If a woman says: “I love you!”, then most likely she really loves. With men, it's different. Confessing their love to the fair sex, they can be completely sincere - and at the same time, their feeling may have nothing to do with that sung in novels ...

So, what reasons most often push the stronger sex to love confessions?

Reason one. Desire for sex

You can be outraged all you want, but it's true. Most men see nothing wrong with saying "I love you!" and get rewarded for it. They treat it like a kind of ritual. It’s just that under the phrase about love, voluptuaries mean: “I want you!” Or rather - "I love your body!" So no cheating: there is love. Just not as sublime as you dreamed of.

Sometimes in such a situation it seems to a man that he really loves. And only if it comes real love, finally, sees the difference, realizing that previously there was only sexual attraction ...

The second reason. Because that's how it's supposed to be

Many women have a habit of asking, sometimes in their most intimate moments, "Do you love me?" It’s much easier to answer in the affirmative than to explain why you don’t love her, and yet you are with her ... Well, it’s somehow uncomfortable: since you are together, it means that he must love you ... It’s so accepted.

Reason three. Sympathy

He is pleased to be with you, he likes the way you look, talk, and in general he is comfortable with you ... Why not? After all, it's true! He loves you - as a friend, or a sister, or just loved one. He can have thirty such “relatives”, no less. And you are one of them. And again - he does not deceive! He really loves you - like all of them.

Reason four. Love

In vain do we scold the Don Juan. The moment they confess their love to a woman, they really love her. The only trouble is that falling in love can pass in one day. That is, when a man confesses his love to you, he is absolutely honest with you. But as soon as he meets another more or less attractive person, he immediately forgets about his “feeling” and switches to her. Well, what can you do if you are not the only one who is able to light a fire of passion in him? He has such a specialty!

And now - how to understand if a man really loves you, or just wants, or feels sympathy, or is in love?

True love is timid. It is associated with a special state of mind. In this state, a man can generally strive for solitude and even avoid the object of his feelings ... It takes time for this feeling to “ripen”. Therefore, if your chosen one is in a hurry to make a confession a week after they met, then be critical of his words.

Psychologists also advise to be wary if a man repeats words about love too often. Better watch his behavior. If a man literally “undresses” you with his eyes, then you are most likely interested in him exclusively in sexual terms. That is, maybe he loves, but only your body. If he looks around and only occasionally at you, then he treats you quite evenly, maybe with sympathy, but he is unlikely to have a deep feeling for you ... But if he constantly strives to look into your eyes, then there is a chance that at least he is in love.

A downcast look in your presence can also testify to: a man is afraid to look at you, because he is afraid of being rejected by his “sun”. But still, this is not an obligatory sign of love, since there are men who are simply shy of women or are not interested in them at all.

Love tends to be self-sacrificing. Therefore, if your boyfriend takes the last hundred out of his purse to treat you to ice cream, or goes to the other end of the city to walk you home, then he is at least seriously interested in you. If he says: “Sorry, I don’t have much money left, maybe we’ll take a walk like that?” or asks: “It’s already late, maybe you’ll get there yourself?” - then let's face it: there is no smell of feelings here.

A man who simply likes you, or who meets you solely for the sake of sex, can easily postpone your next meeting in order to go with friends to. A man who truly loves will never prefer friends to a date with his beloved.

But do not draw premature conclusions. Love at first sight is not for everyone. It is possible that your relationship will begin with friendship or mutual sympathy. Or even sex. But over time, they can grow into something more. And the phrase “I love you”, uttered, say, six months after the start of a relationship, already deserves much more trust than if a man said it on a second or third date or during the first intimate meeting. During this period, feelings may well “take place”. unmistakable sign true love: uttering a confession, a man is always a little embarrassed.

