As you know, she will appear unexpectedly. And definitely at the wrong time: too early or in the middle of exams. And it will turn a hater of literature lessons into a poet, and a “nerd” into a slob. Moreover, it is precisely this that is a frequent cause of conflict between fathers and children. But there’s no escape from it—it will inevitably overtake every schoolchild. How should parents behave in this case?

The first time I fell in love was in 2nd grade. He always wore a bright green shirt and I liked him so much that one day I hit him over the head with all my might with a literature book. The book was thick, he even swayed, but stood firm. Today, years later, I think with horror about the possible consequences. And (just in case!) forgive me, Alyosha!

Rehearsal of feelings

“Having fallen in love for the first time, elementary school students still do not know how to show their feelings,” experienced school psychologist Natalya Katsevich easily puts everything into perspective in such stories.

- So it turns out somehow clumsy. They push me, they pull my pigtails, they throw stupid text messages at me. And this is not love yet, but just... sympathy. Moreover, it was formed for reasons incomprehensible to adults: “Why do you like Vasya?” - “He is the tallest!”

Sometimes in elementary school, children fall in love with the teacher, and not only boys, but also girls. And they explain their feelings like this: “She’s kind, she never gave me a bad mark. She took my hand on a walk.” That is, in essence, they treat the teacher as a mother.

By the 5th grade, children's self-esteem, as a rule, sharply declines. And at the same time, they begin to pay a lot of attention to who wears what. And in general “image”. Therefore, at this age, the reasons for falling in love turn out to be no less strange than among children.

For example, to the question “Why do you like him?” you can hear: “His cell phone is cool!”

And if the object of adoration does not reciprocate, the admirer begins to bully him mercilessly.

“Once,” recalls Natalya Feliksovna, “we had a case in the 5th grade - a girl turned all her classmates against the boy who rejected her. This is where, indeed, “from love to hate there is one step”!

But you need to understand: in childhood, the feeling of hatred plays a protective, protective role, preventing the growing child from having negative experiences that can affect his entire future life.

Does your child suffer from unrequited love? Advise him to keep a diary! By expressing his feelings on paper, a teenager develops a sense of reflection. That is, the ability to understand what exactly is happening to him,” says educational psychologist Lyudmila Sitnikova. “The main thing is that he is sure that no one outside (including parents) will ever look at these records.

"Let's remain friends..."

“Svetka got it - she clings endlessly, bullies me,” sixth-grader Yegor complains to his mother, returning from school.

“This means that mom should explain to Yegor that Svetka simply fell in love with him,” advises educational psychologist Lyudmila Nikolaevna Sitnikova. “And you need to tell your son how to behave in this situation.”

Moreover, there are several response options. For example, you can not react to the bully Svetka and keep your distance. Sometimes such coldness quickly cools feelings.

Or we can talk. And without judgment, simply stating the facts: “When you constantly push me in the side, it irritates me terribly. And I would like you to stay away from me.”

Or: “I wish we were friends.”

The main thing is that you need to voice exactly what you really want.

In general, first love is a useful thing. Children train to build relationships with the people around them: they quarrel, make peace, learn to accept others as they are.

Before the start

Sixth-grader Shurochka’s room is hung with photographs of the pop idol. She has already bought all his CDs. And the only desired birthday gift was 4,000 rubles - to buy a ticket to the idol’s concert.

Mom is confused, dad is furious: “You need to study, not pray to fools!”

- Cool down, parents! - calls for sexologist, candidate of medical sciences Artem Tolokonnikov. — The fact is that the feeling of love develops in stages. And the first of them is platonic love. That is, passion for the image (of which this story serves as a clear example). Moms and dads must understand: without this stage, it is impossible to further develop normal relationships between a man and a woman. So encourage platonic hobbies. Otherwise, without finishing playing them, adult women “get stuck” at the stage of infatuation with the image. Hence many years of falling in love with married men, etc.

Captivated by passions

Eighth-grader Yulia had a friend Tanya who was dating Artem. But Yulia also liked Artem. Who once liked Julia. And now he walks with her. And Tanya, shocked by the betrayal of her friend and lover, sobs into her pillow and repeats: “I’m unhappy. I can’t do anything. I don’t want to live!”

