“I am a girl, and a girl should walk quickly, with her head bowed low, as if she were counting her steps. Her eyes should neither rise nor move to the right or left of the road, because if they suddenly meet the eyes of a man, the whole village will think that she sharmut..." This is where the story begins Arab woman named Suad. Until a certain stage in her life, she only knew what she should and should not do. But over time, the heroine will learn other verbs - “I can” and “I have the right”, only this will be a different life...

Suad was born and spent the first 19 years of her life in a Palestinian village on the west side of the Jordan River, where men are allowed everything and women nothing. A woman there is valued much lower than a ram or a cow. Suad's childhood years were filled with one insane fear - of her father, mother, and neighbors. The girl came from a family where, in addition to her, 13 more sisters and only one boy were born. But Suad grew up with three sisters and a brother. It took years for the girl to wonder: where are the other children? The answer did not take long to arrive - soon Suad saw how her mother, having once again given birth to a girl and not a boy, strangled her with a sheep's skin. Later, by the verdict of the family council, her now adult sister was also killed. For what, Suad never found out. More precisely, she didn’t dare ask a single question to find out.

A house, outside of which you cannot go alone, a village, a field - that’s the whole world of Suad. The girl is supposed to do homework and nothing else. Her highest dream is to get married. According to local customs, married women gain relative freedom: they can wear makeup and go to the store alone. On the other hand, you understand that after marriage some fears will be replaced by others - beatings from your father replace beatings from your husband. But Suad had no right to marry before her older sister. And the girl took a desperate step; she began to secretly meet with the man who was wooing her. When Suad became pregnant, her boyfriend ran away, and her parents sentenced her to a terrible death - burning alive. My sister's husband doused a pregnant girl with gasoline and set her on fire. By some miracle she survived. Then her own mother tried to poison the girl to the hospital, because a “crime against family honor” should be punishable by death. But this time Suad remained alive, she was saved by a French woman - an employee of the humanitarian organization "Land of People" named Jacqueline. The girl was taken to Europe, she underwent a dozen operations, learned to live again, overcoming fear, horror, despair, and a sense of shame. Suad was able to defend her right to life and told the story of her fate so that the world would know about this horror. She wrote the book to help millions of women like her - lost, humiliated. Several years ago, this confessional book spread around the world and became a real bestseller. Of course, not without the help of the French journalist Marie-Therese Cuny, who participated in its writing. Suad's story is real - so say her publishers and activists of the Swiss humanitarian foundation "Emergence", whose efforts managed to save Suad from death. Her face is practically undamaged, but she only takes photographs wearing a mask, fearing that her relatives will see her alive and want to kill her a second time. After all, similar cases are known when relatives found their victims even in Europe. But what of this story is actually true and what the French journalist embellished is a complex question. Many believe that “Burn Alive” is another falsification, which is a weapon of Western propaganda against Muslims. Others believe that Suad's story is true, but significantly embellished to make it more impressionable. Still others believe that “Burn Alive” is a real autobiographical novel and everything that is described in it actually happened.

Be that as it may, this heartbreaking story would hardly have surprised and shocked the reader so much if it had happened in the 14th-15th century, when savagery and ignorance reigned. But it’s safe to say that these days it will come as a real shock to any European, and especially to women. Although, every day reading the news in newspapers and watching them on TV, we see that children are killed, women are abused and violence is committed not only in the Eastern, but also in the Western world. But the case of Suad is something out of the ordinary for Europeans - it is a shock, a horror.

The book may evoke different feelings in readers, but it will not leave anyone indifferent. The novel is easy to read, the heroine expresses all her feelings and emotions very accurately, understandably, and without any complex verbiage.

Designed to turn the world upside down, Suad's documentary novel "Burn Alive" has now been translated into 27 languages. In France alone, the book went through 25 reprints with a total circulation of more than 800 thousand copies. The translation of the novel into Russian, which was published by the Russian publishing house "Ripol Classic" in 2007, can now be purchased in Baku - at the book house "Ali & Nino", located at Z. Tagiyev St., 19 (telephone: 493- 04-12).

"Burn Alive", Suad

Genre: Documentary novel

Publisher: "Ripol Classic", Russia

Publication date: 2007

Binding: hard

Pages: 288

Excerpts:

"Ever since I can remember, I had neither games nor pleasures. To be born a girl in our village is a curse. The dream of freedom is associated with marriage. To leave my father's house for my husband's house and never return there again, even if your husband beats you. If married woman returns to his father's house, it's a shame. She should not seek protection anywhere except her husband's house, and if not, it is the duty of her family to return her to her husband's house."

“My father kept repeating how worthless we are: “The cow gives milk and bears calves. What can be done with milk and calves? Sell. Bring money into the house. Either a cow or a ram is much better than a daughter." We girls were convinced of this. However, the cow, the sheep, and the goat were treated better than us. Neither the cow nor the sheep was ever beaten!"

"A brother, a sister's husband, an uncle, no matter who, have a duty to protect the honor of the family. They have the right to decide whether their women live or die. If a father or mother says to their son: “Your sister has sinned, you must kill her...", “He does this for the honor of the family, that’s the law.”

"A curious thing is the fate of the Arab woman, at least in my village. We take it for granted. No thought of disobedience even comes to mind. We don't even know what it is - disobedience. We know how to cry, hide, deceive "to avoid the stick, but never rebel! There is simply no other place to live - either with the father or with the husband. Living alone is unthinkable."

“She grimaced, began to bite her lips and began to cry more than ever: “Listen to me, my daughter, listen. I would really like you to die, it will be better if you die. Your brother is young, if you don’t die, he will be in trouble.”