How often do you confess your love? Once a day, once a month, once a year? If you a common person, do not have a herd of fans / admirers behind you who every minute tell you about their love and are not a Hollywood star, then you definitely should know what exactly those who love their revelation want to hear.
People, by nature, are vulnerable and subtle creatures. Therefore, your: “Yes, I don’t give a damn who loves whom there,” can completely kill all human feelings in them. If you are recognized in love, truly recognized, sincerely, without hypocrisy, and for some reason you cannot reciprocate, then, be so kind, gather all the damn tenderness, restraint and understanding in yourself, put on a suitable mask and answer so that this selfless one does not even have the thought of going to hang himself, drown himself or open his veins. And most importantly, never, hear, never be silent in response to this "I love you." Do you know what silence is? This is when there, inside, everything breaks in half, pulls out the heart, and then so ruthlessly inserts it back, when angina pectoris, heart attack, cardiac asthma five times a day. It's like today you have to say whether you will live tomorrow. Silence is like sharp knife, driven to the very handle. Do not be silent, I beg you, do not be silent.
Tell the ones you don't like that you are not for them, that they are too good for you, that you are already in love, but say it in a way that does not hurt. Say that you really appreciate their love, but you can’t reciprocate, and it’s not about them at all, it’s about you. Say that you are confused now, and when you figure it out, you will know for sure whether your feelings are mutual. Speak up. Just speak sincerely and truthfully.
And what to say to your loved ones, your heart will certainly tell you. Just don’t answer with these banal phrases: “I love you too”, “Yeah, I love you too”. Get creative. Say that you are madly in love, write it on paper and hang it on the door, whisper it in your ear, say it silently, with your lips, just kiss and hold it tightly to you.
Oh yes, men, for God's sake, remember once and for all, if a woman confesses her love to you - appreciate it and in no case ignore it. You can’t even imagine so much willpower, courage and courage she needed for this. She stepped on pride, stepped over all principles and suppressed all contradictions in herself. Believe me, she will wait 24 hours a day for your answer, and mentally curse herself for confessing.
Do not think that by your silence you make her better, protect her. You are wrong! You give her such pain and torture that it would be better if you hit her several times.
Do not lead to sin, otherwise she will hate and curse you all her conscious life (while not stopping loving for a minute) because you did not make her happy. You will kill her faith in herself, faith in love and in the ideal man. And that's just one silence...
Remember, it costs nothing to answer a declaration of love, but your answer will fill someone's soul with happiness!
Do not hurt those who live by you, who live in you, who love you and are not afraid to admit it!

In life, situations often occur that cause confusion, bewilderment, and stupor. Sometimes you don’t even know what to answer some questions and words. It can be difficult to find the right words in tragic cases when someone is sad. Many are completely lost and cannot think of anything if they miss school or work. Girls are embarrassed, blush and even turn green when a guy confesses his love, and the lady herself does not know whether she is in love or not.

Below we will try to show you the answers that will help you get out of the situation in difficult situations, without saying anything superfluous. And although, perhaps, you will still experience confusion, embarrassment, embarrassment, correct and appropriate statements will not let you lose your face.

So, let's start with this item on our list -

What to say if you confessed your love?

There are 2 options here, if the feelings are mutual, then you can also say about your feelings, sympathies and everyone will be happy. The second option assumes that one person from the pair does not experience reciprocal feelings, and he needs to respond to the confession. Naturally, it is better to tell the truth about your feelings and not give hope if you think that nothing can happen between you. It is better to answer the confession gently in order to injure the person in love as little as possible. Answer options:

• I'm sorry, but I can not answer you in return;
• you are like a friend / girlfriend / brother to me, etc.;
• answer that you do not experience the same feelings, and explain the reasons;
• offer to remain friends and not count on more;
• laugh it off by saying, for example: “And I like to eat sweets and sleep,” but this is not the most the best option, which can leave an unpleasant aftertaste in the soul of the confessed;
• just keep silent, pretending not to hear;
• show your acting skills: "God, Sashenka, why do you need someone like me? You will find 100 times better.” Such a theatrical trick will help divert attention from the main thing, translate the topic;
• I love another / another, I'm sorry;
• it is very pleasant, but so unexpected, it takes me time to sort myself out;

and some other options that people use when responding to a confession, but they are not the best, and can hurt a person even more:

• Thank you;
• I know and smile;
• Sorry;
• and I love myself;
• wait, I'm not ready yet to tell you the same;
• Who would doubt that?
• Wow, that's cool, I'm crying now.

