Many women try to conquer men with a spectacular appearance - complex makeup, perfect hairstyle, and, of course, meet something by clothes, but for many years they remain with those who managed to ignite a spark of interest in a man.
To be interesting is always, first of all, to be interested, because each interlocutor is pleased when they listen to him carefully and subsequently they will not forget either his name or position, and they will not even fail to inquire about the health of his grandmother, whose illness you talked about for an hour last time . Therefore, asking relevant questions, listening carefully and with interest to the answers, as well as telling general but interesting information about yourself and your life, you can show yourself as a pleasant conversationalist, and this is already half the way to success in a man’s heart.
Having hooked a man with a pleasant conversation, it is very important not to lose his interest in subsequent communication. To do this, you need to be able to keep a distance in a relationship. After all, when meeting a woman, a man feels a mystery in her that intrigues him and does not let him sleep at night, demanding an immediate solution, that is, a conversation, a meeting, etc. The closer the acquaintance, the more the sense of novelty is lost, emotions subside, adrenaline and ... a man switches to another object of interest! Therefore, do not be afraid to demand and give personal space, do not try to control every step of a man, just as you should not retell all the topics that you discussed today over a cup of coffee with a friend. Flirt with a man, intriguing him with how and with whom you spent time. Accept and appreciate the personality of another person, and he will answer you in the same way, and spending time together will not lose its novelty for many years.
Spend your free time not only on cooking, washing, ironing and other household chores, but also on your own spiritual development, because every man wants to be not only fed, but also just talk heart to heart. And if a woman constantly brushes off under the guise of “my milk ran away because of your chatter,” then just as soon husband runs away- where they will listen to him and talk to him.
Get yourself a hobby that you enjoy. And than less than a man will understand in all the subtleties of countless needles, hoops, decoupage napkins - so much the better, because by doing this you once again show your “zest” and arouse genuine interest and admiration for your mysterious pastime.
How to attract a man with appearance?
Don't forget to pay attention to your appearance. It will be pleasant not only for a man, but also for you, because catching the admiring and interested glances of passers-by is the dream of any woman, regardless of marital status.
Last but not least, be self-sufficient! Be interesting and passionate about life on its own, regardless of the presence of a man in it, do not get hung up on relationships, but look for self-realization in other areas. Use the principle of "reasonable selfishness" - do not try to take on all the responsibilities in a relationship, and relax a man, respect your partner's needs, but do not forget about your own. So you will avoid very common mistake“dissolving” in a partner, which leads to a loss of interest in a man, because who needs to see and communicate with “his mirror” every day.
Yes, men are mysterious and incomprehensible creatures, but using their innate female wisdom and intuition, as well as showing proper human attention and warmth, you can always remain necessary and interesting for men, and therefore happy in family life.
Read also:
Orthodox calendar
Friday, April 19, 2019(April 6 O.S.)
Week 6 of Great Lent (Week of Vay)
St. Methodius, archbishop. Moravian (885)
St. Eutychius, archbishop Constantinople (582)
Saints' Day:
Mchch. Jeremiah and Archilius the priest (III). Rev. Platonides of Syria (308). Mchch.120 Persian (344-347).
Memorial Day of Confessors and New Martyrs of the Russian Church:
Mchch. Peter Zhukov and Prokhor Mikhailov (1918); ssmch. John Boikov presbyter (1934); ssmch. Jacob Boikov presbyter (1943); Rev. Sevastiana Fomina, Spanish (1966).
Great post.
Marriage is not performed during Great Lent.
Readings of the day
Gospel and Apostle:
For eternity: - Gen.49:33-50:26; Proverbs 31:8-31 At the 6th hour:- Isaiah 66:10-24
Psalter:
Morning: - Ps.134-142; Ps.9-16 For eternity: - Ps.119-133
Hello!
Maybe you can give me an answer to my question.