"For many months, skin grafts continued. A total of twenty-four operations. The skin for grafting was taken from my unburnt legs. After each operation, I had to wait until the wounds healed and start again. Until I had no skin left , suitable for transplantation."

“I was used to smiling endlessly at people, which greatly surprised them, and thanking them for everything. A smile was my response to their politeness and kindness, my only way of communicating for a long time. A smile is a symbol of another life. I wanted to smile as much as possible "Giving thanks is such a small thing. No one has ever said 'thank you' to me before. I'm used to beatings, not gratitude."

Readers' opinions:

I read the novel in one sitting. I won't say that this book is scary in itself. The scary thing is that, in principle, all this is happening today and somewhere near us. It's scary that human life so little valued. After reading the book, I immediately want to fight all the evil on earth.

Aziza, 24 years old

Having read the title of the book, I first took it in a figurative sense. Having learned what actually happened to the unfortunate woman, I experienced shock and understood the true meaning of the phrase “my hair stood on end.” Suad's story truly touches your heartstrings. She's scary because she's real. The sediment in the soul will remain for a long time...

Afag, 27 years old

I, as a Muslim, know the truth of our religion, and the fact that not all Muslim families have the situation as described in this book. But how can we explain this to people of another nation and religion after they read this book, which completely distorts the world of Islam?!

Anar, 20 years old

This book is a lie. This is an anti-Muslim action, a Western political military propaganda operation. Many will read it with horror, and then will talk about Islam, knowing absolutely nothing about this religion.

Vusal, 31 years old

Ashamed as I am to admit, reading this book left me with a feeling of joy. I am glad that I was born in Azerbaijan, and not in a Palestinian village. I am glad that I have the right to choose, that I can study and work, that I have the right to love and be loved. All my problems suddenly seemed so petty and insignificant to me. On the other hand, it became very sad for the fate of women from some other Muslim countries.

According to Archpriest Sergius Nikolaev, the modern world “more than ever before depends on women. From what values ​​she chose for herself as life guidelines, from her spiritual and moral position. The author notes that a woman can be a protector of the family, or she can become its destroyer. She has the power to give birth to children and not to give birth. She can raise a moral, kind person, or she can raise an unscrupulous egoist. With her choices, she has a huge impact on the life of the whole world.” The topic, which can be described as “the role of women in the family, society, and the world,” is often addressed by the authors of the Orthodox women’s magazine “Slavyanka.” Best stories, published on the pages of the publication, and compiled the book that today we bring to your attention. It was published by the publishing house “Kovcheg” and is called “Forgive me for everything... Women's destinies. Stories about miracles of faith and love."

1. First of all, let's say a few words about the magazine that provided the material for this book. The Orthodox women's magazine "SLAVYANKA" has been published in Moscow since 2006 with the blessing of His Holiness Patriarch Alexy II. As stated on the Slavyanka website, “the main goal of the magazine is to help women learn faith. A woman, according to the words of the Apostle Paul, is like a vessel, albeit a weaker one. And what this vessel is filled with is what he will give to his neighbors - his spouse, children, pupils - to drink.” Based on this, “from issue to issue the magazine talks about the high purpose of a woman, about women’s destinies, love, miracles of faith, health, the moral foundations of marriage, family relationships, raising children, Russian traditions.”

2. Among the authors of magazine articles included in the book “You forgive me for everything...”, there are both famous writers (nun Euphemia (Pashchenko), Nadezhda Smirnova, Alexey Solonitsyn), and those who have yet to gain the attention of a wide readership . These are Ksenia Vesnova, Natalya Klimova, Yulia Molchanova, Sergey Komov and others. Several stories in the collection are dedicated to the new martyrs and confessors of Russia, including many women. For example, the writer Alexei Solonitsyn talks about one of the nuns of the Samara Iveron Monastery who was killed during the years of persecution. Nun Euphemia (Pashchenko) tells the story of the holy martyr Parthenia (Bryansky) and the martyr Antonina Bryansky. And the author Polina Timakova introduces readers to the life of Mother Pavla Uvitskaya.

3. As the readers themselves, who have already read the book, note, all the stories about the miracles of faith and love collected in it provide answers to many questions. So, for example, the first of the works written by Ksenia Vesnova is called “Not of this world.” The author tells the story of a modern girl Tamara, who does not need anything thanks to her wealthy parents. But everything that her mother and father give her, ready to fulfill their daughter’s every whim, does not bring her happiness. Tamara languishes from internal dissatisfaction, she is tormented by “an incomprehensible pain in her soul and a feeling of the meaninglessness of existence.” With her incomprehensible behavior, she also causes concern to her loved ones. But one day, chance leads her to one of the temples, where she meets a man “not of this world,” and at the same time finds peace of mind.

4. A series of works by Natalia Klimova help to understand how faith, meekness and humility ordinary people helps the proud and arrogant to correct themselves, leads atheists to faith, shows the lost the right path, and makes strangers family. Take, for example, the story “The Way Home.” Two young women live in the same house. One of them, a mother of three children, spends her days in prayer, living at the expense of her brother. The other one doesn’t understand how one can live without working, on someone else’s dependency. And only misfortune helps her understand that each of us is given our own destiny, some to work and provide for their neighbors, and some to pray for them. But the story “Love and Prayer Work Miracles” testifies to how the pure faith of one person can transform another - even a swindler who is disappointed in everything and capable of any nasty things.

