, during our traditional Friday women’s gatherings, my Emirati friends never cease to be amazed by our Russian women - both at home cooking, washing, cleaning (while all Emirati women have housekeepers, and more than one), and taking care of the children constantly watch (and Emirati women don’t have any problems even with children - they have nannies), and the husband will come home dissatisfied, tired, and still force him to work (not a single Arab would think of telling his wife: “Eh, what do you mean to me?” sat on your neck? So go and earn money yourself!"). I’m not at all encouraging everyone to have housekeepers and nannies - rather, this only serves as a response to the hackneyed stereotype about the Muslim wife;)
In general, they feel sorry for advanced and free European women.

By the way, here is a small selection of pictures on the topic "Cruelty and heartlessness of Arab men"(hehe):

And "The lack of rights and oppression of Arab women".

1. Oppressed arab woman driving a Mercedes:

2. ...and also Porsche...


3. ...and Range Rover...

4. ...and Porsche again...


5. ...and Audi...

6....and again Mercedes (well, what can you do, Mercedes is the favorite brand of cars of unfortunate downtrodden Arab women)...
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It's not just friendliness that distinguishes Arab men. In many of their actions they behave carelessly, do not worry about the future and are almost always in good mood. They are extremely inventive in their actions, find non-standard and interesting solutions, and entrepreneurship in most situations plays to their advantage. In Arab society, brave and enterprising people are welcomed, and therefore Arabs are quite rare to be modest.

Distinctive feature The Arab nation is a love of work and the ability to do one’s business for a long time. All people, whether a simple worker or a high-ranking official or businessman, work every day for their own benefit, although they rarely receive pleasure from their activities. The thing is that many generations of Arabs worked hard to get out of poverty and improve their lives, so work for them became the responsibility of every person. The ability and need to work made the Arabs a hardy and unpretentious nation. The understanding of the need to work hard, while being patient, self-confident and persistent, has been ingrained in the minds of Arabs.

Arabs like to spend their time outside of work beautifully. They demonstrate their love of life and love for beauty when communicating with loved ones and friends. In general, Arabs are considered peace-loving; they do not often provoke scandals and quarrels, usually striving for the exchange of positive emotions and communication. They have good feeling humor, most of them are optimists and know how to joke sharply.

When communicating with other people, Arab men special meaning give the conversation style of the interlocutor. They look at how the interlocutor selects words, constructs sentences, and decorates his speech. beautiful sayings and after that they draw conclusions about the person. The reason is the peculiarity of the Arabic language: it is very rich and involves the use of metaphors, hyperbolic statements, and verbiage. If the task is to convince an Arab man of something or you want to please him and be remembered, then you should monitor the correctness of your speech and its brightness. Arabs turn it off logical thinking when he hears beautiful words.

The vast majority of Arabs are dominated by emotionality. They react very violently to actions and words, trying to show their own emotions. They can be harsh and impulsive, which makes this nation very temperamental. It is difficult for them to restrain their emotions, and therefore the impulse of feelings often takes precedence over calm. The life of a real Arab is planned by the laws of the holy scripture of Muslims - the Koran. Religion plays a big role in the life of Arabs. The ideal behavior of an Arab is submissive with repentance for his sins.

Worship and unquestioning obedience to God are highly encouraged. From the very first days of life, children learn from their parents that it is important to be an obedient believer and show obedience, humility, and accept with honor all the difficulties that arise. Arabs have patience and endurance in their blood. They know how to adapt, they are very moral strong people. What's interesting is that they distinctive feature is superstition. They believe in predictions and various prejudices, and are very attentive to signs. This belief in omens and predictions is passed down from generation to generation and stimulates the Arabs to develop uncertainty about the future, suspicion and wariness.

In relationships between people great importance It has social status. People with power and wealth can afford to be arrogant towards those around them and even sometimes rude. Display of aggression and physical strength- This is a common occurrence among people with high incomes. People at low levels of society behave submissively and calmly accept the blows of fate, as this is ordered in the Koran. It is customary to approach influential and wealthy people with respect and honor.

"Generators unusual ideas", "masters of the family nest" and "desperate friends" - this is all about them, the Arabs. They are also spoiled, boastful and unpredictable. Personal experience girls, but not wives.

Oksana L. has been dating a resident of Jordan for four years, who came to Kyiv to study and earn money, and tells how she and her friend manage to combine such different views of the East and West.

About friendship and personal boundaries
We always have guests at our house. At any moment, a friend or just an acquaintance can call and come to our home in the middle of the night. Naturally, as a woman, I need to set the table and make sure everyone is fed and happy. Sometimes the house resembles some kind of Arab camp, and not a family nest.

If a friend needs help, you need to rush to him in the middle of the night. Arabs are always ready to help out a friend, come where they need to, pick them up, lend money.