I am a girl, I am 28 years old, and men are not at all interested in me. Which is very strange, since in my family all the women I know - my mother, her sisters, grandmother, have always been in the spotlight, with many admirers. For example, my mother never did anything - she could dress poorly and look bad, without hair, makeup and tired after work, but wherever she was, men always ran up to her to get acquainted, looked after her in every possible way. The marriage with my father fell apart due to his endless betrayals, even when I was 3 years old.
I was looked after by one boy at school, then he moved to another city, and two boys at the university also left somewhere. And the guys themselves don’t get to know me at all, except perhaps some individuals on dating sites. In real life, there is usually one meeting, a maximum of two. And that's all - no more answer, no hello.
When I ask the guys what happened, why they broke up, maybe I should change something in myself, they usually say: “No, you don’t need to change anything. You are so good."
I have no bad habits, I go in for sports, I don’t go to clubs, I like reading and needlework, I know how to cook, I’m pretty.
What could be the reason for such relationships with men?
Psychologists Answers
Hello. Alice. You speak in riddles, and you have to build hypotheses. First, you are probably arrogant in communication. You may not notice this, but this happens in addition to your desires. afraid to say something wrong, so you wait. what he will say. From this there is a lot of silence and boredom. Third, you are in a hurry to please in order to please. Therefore, you do not have your own opinion. independent and hidden. And there is a feeling of emptiness in the partner. There may be other options. The common thing for all reasons is self-doubt. Hence the defensive reactions that look like they are not natural. - it will be necessary to work on mistakes. It is also more effective to do it together with psychologists, since it is accompanied by strong fears of being different and natural. Without the support of a specialist, you can not cope with this. If there is a desire to improve yourself, please contact me, I will help.
Karataev Vladimir Ivanovich, psychologist of the psychoanalytic school Volgograd
Good answer 1 bad answer 1Alice, firstly, judging by the letter, you still have meetings with men, which means there are still those whom you may be interested in. But why you don’t build relationships is really a mystery.
And what do you really want? So that crowds of fans follow you as your mother? Recognition and respect? The one and only and for life?
What do you do on dates? How do you look, how do you talk, how do you behave? What kind of men do you choose?
Often we ourselves choose what happens to us, and if there is still no man in your life, and all your fans part with you, then you yourself are the central figure in all this. What are you doing or not doing to support this state of affairs? :)
Unfortunately, you can't tell from the letter. Here it is important to understand what exactly happens to you when you meet with another contender for fans. What are you starting to do there and what do you actually want in this situation and from this man. Such a debriefing is best done at a psychologist's appointment. And when your contribution to the current situation becomes a little clearer, you can already change something.
Bolgova Anna Vladimirovna, psychologist Tomsk
Good answer 6 bad answer 1Alice, you may not be followed by crowds, but you have dates, therefore you attract men and they show interest. The question is why do they disappear so quickly?
But it's interesting, when you meet a man - what do you want from him, so that he would be interested in you exactly? When communicating with people, we often carry certain messages: what do I want from you, what can I offer you, what kind of relationship I need, etc.
Observe for yourself what exactly you are saying to a man when you communicate with him (I mean not only words, but also thoughts and expectations, etc.)
And, perhaps, you should contact a psychologist for a personal consultation or via Skype in order to understand the situation in more detail.
I will be glad to help you.
Petrova Vera Vladimirovna, family psychologist Tomsk
Good answer 6 bad answer 1The beginning of a relationship in youth is increasingly reminiscent of a child's game of cat and mouse. He acts actively and invites on dates, and she agrees and flirtatiously flirtatiously, he courts, and she reacts to signs of attention, he seeks attention, and she appreciates his efforts. However, youth and first loves pass, and children's rules of the game lose their relevance. Partners learn to treat themselves and others with respect, realize that in a healthy relationship, both put in the same amount of effort, and begin to understand what exactly they want from the relationship.