I hope, nevertheless, that your feelings will be mutual, and you will be answered with the same long-awaited declaration of love. But do not despair if your feelings are not mutual, life does not end there. All love and happiness!

The main reason that people are in no hurry to confess their love, especially when they are not sure of reciprocal feelings, is the fear that the object of adoration may laugh at the confession.

We fear that a failed attempt will "destroy" us. The cause of fears, as a rule, is rooted in childhood or adolescence when people are more liberated in communication and more freely share their emotions. However, this also makes them the most vulnerable. The teenager confided in someone, but he was not understood, or even worse, fenced off, thus causing psychological trauma. This bitter experience is transferred, alas, in adult life. People become much more careful in expressing emotions. Most of us prefer not to talk about our feelings, but to keep them in ourselves, - psychologist Polina Bochkareva explains the situation.

Also, if we are talking about men, then their low emotionality may be associated with upbringing. Boys are most often told: “Do not roar”, “Do not complain”, “Be patient”. Representatives of the stronger sex are taught from childhood to suppress emotions. Many learn the lesson so well that in the future they begin to be accused of insensitivity.

Looks will not replace words

On the other hand, closeness and isolation are bad companions of relationships. Sometimes to dot the i. This is especially true of women's confessions. Young ladies often endow men with supernatural powers and believe that men should guess that they are loved "by their smiles and looks." Nothing like that, psychologists say. Representatives strong half of humanity can invest in “shooting eyes” and treating homemade cakes with a completely different meaning, different from yours. A man may think that you are just flirting with him or that you have decided to feed him in a friendly way. And do not take reciprocal steps towards rapprochement. And the lady perceives this inaction as a sign that the man is not at all interested.

Still, it’s better to take risks and openly declare your feelings in order to clarify the situation, advises Polina Bochkareva.

Of course, it is impossible to talk about some "rules of recognition" in love. However, there are some general tips. For example, when confessing feelings, do not laugh. I understand that this may be a kind of defensive reaction, but this way you ruin the whole thing. The person you are trying to tell is perhaps the most important words in life, just decide that you are joking. Second: try to speak confidentially and softly in order to win over the interlocutor and assure him of the seriousness of his intentions. Thirdly, - advice mainly for girls - do not try to "prepare" a man for a conversation with the phrase "I need to have a serious talk with you." Young people are afraid of these words more than anything in the world, - the psychologist explains.

Just do not offer to remain friends!

It is also necessary to be able to react to recognition correctly. Otherwise, you may hurt the confessor's feelings. Ideally, of course, that you, burning with reciprocal passion, inform your admirer (admirer) about this. Although, psychologists say, this is also not easy to do, because completely different fears “turn on”: “What if we don’t succeed”, “We really suit each other or it just seems”, etc.

If you don’t feel reciprocal feelings, you need to thank the person for the recognition - after all, for modern Homo sapiens he accomplished almost a feat - to admit that you cannot reciprocate him. Rejection is, of course, difficult to survive, but at least it will bring clarity to the situation. A person will not entertain himself with empty hopes, but will try to turn his attention to someone else.

For God's sake, don't suggest "stay friends." This phrase is not only beaten, but because it went, it also offends the feelings of the one who opened his heart to you. According to the psychologist, such an offer is still a refusal, but veiled.

People often resort to this "unique" phrase simply because they don't know how to say "no". This is a problem for many. You have to learn to refuse. So you make life easier for yourself and others.

And finally, the third scenario. You really can’t figure out your feelings and don’t understand how much you like the person who just confessed your love. Then you should ask for time to think. At the same time, it’s better not to delay thinking - a day, a maximum of two, after which the very first to return to the conversation and report your decision. If you do not, then you will actually turn on the "dynamo".