“Parents whose children are suffering from unrequited feelings sometimes come to see us,” says Alexander Chizhov, director of the Center for Psychological, Medical and Social Support of the Education Department of the North-Western District of the capital. - And each case is individual. So it would be unprofessional to give general recommendations behind the scenes. But one piece of advice, perhaps, suits everyone: you need to explain to your child that first love is not necessarily for life. And that you should not idealize your lover. But how to explain this? In my opinion, you just need to remember your personal experience. And tell your child about it. At the same time, remember the state in which he now finds himself.

After all, the problem of unrequited love is the problem of loneliness. Therefore, all your child needs now is empathy and compassion. In this “co” is the main thing. The child must understand that you are together in an important and difficult situation for him. Moreover, you understand his feelings - after all, you also have a similar experience. And it is precisely the fact that you, alive and well, now telling him about it, that demonstrates best of all: this can be survived.

In general, first love is a serious test of the strength of the parent-child relationship. Unfortunately, sometimes dads and moms themselves put an end to these relationships, boring them: “You need to learn, not fall in love!” Having not found understanding in the family, the child, of course, will go looking for it on the side. And it is not known where he will find it! So, first of all, try to adapt to changes in your son or daughter's behavior.

"Who are you messing with?!"

A rumor spread around the school: sixth-grader Lenya set fire to the front door to the apartment of the main beauty of Natasha’s class. And now the girl’s parents are arguing in the director’s office. Natasha herself got it from them: “I got involved with a hooligan!”

“There is an example of blocked excitation,” comments Alexander Chizhov. “He fell in love, she didn’t respond, and the guy turned to aggression. How to resolve this situation competently?

Of course, hooliganism must be punished. In this case, the parents are responsible for their son. They will pay a fine, and at the same time receive information that they need to be more attentive to their child.

Remember: a worthy chosen one is one who has high self-esteem.

The child must be confident in himself, then he will not assert himself at the expense of others. So constantly tell your child how beautiful, smart, witty, strong, etc. he is. The most important thing is to praise from the heart.

Don't like your daughter's or son's choice? Again, refrain from criticism! Try to respect your child as an individual. And therefore, respect his opinions and feelings. Moreover, the more you protest, the greater the desire of your growing child to do the opposite.

Adored teacher

“I will not complete your task until I receive an answer to the question: “What are you, so beautiful, doing in an ordinary school like ours?”

Ever since sixth-grader Nikita fell in love with his computer science teacher, remarks like his from the spot are not uncommon. And yet, left alone with her, he seriously declares: “I will marry you!” What should a teacher do in such a situation?

“Goodwill and a sense of humor will be your salvation,” says psychologist Lyudmila Sitnikova. - Just don’t confuse humor with ridicule! Teachers on every corner don’t talk about such “fans.” If, of course, they meet professional requirements. And only pedagogical talent allows one to turn a teacher’s passion into a passion for the subject.

Cold heart

Recently, educational psychologist Lyudmila Sitnikova, at the request of the Schoolchildren's Health magazine, conducted a survey in one of the Moscow schools. And I found out: approximately every tenth high school student has never fallen in love!

According to psychologists, we are talking about children who are simply afraid to open up to the world and take responsibility for another person. And all this is evidence of internal problems and pressures. Alternatively, we are dealing with a manifestation of narcissism. Such individuals, by the way, in personal terms are difficult people who have difficulty integrating into society.

What is first love? Sincere and exciting feelings caused by first love remain in memory forever.

The emotions experienced cannot be forgotten even years later, because they are the invaluable experience that determines the essence of subsequent relationships. Analysis of the situation helps to part with the past in a timely manner and take into account its sometimes difficult lessons.

How does a feeling arise?

They always come unexpectedly, painting the world in fairy-tale tones. The rustling of dull rain in the autumn leaves seems like an enthusiastic melody, and a rainbow after a July shower seems like a sign of eternal mutual love.

A person can experience these incredible emotions for the first time at very different ages:

What it is

We are talking about the brightest and very strong feeling that visited a person for the first time. It gives rise to an irresistible desire to constantly be close to your loved one, to look into his eyes, to receive similar attention and warmth in return.