5. Natalya Loseva’s story “The Prodigal Son” tells about the fate of a village priest, whose eldest son, hope and support, left home, and, as it seemed from the outside, forgot everything that was taught to him in the home circle: he forgot and loving parents, and church life, putting peace and its values ​​at the forefront. But, as you know, someday beautiful life, promised by the world, ends, and the prodigal son returns home. This is what happened in this story. In Yulia Molchanova’s story “I Waited,” they also wait. But not prodigal son, and a soldier from the front. A grandmother, who is about to turn 100 years old, is waiting for her son to come home, who went missing in the Great Patriotic War. She believes and prays and waits. How this touching story ends, read on the pages of the book.

6. A story by writer Nadezhda Smirnova, the title of which is consonant with the entire book - “Forgive me for everything...” - with a sad ending. Its heroine is the village worker of the House of Culture Albina Valerievna - a lonely woman who devoted her entire life to her only son. She put him at the forefront, instead of God. And the pampered, wealthy, but ill-mannered son did not live up to her hopes, taking a dangerous path. The result is a tragedy. But only then does a woman gain true faith. The second story by this author, “Alexandra,” tells about the first months of the Great Patriotic War, about people who fell into occupation, about a girl whose father and mother were shot before her eyes, and she herself was sentenced to death, but she managed to escape. And in a very unusual, but complex way. Read for yourself how exactly.)

7. Let us dwell in a little more detail on the work of Polina Timakova - “You walked your path with dignity...”. In it, the author tells about the fate of the wife of the Hieromartyr Sergius Uvitsky - Pavla Ivanovna. As the author notes, the lives of the new martyrs are known to many. But much less has been written about the people who were next to them and supported them in all their trials. Often the lives of these people can be called hagiographies, and an example of this is Mother Pavla. As the author narrates, Mother was born “on May 20 (old style) 1886 in Vyatka in the family of deacon Ioann Ogorodnikov and his wife Alexandra Tikhonovna. It is noteworthy that for the first 2-3 years of her life, Pashenka was a very weak, sickly child: she was even baptized the day after birth, fearing that she would die without baptism. But God judged differently: she lived for more than ninety years.

8. Having reached adolescence, Pasha Ogorodnikova entered the Vyatka Diocesan School, where she studied various handicrafts, home economics, music, French. She had a beautiful voice and good hearing, so at concerts at the school she performed solo singing and also conducted a choir of students. While studying, Pasha became seriously ill with meningitis: there were days when she was on the verge of death. At the most critical moment of the illness, when she was already preparing for the transition to eternity, her entire future life was revealed to her in a sleepy vision, filled with both joys and sorrows, like a multi-colored rainbow, along which she had to walk. She saw that at first her path was bright and easy. She met a man with whom she connected her whole life and with whom she walked confidently and calmly.

9. But the colors of the rainbow along which they walked together began to darken, her companion disappeared and then appeared again, and his absence caused her excruciating pain. Suddenly - barbed wire, prison towers, dogs... Her companion at that moment disappeared completely, and she began to struggle to make her way further alone, as if through a gray web, knowing that she had to go, this was her duty. Now the path along the rainbow is already ending, it is almost at the very ground, in the midst of complete darkness, but as soon as its foot touched the firmament of the earth, a gentle voice was heard: “Courage! You have walked your path with dignity!” - and a bright, all-consuming light flooded everything around. After that night, the crisis passed, Pasha recovered.” And her dream subsequently came true with precision.” Author Polina Timakova talks about this further.

“A woman cannot live without faith,” these words of the Optina elder Barsanuphius became the motto of the Orthodox Church created more than 10 years ago Women's Magazine"Slav". The main task that the editors of the magazine have set for themselves is “to reflect the Christian life of the Russian people, the grace-filled power and beauty of Orthodoxy, the beauty of the Russian land and the people living on it. First of all, the beauty and power of charm of a Christian woman, the keeper of our religious traditions, in which we see the greatness of the past and the guarantee of the present of our Motherland.” The stories collected on the pages of the book “Forgive me for everything...” also meet this task.

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Society usually associates women with tenderness, care and weakness, but for some of them, life has prepared cruel lessons that not every man can cope with. This strengthened their will and character, and they were able to become happy, overcoming all the difficulties of fate.

website found stories different women, each of which refutes the popular view that women are the weaker sex.

1. The girl survived 18 operations and became a surgeon herself

Cody Hall from the UK was born with a severe facial deformity. The doctors refused to help the baby, but the parents decided not to give up and launched a charity event to collect donations. The girl was sent to America, where at one year old she underwent her first operation.

In just 14 years, Cody underwent 18 surgeries. Despite the continuous struggle with the disease, the girl led a normal life, went to school and achieved success in her studies. It is difficult to imagine how difficult it was for Cody to be among her peers, but she did not allow herself to be offended, much less pitied.

Kodi is now married to the guy she had a crush on back in high school. The girl works in the surgical department of Kettering Hospital and helps other people. She and her parents needed a lot of time, perseverance and fortitude for this happy ending.

2. Pakistani human rights activist paved the way for women's education in Islamic countries

Malala Yousafzai is a true heroine and inspiration for girls all over the world. Malala became famous thanks to her blog, which she began to write after the Pakistani authorities issued a decree banning female education.

The girl’s thoughts caused a great public outcry, after which Malala had to deal with threats in her native country and even survive an attempted murder with serious injury and subsequent coma.

Thanks to your courage and perseverance Malala has achieved considerable heights in her 20s. She is now studying at Oxford and helping other girls get an education. Malala has received many awards, including the Nobel Prize, opened a school for Syrian refugees and wrote the book I Am Malala.