The worst thing is when the question remains open, and then you have to guess and suffer from uncertainty, - emphasizes Polina Bochkareva.

LOVE DECLARATION:

INSTRUCTIONSBY APPLICATION

Love, as you know, is a multifaceted feeling. For some, bright and joyful, for others - unexpected and painful. You think it's time to let your loved one know how you feel. But it's so hard!

So let's first understand the "rules of conduct in love." After all, sometimes it happens that well, just hands down: who will tell, who will tell you how to do it right?

HOW TO RESPOND TO LOVE CONFESSIONS?

Unfortunately, we are somehow not used to being recognized in love. And we are lost, not knowing how to answer. As a rule, girls either “quickly” reciprocate (until he changes his mind), or react completely inadequately (send away, for example). Who, tell me, would risk his health and confess his love to such a young lady?

But to say “yes”, believing that this one will also come down “without fish”, is not the best option. You run the risk of getting together with an unloved, and even unpleasant type. And a sharp “no”, as a rule, is thrown by girls who are not deprived of male attention. Or weighed down by inflated self-esteem.

Responding to a confession, do not prevaricate. It is unlikely that it will fall like snow on the head in the summer. Surely you have already noticed the increased attention on his part and made the appropriate conclusions. And now try not to fool him, but to answer sincerely.

SHOULD ANSWER WITH AGREE IF THE FEELING IS MUTUAL?

The trouble is that the answer to a confession in the spirit of “a-I-how-love-you!” for some reason, it involves a joint visit to the registry office (or bed). But this is not at all necessary, especially if one of the two is not ready for this. After all, a declaration of love is an expression of affection, a desire to be together more often. Only and everything!

Therefore, after making sure that your feelings are mutual, start communicating more actively, get to know each other better and look for something that can unite you (except your feelings, of course): common activities, hobbies. Find mutual friends. And if after some time your feelings cool down, then this should be taken calmly. But you didn't make any stupid mistakes.

WHAT IS A LOVE DECLARATION OBLIGING?

First of all, it does not mean at all that you have received the right to dispose of your Romeo. You've just been given the opportunity to communicate more closely, that's all. And there should be no obligations on your part (and on his side too). You should not talk at all corners about the fact that you confessed your love. This will characterize you as a dishonorable and unreliable person,

It happens that, having opened up, a young man begins to demand bestowal. Like, now you have to walk with me, be gentle, attentive, etc. It doesn't look like love at all - it looks more like self-sacrifice. The main thing here is to remember that you are not obliged to share his feelings or show yours in an unnatural way for you!

WHAT TO DO IF THE PROOF OF LOVE IS REQUIRED?

Many young people know perfectly well when to put pressure on weak spots. If you have nothing to keep the guy, except for sex, come on, go ahead. Just don't be surprised if he doesn't call again after that.

Three reasons not to give in to him if you don't feel like it:

This is the real blackmail! (Haven’t you understood this yet?) Like, then I’ll go to another, more accommodating ...

For many boys, sex is the pinnacle of human relationships! Only after he climbs it is there nothing more to strive for. He will just lose interest in you.

Why should you prove your love to him? If you want - believe, but if you want - no! If he is so selfish and thinks only about what he wants, think - do you need this blackmailer?

HOW TO REACT IF YOU DON'T LOVE?

Indeed, it is very difficult to refuse and not offend a person in love. And here many manage to deceive both themselves and him. Even if they mean “no”, they answer “yes” - not because of fear of offending, but for fear of losing their only admirer.

If you do not want to listen to a stream of praises addressed to you or watch a gloomy statue in the face of a rejected admirer, be understanding and honest. Be sure to thank for the manifestation of feelings - and sincerely, without mocking. And don't make yourself a bitch - it's better to answer "not yet" than to blurt out a categorical "no way!". Explain that you do not deny him communication, but you cannot return his feelings.

By the way, there are many examples when feelings arose after a considerable time after a declaration of love! So don't push your lover away. Who knows, maybe you will feel something for him after a while.