Unfortunately, first love is not always happy or something that happens once and for a lifetime. With this option for the development of relationships, it is important not only to preserve exciting emotions in the soul, but also to learn to live on after separation.

The habit of immersing yourself in the past will deprive you of the opportunity to get to know your no less bright future.

Why you shouldn't be afraid

Fear of emerging feelings can be caused by a variety of reasons:

And yet you shouldn’t be afraid of first love. First, you need to understand a simple truth: the search for the ideal person is unlikely to give a positive result, because “standard” people do not exist.

At the same time, all life consists of an eternal search for compromises. And if you master this wisdom in practice, the problems will disappear on their own.

You should not look for the root cause of your romantic failures in other people. Sometimes it is defeats that teach fateful lessons.

If you are unable to cope with your fear on your own, consult a psychologist. Correctly selected training by a specialist will help overcome the emotional barrier.

First love - difficulties

Because of the fear of rejection and being ridiculed by peers, it is very difficult for a teenager to admit his feelings. At a young age, the psyche is just being formed. The process occurs against the backdrop of self-doubt and a large number of complexes.

Difficulties in first love can cause inappropriate behavior or even thoughts of suicide. To lend a helping hand during such a period, parents must build a trusting relationship with their children in advance.

Only then will they be able to help resolve the problems of the first romantic experience. Conversations about love with consideration of various situations are precisely the form that will allow you to choose an acceptable line of behavior.

Is this with us forever?

There are cases when the first romantic feelings flare up already in adolescence and become for a person the love of his life.

However, most often the first experience lasts no longer than one to two years, leaving behind a lot of exciting memories. That is, it is important to understand that the first hobby does not come forever, and you should not console yourself with false hopes.

Will feelings flare up in a few years?

From time to time this question arises for many people. Indeed, a chance meeting with your first love can make your heart beat faster. But do old feelings have a chance to flare up with their former strength?

It is difficult to answer unequivocally, because each story is unique in its own way. And yet, most often, childhood or youthful love remains forever in the past.

Experienced emotions warm the soul even after many years, but they hardly have a chance to be repeated in reality.

What to do if parents are against it

Not approving of the child's choice, parents sometimes give a harsh ultimatum: either we, or your love. In such cases, going to the extreme of declaring them your enemies or running away from home is definitely not worth it.

At a minimum, you need to listen to their arguments. Parents assess the situation pragmatically and may have realized that your partner’s love is not as selfless and bright as you think.

You need to talk to your loved ones, explaining to them how important these feelings are to you, and, if necessary, try again.

There are no hopeless situations. Sooner or later, relatives will be able to understand that, despite all the complexity of the relationship, such an experience will benefit you.

How to forget your first love

There are times when first love is not only possible, but also necessary to forget. For example, you dote on a young man, but he simply uses you. You need to gather your willpower and, despite your strong attachment, just leave.

From such a relationship you will only get pain and disappointment. Selfish natures change with difficulty, so you should not harbor the hope that tomorrow your loved one will become different.

Video: unhappy love - first love must be unhappy love

But what to do in a situation where, even several years after separation, love remains in the heart, interfering with new relationships?

She definitely needs to be released. Leave the past in the past or store it at the level of warm memories. Learn to live in the present.

First love is a storm of emotions that can be compared to very strong hypnosis. Young people, overwhelmed by still unknown feelings, are in a kind of fog that prevents them from soberly assessing the situation.

It is unlikely that you will ever be able to experience a similar story again, so childhood and youthful love remains in the soul forever.

In every person's life there was a first love. Unfortunately, first love does not last long, but for many girls and boys it remains a magical and pleasant memory in their memory. The only exceptions are situations when the first partner, as if in a fairy tale, becomes the one and only for the rest of his life.

First love is a unique point of entry into adulthood. It is very important for the formation of mature relationships with a man and a woman, since first love is a very significant and irreplaceable experience.

First love is most often based on illusions and the desire to share your feelings with someone, which is why it has nothing in common with adult love. It only helps you see a part of yourself in your partner. However, first love is very emotional. But at the same time, it helps young people to understand and share their emotional world with other people.