Okay, okay, in reality, the situation described above does not overtake everyone. Men are often too lazy to win the attention of the opposite sex and look for the simplest and most affordable solutions, while women react coolly to compliments and overestimate the requirements for their intended partner so as not to get burned by the hunter for easy “prey”. In short, an atmosphere of suspicion and distrust is characteristic of both sides.
And today we propose to talk about the most sensitive side of this conflict - the women's side. What do men find so repulsive about female behavior? Why are they not in a hurry to conquer and sing serenades under the window? From what actions and reactions do men lose interest so quickly? Let's figure it out:
Reasons why men find you uninteresting
1. You wait before texting back or calling
If you think he'll find you available just because you instantly replied to his message, think again. The man will not even wonder why you answered right away. But hundreds of calls and messages, or the complete absence of them, may well anger him or confuse him.
2. You don't appreciate his efforts at all.
Do not try to fill your worth with imaginary indifference. If you liked the presented bouquet, thank you, if you were impressed by a walk, going to the cinema or a pleasant dinner, tell him about it. Otherwise, your partner will decide that he does not meet your needs and simply retires from your life before it's too late.
3. You don't say nice things to him.
The same effect as in the previous paragraph can also be caused by your inattention to his person. It is not at all necessary to praise him and give compliments. However, a young man may well assume that he is not good enough for you if, by your appearance and behavior, you express a complete lack of interest and sympathy.
4. You focus all attention on yourself.
It is better to bring neutral topics to dates and meetings, rather than your own problems and successes. On the one hand, you will not expose yourself as a selfish person who is only interested in herself, and on the other hand, you will not put all your cards on the table too quickly. Leave some room for fantasy and riddles!
5. You don't pay attention to him.
Are you ignoring him to force him to pursue you? Risky plan. It is likely that he listens to logic and will go looking for someone who can appreciate him. And you will be left alone with nothing.
6. You turn down dates just to make him think you're too busy.
I interviewed about twenty men and guys I knew, and they all admitted that they perceive the refusal of a date as an unwillingness to see specifically them (men), and not as an unwillingness to go on a date. The absolute majority also confirmed that after three refusals they would completely stop offering dates to the one who refused.
7. One-word answers
This passive-aggressive method only works with men who are in dependent relationships. What will a lonely young man who has nothing to lose do in such a situation? Find an interlocutor who will be interested in the conversation.
8. You interrupt a conversation to chat with someone you know.
Yes, you are popular and you have many friends. But your counterpart sees this situation from a different angle. The one where you're more interested in others than you are in dating him.
9. You keep him at a distance
Even if you explain this by saying that you want to check whether your relationship is serious, he is unlikely to take this news positively. Yes, and for yourself you will not do anything good with such a decision: on the one hand, the seriousness of the relationship cannot be verified in this way. They are tested by the difficulties you go through hand in hand. And on the other hand, you give him the right to do whatever he wants on the side. After all, you are not serious, right?
10. You retreat quickly
If you don't have something extraordinary but you run away again and again right after the end of the movie or right after dessert, your man will assume that you didn't enjoy the date. Perhaps you tried to show that you needed more personal space, but instead, you ruined the pleasant atmosphere of the evening and left your partner in a frustrated ignorance.
Do you want an honest relationship from men? Be honest with them in return. And above all, be honest with yourself. If you really like your partner, find a more honorable way to say what you're looking for. Serious relationships. And don't play with the feelings of others. Because the only loser in this game of manipulation is yourself.
Posted in
The authors of The Rules, Ellen Fein and Sherry Schneider, revolutionized America when they demanded that women once and for all forget about meeting men first, calling themselves, making dates. The main idea of the book can be expressed very briefly by one of those very famous rules: "Let the man lead." Today we publish the part that concerns the already established relations.
Rule #26 Even if you are engaged or married, you still need "rules"
Ideally, we should follow the "Rules" from the minute we first meet a man until the moment he says he loves and wants to get married. But if you were unfortunate enough to know about The Rules before reading this book, we offer you the best thing to do right now. Better to follow the "Rules" now than never follow them.