They are not jealous of friends. My friend is very jealous, but this only applies to our Slavic guys and men, although I don’t give a reason. He trusts his own people. In any case, his friends, understanding who we are to each other, never allowed themselves even harmless flirting.

About work
They prefer conversations to business - long conversations over hookahs. These are real philosophers who are ready to reason and plan for hours. Although this time could be spent on constructive actions rather than chatter, most of which will be forgotten the next day. Eastern men have this problem: their conversations often diverge from their actions. They promise a lot, and they themselves sincerely believe in what they say. Plans can change dramatically, or mood, or something else, and promises will remain just words.

Arab men need to be encouraged - this is how they become inspired and are ready to move mountains for the sake of their family. This applies, in particular, to work. It is important for them to feel that a woman believes in their strengths and capabilities.

Generators of unusual ideas. In the four years since I’ve known my man, he’s started all sorts of businesses. Cafe, transportation of dogs and birds from Ukraine, which are in demand in his homeland in Jordan, processing of semi-precious stones, etc. But he did not bring any ideas to completion. I didn’t initially calculate the risks, I acted based on momentary desires, passion and emotions.

Many people do not value their parents' money. Young people live and have fun at the expense of their parents and do not know the value of money earned not by their own labor.

Attitude towards women
Most Arabs are spoiled by their mother's attention, love care and are often selfish. They like to surround themselves with everything beautiful and are avid fashionistas. They love to dress up: beautiful clothes, shoes, an abundance of rings and bracelets. Favorite clients of barbershops: stylish beard, gelled hair, expensive perfumes.

They love to educate, and if they fail, they can use force. They put pressure on me morally. Very hot-tempered. Any little thing can set them off. At the same time, their woman should admire them.

They love to brag about their woman to their friends - they tell them what a housewife she is, caring and a jack of all trades. It is important for them that others admire their woman, and therefore automatically admire them.

It is difficult to offer our men to live together - they are afraid for their freedom. Arab men, on the contrary, want the girl they like to be constantly in their sight. At home, nearby, close by. They are ready to protect and care for her, although they demand a lot in return.

Very generous. If possible, they give the woman gifts, they like broad gestures, and are not at all stingy.

They value independence in our women, the fact that a woman can take care of herself, earn money and not depend on a man as much as possible. In his homeland, women mostly stay at home and do housework.

There is a minus. Monogamy is not for Eastern men. How many times have I seen how families arab men They're after our girls. When my wife calls, they hang up or don’t pick up. And when they call back, they sing like a nightingale, as they love, and exquisitely lie about why they couldn’t answer. Treason is not considered as such for them. This is the norm in the life of an Eastern man.

About everyday life
My friend definitely won’t eat borscht for three days in a row, although he really loves my borscht. Arab men are very demanding and capricious in everyday life, like children, and are often dependent. If we talk about my man, he can clean and cook even better than me. But it is important for him to see that they care about him and do something for him.

I’m used to Russian cuisine, but my love for hummus and flatbreads remains unchanged.

Loves cleanliness, but not to the point of fanaticism. She understands that we both work a lot and come home very late, so we don’t always have the physical strength to clean and cook at night.

About children and family
My man is ready to coddle with every child, but I’m not sure that he will get up in the middle of the night for his own. This is the wife's responsibility. And the man pampers his child and pays attention to him during short games. All other delights of education fall on the shoulders of the woman.

When married to a Christian, there is no choice in what religion they choose. joint child- he is a priori born a Muslim. Especially if we are talking about a boy.

My man’s parents are wealthy and ready to support him, but he, having matured, when the youthful frenzy had passed and partying with friends was no longer a priority, wanted to prove to his family that he could get on his own feet.

About religion
I refused to convert to Islam, realizing that I would not be able to wear closed clothes, honor Muslim traditions and be in a “golden cage” at home. He didn’t swear, he accepted my choice. But it is very important for him that his woman shares her religion with him and his legal wife, in any case, must convert to Islam or be a Muslim initially.

Arabs know the Koran from an early age. They read it like mantras. But my man openly admits that, living among Russians and Ukrainians, he leads an anti-Muslim lifestyle.

His mother, when she came to visit us, brought a hijab as a gift with the hint that I should accept their religion since I live with her son.

A negative attitude towards alcohol remains, despite the love for discos (already in the past) and hookah smoking (this is part of traditions). He doesn't respect it when a woman drinks, even in company.

About future
After living with an Arab man, it’s strange to see how our women treat their Russian husbands. It’s crazy to see the disrespectful attitude and desire to be in charge at times. My views on what a woman should be like in a relationship with any man have changed.

I don’t know where this relationship will lead - Russian girls are more freedom-loving, ambitious and active. I wouldn’t like to be completely dependent on my husband.

But Arab men are like sweet nectar. You can’t get drunk, but even when you drink, it becomes too cloying that you want plain water. But after nectar it seems tasteless. I’m like a tightrope walker halfway: I can’t go back, but the unknown lies ahead...