Of course, in first love there is little reason, but there is a lot of feelings. That's actually good. But it is worth accepting as a rule that a person is not accepted as he is. In a word, the partner is idealized according to their fantasies and desires, as in a fairy tale or a romantic film. This is the reason that at the first encounter with everyday life it breaks. This happens due to a lack of understanding of each other, from demands for serious steps and the creation of an ideal family. This is where all the romance goes down the drain!

If you compare first love, it’s like a bright flash of flame, and adult relationships between the stronger and weaker sex are a constantly burning fire. Going through first love is very important in order to gain the necessary experience and some kind of lesson. In the future, these mistakes can be corrected in adult relationships. Also, the first experience of love teaches you how to correctly let another person into your life, accept his hobbies, attractions and get used to his character.

Reasons for personal growth during a first romance

• Firstly, the person's personality becomes complete and mature, and the outcome of the affair does not matter.
• Secondly, regardless of how your first love ended, most often in disappointment (due to idealization), or unrequited love, you get a good experience. In other words, learn to direct negative feelings and worries into a constructive and creative bed.
• Thirdly, stop idealizing a person and learn to understand another person, without trying to make him your copy.

There are, of course, exceptions when a person does not draw any conclusions from the first novel, that is, does not pass the exam. This leads to big problems in relationships with the opposite sex.

So, let's conclude: the main and main task of first love is the formation of an established relationship model and the ability to build adequate relationships with the opposite sex, organized on understanding and mutual respect, and not attempts to create a strong family, since people are not yet ready.

First love is the most sincere and bright feeling that, according to statistics, every person experiences. In most cases, we experience it when we are still very young and inexperienced. We sincerely believe that first love is for life, that we will never part with this person.

In general, it is difficult to argue whether love in adolescence will last forever or a month. After all, it’s different for everyone and we can’t say, for example, that someone will break up in a day or two. How do we know? No one has the right to interfere in other people's relationships.

However, it is worth returning to the main question of this article. What is first love? You know, no matter how they describe it in books and articles of this kind, until you experience this truly magical feeling, you are unlikely to understand anything. But if the article has already begun to be written, then you should reveal the key phrase in as much detail as possible.

But we must not forget about such questions as is it true that first love is the strongest feeling in our life? So strong that even after many years it can flare up with its former strength, despite all the obstacles that exist these days? Is it really true that she will stay with us forever? Can she ever be let go? Or is love just a myth? Everyone has their own opinion, which we must respect in any case. We will try to answer these and other questions in today’s article.

In this article, in addition to the fact that such first love will be revealed, many other, no less important secrets will be revealed.

First love is...

First love is when you make plans for the future together, naively believing that they will come true. First love is when you run away from home at one in the morning through the window, just to see your love. First love is, accordingly, the first kiss. First love is a bunch of thoughts in your head and they are all about one person. First love is a feeling that inspires you. First love is something every young man should experience. First love is the first touch, the first emotions. First love is something that will never be forgotten, no matter how much you want to. First love is the love in which we have most invested ourselves, our soul and heart. First love is the first experience given from above to everyone. First love is, of course, the first hug. First love is like the first snow, it will most likely melt, but this is where the fairy tale begins. First love is the words of love that you hear for the first time from the opposite sex. First love is a lot of unforgettable emotions. First love is when you want to see a person every second. First love is the main feeling you experience at your young age. First love is

You can still say thousands of such cute and ridiculous phrases, but what are they for? A person who has experienced such a feeling as first love does not need to read all these phrases. After all, he himself went through this and he himself realized that for every person, first love is something special and unique, forever remaining in our hearts.

Many people now do not understand the meaning and significance of the phrases presented above. And that's okay. If you're not already familiar with this feeling. As a first love, this is absolutely normal for you. Everything comes with experience and years. But when you meet that very true love, then, believe me, you will certainly understand the meaning of these phrases.

Feelings during first love

The feelings we experience during first love are approximately the same for everyone. You love, so your brain automatically switches off. All thoughts are only about one person. You think about him every hour, what an hour - every minute or even second. You think that this feeling will be with you forever, in your 14-18 years. You naively believe that this is the same person with whom you will live together in the future. Most likely, in your head you are already married and have two children with him.