“Miss Amazing” - this competition for girls with disabilities was won by Mikayla Holmgren thanks to her charm and immense hard work. But the girl did not stop there and became a participant in Miss Minnesota, and subsequently the first ever participant with Down syndrome in the Miss USA contest.

Mikayla enjoys dancing, gymnastics, does charity work and manages to study well. Incredible love of life, sincerity and determination The Mikayles are an inspiration to many other girls and prove that Down syndrome does not define a person as an individual.

4. The girl works in 9 places at the same time, taking care of the elderly

Sarah Moore left life in the big city and moved to a small island in Scotland, which is inhabited mainly by elderly people who are unable to cope with hard work. The girl took on the most labor-intensive job and now combines the position of air traffic controller, guardian, postman, fire rescuer, shepherd, island council clerk; stows luggage on planes, operates excavators on farms and even gives tours of the island's only lighthouse.

Sarah does not regret the move and does not miss her old life. She found friends and no longer feels lonely, the locals fell in love with her kindness and courage. Despite the daily hard work and lack of prospects, the girl feels like an absolutely happy person.

5. The girl survived a shark attack and lost her arm, but still became a surfing star

Bethany Hamilton nearly lost her life at age 13 due to a tiger shark attack and was left without her left arm. But the brave girl was able to overcome your fear and continued doing what she loved.

Simple Stories About
Women's Destinies.

Story One. Larisa, Russian, Moldova.

An interesting young woman did not see any future for herself in her homeland in the post-Soviet space. Poverty, harassment, insecurity, literally survival are her lot. I didn't want it that way. Larisa always kept herself in shape. Dressed in fashion, makeup in place, figure maintained by constant exercise. Intellectual exercises also keep the mind alert.
Larisa set herself a goal - to marry a European, get a residence there, and bring an old mother with her rapidly growing son. And he is already 10. And not just married, but married to a wealthy man, so that he can satisfy her considerable demands. Not just wealthy, but also kind, attentive, harmless, in order to get along with him, at least in those years allotted for obtaining the necessary status in a foreign country.
She achieved her goal. She has been living in Belgium for five years, married to a wealthy manufacturer. She visits expensive hairdressers, she has stylish, expensive clothes, her own car, small, bright red - a woman's, let's say. They live in a large villa, where they have all the comforts that the current technological era has created. They go on vacation in a crazy way expensive travel. She shines at his receptions and parties. His business partners and friends look on with envy.
So has Larisa found her happiness?
Her husband controls everything free time. He is jealous of any of her attention not to him. Larisa cannot invite her friends to the house, or, God forbid, friends. He calculates the time when she goes to the language course and checks the time of return. She doesn't go shopping alone, only with him. And he always pays himself.
He does not allow her to bring her mother and her son to his house. He does not allow her to go to them alone. But he doesn’t have time to go together. Five whole years. Why doesn't she divorce him? Her documents are already in order. They will no longer expel her from the country. She can receive benefits and then go to work. What keeps Larisa close to this selfish owner?
She can't imagine herself again without fashionable clothes, without an expensive car, without regular visits to a pedicure, hairdresser, fitness, massage. She cannot imagine herself in a modest apartment, in a modest job. All she managed to do for her son, who lives with his grandmother in a distant homeland, was to beg her husband to send a small monetary allowance every month.
A large family in Moldova can eat for the entire month with this amount. Larisa spends the same amount monthly on keeping herself in shape. And often more. And the son is already 15. He knows his mother only from photographs and memories. And not so far away - military service. And the old mother increasingly ends up in the hospital. The son is left to his own devices for weeks at a time.
What's next?

Story Two. Marina, Belarusian, Belarus.

Bright and attractive, very young, Marina knew how to turn anyone’s head. It was not difficult for her to lure Jean-Luc, a Belgian 10 years older than her, into her network. Dating on the Internet lasted three months, then he came to her for marriage. She would not have been able to get out of Belarus any other way.
For the first few months, Jean-Luc swam in a sea of ​​pleasures. Marina made a holiday out of his measured and boring life. But the holiday cannot last forever. Savings that seemed huge were suddenly all depleted. Jean-Luc prepared to return to work. But Marina objected. “I’m bored alone,” said the young playgirl. Jean-Luc stayed with her. The house was sold. Then the car was exchanged for a junk one. Then Jean-Luc got into crippling debt.
Marina was spinning life around for pleasure. Trips, travel, clothes without need and without counting. Parties where she chatted in Russian, without even bothering to learn the language of her new homeland. Finally, this too came to an end. Jean-Luc moved out of them rented apartment. The note in English succinctly stated: “I can’t do this anymore. Find yourself a money bag, or better yet, a money wagon!
Marina was left without any funds at all. Perhaps even for the first time in her life she felt despair. But fate did not turn away from her. The girl met a Pole, Jan, who had long settled in Belgium. The previous story began to repeat itself. Only Ian turned out to be more far-sighted. When the money ran out and everything was sold. Ian arranged loans for Marina. Then he disappeared. Marina was left with a small house, for which she had to pay a mortgage, and an outstanding loan of a couple of dozen salaries.
The latest rumors said that Marina had been seen far from these places, with some very old, but apparently rich man.

Story Three. Oksana, Russian, Russia.