But if you never knew about The Rules, don't feel like you need to completely change your relationship with your fiancé or husband. For example, if you were the initiator of the relationship, calling him, asking him out on a date, and doing other things in order for the relationship to work out, he will always expect something like this from you. He does not have to worry about marriage - he knows that he has you. After all, you tell him this with every word and gesture. And a man gets used to taking you for granted. You may have made things worse by initiating sex and/or romantic dinners. You asked him about your feelings, asked him to spend less time at work or with friends and more time with you. Sometimes you even think that he has an affair on the side.
If you didn't follow the "Rules" from the very beginning of your relationship, then your husband may not pay attention to you, be rude or treat you badly. Are you guessing:
- His behavior is the result bad upbringing Or is it related to his past?
Perhaps it is. But we think it's all your fault. You didn't follow the "Rules". A man has never had to treat you like the girl of his dreams. A man who is absolutely indifferent to his wife or girlfriend changes dramatically when he meets a woman who follows the "Rules".
In a relationship according to the "Rules" there is no place for violence, you were difficult to win, a man had to work hard, and now he considers you the most beautiful and beautiful woman in the world, even if it's not. For him, you are a real treasure.
Do not despair. Start following the "Rules" immediately, and he will certainly notice a change in your behavior. And then he wants you more.
Here are five suggestions
- Don't call him at work so often. Calls should be short and businesslike. ("What time is the movie?"). Do not call to say that you are bored and want to do something in the evening sex. He should be calling you to say something like that.
- Don't initiate sex, even if you really want to. Let him be the man and the aggressor in the bedroom. Biologically, it is the man who should pursue the woman. If you start to initiate sex, then deprive a man of masculinity. Act like a Rules girl on a first date. Be flirtatious. Flirt when he tries to kiss you or bite your neck. And that will turn him into a tiger.
- Dress better and sexier. Men do not like to see a woman in a dressing gown at home. put on skinny jeans, miniskirts, bright shirts with a deep neckline. Use perfume, do makeup. Wash your hair often. Pretend you're on a date.
- Conduct yourself independently. Always come or go. Don't sit on the couch waiting for him to return. Do not load him with stories about the events of the day, your problems and pain. Make plans with friends, kids and neighbors. go to the cinema and shopping centers. Just walk. And this will make him dream about how to snatch at least a minute of your precious time. He'll want to kiss you in the kitchen if he feels like you're about to slip away. He will go crazy when you start talking on the phone in his presence - he will want you to belong entirely to him. This is what happens when you start following the "Rules". He will feel that he will never get tired of you. He will start calling you from work to arrange a dinner at a restaurant or a weekend trip. This is what you need. men love independent women because those give them freedom. They like to stalk busy women. It's interesting and exciting.
- Find yourself a hobby. Most men prefer to spend Sunday watching TV with beer. Some take work home and sit at the computer all day. Women get lonely when their men don't include them in their plans and don't pay attention to them. You should not nag a man and demand that he give up hobbies, friends and work just because you are bored. You will get more attention if you are busier than him. Play with your kids, go for a run in the park, buy a membership to a fitness club. This will not only keep you occupied, but will also help you to be in shape and be more attractive. He will think about what other men will think when they see you in a swimsuit. This is very helpful for relationships. This will make the man turn off the TV or computer and spend time with you. You can do charity work, read a book or play sports.
Find your own activities! The main thing is independence and employment. And then you will not hang around a man, complaining that he does not pay attention to you.
Alas, following the "Rules" sometimes implies loneliness (even if you are married and have children). Be glad it's not forever!