For many children at this age, the brain turns off, and only hormones play. Emotions at this age are inexplicably emotional. In principle, this is not so bad, because at this age you love and don’t think about anything. All you want is to spend as much time as possible with your boyfriend. See his smile and eyes, how happy he is to be next to you. You enjoy being with him because all you need at the moment is his presence next to you. You simply can’t imagine life without him. The main thing is that nothing happens to him, and he is happy, and the reason for this article should be you.

And you know, when a person fantasizes like this, he doesn’t look stupid at all. On the contrary, it is so wonderful to watch that he believes in this wonderful and still bright feeling at a young age. After all, believe that after the first love, a second and even a third will definitely follow, but since the first time you will hardly be able to believe. Just be afraid of getting burned again.

Is first love the most powerful feeling in our life?

Perhaps yes. First love is something that is never forgotten, even years later, you will remember that boy from the next door with whom you were so much in love in your best years. Or the classmate who so often pulled your pigtails, trying to get attention. Or maybe this is a boy who both you and your friend liked? It could be anyone, and the fact remains: first love is truly the most powerful feeling on our planet.

However, many argue: whoever does not forget his first love will not know his last. Yes this is correct. Absolutely right. After all, if you spend your whole life grieving that the plans you made in your head never came true, then how will you know what fate has in store for you next?

Will feelings flare up in a few years?

This question worries many. But really, if you meet your first love a few years later by chance on the street, will something stir in your chest? Most likely, yes, but maybe you parted with those feelings already when you left him yourself? It’s hard to say, because everyone has their own first love story.

Many people say that it is better not to return to your first love. After all, this is the past - and the past, as they say, is better not to remember. On the contrary, you can remember your first love, bask in the feelings that you experienced earlier. First love is the first one to remember for the rest of your life.

Is our first love forever?

Perhaps, if our first love were with us for the rest of our lives, then no one would suffer from the fact that someone abandoned someone. This suggests an obvious conclusion: forever, first love only happens in novels and films, and not in life. You must clearly understand and soberly assess the situation. You are still just children, sincerely believing in this unearthly feeling - love. Yes, there are relationships for a year or two, and many people think that it will last a lifetime. One should think a little and understand that nothing happens forever and do not instill hope in yourself in vain.

There are only such isolated cases when first love really lasts a lifetime. Even though this happens very rarely, it cannot be denied in any way. Perhaps the first love will happen at a more mature age, for example, 25-30 years, when a person is already ready for family life and knows what he wants. Everyone has their own story about this and their own thoughts.

Is it possible to let go of your first love?

A little banal, but still an acceptable question on the topic of what first love is. First love can be let go, and in some cases it is even necessary. Why, you ask? You know, there are situations when a young man is simply using you. And you understand this very well, but you love him and do not want to let him go. So, in such a situation there is only one effective and proven way out: run. Just run away from such a person. Believe me, such people do not change and it is simply banal to hope that he will become the way you pictured him in your dreams.

However, there are other situations. You broke up with your first love a long time ago, but still, after several years, you cannot let her go. What to do in such a situation? It's better to let go, believe me, there is nothing good in first love. Although, no, why not - there is. But that's first. Then under no circumstances should you return to her, no matter how much you might want to. Remember - yes, please, but it’s better to let go and not come back.

What to do if parents are against first love?

There are situations when parents do not approve of your love for an object. In this case, they are most likely faced with a choice: either they or your love. In this case, you should not panic and make a desperate choice. You can always reach an agreement. It’s better to talk to your parents and explain how much this person is dear to you and you don’t want to part with him. Hug them and tell them how much you love them and don't want to fight over such a small thing. Believe me, your parents love you very much and will always understand. There is simply no such thing as a hopeless situation.

Many young people make the mistake of choosing their love. It often turns out that the parents were right, and love turned out to be not as pure and bright as you naively believed, but treacherous and selfish. Therefore, in such a situation, it is better to trust the experience of your parents and do as they advise.