Oksana, Igor, their little daughter and even younger son left inhospitable Holland, where their application for asylum was rejected. That’s it, the young woman decided for herself, there will be no more ordeals. They have now asked for asylum in Belgium, but this time separately. He is with their son, she is with their daughter. We received accommodation in different cities. It was agreed between the spouses that each would arrange a fictitious marriage with an aborigine, and then after the divorce they would reunite.
Both immediately discovered the unreality of the “fictitious” project. You have to pay for a “white marriage”. Oksana did not give up. Let it be effective! With her charm and Russian liveliness, there was no problem driving a man crazy. Serge was a dream come true. Handsome, not stupid, attentive, not poor. He knew languages ​​and played chess.
We got married after four months of dating. It took six to register the marriage. When we broke through all the bureaucratic delays, Oksana took a deep breath. She achieved her goal.
Serge turned out to be a terrible miser. A kind of Belgian embodiment of the Russian Plyushkin. Passed off junk and junk as antiques. He didn’t favor Oksana’s children. He didn’t give me any money, but he forced Oksana to look for money under the table. It got to the point where there was nothing to give the children for lunch at school. Oksana started making trouble. Serge threatened divorce before the end of the three years established by law to obtain documents. I had to humble myself and make compromises. On last year their scandals escalated into fights. Children suffered. Igor began to take them to his place more often, although he had nowhere to even put an extra bed.
After receiving a residence permit, Oksana filed for divorce. The process promised to not be easy. During a scandal one evening regarding divorce issues, the Russian soul could not stand it, Oksana left ex-spouse shoes. So much so that she slashed his face. His lawyer immediately filed a complaint. In response, her lawyer filed an appeal.
By now, “things are still there.” After two years of proceedings, the civil court has not yet issued even a preliminary decision.

History Four. Ksenia, Russian, Russia. Maria, Ukrainian, Ukraine.

Both young women met in the same city in Belgium. We became friends immediately. Their situations were so similar that they were simply amazed. Well, and of course, the common language, nostalgia for the usual way of life in former USSR, the usual mentality made them friends. Ksenia from the Urals, Maria from the south of Ukraine simultaneously signed up with their future spouses, and almost simultaneously moved to live in Belgium. Their husbands turned out to know each other.
Both of them worked as specialists at industrial enterprises. Earnings are above average. The young women settled in well. Their husbands could not get enough of good housewives, caring wives, sweet, attractive, always in shape. Mutual understanding reigned in both houses. Slowly, communication in a foreign language became commonplace.
Children were born in the same year. Maria has a girl, Ksenia has a boy. The families became close friends. The children grew up and went to kindergarten, which is part of the institute school here. The language has already reached the level of free communication. Maria and Ksenia really wanted to get a job. No matter how much their husbands earned, one salary was not enough for a full family. Looking for work has become the main activity during working hours.
Many disappointments awaited the young women. Under the terms of family reunification, the husband was obliged to support his wife, so state institutions for finding work turned their backs on them. All efforts fell on their own shoulders. They tried everything they could, they learned a profession, they completed official language courses, and they signed up for all the agencies.
Mutual understanding in families gradually disappeared. Eastern European women's insistence on earning money on their own frightened their husbands. They were impressed by the dependence of their wives on their “dearest.” However, Ksenia and Maria were not satisfied with the situation of housewives, and they also wanted to have their own money, not accountable to the family budget.
Nowadays, their ideal marriages have become ordinary. There is no former good relationship between the spouses. Centrifugal forces move them further and further away from each other. This is also facilitated by the confrontation between two solidarities - the Belgian male, on the one hand, and the female Russian-speaking, on the other.
There is still no work for Maria and Ksenia.
Things are heading towards divorce.

Story Five. Lyusya, Russian, Russia.

The beginning was beautiful and promising. Having met Nicolas on the Internet, Lucy received an offer to come to Belgium. By hook or by crook, I obtained a visa for myself and my sixteen-year-old son. The meeting at the airport marked the end of a long struggle and the beginning of a new life. The mood was joyful. It seemed that fortune was turning its most attractive side towards the already middle-aged woman.
Upon arrival at Nicola’s house, Lucy was perplexed: the bachelor’s apartment was in no way prepared for the meeting of a woman and her adult son. A cup of coffee with a cookie, instead of the expected holiday dinner, and going to bed for the night using improvised means - all separately, but in the same room.
The next morning, the explanation doused the enthusiastic woman with a cold shower.
- I didn’t promise you anything... Yes, he called, but you wanted to come yourself! And I didn’t take anything upon myself. I didn’t promise marriage, I didn’t expect love, you yourself expressed it clearly.... Yes, I wanted to help. I don't refuse...
For his help, Nicolas asked for an amount with four zeros. Lucy was offered a white marriage. The reward is natural and adequate. Lucy angrily rejected such help. Nicolas thought that the amount was large and began to bargain.
Lucy, in her forties, found herself on the street with her son. Bridges were burned. Nicolas's last offer - to work off the amount on credit (you are still very attractive, you will have enough clients) - caused her such anger that she almost rushed at him with her fists. I limited myself to a ringing slap in the face.
Insulted and betrayed, she stood on a strange street, in a strange homeland, in a strange environment. A passer-by helped. She gave me shelter and suggested how to look for other options. But fate firmly turned its unattractive side towards Lyusa. They either wanted money from her for a fictitious marriage, or offered cohabitation without any obligations - “for rations.”
For three years, Lyusya has been living semi-legally. The Belgian authorities registered her request for a residence permit, but this does not give her a reason to stay in the kingdom. Working in houses cleaning and ironing, washing dishes in cafes allows you to pay for a room with a kitchen and bathroom. Eat at least poorly.
There is little hope for a positive consideration of the request. Lucy doesn’t trust any man now. And she missed the disinterested offer to arrange her affairs. Fate is fate. The son graduated from school and entered a vocational school. But upon completion, he will not be able to work without documents.
They just live. They are waiting for some events. Hope dies last.

Story Six. Katya, Russian, Kazakhstan.