Discussion
This is not for everyone and not all men are like that! If I'm cold on the phone with my husband, he won't like it and will cause the opposite effect, the same about sex ... these Tips are more suitable for teenagers who have just started dating, I also can't imagine how you can start spending more time with friends and hobbies, not family? On the contrary, this will outrage a normal husband, just like a normal wife, unless you don’t care, it’s surprising that there is no advice about: get yourself a lover, make you jealous!)))) in general, I also laughed😁
01.11.2018 23:05:50, Ekaterina CologneAnd if we have three children... And one of them is two weeks old. How can I go to fitness, negotiate with friends and make plans in general ??? I just wait for him to come and help me.
06.10.2018 18:00:26, OlolaAnd if he doesn’t react to this without emotion either ... complete ignore
24.08.2018 19:55:57, AisuInformatively
Not initiate sex? My husband is very turned on when I "lead", wives in the style of virgins are not to everyone's liking.
And I had to by the way)
A useful article - many, including myself, tend to fall in love with a man.
The article is only for women who tend to "dissolve" in a man.
They forgot about the tape in the braid !!!
Thanks, I laughed
Comment on the article "How to be always interesting for a husband. Famous rules"
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I am 36, my husband is 33). I want to be loved and the only one ... They managed to go to Egypt at the end of December (the husband then said that he was going to a conference), and then spent 4 days in Germany (it was just on March 8 - he was also allegedly at a conference) .
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It turns out that the husband did not go to the conversation. Well, a few days ago I once again made an attempt to talk and this time I heard what I saw, but I didn’t want to believe in it. He said that the feelings were gone and nothing could be returned, which had accumulated over the years and now accumulated.
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And a man should always be strong, not criminal, unshakable. But he, too, sometimes wants to give up slack, he just doesn’t know how. My husband even went to his mother for a couple of days. Our child did not sleep at night for 2.5 months, so everything was like in ...
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There are situations in life when a man cools off towards a woman, loses interest in her, although they have been together for quite some time and, it would seem, they have an excellent relationship. It is impossible to say unequivocally who is to blame for this situation: either the woman has ceased to take care of herself, or the man’s head is not busy with that. Therefore, a woman who has noticed signs of detachment from her partner should analyze the situation and, possibly, change something in herself.
How to be attractive to a man?- Face. Even if you live together, do it anyway light makeup: correct skin imperfections, tint eyelashes, preen for him. At the same time, spare his nerves and do face masks and anti-cellulite wraps in his absence.
- Sport. Go in for sports. Running, rollerblading, cycling, swimming, shaping, aerobics, yoga, dancing - choose what you will do with joy every day. You will improve your health and be in a great physical form that your man will not fail to notice.
- Cloth. Do not walk around the house in a bathrobe, do not meet a man from work in an old T-shirt and leggings. Be beautiful and attractive, even while doing homework. Be sure to replenish your home wardrobe with shorts, T-shirts and tops, a beautiful home dress, as well as elegant slippers. Be sure to buy your beautiful underwear. Even if it does not look coquettish during household chores and does not provoke a man, it will still give you confidence in your beauty and emancipation simply because you are wearing it.
- Smell. There is nothing better than the smell of a clean, freshly washed body. But also about spirits and toilet water should not be forgotten either. Choose a scent that your man likes and put perfume on yourself for his pleasure.
- Hair. Do not allow yourself to walk around with a dirty head. Do hairstyles, new haircuts, let a man see you every time in a new way.
- Joke. A sense of humor will allow a man to look at you differently.
- Take care of the man. Covering it with a blanket, you will at least get a grateful look in return.
- Root out your bad habits. This will not only attract a man, but also have a positive effect on your health.
- Surprise the man. Let your imagination run wild.
- Be cheerful. In the hustle and bustle of everyday work and pressing problems, this is great to distract a man from difficult thoughts.
- Do not skimp on the manifestation of positive emotions. Share them with a man.
- Show your tenderness, remember the child living in the soul of an adult man.
- Use your intuition. Anticipate his desires, mood, you will surprise him with this.
- Turn on female logic, it is she who suggests non-standard ways out of the situation.
- Be unpredictable. Intrigue and puzzle a man in a positive way and within reason.