Or you, as an exemplary child, chose your parents. Then you may lose your love forever. What if it was real and would last until the end of your days? Agree, such a situation is possible.

So follow one simple tip: talk to your parents, hug them and tell them how much you love them. Their heart will thaw and then you will no longer have the problem that was written in the title.

Conclusion

After reading the article above, you probably already realized that it is about what first love is. It touches on other, equally important issues. Which ones are written above. Perhaps you also found the answers to them by reading the article.

You probably already understand what first love is. Although, you know, after reading one short article it is difficult to truly understand what first love is. Perhaps you will agree that an ordinary article cannot compare, for example, with a story by a talented writer. Yes, indeed, I would like to recommend reading the story by I.V. Turgenev "First Love". Spend a couple of hours reading this wonderful story and you will truly understand what the real feelings are that we experience at such a young age. This story describes the real emotional feelings that a 16-year-old boy experiences. In general, you shouldn’t tell it, otherwise it won’t be interesting to read.

I would also like to say that the main thing in first love is real emotions. Never lie to your boyfriend. Always be completely honest with him. After all, having lied once, you will no longer be able to earn the trust that was previously in relation to you. Of course, you can forgive, but you can’t hug.

During first love, you give a part of yourself, and sometimes even all of yourself. It’s as if you are under hypnosis and cannot soberly assess situations. You are in love, this cannot be avoided. You feel that this is exactly the person you have been waiting for all your life, albeit short. You are ready to take care of him all the time. To be with him in sorrow and in joy.

What else can I say? Finally, I would like to wish you good luck and say that first love does not always mean separation and resentment. There are couples who have been together since their youth and have already had a golden wedding. Why not use such unions as an example? Perhaps these are the couples who were able to overcome all the obstacles and just be together.

Good luck to you, the younger generation, in your search for your true and true love! And also, if for some reason you haven’t found your first love yet, don’t be upset in any way! Everything has its time. It’s better to wait a little than to rush at the first person you meet. And believe me, after waiting just a little bit, you will be much happier than those who found their love in the first person they came across.

Pages of love

When people fall in love, they are capable of feats that they never thought possible. The whole world is being transformed, a person perceives his surroundings through the prism of love, which makes the world brighter, kinder, lighter. He is ready to move mountains for his loved one. As the main character said in the famous film “Hurry to Love”: “I want to be better next to her.”

It is not surprising that such a flurry of emotions remains in our memory. The feeling of first love is so strong that it blocks the voice of reason. A person falls in love not with the social status of his chosen one, not with his achievements. Often people cannot explain their choice, but follow the “call of their heart.”

Features of first love

If first love comes in youth, this is a severe test for personality a person who has not yet fully formed. And how he experiences this first great feeling will largely determine what kind of person he will become in the future.

Psychologists believe that first love is not always true. But she is truthful in her emotions, and therefore remains in a person’s memory for a lifetime. People remember their past passion, while experiencing only a slight light sadness or, conversely, joy.

It's worse if the first love remains unfinished. Then the person will begin to yearn and hope for a chance meeting. Living your whole life with regret about what didn’t happen is not very good. Therefore, it is worth letting a person go or forgiving him if he caused pain.

As a rule, such feelings are short-lived, and after the “candy-bouquet” period, a person’s eyes open. He sees in front of him not the young man or girl with whom he was in love, but a completely different person. Then disappointment comes. You shouldn’t bring up past feelings; it’s better for them to remain in your memory as bright and pure, not stained by years.

How to evaluate the first feeling?

Sometimes a person becomes fixated on his first love. The feelings he experienced do not leave him. He seeks to reawaken them within himself. And they flare up, you just have to see the object of your fantasies, your first love. Why is this happening?

One of the reasons for regretting your first love may be your current unsuccessful marriage. When relationships in a family do not work out, it may seem that the past love was ideal. A person begins to imagine what would have happened if everything had turned out differently then. But is it worth looking back?

No matter what age your first love comes, it is always beautiful. The feelings that a person in love experiences are indescribable. You shouldn’t be afraid of her or close yourself off from her. And there is no need to try to forget her either. This is the experience that helps a person create new love relationships in the future.