It was in vain that Katerina hoped that moving to Belgium would improve her relationship with her husband. Once again she regretted her decision to marry a handsome man. I didn’t believe my mother, I didn’t believe it close friend that he will not belong only to her.
Alas, even here, in a foreign country, he managed to make acquaintances and “walk to the left.” Katya bitterly mourned her painful marriage again and again. My daughter was growing up, she was soon nine, and biological father doesn’t even devote fifteen minutes a day to her. In addition, Alexey turned out to be unsuitable for settling down in his new homeland.
Katya had to take on contacts with the administration and the federal authorities, getting her daughter into school and other activities, and looking for extra work. The same goes for furnishing an apartment. It was through her efforts that her husband was hired as a car mechanic in the garage, and through her efforts she got a comfortable, cheap social apartment. Through her efforts, furniture was found and comfort was created. Searching for a lawyer, studying local legislation, the birth of her son - she achieved a residence permit in this country.
The work did not do Alexey any good. Good earnings gave him greater freedom of action. Now he spent a lot of time in local bars, making easy, non-binding acquaintances there. And my son is already four, and my daughter is almost fourteen.
Once, while complaining to a friend about her relationship with her husband, Katya heard from her about a dating agency run by their compatriot. Something pushed Katerina, as if she sensed her destiny. Accustomed to quick and decisive action, she contacted the agency the very next day.
Joffre, a Belgian, turned out to be not much older than her. Kind, hard-working, silent, and with a completely nondescript appearance. At first, Katya went on dates with bewilderment - am I really doing this, because I don’t feel anything for him! Katya demanded a divorce from Alexey. And then she filed a lawsuit because her husband refused to divorce by mutual consent. Unpleasant scenes began to occur in her house. Alexey began to drink at home and took out his anger at being abandoned on all family members.
Katya, without hesitation, packed her things, took the children and went to Joffre. It was clear that he was very surprised by such a decisive turn in their relationship. Katya told him everything. Joffre posted his new family in his nice country mansion, and began to get used to family life, to the sound of Russian speech in his house. He gave Katya complete freedom in creating comfort and arranging children's rooms.
For three months Katya swam in the waves of happiness. There were no scandals, there were no disappearances of the husband. All money went to the family budget. Joffre was affectionate with the children, and every weekend he took them on long excursions, water parks, and ship trips. She especially remembers a two-day trip to Disney Land Paris. Katya remembered that there is a marital bed, and the man in it does not sleep off his drinking, but pays her the attention she deserves. He got Katya a part-time job with a friend of his to process applications from clients. So she had enough time for her children, her home, and her husband.
Then Alexey appeared. He brought gifts for the children and flowers for Katya. He asked for forgiveness. He swore he didn't drink anymore. Katya did not give in. She didn't want to believe him. But Alexey was persistent and achieved his goal. The children still wanted to live with their own father, and she was touched by his transformation into the former handsome gentleman whom she married.
Joffre took her departure hard. On the day of departure, he didn't even come home. He called and said that he would always be waiting for her, no matter what happened. Katerina’s heart sank heavily in a vague premonition.
In her previous apartment, order and familiar things awaited her. Alexey behaved cautiously. Everything seemed to be going well. They began to go on picnics in their cars and visit forgotten fellow countrymen. Katya sighed, it seemed he had corrected himself. A year has passed. And everything returned to its place. Alexey began to hang out with available girls again, and again spent family money on bars and women.
Katya didn’t worry. She did not announce her decision to her husband. I just called Joffre. He came for her in the middle of the working day. We quickly boarded a spacious minibus and drove off to our former happy place. Katya forbade her husband to appear in Joffre's house. The divorce was finally completed. Alexey received the right to take children with him two weekends a month.
The son was more inclined to call Joffre dad. Adult daughter After graduating from school, I entered the university and began to live alone. She harbored grudges against both her mother and father. But she came to Joffre and was friends with him; she did not show her feelings to her mother.
Katerina scolded herself for her departure from Joffre and the experiment with her husband, which took an extra year of her life. But now she became very attached to her Belgian husband, and probably even fell in love.

Story Seven. Marusya, (no information about nationality), Belarus.

Everything turned out perfectly for the 22 summer girl from the capital of Belarus. Her Belgian fiancé, just a year older than her, did not hesitate for long. After five months of correspondence, they had a beautiful, noisy wedding in Minsk, and then submitted documents to the embassy for her to move to him.
Michel worked as a policeman in Brussels, but for some reason he rented an apartment in a city 60 km away from the capital of Belgium. The young people began to live in this apartment, without thinking about any inconvenience.
It was a revelation for Michel to discover that his wife suffered from constant migraines. Sometimes the terrible pain in my head became unbearable. While attending language courses, Marusya simultaneously underwent examinations in specialized diagnostic clinics. The doctors just shrugged their shoulders.
Michel turned out to be a quiet and calm guy, spending time at the computer and TV. The dinner she prepared and a bottle of beer were all that fit into his concept of happiness. He cared for her as much as her illness required. Humbly paid the hospital bills. Marusya was glad that he did not pester her with unnecessary questions or additional matters. When the migraine got worse, the girl was on pills and was unable to even cook. Michel did not grumble, but went to a nearby eatery for hamburgers and fries.
Marusya's doctors do not recommend having children if she is in such health. So they live together, each in their own shell.

History Eight. Natasha, Russian, Kazakhstan.

The flight from Almaty was panicky. What threatened Natasha’s seven-year-old daughter made her heart skip a beat in fear. The intermediary agency, at the height of its transfer business, asked for an amount equal to the cost of the apartment with all its contents. True, prices for houses and apartments abandoned in disarray by Russians have fallen to ridiculous figures.
And in Belgium - a house for four single-parent families, mostly women with one child. The fight for the right to asylum. Getting used to someone else's way of life. Granite is one of the most difficult languages ​​to learn. Well, at the beginning all the neighbors were Russian-speaking.
Four years have passed. The issue with documents was becoming catastrophic. In place of the lovely neighbors came African women who were far from the concepts of hygiene, order and comfort. Social Services replaced benefit payments with cash for food checks.
Natasha feverishly looked for a way out. Friends helped me find a marriage agency. The first chosen one seemed so promising! An office police officer, with a house, an expensive car, and income. No marriage experience and no children. But a month later, Natasha ran away from his nagging, male impotence and childish behavior.
I decided to look for the right option. The tall, dark-haired Frenchman, Jacques, did not rush things. Despite being overloaded with work, he visited regularly. Worked and lived in Belgium. I helped a little bit, and thank you for that. He gave gifts to his daughter, Natasha. But only for birthdays and major holidays. He did not propose marriage. But he promised, in case of aggravation with the documents, to formalize the marriage.
A year later she moved in with him. Two years later they registered their marriage. His old house was rented out, and they lived in the new, unfinished one. We tried our best to finish it. Jacques turned out to be faithful and patient. And Natasha was carrying an incredible amount of problems that fell on her new family. Here is the first wife with financial claims. And his son, who grew up without education. His loans, endless work on different shifts at the factory. His relatives. Problems with his mother. The illness of his brother, abandoned by all his numerous relatives in a remote hospital. And much more.
Natasha pulled the strap. I trained as a pastry chef. She worked as a cleaner. She took care of her husband, her daughter, and his son. His lack of will and indifference to her efforts was striking. His help was always passive, and he never showed initiative at all. But Jacques was pleased with her, and rejoiced at his marriage as if it were a successful deal.
Natasha is still pulling her heavy burden.

Story Nine. Rita, Bashkir, Russia.

In the eleventh year of her marriage, Rita still made the courageous decision to leave her husband. And now, a year later, she is free. It's a pity that she didn't do this before arriving in Belgium. And now both a big daughter and a son were born and raised here. At first, freedom was dizzying. The tyrannical husband disappeared from her horizons. Independent money management, own arrangement in the apartment, peace, quiet. Everything seemed to be going as well as ever. But after the joys, sorrows inevitably came.
Rita did not learn the language, did not know how to use a bank card, did not know stores well and did not understand prices. The husband always took charge of everything. But now everything fell on her own shoulders. The decision to meet and find a life partner came naturally. Neighbors and girlfriends also took part in this.
The avalanche of calls and messages discouraged Rita. Just one ad in the newspaper. But behind the seeming abundance of options, it turned out that there was no one to choose from. He is old, albeit rich. He is both old and not rich. He is kind, caring, but not attractive. He is young, very young, with fun in his head. Curiosities came across, Rita got involved in indecent stories. Some lied shamelessly. Well, the deception was revealed in time. Many made indecent proposals, and some made advances directly on a date in public places.
There was a peer, a good businessman from the capital. I immediately took the bull by the horns. I planned their path to marriage and made provisions for meeting their parents. A couple of dinners at a restaurant. I picked him up on dates in his car. Paid for the train. Correct communication. But one evening, Richard, as soon as he met Rita, took her straight to the room. The woman didn’t even have time to realize that their relationship had become intimate. She mechanically followed him, as if in a stupor. She trusted him, prepared for the meeting, did not assume anything. In principle, Rita was not against intimacy, but like this - from the train to the rooms! I felt deceived. Understanding came much later, at home in bed. He behaved with her soullessly, selfishly, did not ask her consent, did not inquire about her feelings!
A woodworker and workshop owner in a nearby town was interested in the Russian language, Russian culture and Russian women. A wonderful person in every way... But, twenty years older.
Rita sighed and decided to remain alone. And then fate gave her a surprise - she met an interesting person in the park. She was spinning and spinning. Feelings flared up. Everything seemed to be going well. He has a job, a car. They will live with her, the apartment is large. Loves children. Meetings in restaurants and parks gave way to walks around the neighborhood and trips to interesting places.
But again... he was lying. He lied shamelessly. At first it turned out that he did not have a job. Then it turned out that he was not studying for a profession, then it turned out that he had never worked at all. Then it turned out that he had nowhere to live. Then it turned out that the car was not his. Then, then, then... His SMS messages now seemed too frivolous, and his interest in her daughter was too intense.
Rita also kept this one away from her home from sin. She sighed and stayed with her resident, a Russian from Transnistria. This one, although not settled, without documents, with a family over the hill, is his own, proven. He will help around the house and caress you in bed. And he has nothing to deceive her about. Rita swore off dating.

History Ten. Zhanna, Ukrainian, Latvia.

At 38, Zhanna was still a very attractive, youthful woman. There was no end to the offers. But she got bored with the inhospitable Baltic states. I wanted it to be on a global scale. She chose her husband carefully, so that he would be gifted in appearance, and intelligent, and successful in finance, and so that he would treat her as his only treasure. This one was found in Belgium. Patrick, forty-one, tall and handsome. The University of Economics. Managerial position, plus your own business. Not arrogant, calm, reasonable.
There was no wedding, we just got married and sat in the restaurant. She waited four months for a visa. Still lucky. The new house was a joy. Everything was surprising. Rich villa. A large, not at all our way, garden, an abundance of foreign cars, accessibility to expensive boutiques. City architecture, unusual money. But there were also a lot of negative emotions.
For example, their habits, mentality. Her broad Ukrainian soul did not like the stiffness accepted in his intellectual circles. She didn’t like excessive frugality in small things and spending “like a fool,” as she put it. Let's say, treating all visitors in a bar when they are drunk. Where she would have saved, Patrick squandered; where he should have been generous, he was stingy.
I didn’t like their education, their income-oriented doctors. Sidewalks shamelessly littered with pet feces. I didn’t like the lack of nature, but only continuous cities, towns, asphalt, and the walls of houses. I didn’t like the rough sound of the Flemish language, a related branch of Dutch.
My husband and I were fine. Until they started arguing about comparisons. Like them, like hers. Patrick didn’t understand why he wanted to rearrange, revise, reinstall something in such a life that had been established for centuries. She couldn’t wrap her head around how he didn’t notice the shortcomings of their way of life and everyday arrangements.
This seemingly ideal marriage began to show crack after crack. Zhanna stood her ground in everything, not wanting to give in to her husband in anything. He could not accept her proposals and interference, did not agree with her reasoning.
After 6 months in Belgium, Zhanna went to her parents in Kyiv. She swore off traveling abroad at all.

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The train slowly started moving, station buildings floated outside the window, now a narrow strip of the edge of the platform was left behind, suburban one-story houses flashed by - we are going on vacation. We are me and my teenage son, he, more precisely, is going on vacation. No, we're not southern seas, we've been there, too, but we only lasted a week, it was crowded and boring. We are traveling on a commuter train to the village to visit my parents, to places dear to our hearts, to a quiet river, to an oak grove behind a vegetable garden, to blooming dahlias lovingly nurtured by my mother.

To my father’s apiary, to haymaking, grazing cows, to swimming in a pond and other rural labors and entertainments. The peasant essence cannot be eradicated by anything, not by the urban lifestyle, not by the fashion for resort holidays, not by the habit of comfort in everyday life. Although, or maybe you won’t agree with me, I saw peasant women giving a head start to hereditary city dwellers in an inexhaustible passion for resort recreation and entertainment, as if they were born in mansions, and not in squat huts under a thatched roof.

The train knocks at the joints of the rails; in the carriage opposite, peasant women are sitting, talking about their vegetable gardens and the failure of the cucumber harvest. I love listening to such conversations, unhurried, with a southern Russian accent, with local turns of phrase, carrying the age-old peasant meaningfulness of everyday prose. A woman sits next to me wearing a white bandage scarf, as my mother put it, highlighting her tanned face with white lines and wrinkles around the eyes. The conversation turns to their children's city life. The eldest of the women, short, neatly dressed, in cloth summer shoes on the sock she complains about the busyness of her daughter, who lives in the city. She has two sons, one of them is a student, a husband, everyone needs to be washed, everyone loves to eat deliciously, she spoiled her, it’s her own fault.

The youngest loves soup, the elder loves borscht, serve only hot fish to my husband, my sons don’t eat it at all, but they love cutlets and pancakes with meat. And they also have a dacha, of course, she doesn’t work there alone, but female hands They also continue to work at home. The woman sitting opposite, perky, with wavy hair escaping from under her scarf, objected: “Is it really difficult to cope with housework now? Even in our village, everything is at hand: water, you don’t need to heat the stove, there is gas, you can do laundry or not, if you go down to the cellar once a week, it’s good, the refrigerator is nearby.

It was difficult to manage the house before; they carried water on rockers from under the mountain and heated it in the stove. And they washed it with something, a bar of soap, sparingly, so that it would last for a long time, not like now, a rash of powder, as much as you want, is sold in stores for every taste.” “So, it seems like the old lady agrees, but they didn’t wash it very often before. Everyone slept on the stove in the winter, covered with sheepskin coats, and in the hayloft in the summer. The fancy trousers were worn without washing. Look how the children are dressed up these days (the local expression is well-groomed, that is) and points at my son, confusing him, he did not know the meaning of this word. The grown-up girls and brides did the laundry, and they also tidied up the house. The smaller ones run into the cellar, but everyone was working in the garden.

“I looked and the third person sitting next to me picked up the conversation - the kids were going to school, washed, ironed, and wearing shoes, and we took turns wearing felt boots in the winter. Mother will cook a cast iron of potatoes, with kvass for your dear soul, and she will also get cabbage soup from the stove. Now you come to the store, they buy everything, but you have to cook it from what you bought. My daughter-in-law won’t seat her family at the table without salads, here you have Olivier and some kind of brik cabbage..., brock..., she faltered - (broccoli, I suggested) in mayonnaise, the guys love it very much.”

“My neighbor, a teacher, a curly-haired woman who won’t give up - she bought a pressure cooker, before you can blink an eye, the meat is ready. No, now life has become easier for the housewife, everything is on hand, you can not leave the house all day if it weren’t for the housekeeping.”

“Previously, meat was seen on Holy Day, but on Trinity Sunday the mother will kill a rooster, and on other days she will put potatoes and cabbage on the table, in the summer, a glass of milk, that’s all the cooking,” added the woman who opened the topic of conversation. “They baked the bread themselves.” , every week the mother started the kneader at night, and now take it from the store as much as you want, her opponent continues, tucking her unruly hair under a scarf.

The train was slowing down and approaching the station. Fellow travelers began to get ready, took their luggage off the shelf, and threw it onto their shoulders. knitted bags with the city's shopping, they moved in single file to the exit, without drawing a conclusion from the conversation. I didn’t do it either, watching the village women, these busy workers, with eternal concern for the children and the household. At all times, women's lot has not been easy.